שיחות הר"ן 160

שָׁמַעְתִּי מִפִּי הָאִישׁ שֶׁשִּׁמֵּשׁ אוֹתוֹ בִּימֵי יַלְדוּתוֹ בְּעֵת שֶׁעָסַק בְּתַעֲנִיתִים (כַּמְבֹאָר בְּהַשִּׂיחוֹת שֶׁמִּקֹּדֶם), וְסִפֵּר לְפָנַי הָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל: שֶׁפַּעַם אַחַת הִתְעַנָּה רַבֵּנוּ ז"ל מִשַּׁבָּת לְשַׁבָּת וּבְאֶמְצַע הַשָּׁבוּעַ בְּיוֹם רְבִיעִי יָצָא מִמֶּנּוּ דָּם מֵחָטְמוֹ וּמִשְּׁתֵּי עֵינָיו וּמִשְּׁתֵּי אָזְנָיו וּמִפִּיו. וְצָעַק הָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל לְפָנָיו, וְאָמַר שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה רַעַשׁ בְּבֵיתוֹ עַל שֶׁנֶּחֱלַשׁ כָּל כָּךְ.

I heard this in the name of the man who attended to the Rebbe in his youth. The Rebbe would often fast from Shabbat to Shabbat (see “His Praises” #9). On a Wednesday, in the middle of one such fast, blood began flowing from his nose, eyes, ears and mouth. His attendant started screaming, saying that he would raise an alarm in the house because the Rebbe was so faint.

וּפִיֵּס אוֹתוֹ בְּחָכְמָתוֹ, וְאָמַר לוֹ: "כָּךְ הַדֶּרֶךְ, שֶׁמַּכְבִּידִין הַתַּעֲנִית בְּאֶמְצַע הַשָּׁבוּעַ. הֲלֹא תִּרְאֶה בְּיוֹם מָחָר יֵקַל עָלַי".

The Rebbe wisely calmed him down, saying, “This is the way of such a fast. It becomes most difficult in the middle of the week, but tomorrow you will see that it will be easier for me.”

עַד שֶׁהֻכְרַח הָאִישׁ לִשְׁתֹּק, כִּי הִשְׁבִּיעַ אוֹתוֹ תְּחִלָּה שֶׁלֹּא יְגַלֶּה לְשׁוּם אָדָם הַתַּעֲנִיתִים שֶׁלּוֹ.

The Rebbe had made his attendant take an oath not to tell anyone about his fasts, so he had to keep it to himself.

פַּעַם אֶחָד הִתְעַנָּה מִשַּׁבָּת לְשַׁבָּת, וּבְאֶמְצַע הַשָּׁבוּעַ הֻכְרַח לִשְׁכַּב עַל מִטָּתוֹ, וְרַגְלוֹ תָּלָה לְמַעְלָה וּסְמָכָם עַל הַמּוֹט וְכַיּוֹצֵא, מֵעֹצֶם חֲלִישׁוּתוֹ.

During another such fast, the Rebbe became so faint in the middle of the week that he had to take to his bed and raise his feet on the bedpost.