Damaged Faith Causes a Person to Stand Back to Back with God / When He Repents, He Stands Face to Face with God In the days of the Temple, a person would bring a burnt-offering to gain atonement for a wrongful thought. Our sages teach that “regarding the ‘thoughts of a gentile,’ HaShem punishes a person merely for having intended to sin.” This means that if a gentile intends to sin, he is punished; a Jew, however, is punished only when he sins in actuality. But this teaching can be interpreted to refer to a Jew as well. If, while a person is reciting the set prayers or engaging in his own prayers to God, he falls spiritually, that is the equivalent of having the “thoughts of a gentile.” That person experienced this descent because his faith is damaged. This caused him to turn his face away from God, and then God correspondingly turned His face away from him. As a result, he and God now stand back to back. When this happens, a person must break his spirit so that he feels shame and regrets having fallen from Heaven to earth. In doing so, he cuts himself away from his backto- back relationship with God. That cutting apart corresponds to the Kabbalistic Divine Name Chatakh (Cutting), which is an acronym for the final letters of the phrase, Potei’aCh eT yadeKhah (“Open Your hand”). 1Psalms 145:16. As one breaks his heart and spirit, he brings forth the dynamics of that Divine Name. He sighs in and out — two breaths. And the Hebrew word ruach (breath or spirit), when repeated twice, is numerically equivalent to Chatakh. Accomplishing this is the equivalent of bringing a burnt-offering. And then this person returns to stand face to face with God. Face to Face “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. God will not despise a broken and crushed heart.”
Master of the world, “Healer of those whose hearts are shattered, You Who bind their sorrows,” You know how broken my heart is. Gaze down from Heaven and consider how You have treated me. See how poor I am. Have mercy on my heart, which is broken into pieces, like a rock shattered by a hammer, so that its thoughts are scattered to the far ends of the earth.
I am guilty in every way. You know that I only want to do Your will and I never intended to anger You. But my evil inclination, the “leaven in the dough,” caused me to fail.
Our sages teach that all of the power of the evil inclination to make people sin comes from You, and that every day You regret having created it and having given it such power. That is why, our sages tell us, the verse states, “I did wrong.” And so I ask You, “HaShem, why do You cause us to stray from Your path? Why do You harden our hearts so that we no longer fear You?”
Master of the world, You know that my only hope to gain true and eternal goodness is to speak freely to You. But You know hard it is for me to do this.
Even if You inspire me to speak some words of prayer and I begin to express my bitter spirit, suddenly my heart closes and I am struck silent. Speech leaves me, my mind grows blank, and I do not know what to say. “I am silent, I cannot open my mouth, for You have brought this about.” “I am mute and still, I am silent even in the face of goodness, and my pain is intense.”
My Father in Heaven, what can I do to rectify all of my evil thoughts and confusing ideas — particularly those that reflect blemishes in my faith, which are the most difficult of all to amend?
What can I do so that You will restore Your face to me and I will turn back to You? “When will I come and see the face of God?” When will I attain a strong and proper faith so that I will be able to speak to You face to face, as a person talks to his friend, at which time no curtain will separate me from You?
The Deep Sigh of Repentance Master of compassion, help me accustom myself to sigh from the depths of my heart as I consider how far I am from You due to my sins — particularly due to my blemished faith, which causes me to fall silent when I am in the middle of speaking to You, and to descend as from Heaven to earth.
Help me be so aware of my painful state that I sigh from the depths of my heart and my spirit is broken. May my spirit then rise until You accept it in Your compassion, as though I had brought You a burnt-offering, which grants atonement for the thoughts of the heart.
Open Your hand and help me repent. When I breathe in and out with each sigh, draw onto me the great illumination that comes from the Divine Name emerging from the final letters of the phrase, Potei’ach et Yadekhah (“Open Your hand”).
The Hiding of God’s Face Our Father in Heaven, our King and God of faith, You know all of the struggles that every one of us is experiencing in regard to holy faith.
In Your love of Your nation, the Jewish people, You planted within us Your holy faith as an inheritance from our fathers. How fortunate are we, how good our portion, how pleasant our fate, and how fine our inheritance.
This, more than anything else, hides Your face from me and constitutes my greatest trouble in the world. As the verse states, “These evils have come upon me because God is not in my midst.”
May I hold on to the ways of our holy fathers and believe in You, in Your holy Torah and in Your true Tzaddikim, with a perfect, pure and proper faith.
May this faith be so strong so that it is as though I see You face to face, and I feel such fear and shame before You that I will no longer commit any sin or cause any blemish.
And should any thought or desire that opposes Your will arise in my mind, may I immediately experience awe and shame before You, knowing that You stand over me constantly and that at every moment, You see my deeds and know the secret thoughts of my heart.
“I shall not hide from before You” because Your glory fills the earth. As the verse states, “’Will a person hide in concealment so that I will not see him?’ declares HaShem. ‘Do I not fill Heaven and earth?’”
May I make use of the power of holy faith to recite the prayers and speak to You in my own words, with a whole heart and proper thoughts that are firmly connected to my words, without any improper motives and without ever turning aside from You.
May I pour forth my spirit like water before You, HaShem. May I gain Your favor as I pray with a crushed heart, like a son imploring his father, until, as you see how far I am from You, You will have compassion on me and rescue me.
“We will not turn back from You. Give us life and we will call in Your Name. HaShem, Lord of Hosts, bring us back; illumine Your face, and we will be saved.”
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה ק"ח - זִבְחֵי אֱלֹקִים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה]
זִבְחֵי אֱלֹהִים רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה לֵב נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹהִים לֹא תִבְזֶה.
Damaged Faith Causes a Person to Stand Back to Back with God / When He Repents, He Stands Face to Face with God
In the days of the Temple, a person would bring a burnt-offering to gain atonement for a wrongful thought.
Our sages teach that “regarding the ‘thoughts of a gentile,’ HaShem punishes a person merely for having intended to sin.” This means that if a gentile intends to sin, he is punished; a Jew, however, is punished only when he sins in actuality. But this teaching can be interpreted to refer to a Jew as well. If, while a person is reciting the set prayers or engaging in his own prayers to God, he falls spiritually, that is the equivalent of having the “thoughts of a gentile.”
That person experienced this descent because his faith is damaged. This caused him to turn his face away from God, and then God correspondingly turned His face away from him. As a result, he and God now stand back to back. When this happens, a person must break his spirit so that he feels shame and regrets having fallen from Heaven to earth.
In doing so, he cuts himself away from his backto- back relationship with God. That cutting apart corresponds to the Kabbalistic Divine Name Chatakh (Cutting), which is an acronym for the final letters of the phrase, Potei’aCh eT yadeKhah (“Open Your hand”). 1Psalms 145:16. As one breaks his heart and spirit, he brings forth the dynamics of that Divine Name.
He sighs in and out — two breaths. And the Hebrew word ruach (breath or spirit), when repeated twice, is numerically equivalent to Chatakh.
Accomplishing this is the equivalent of bringing a burnt-offering. And then this person returns to stand face to face with God.
Face to Face
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. God will not despise a broken and crushed heart.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, הָרוֹפֵא לִשְׁבוּרֵי לֵב וּמְחַבֵּשׁ לְעַצְּבוֹתָם. אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ אֶת לְבָבִי הַנִשְׁבָּר, הַנִּדְכֶּא וְהַנִּכְאֶה. הַבֵּט מִשָּׁמַיִם וּרְאֵה לְמִי עוֹלַלְתָּ כֹּה, רְאֵה נָא בְעָנְיִי, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, חוּס עַל שְׁבִירַת לְבָבִי הַנִּשְׁבָּר לְשִׁבְרֵי שְׁבָרִים, כְּפַטִּישׁ יְפוֹצֵץ סָלַע כֵּן נִתְפּוֹצֵץ וְנִשְׁבַּר לְבָבִי, כִּי מַחְשְׁבוֹת לְבָבִי מְפֻזָּרִים וְנִדָּחִים בִּקְצֵה אָרֶץ.
Master of the world, “Healer of those whose hearts are shattered, You Who bind their sorrows,” You know how broken my heart is. Gaze down from Heaven and consider how You have treated me. See how poor I am. Have mercy on my heart, which is broken into pieces, like a rock shattered by a hammer, so that its thoughts are scattered to the far ends of the earth.
הָאֱמֶת, כִּי אֲנִי הַחַיָּב מִכָּל הַצְּדָדִים, אֲבָל אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ, כִּי לֹא לְהַכְעִיסֶךָ נִתְכַּוַּנְתִּי חָלִילָה, כִּי רְצוֹנִי לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנְךָ, אַךְ שְׂאוֹר שֶׁבָּעִסָּה מְעַכֵּב אוֹתִי,
I am guilty in every way. You know that I only want to do Your will and I never intended to anger You. But my evil inclination, the “leaven in the dough,” caused me to fail.
וּכְבָר כָּתַבְתָּ עַל עַצְמְךָ שֶׁכָּל כֹּחוֹת הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע וְחֵילוֹתָיו הַמַּחֲטִיאִים אֶת בְּנֵי אָדָם הַכֹּל מִמְּךָ, וְאַתָּה מִתְחָרֵט עֲלֵיהֶם בְּכָל יוֹם עַל שֶׁבְּרָאתָם וְנָתַתָּ לָהֶם כֹּחַ כָּזֶה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וַאֲשֶׁר הֲרֵעוֹתִי. כְּמוֹ שֶׁדָּרְשׁוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, וּכְתִיב, לָמָּה תַתְעֵנוּ יְהֹוָה מִדְּרָכֶיךָ תַּקְשִׁיחַ לִבֵּנוּ מִיִּרְאָתֶךָ:
Our sages teach that all of the power of the evil inclination to make people sin comes from You, and that every day You regret having created it and having given it such power. That is why, our sages tell us, the verse states, “I did wrong.” And so I ask You, “HaShem, why do You cause us to stray from Your path? Why do You harden our hearts so that we no longer fear You?”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ רָזֵי עוֹלָם וְתַעֲלוּמוֹת סִתְרֵי כָּל חָי, אַתָּה חוֹפֵשׂ כָּל חַדְרֵי בָטֶן וּבוֹחֵן כְּלָיוֹת וָלֵב. אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ כִּי אֵין לִי שׁוּם סְמִיכָה וְתִקְוָה לְטוֹב אֲמִתִּי וְנִצְחִי, כִּי אִם עַל־יְדֵי מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בַּעַל הָרַחֲמִים, אֲבָל לְפָנֶיךָ נִגְלוּ כָּל תַּעֲלוּמוֹת לֵב, וְאַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ כַּמָּה קָשֶׁה וְכָבֵד עָלַי גַּם זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ, כִּי מְבַלְבְּלִים אוֹתִי וּמוֹנְעִים אוֹתִי מִזֶּה מְאֹד,
Master of the world, You know that my only hope to gain true and eternal goodness is to speak freely to You. But You know hard it is for me to do this.
וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם לִפְעָמִים, בְּחֶמְלָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה, אַתָּה שׁוֹלֵחַ לִי אֵיזֶה דִבּוּרִים, וַאֲנִי מַתְחִיל לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי וְלִבִּי הַמַּר לְפָנֶיךָ, בְּתוֹךְ כָּךְ נִסְתַּם לְבָבִי בְּאֶמְצַע הַדִּבּוּר, וַאֲנִי נִשְׁאָר מִשְׁתּוֹמֵם, כְּמִי שֶׁנִּתְאַלֵּם בְּתוֹךְ דְּבָרָיו מַמָּשׁ, כְּמוֹ כֵן פִּתְאֹם נִסְתַּלֵּק הַדִּבּוּר מִמֶּנִּי, וּלְבָבִי אָטוּם וּמַחְשְׁבוֹתַי תְּמֵהִים, וְאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת, כִּי פִּתְאֹם נֶאֱלַמְתִּי לֹא אֶפְתַּח פִּי כִּי אַתָּה עָשִׂיתָ. נֶאֱלַמְתִּי דוּמִיָּה הֶחֱשֵׁיתִי מִטּוֹב וּכְאֵבִי נֶעְכָּר.
Even if You inspire me to speak some words of prayer and I begin to express my bitter spirit, suddenly my heart closes and I am struck silent. Speech leaves me, my mind grows blank, and I do not know what to say. “I am silent, I cannot open my mouth, for You have brought this about.” “I am mute and still, I am silent even in the face of goodness, and my pain is intense.”
וְנִדְמֵיתִי כְּמוֹ נָסוֹג אָחוֹר מִמֶּךָּ חָלִילָה, וְאַתָּה כְּמַסְתִּיר פָּנִים מִמֶּנִּי,
It is as though I have turned my back to You, and You have hidden Your face from me.
וּכְבָר גִּלִּיתָ אָזְנֵינוּ שֶׁכָּל זֶה נִמְשָׁךְ עַל־יְדֵי פְּגָם אֱמוּנָה שֶׁנֶּחְשָׁב כַּעֲבוֹדָה זָרָה,
You have taught us that such a state is caused by a blemish in faith, which is tantamount to idolatry.
וְעַתָּה מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם לְכַפֵּר עַל כָּל זֶה, לְתַקֵּן וּלְכַפֵּר עַל כָּל הַהִרְהוּרִים וְהַמַּחֲשָׁבוֹת רָעוֹת וְרַעְיוֹנִים הַמְבֻלְבָּלִים הָעוֹלִים עַל רוּחִי, וּבִפְרָט עַל הִרְהוּרֵי עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה שֶׁהֵם פְּגָם אֱמוּנָה שֶׁהֵם קָשִׁים מֵהַכֹּל.
My Father in Heaven, what can I do to rectify all of my evil thoughts and confusing ideas — particularly those that reflect blemishes in my faith, which are the most difficult of all to amend?
אוֹי מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה שֶׁתָּשִׁיב פָּנֶיךָ אֵלַי, וַאֲנִי אָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת. מָתַי אֶזְכֶּה לָזֶה, מָתַי אָבוֹא וְאֵרָאֶה פְּנֵי אֱלֹהִים. מָתַי מָתַי, מָתַי אֶזְכֶּה לֶאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה וַחֲזָקָה וּנְכוֹנָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ פָּנִים בְּפָנִים, כַּאֲשֶׁר יְדַבֵּר אִישׁ אֶל רֵעֵהוּ, וְלֹא יִהְיֶה שׁוּם מָסָךְ הַמַּבְדִּיל בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶךָ.
What can I do so that You will restore Your face to me and I will turn back to You? “When will I come and see the face of God?” When will I attain a strong and proper faith so that I will be able to speak to You face to face, as a person talks to his friend, at which time no curtain will separate me from You?
רַחֵם עָלַי בַּעַל הָרַחֲמִים, וְזַכֵּנִי וְעָזְרֵנִי וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי שֶׁאַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמִי לְהִתְאַנֵּח אֲנָחָה גְּדוֹלָה מֵעֹמֶק הַלֵּב בֶּאֱמֶת, עַל גֹּדֶל רִחוּקִי מִמְּךָ עַל־יְדֵי עֲוֹנוֹתַי הַמְּרֻבִּים, וּבִפְרָט עַל פְּגָם הָאֱמוּנָה, אֲשֶׁר עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה נִסְתַּם פִּי בְּאֶמְצַע דִּבּוּרִי, וְנָפַלְתִּי כְּמוֹ מִשָּׁמַיִם לָאָרֶץ.
The Deep Sigh of Repentance
Master of compassion, help me accustom myself to sigh from the depths of my heart as I consider how far I am from You due to my sins — particularly due to my blemished faith, which causes me to fall silent when I am in the middle of speaking to You, and to descend as from Heaven to earth.
זַכֵּנִי לְהַרְגִּישׁ כְּאֵבִי וּמַכְאוֹבִי הֶעָצוּם בֶּאֱמֶת, עַד שֶׁאֶתְאַנֵּחַ אֲנָחָה אֲמִתִּיִּית מֵעֹמֶק הַלֵּב, וְיִהְיֶה רוּחִי נִשְׁבָּר בְּקִרְבִּי בֶּאֱמֶת, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁיִּתְעוֹרְרוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים עָלַי. וְיַעֲלֶה וְיָבֹא וְיַגִּיעַ וְיֵרָאֶה וְיֵרָצֶה לְפָנֶיךָ רוּחִי הַנִּשְׁבָּר עַל־יְדֵי אַנְחָתִי כְּאִלּוּ הִקְרַבְתִּי קָרְבַּן עוֹלָה לְפָנֶיךָ שֶׁהִיא בָּאָה לְכַפֵּר עַל הִרְהוּרֵי הַלֵּב.
Help me be so aware of my painful state that I sigh from the depths of my heart and my spirit is broken. May my spirit then rise until You accept it in Your compassion, as though I had brought You a burnt-offering, which grants atonement for the thoughts of the heart.
וּבְחֶמְלָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה תִּפְתַּח אֶת יָדְךָ בְּרַחֲמִים וּבְרָצוֹן, וְתַחֲזִירֵנִי בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת. וְעַל־יְדֵי הָרוּחַ שֶׁאוֹצִיא וְהָרוּחַ שֶׁאַכְנִיס בִּשְׁעַת הָאֲנָחָה, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה תַמְשִׁיךְ עָלַי הֶאָרָה גְּדוֹלָה מֵהַשֵּׁם (חתך) הַיּוֹצֵא מִפָּסוּק פּוֹתֵח' אֶת' יָדֶךָ' וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכָל חַי רָצוֹן,
Open Your hand and help me repent. When I breathe in and out with each sigh, draw onto me the great illumination that comes from the Divine Name emerging from the final letters of the phrase, Potei’ach et Yadekhah (“Open Your hand”).
וְעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה תַחְתֹּךְ וּתְנַסֵּר אֶת נַפְשִׁי וְנִשְׁמָתִי מִבְּחִינַת אָחוֹר בְּאָחוֹר, וְתַחֲזִירֵנִי וּתְשִׁיבֵנִי אֵלֶיךָ בִּבְחִינַת פָּנִים בְּפָנִים.
In that way, may my soul be connected to You not back to back, but face to face.
אָבִינוּ שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, אֵל מֶלֶךְ נֶאֱמָן, אֵל אֱמוּנָה, אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ אֶת כָּל מַה שֶּׁעוֹבֵר עָלֵינוּ עַל כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד בְּעִנְיַן הָאֱמוּנָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה,
The Hiding of God’s Face
Our Father in Heaven, our King and God of faith, You know all of the struggles that every one of us is experiencing in regard to holy faith.
כִּי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וּבְאַהֲבָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה אֶת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל, חָמַלְתָּ עָלֵינוּ וְנָטַעְתָּ בְּתוֹכֵנוּ אֱמוּנָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה אֲשֶׁר יָרַשְׁנוּ מֵאֲבוֹתֵינוּ. אַשְׁרֵינוּ מַה טּוֹב חֶלְקֵנוּ וּמַה נָּעִים גּוֹרָלֵנוּ וּמַה יָּפָה יְרֻשָּׁתֵנוּ.
In Your love of Your nation, the Jewish people, You planted within us Your holy faith as an inheritance from our fathers. How fortunate are we, how good our portion, how pleasant our fate, and how fine our inheritance.
אַךְ מֵעֹצֶם רִבּוּי עֲוֹנוֹתַי עֲדַיִן עוֹלִים עַל הַלֵּב מַחְשְׁבוֹת חוּץ שֶׁהֵם כְּנֶגֶד אֱמוּנָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה,
But due to the multitude of my sins, superficial thoughts that oppose Your holy faith rise in my heart.
אֲשֶׁר זֶה עִקָּר הַהִתְרַחֲקוּת וְהַסְתָּרַת פָּנִים וְצָרָה גְּדוֹלָה מִכָּל הַצָּרוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, הֲלֹא עַל כִּי אֵין אֱלֹהַי בְּקִרְבִּי מְצָאוּנִי כָּל הָרָעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה:
This, more than anything else, hides Your face from me and constitutes my greatest trouble in the world. As the verse states, “These evils have come upon me because God is not in my midst.”
רַחֵם עָלֵינוּ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, בְּרַחֲמִים גְּדוֹלִים, בְּרַחֲמִים רַבִּים. וְשָׁמְרֵנוּ וְהַצִּילֵנוּ מֵעַתָּה מִכָּל מִינֵי כְּפִירוֹת וְהִרְהוּרִים וּמַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁהֵם כְּנֶגֶד אֱמוּנָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה.
The Strongest Faith
Protect me from this moment on so that I will not fall prey to any type of heresy or thoughts that oppose Your holy faith.
רַק נִזְכֶּה לֶאֱחֹז בְּדַרְכֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים, לְהַאֲמִין בְּךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ, וּבְתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וּבְצַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, בֶּאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה זַכָּה וּנְכוֹנָה.
May I hold on to the ways of our holy fathers and believe in You, in Your holy Torah and in Your true Tzaddikim, with a perfect, pure and proper faith.
וְתִהְיֶה הָאֱמוּנָה חֲזָקָה כָּל כָּךְ, כְּאִלּוּ אֲנִי רוֹאֶה אוֹתְךָ תִּתְבָּרַךְ, עַיִן בְּעַיִן, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי־זֶה תִהְיֶה יִרְאָתְךָ עַל פָּנַי, זוֹ הַבּוּשָׁה, לְבִלְתִּי אֶחֱטָא עוֹד שׁוּם חֵטְא וְעָוֹן וְלֹא אֶפְגֹּם עוֹד שׁוּם פְּגָם כְּלָל,
May this faith be so strong so that it is as though I see You face to face, and I feel such fear and shame before You that I will no longer commit any sin or cause any blemish.
וּבְכָל־עֵת שֶׁיִּרְצֶה לַעֲלוֹת עַל דַּעְתִּי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֵיזֶה מַחֲשָׁבָה שֶׁל אֵיזֶה תַאֲוָה וְרָצוֹן שֶׁהוּא נֶגֶד רְצוֹנְךָ, תִּפֹּל עָלַי תֵּכֶף אֵימָה וָפַחַד וְיִרְאָה וּבוּשָׁה גְּדוֹלָה מִפָּנֶיךָ, אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה עוֹמֵד עָלַי בְּכָל־עֵת וָרֶגַע וְרוֹאֶה בְּמַעֲשַׂי וְיוֹדֵעַ צְפוּן לִבִּי וּמַחְשְׁבוֹתַי,
And should any thought or desire that opposes Your will arise in my mind, may I immediately experience awe and shame before You, knowing that You stand over me constantly and that at every moment, You see my deeds and know the secret thoughts of my heart.
כִּי מִפָּנֶיךָ לֹא אֶסָּתֵר, כִּי מְלוֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדֶךָ. וּכְמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, אִם יִסָּתֵר אִישׁ בַּמִּסְתָּרִים וַאֲנִי לֹא אֶרְאֶנּוּ נְאֻם יְהֹוָה הֲלוֹא אֶת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֶת הָאָרֶץ אֲנִי מָלֵא.
“I shall not hide from before You” because Your glory fills the earth. As the verse states, “’Will a person hide in concealment so that I will not see him?’ declares HaShem. ‘Do I not fill Heaven and earth?’”
וְאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי תֹקֶף הָאֱמוּנָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה לְהִתְפַּלֵּל וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן וּלְהִתְבּוֹדֵד וּלְפָרֵשׁ כָּל שִׂיחָתִי לְפָנֶיךָ תָמִיד בְּלֵב שָׁלֵם וּבְמַחֲשָׁבָה נְכוֹנָה, שֶׁתִּהְיֶה הַמַּחֲשָׁבָה קְשׁוּרָה אֶל דִּבּוּרֵי הַתְּפִלָּה בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק בְּלִי שׁוּם פְּנִיָּה וּבְלִי שׁוּם נְטִיָּה אֶל הַצַּד כְּלָל חַס וְשָׁלוֹם.
May I make use of the power of holy faith to recite the prayers and speak to You in my own words, with a whole heart and proper thoughts that are firmly connected to my words, without any improper motives and without ever turning aside from You.
וְיִהְיוּ כָּל דְּבָרַי וְשִׂחוֹתַי עִמְּךָ פָּנִים אֶל פָּנִים, כַּאֲשֶׁר יְדַבֵּר אִישׁ אֶל רֵעֵהוּ. פֶּה אֶל פֶּה אֲדַבֵּר עִמְּךָ אֵת כָּל אֲשֶׁר עִם לְבָבִי.
May I speak to You face to face, as a person speaks to his friend, telling You everything in my heart.
וְאֶשְׁפֹּךְ אֶת נַפְשִׁי כַמַּיִם נוֹכַח פָּנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה. וַאֲסַפֵּר לְפָנֶיךָ אֶת כָּל לִבִּי בְּרַחֲמִים וְתַחֲנוּנִים, בְּדִבְרֵי חֵן וְרִצּוּי וּפִיּוּס, בְּלֵב נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּא בֶּאֱמֶת, כְּבֵן הַמִּתְחַטֵּא לִפְנֵי אָבִיו, עַד אֲשֶׁר יִכָמְרוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ עָלַי וְיֶהֱמוּ מֵעֶיךָ עַל גֹּדֶל רִחוּקִי מִמְּךָ עַד הֵנָּה. וְתַתְחִיל מֵעַתָּה לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי יְשׁוּעָה שְׁלֵמָה וַאֲמִתִּיִּית לָנֶצַח,
May I pour forth my spirit like water before You, HaShem. May I gain Your favor as I pray with a crushed heart, like a son imploring his father, until, as you see how far I am from You, You will have compassion on me and rescue me.
שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בִּשְׁלֵמוּת. וְתוֹלִיכֵנִי וְתַדְרִיכֵנִי בַּאֲמִתְּךָ בְּכָל עֵת וָרֶגַע, וְלֹא אָסוּר עוֹד מֵרְצוֹנְךָ יָמִין וּשְׂמֹאל.
Help me return to You. Guide me at every moment so that I will no longer turn aside from Your will, either to the right or the left.
וְתַחְמֹל וּתְרַחֵם עָלַי כְּרַחֲמֵי הָאָב עַל הַבֵּן. וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי בְּכָל־עֵת בְּכָל מִינֵי יְשׁוּעוֹת, וּתְקָרְבֵנִי בְּכָל מִינֵי הִתְקָרְבוּת לָנֶצַח,
Have pity on me as a father has compassion on his son. Save me and bring me close to You in every way.
וְלֹא נָסוֹג מִמֶּךָּ, תְּחַיֵּינוּ וּבְשִׁמְךָ נִקְרָא. יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהִים צְבָאוֹת הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ הָאֵר פָּנֶיךָ וְנִוָּשֵׁעָה.
“We will not turn back from You. Give us life and we will call in Your Name. HaShem, Lord of Hosts, bring us back; illumine Your face, and we will be saved.”
בָּרוּךְ יְהֹוָה לְעוֹלָם אָמֵן וְאָמֵן:
Blessed is HaShem forever. Amen and amen.