חלק ב 41

[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה פ"ב - כִּי תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה מֵעִנְיָן כְּסֵדֶר וְשֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר]
לְחֹדֶשׁ אֱלוּל
יְהֹוָה אִישׁ מִלְחָמָה יְהֹוָה שְׁמוֹ, יְהֹוָה עִזּוּז וְגִבּוֹר יְהֹוָה גִבּוֹר מִלְחָמָה.

There are Two States of Being: “in Order” and “Not in Order” / When a Person is Egotistical, He Cuts Himself Off from God and His Life is “Not in Order” / When a Person Repents, is Humble and Bonds Himself to God, His Life is “in Order” / The Principal Time for Repentance is in Elul / In Elul, Moses Paved a Road upon which Every Jew Can Walk / A Jew Must Strive Not to be Blinded by God’s Light, but Always Maintain Humility
There are two states of being: “in order” and “not in order.”
“In order” corresponds to Adam, who in turn represents the male manifestation of Divinity, as it were. The word ADaM has the numerical value of 45. This corresponds to the Divine Name YHVH filled in with the letter aleph, so that it has the numerical value of 45 — in Hebrew, MaH.⁷According to the Kabbalah, God’s Holy Name YHVH can be “filled in” or “expanded” with the letter aleph as follows: יוד הא ואו הא (YOD HA VAV HA), which has the numerical value of 45. This is the same numerical value as that of the words אדם (ADaM)and מה (MaH, what). “In order” is also associated with wisdom and intelligence.
“Not in order,” on the other hand, corresponds to Eve, who represents the female manifestation of God — when it is separated from the male manifestation, as it were. That female manifestation is associated with malkhut (sovereignty) — in particular, to “the sovereignty of the mouth,” the Oral Torah. Sovereignty is related to speech; since “there is no king without a nation,” the people know the king’s will only when he reveals it in his speech.
Eve’s life force comes from mah — the intellect, wisdom.
When a person is haughty, he cuts himself off from God. It is as if he is a lifeless limb. Then he experiences opposition to his will, and his life becomes a battle.
Such a person has separated Eve — malkhut — from the Holy One so that she is not whole, and has taken malkhut for himself, saying, “I will establish my own sovereignty.” That creates a sickness of the heart.
A person gains wholeness only when he connects himself to God. Then he receives God’s life force, which is related to His wisdom.
In parallel, when mah (Adam) is in alignment with malkhut (Eve) — when the Holy One draws the life force of wisdom to malkhut — then she attains perfection.
If a person sees that his life is “not in order,” he should repent and humble himself. Then Eve (malkhut) returns to Adam (mah) and everything becomes “in order.”
Then all of a person’s battles and all of the forces that oppose his will are nullified.
The principal repentance occurs in the month of Elul, whose days are days of favor. In this month, Moses ascended to receive the Second Tablets and opened a path upon which all Jews could subsequently proceed. With ultimate dedication, Moses connected himself to even the least Jew. For even the lowliest Jew has Godliness. There is Godliness even on the lowest level, even in the ten crowns of uncleanness.
The higher Moses went, the more he found God. In the physical realm, a poor person tends to serve God, whereas when he acquires wealth, he tends to forget God. Such forgetting is the equivalent of a person’s eyes being blinded because he comes too close to the Divine light. But King David said that even in Heaven, with every elevation, a person must find God.
For the Month of Elul
Waging a Spiritual Battle
“HaShem is a warrior, HaShem is His Name.” “HaShem is strong and mighty, HaShem is a warrior.” Elevated and holy Master of the world, Master of wars, You bring about mighty matters and perform new deeds.

רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָרוֹם וְקָדוֹשׁ פּוֹעֵל גְּבוּרוֹת עוֹשֶׂה חֲדָשׁוֹת בַּעַל מִלְחָמוֹת, רַחֵם עָלַי לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ, וְהִלָּחֵם בַּעֲדִי מִלְחֲמוֹת יְהֹוָה, רִיבָה יְהֹוָה אֶת יְרִיבַי לְחַם אֶת לוֹחֲמָי.

Have compassion on me for the sake of Your Name, and battle the wars of HaShem on my behalf. “HaShem, fight against those who fight me, battle those who battle me.”

כִּי בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים כָּבְדָה עָלַי הַמִּלְחָמָה, וּרְאֵה כִּי אָזְלַת יָד וְאֶפֶס עָצוּר וְעָזוּב.

Because of my many sins, the battle has weighed heavily upon me. Look: “The enemy’s hand gains strength and there is no savior to strengthen us.”

וּבַעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָעֲצוּמִים וְהָרַבִּים מְאֹד מְאֹד עַד גָּבְהֵי שְׁמֵי הַשָּׁמַיִם וְעָמְקוּ מִתְּהוֹם רַבָּה וְכוּ', הֶחְלִישׁוּ דַעְתִּי כָּל־כָּךְ, עַד אֲשֶׁר מַטְעִין אוֹתִי בְּדַעְתִּי הַשְּׁפֵלָה, שֶׁכִּמְעַט אֵין בְּיָדִי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם לִלְחוֹם מִלְחַמְתִּי שֶׁאֲנִי מֻכְרָח לְהִלָּחֵם בְּעוֹלָם הַמַּעֲשֶׂה הַזֶּה, וְאֵין בְּיָדִי לַעֲמֹד נֶגֶד שׂוֹנְאַי וְאוֹיְבַי בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וְרוּחָנִיּוּת, בִּפְרַט נֶגֶד תַּאֲווֹתַי הָרָעוֹת.

My many severe sins, which reach the heights of Heaven and descend lower than the vast depths, have greatly weakened my mind. They mislead my lowly awareness until I am almost incapable of waging the war that I must hazard in this world of action, Heaven forbid. I am unable to withstand my enemies and foes in both the physical and spiritual realms — in particular, my evil lusts.

אוֹי לִי וַי לִי, מָה אוֹמַר מָה אֲדַבֵּר מָה אֶצְטַדָּק, וְגַם זֶה מֵעֹצֶם נִפְלְאוֹתֶיךָ וְנוֹרְאוֹתֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי זוֹכֶה עַל־כָּל־פָּנִים עֲדַיִן לְדַבֵּר דְּבָרַי אֵלֶּה לְפָנֶיךָ, לְחַלּוֹת פָּנֶיךָ שֶׁתִּלְחוֹם בַּעֲדִי מִלְחַמְתִּי נֶגֶד אוֹיְבַי בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וְרוּחָנִיּוּת,

Woe! What shall I say? How shall I speak? How can I justify myself? But, at any rate, I can still speak these words of mine before You to seek Your countenance, so that You will battle on my behalf against my enemies in both the physical and spiritual realms. This is among Your profound wonders and awesome matters.

כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת נִפְלֵאת הִיא בְּעֵינַי, נִפְלְאוֹת תְּמִים דֵּעִים, אוֹדְךָ עַל כִּי נוֹרָאוֹת נִפְלֵיתִי נִפְלָאִים מַעֲשֶׂיךָ וְנַפְשִׁי יוֹדַעַת מְאֹד. מַה גָּדְלוּ מַעֲשֶיךָ יְהֹוָה מְאֹד עָמְקוּ מַחְשְׁבוֹתֶיךָ,

It is truly extraordinary in my eyes, perfect and wondrous. “I will thank You, for I was fashioned in an awesome, wondrous way. Wondrous are Your deeds, as my soul deeply knows.” “How great are Your deeds, HaShem; how very deep are Your thoughts.”

אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה חוֹשֵׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת עֲדַיִן לְקָרְבֵנִי אֵלֶיךָ, וְאַתָּה מְחַזְּקֵנִי עֲדַיִן עֲדַיִן לְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתִי זֹאת לְפָנֶיךָ, לָבוֹא לְפָנֶיךָ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל שֶׁתְּרַחֵם עָלַי וְתִלְחוֹם בַּעֲדִי מִלְחֲמוֹתֶיךָ,

You continue to think thoughts of how to bring me close to You, and You continue to strengthen me so that I may express my speech before You, coming to You to pray so that You will have compassion on me and wage Your wars on my behalf.

וְעַל חֲסָדֶיךָ וְנִסֶּיךָ וְנִפְלְאוֹתֶיךָ כָּאֵלֶּה וְכָאֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי רוֹאֶה מֵרָחוֹק שֶׁאַתָּה עוֹשֶׂה עִמִּי תָמִיד בְּכָל יוֹם וּבְכָל עֵת וּבְכָל שָׁעָה,

From afar, I see Your kindness, miracles and wonders that You perform on my behalf always — every day, every hour and every moment.

מִלְּבַד מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מַאֲמִין בְּנִפְלְאוֹתֶיךָ וַחֲסָדֶיךָ וּגְדֻלָּתְךָ עַד אֵין חֵקֶר הַנֶּעְלָם מִמֶּנִּי לְגַמְרֵי, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: לְעֹשֵׂה נִפְלָאוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת לְבַדּוֹ כִּי לְעוֹלָם חַסְדּוֹ.

Besides that, I believe in Your unbounded wonders, kindness and greatness that are entirely hidden from me, as in the verse, “He does great wonders alone; His kindness is eternal.”

הֵן עַל כָּל אֵלֶּה אֲנִי מְחַזֵּק עַצְמִי עֲדַיִן לְצַפּוֹת לִישׁוּעָתֶךָ, וּלְצַפְצֵף אִמְרָתִי מֵעָפָר, לְרַחֲמֶיךָ וַחֲסָדֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר לֹא תַמּוּ וְלֹא כָלוּ לְעוֹלָם:

Regarding all of these, I continue to encourage myself to look with hope to Your salvation, and to murmur from the dust to ask for Your compassion and kindness that have not ended and have never ceased.

עַל־כֵּן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, מֶלֶךְ הַכָּבוֹד, פּוֹעֵל יְשׁוּעוֹת בְּקֶרֶב הָאָרֶץ,

Therefore, I come to You Who are filled with compassion, King of honor, “Who performs salvations in the midst of the land.”

לַמְּדֵנִי אֵיךְ לְנַצֵּחַ אוֹתְךָ, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִפְעוֹל בַּקָּשָׁתִי בְּרַחֲמִים אֶצְלְךָ, שֶׁתִּלְחוֹם בַּעֲדִי מִלְחֲמוֹת יְהֹוָה, וְתַכְנִיעַ וּתְשַׁבֵּר וּתְבַטֵּל כָּל אוֹיְבַי תַּחְתָּי בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וְרוּחָנִיּוּת,

Teach me how to “conquer” You so that I will gain what I request with the help of Your compassion. Battle the wars of HaShem on my behalf. Subdue, shatter and eradicate all of my enemies in both the physical and spiritual realms.

וּתְבַטֵּל מִמֶּנִּי כָּל תַּאֲווֹתַי הָרָעוֹת וְכָל מִדּוֹתַי הָרָעוֹת, וְתוֹרֵנִי וּתְלַמְּדֵנִי בְּכָל עֵת אֵיךְ לְמַלֵּט נַפְשִׁי מֵהֶם שֶׁלֹּא אַמְשִׁיכֵם עָלַי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם.

Nullify all of my evil lusts and evil traits. Guide me and teach me at every moment how to rescue my soul so that I will not pull them to me, Heaven forbid.

כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ כִּי רַבִּים רוֹדְפַי וְצָרָי, רַבּוּ מִשַּׂעֲרוֹת רֹאשִׁי שׂוֹנְאַי חִנָּם עָצְמוּ מַצְמִיתַי אוֹיְבַי שֶׁקֶר אֲשֶׁר לֹא גָזַלְתִּי אָז אָשִׁיב,

You know that “many are my pursuers and my tormentors.” “More than the hairs of my head are those who hate me for no reason.” “Those who would cut me off, my deceitful enemies, have increased. Shall I recompense them what I did not steal?”

יְהֹוָה מָה רַבּוּ צָרָי רַבִּים קָמִים עָלָי (בִּפְרָט וְכוּ', אִם יֵשׁ לוֹ יִסּוּרִים מִשּׂוֹנְאִים הַמּוֹנְעִין אוֹתוֹ מֵעֲבוֹדַת ה' יְפָרֵשׁ כָּאן שִׂיחָתוֹ וּתְפִלָּתוֹ עֲלֵיהֶם),

“HaShem, how many are my adversaries, how many rise up against me!” (In particular, a person who is suffering because of enemies who prevent him from serving HaShem should express that here and pray about it.)

וַאֲנַחְנוּ לֹא נֵדַע מַה נַּעֲשֶׂה כִּי עָלֶיךָ עֵינֵינוּ, עָזְרֵנוּ אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׁעֵנוּ עַל דְּבַר כְּבוֹד שְׁמֶךָ וְהַצִּילֵנוּ וְכַפֵּר עַל חַטֹּאתֵינוּ לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ.

“We do not know what to do, and so our eyes are turned to You.” “Help us, God of our salvation, in regard to the honor of Your Name. Rescue us, forgive our transgressions, for the sake of Your Name.”

כִּי לֹא עַל צִדְקוֹתֵינוּ אֲנַחְנוּ מַפִּילִים תַּחֲנוּנֵנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ כִּי עַל רַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, מָה אָנוּ מֶה חַיֵּינוּ מֶה חַסְדֵּנוּ מַה צִּדְקוֹתֵנוּ מַה יְּשׁוּעָתֵנוּ מַה כֹּחֵנוּ מַה גְּבוּרָתֵנוּ,

“We do not cast our plea before You for the sake of our righteousness, but we appeal to Your great compassion.” “What are we? What is our life? What is our kindness? What is our righteousness? What is our salvation? What is our might? What is our strength?”

מַה נֹּאמַר לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, הֲלֹא כָל הַגִּבּוֹרִים כְּאַיִן לְפָנֶיךָ, וְאַנְשֵׁי הַשֵּׁם כְּלֹא הָיוּ, וַחֲכָמִים כִּבְלִי מַדָּע, וּנְבוֹנִים כִּבְלִי הַשְׂכֵּל.

“What shall I say before You, HaShem our God and God of our forefathers? All of the warriors are as nothing before You, the men of renown as if they never existed, the sages without knowledge and wise people without intelligence.”

מִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן אַלְפֵי אֲלָפִים וְרִבֵּי רְבָבוֹת קַל וָחוֹמֶר עַד אֵין קֵץ, פָּגוּם וְנִשְׁחַת, דַּל וְאֶבְיוֹן כָּמוֹנִי, חָלוּשׁ דֵּעָה, חָלוּשׁ כֹּחַ כָּמוֹנִי,

How much more is this true, a million and ten million times more, infinitely more, regarding a person as blemished and corrupt, poor and needy as I am, as weak in mind and strength as I am.

אוֹי, מִי יָקוּם בַּעֲדִי לִלְחוֹם מִלְחָמָה גְּדוֹלָה וְנוֹרָאָה כָּזֹאת, אֲשֶׁר מִתְעוֹרֶרֶת כְּנֶגְדִּי בְּכָל עֵת בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וְרוּחָנִיּוּת, עַל מִי לִי לְהִשָּׁעֵן עַל אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם:

Woe! Who will stand up on my behalf to fight such a great and terrible war against the physical and spiritual forces that constantly attack me? On whom may I rely? On my Father in Heaven.

רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָה אוֹמַר מָה אֲדַבֵּר מָה אֶצְטַדָּק, כִּי אֵין מִלָּה בִּלְשׁוֹנִי הֵן יְהֹוָה יָדַעְתָּ כֻלָּהּ, אָחוֹר וָקֶדֶם צַרְתָּנִי וַתָּשֶׁת עָלַי כַּפֶּכָה, פְּלִיאָה דַעַת מִמֶּנִּי נִשְׂגְּבָה לֹא אוּכָל לָהּ,

Putting Things “in Order”
Master of the world, what shall I say? How shall I speak? How can I justify myself? “There is no word on my tongue, because You know everything, HaShem.” “Back and front You have hemmed me in, and placed Your hand upon me.” “It is wondrous beyond my understanding, exalted, I cannot grasp it.”

אֵיךְ יִזְכֶּה (נַעַר) כָּמוֹנִי לְבַטֵּל בְּחִינַת שֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר לִבְחִינַת כְּסֵדֶר, בַּמֶּה יִזְכֶּה נַעַר כָּמוֹנִי לְקַשֵּׁר עַצְמִי בְּכָל עֵת לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בֶּאֱמֶת, לְקַשֵּׁר הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּמַחֲשַׁבְתִּי תָמִיד,

How can someone like myself [as immature as I am] nullify that which is “not in order” and put it “in order”? How can a person as immature as I am truly connect myself at every moment to HaShem, and constantly attach HaShem to my thoughts?

שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּכָל עֵת לַחְשׁוֹב בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ וּלְדָבְקָה בּוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְבַטֵּל עַצְמִי וְכָל יֵשּׁוּתִי וְכָל תַּאֲווֹתַי וּמִדּוֹתַי נֶגְדּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּבִטּוּל גָּמוּר בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלִהְיוֹת כְּאַיִן וּכְאֶפֶס מַמָּשׁ, וְלֵידַע שִׁפְלוּתִי בֶּאֱמֶת,

At every moment may I think of Him and truly cling to Him, nullifying myself, my entire being, and all of my lusts and evil traits to Him with a truly complete nullification. May I literally be as nothing and truly know how lowly I am.

עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בִּבְחִינַת 'מַה' בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְהִתְקַשֵּׁר וּלְהִכָּלֵל בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בֶּאֱמֶת עַד שֶׁיָּשׁוּב הַכֹּל כְּסֵדֶר, וְיִתְבַּטְּלוּ כָּל הָרְצוֹנוֹת שֶׁל כָּל הַמִּתְנַגְּדִים וְהַחוֹלְקִים כְּנֶגֶד רְצוֹנִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה כִּרְצוֹנְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת:

May I truly be on the level of mah, truly connected to and incorporated into Him, until everything will be returned to “in order,” and all of those who oppose and dispute my will shall be nullified, so that everything will truly be in accordance with Your will.

רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, לַמְּדֵנִי דַרְכֵי הָעֲנָוָה הָאֲמִתִּיִּית, לַמְּדֵנִי אֵיךְ לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל הַגַּאֲוָה שֶׁבְּלִבִּי וְדַעְתִּי.

Master of the world, teach me the ways of true humility. Teach me how to shatter and nullify the pride in my heart and mind.

כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת יָדַעְתִּי מְעַט שִׁפְלוּתִי, שֶׁאֵין רָאוּי לְהַעֲלוֹת עַל דַּעְתִּי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל גַּאֲוָה וְגַסּוּת וּפְנִיּוֹת לְעֹצֶם רִבּוּי קִלְקוּלִי וּפְגָמִי בְּלִי שִׁעוּר, אֲשֶׁר חָטָאתִי עָוִיתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי נֶגְדְּךָ הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד מֵעוֹדִי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה.

In truth, I know a little of my lowliness: that it is not fit for me to indulge in thoughts that are proud, coarse and filled with impure motives, due to the devastating aggregation of my measureless ruination and blemishes, since I have transgressed, sinned and offended before You so much from my beginning until this day.

אַךְ אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן אֵינִי נָקִי מִגַּאֲוָה וְגַבְהוּת, וַאֲנִי רָחוֹק מֵעֲנָוָה אֲמִתִּיִּית בְּתַכְלִית הָרִחוּק,

Nevertheless, I am not yet cleansed of pride and haughtiness, but I remain totally removed from true humility.

וּמֵחֲמַת זֶה אֲנִי רָחוֹק מִבְּחִינַת כְּסֵדֶר, וּבְכָל פַּעַם מִתְגַּבֶּרֶת כְּנֶגְדִּי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם הַהַנְהָגָה שֶׁל בְּחִינַת שֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר, וְאֵין שׁוּם דָּבָר שֶׁיֵּלֵךְ לִי כְּסֵדֶר, רַק הַכֹּל בְּעַקְמִימִיּוּת וּבִלְבּוּלִים,

Because of this, I am far from the level of matters being “in order.” The dynamic of things being “not in order” constantly rises against me, Heaven forbid. Nothing goes “in order” for me; rather, everything is twisted and confused.

כִּי מְעַקְּמִין וּמְבַלְבְּלִין אֶת דַּעְתִּי בְּכַמָּה מִינֵי בִּלְבּוּלִים וְיִסּוּרִים מִכַּמָּה צְדָדִים, וְגַם הַפַּרְנָסָה דְחוּקָה וּמְצוּמְצֶמֶת, וְנִמְשֶׁכֶת בְּכִלְיוֹן עֵינַיִם, וְנוֹגְשִׂים וְחוֹבוֹת רַבִּים סְבָבוּנִי,

My mind is twisted and confused by turmoil and suffering that originate from a number of areas. Moreover, my income, which I earn until my eyes are exhausted, is strained and slight, and a multitude of creditors and debts harasses me.

וּשְׁאָר מִינֵי יִסּוּרִים שֶׁיֵשׁ לִי וּלְכָל הַסְּמוּכִים אֵלַי, בְּכַמָּה אוֹפַנִּים, שֶׁכָּל זֶה נִמְשָׁךְ מִבְּחִינַת הַהַנְהָגָה שֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר, עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁפָּגַמְתִּי בַּעֲנָוָה וְנִכְשַׁלְתִּי בְּגֵאוּת וְגַדְלוּת, רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן מֵעַתָּה:

I and all those who depend on me experience other types of suffering as well. All of this is due to the dynamic of things being “not in order,” which came about because I damaged my humility and stumbled into pride and egotism, may the Compassionate One protect me from now on.

לְז' אֲדָר הִילּוּלָא דְּמֹשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ ע"ה
וּבְכֵן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶׁתַּעַזְרֵנִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי בִּזְכוּת וְכֹחַ דֶרֶךְ הַתְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהִמְשִׁיכוּ מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם וְכָל הַצַּדִּיקִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים בָּעוֹלָם, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה גַם אָנֹכִי מֵעַתָּה לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם.

For the Seventh of Adar, the Hilula of Moses
The Path of Repentance
And so I come to You, HaShem our God and God of our fathers, requesting that You help me and save me in the merit and power of the path of repentance that Moses and all of the true Tzaddikim drew down into the world, so that from now on I will truly return to You in complete repentance with all my heart.

כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ נִפְלָאוֹת הַדְּרָכִים שֶׁל תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהִמְשִׁיכוּ בָּעוֹלָם, שֶׁהוֹרִידוּ אֶת עַצְמָן וְקִשְּׁרוּ אֶת עַצְמָן עִם הַפָּחוּת שֶׁבַּפְּחוּתִים, אֲפִלּוּ עִם פָּחוּת כָּמוֹנִי בְּכָל מָקוֹם שֶׁאֲנִי שָׁם,

You know the wondrous pathways of repentance that they brought into the world. They lowered themselves and connected themselves to the least of the least — even to a person as lowly as I am, on whatever level I may be.

וַעֲדַיִן הֵם מְקַשְּׁרִים עַצְמָם עִמִּי בִּמְקוֹמִי שֶׁאֲנִי שָׁם עַתָּה, וּמִצִדָּם לֹא יִבָּצֵר לְהוֹצִיאֵנִי מִגָּלוּתִי, וּלְהַעֲלוֹתִי וּלְהַכְנִיסֵנִי לְתוֹךְ הַקְּדֻשָּׁה בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְהַעֲלוֹת אוֹתִי מַעְלָה מַעְלָה.

And they continue to connect themselves to me on my present level, so that, as far as they are concerned, nothing will prevent them from extricating me from my exile, from raising me and truly bringing me to holiness, and elevating me higher and higher.

רַחֵם עָלַי וְזַכֵּנִי לְהִתְקַשֵּׁר לְצַּדִּיקִים קְדוֹשִׁים כָּאֵלּוּ תָמִיד, וְיִתְגַּלֶּה לִי דֶרֶךְ הַקֹּדֶשׁ דַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהֵם מַמְשִׁיכִים בָּעוֹלָם,

Have compassion on me and always help me connect myself to holy Tzaddikim such as they. May the pathways of holiness and repentance that they draw into the world be revealed to me.

בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְקַשֵּׁר וּלְדַבֵּק עַצְמִי אֵלֶיךָ תָּמִיד בֶּאֱמֶת, בְּתַכְלִית הָעֲנָוָה וְהַבִּטּוּל בֶּאֱמֶת.

From now on may I truly return to You in full repentance. May I truly connect myself with You and cling to You always, with true, complete humility and self-negation.

וְתִשְׁמְרֵנִי וְתַצִּילֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה כֹּחַ לְשׁוּם בְּחִינַת יְרִידָה וְלֹא לְשׁוּם בְּחִינַת עֲלִיָּה לְרַחֲקֵנִי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם מִמְּךָ.

In Your compassion, guard me and save me so that no descent or ascent will have the power to distance me from You, Heaven forbid.

כִּי לִפְעָמִים נִתְרַחֵק הָאָדָם חַס וְשָׁלוֹם עַל־יְדֵי הָעֲלִיָּה שֶׁאַתָּה מַעֲלֶה אוֹתוֹ, דְהַיְנוּ עַל־יְדֵי רִבּוּי הָעוֹשֶׁר וְהַטּוֹב שֶׁאַתָּה מַשְׁפִּיעַ לוֹ, אוֹ עַל־יְדֵי רִבּוּי הַדַּעַת בִּידִיעַת רוֹמְמוּתֶךָ, כִּי רִבּוּי הָאוֹר מַכְהֶה עֵינָיו וּמַזִּיק לוֹ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם,

For sometimes a man is distanced, Heaven forbid, as a result of an ascent in which You have placed him — such as when You shower him with an abundance of riches, or when he experiences an abundance of awareness in knowledge of Your loftiness — because an abundance of Divine light blinds his eyes and hurts him, Heaven forbid.

עַל־כֵּן בָּאתִי לְבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ שֶׁתָּגֵן עָלַי בְּכַפֶּךָ, וְתִשְׁמְרֵנִי וְתַצִּילֵנִי וְתָגֵן בַּעֲדִי שֶׁלֹּא יַזִּיק לִי שׁוּם דָּבָר, וְלֹא אֶתְרַחֵק מִמְּךָ לְעוֹלָם,

Therefore, I have come to ask You to shield me with Your hand, to guard me, save me and protect me so that nothing will hurt me and I will never be distanced from You.

הֵן בִּבְחִינַת יְרִידָה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם אֲפִלּוּ בַּדְיוּטָא הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה, אֲפִלּוּ בַּעֲשָׂרָה כִּתְרִין דִּמְסָאֲבוּתָא חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, גַּם שָׁם אֶזְכֶּה לִמְצוֹא אוֹתְךָ תָמִיד, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וּמַלְכוּתוֹ בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה.

May I always find You even if I descend, Heaven forbid, to the lowest level, even to the ten crowns of pollution, Heaven forbid. As the verse states, “His kingdom rules over all.”

וְהֵן בִּבְחִינַת עֲלִיָּה, כַּאֲשֶׁר תְּרַחֵם עָלַי וְתַעֲלֵנִי מַעְלָה מַעְלָה, בְּכָל עֲלִיָּה וַעֲלִיָּה אֶזְכֶּה לִמְצוֹא אוֹתְךָ תָמִיד,

And when I ascend, when You have compassion on me and raise me higher and higher, with every ascent may I find You always.

וְאֶתְקָרֵב אֵלֶיךָ תָמִיד בְּכָל הַבְּחִינוֹת בֵּין בְּטִיבוּ בֵּין בְּעָקוּ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בֵּין בִּירִידָה בֵּין בַּעֲלִיָּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: אִם אֶסַּק שָׁמַיִם שָׁם אָתָּה וְאַצִּיעָה שְׁאוֹל הִנֶּךָּ, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם,

May I always come close to You on every level, whether things are going well or poorly, Heaven forbid, whether I am descending or ascending. As the verse states, “If I rise to Heaven, You are there, and if I lie down in Sheol, there You are.” May I truly attain complete repentance from now and forever.

וּבִפְרָט בְּחֹדֶשׁ אֱלוּל הַקָּדוֹשׁ שֶׁהֵם יְמֵי רָצוֹן שֶׁעָלָה מֹשֶׁה לְקַבֵּל לוּחוֹת אַחֲרוֹנוֹת וּפָתַח דֶּרֶךְ כְּבוּשָׁה לֵילֵךְ בָּהּ.

The Holy Month of Elul
In particular, may this be the case in the holy month of Elul, whose days are days of favor, when Moses ascended to receive the Second Tablets and revealed a paved path upon which to walk.

רַחֵם עָלַי מֵעַתָּה שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהָכִין אֶת עַצְמִי מֵהַיּוֹם לְהַמְשִׁיךְ עָלַי קְדֻשַּׁת חֹדֶשׁ אֱלוּל הַקָּדוֹשׁ, קְדֻשַּׁת הַדֶּרֶךְ תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁהִמְשִׁיךְ מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ וְכָל הַצַּדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים בָּעוֹלָם בְּדַרְכֵי נִפְלְאוֹתֵיהֶם הַנּוֹרָאוֹת,

Have compassion on me from now on so I will prepare myself, beginning from today, to draw onto myself the holiness of the month of Elul, the holiness of the path of repentance that Moses and all of the true Tzaddikim drew into the world with their awesome, wondrous ways.

כִּי אֵין לִי שׁוּם תִּקְוָה כִּי אִם עַל־פִּי דֶרֶךְ זֶה שֶׁהוּא יָדוּעַ לְךָ וּלְצַדִּיקֶיךָ הַגְּדוֹלִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים לְבַד, וְהַטּוֹב בְּעֵינֵיכֶם עֲשׂוּ עִמִּי, וַאֲנִי תָּמִיד אֲיַחֵל, עַד יַשְׁקִיף וְיֵרֶא יְהֹוָה מִשָּׁמָיִם:

My only hope is in this path, which is known only to You and to Your great, true Tzaddikim. May they treat me in a way that is good in Your eyes. “I will always hope,” “until HaShem will gaze and see from Heaven.”

חוֹמֵל דַּלִּים, חוּס וַחֲמֹל נָא עָלַי וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ מְהֵרָה לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ,

You Who have mercy on the poor, please have pity and mercy on me and on the entire Jewish people. Save us quickly for the sake of Your Name.

וְעָזְרֵנוּ מֵעַתָּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וְהַגְּדוֹלִים וְהַנִּפְלָאִים מְאֹד מְאֹד, לְבַטֵּל כָּל הַדִּינִים וְהַיִּסּוּרִים וְהַמְּנִיעוֹת וְהַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים הַנִּמְשָׁכִין מִבְּחִינַת שֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר,

Help us from now on. In Your exceedingly vast, great and wondrous compassion and kindness, dispel all of the judgments, suffering, obstacles, cravings and turbulence that are drawn from the level of “not in order.”

וְיִתְבַּטֵּל וְיוּכְלַל וְיִתְהַפֵּךְ בְּחִינַת שֶׁלֹּא כְּסֵדֶר לִבְחִינַת כְּסֵדֶר, עַד שֶׁמֵּעַתָּה יִתְנַהֵג הַכֹּל כְּסֵדֶר בְּגַשְׁמִיּוּת וְרוּחָנִיּוּת, בְּגוּף וְנֶפֶשׁ וּמָמוֹן.

May the level of “not in order” be nullified, subsumed and transformed into the level of “in order,” until from now on everything will be “in order” for me in the material and spiritual realms — in body, soul and financial matters.

וְתִשְׁמְרֵנוּ מֵעַתָּה וְתַצִּילֵנוּ מִכָּל מִינֵי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת זָרוֹת שֶׁל גֵּאוּת וְגַבְהוּת וְגַסּוּת וּפְנִיּוֹת, וְנִזְכֶּה לַעֲנָוָה בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְקַשֵּׁר אוֹתְךָ בְּמַחֲשַׁבְתֵּנוּ תָמִיד, שֶׁתִּהְיֶה מַחֲשַׁבְתֵּנוּ קְשׁוּרָה בְּךָ וּבַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ תָמִיד,

Guard us from now on. Rescue us from every type of foreign thought, egotism, haughtiness, coarseness and impure motives. May we attain true humility and always connect You to our thoughts, so that our thoughts will always be attached to You and to serving You.

עַד אֲשֶׁר יִתְבַּטְּלוּ כָּל הָרְצוֹנוֹת וְכָל הַמִּלְחָמוֹת נֶגֶד רְצוֹנֵנוּ. וְנִזְכֶּה לִגְמוֹר תָּמִיד חֶפְצֵי שָׁמַיִם כִּרְצוֹנְךָ וְכִרְצוֹן צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים בֶּאֱמֶת,

May all of the desires and battles against our will be nullified. May we always truly fulfill the desires of Heaven, in accordance with Your will and in accordance with the will of Your true Tzaddikim.

וְלֹא יִהְיֶה כֹחַ לְשׁוּם מוֹנֵעַ וּמְעַכֵּב לִמְנוֹעַ אוֹתָנוּ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם מִשּׁוּם דָּבָר שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה, כִּי אַתָּה עוֹזֵר לְלֹא כֹחַ כָּמוֹנִי, וְנוֹתֵן לַיָּעֵף כֹּחַ.

May no obstacle or impediment have the power to separate us from any holy matter, Heaven forbid. You help someone as powerless as I am. You “give strength to the weary.”

עָזְרֵנִי לִגְמוֹר רְצוֹנְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, הֵן מַה שֶּׁנּוֹגֵעַ לִי בִּפְרַט, הֵן מַה שֶּׁנּוֹגֵעַ אֶל הַכְּלָל, עָזְרֵנִי לְמַעַן שְׁמֶךָ שֶׁיּוּגְמַר הַכֹּל כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב,

Help me truly fulfill Your will, both in what affects me in particular and in what affects others. Help me for the sake of Your Name, so that everything will be brought to completion in accordance with Your good will.

יְהֹוָה יִגְמוֹר בַּעֲדִי יְהֹוָה חַסְדְּךָ לְעוֹלָם מַעֲשֵׂי יָדֶיךָ אַל תֶּרֶף.

“May HaShem agree with me. HaShem, may Your kindness be forever. Do not let go of the work of Your hands.”

יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי־פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה צוּרִי וְגוֹאֲלִי. עוֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא בְּרַחֲמָיו יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing before You, HaShem, my Rock and my Redeemer.” “May He Who makes peace in His heights, in His compassion make peace upon us and upon all Israel, and say, ‘Amen.’”