And when we reflect upon this in truth, we find that the fulfillment of the mitzvah of judging one's friend in the scales of merit and the trait of guarding one's tongue depend on the fulfillment of the positive commandment of "And you shall love your friend as yourself." For if one truly loves his friend, he certainly will not speak lashon hara against him and he will seek merit for him with all of his strength. For if it happened to him that he did something unfitting and people were standing and talking about that thing and he knew of some aspect of merit in himself, whether it were his having acted unwittingly or the like, how much he would desire that there were someone who would speak up for him so that he not be unduly shamed. Exactly this should he do for his friend.
And this mitzvah of loving one's friend applies before the act, too, that his friend not come to shame. As when one marries off his son in a different city or when he himself comes to live in a different place, where he is a stranger to its customs. He taxes his brain to find some faithful friend there to apprise him of the customs of that place, and who, if he [the friend] finds him deviating from them in some way, will tell him so privately, so that he will take heed and not be embarrassed in the eyes of the men of the city. Thus, exactly, must he do for his friend. That is, if he sees him "stumbling" in some thing which is not to his credit, even if there is no issur in it, he must tell him so, that he not be shamed thereby. [And thus do we find in Horiyoth 13a with R. Yaakov b. Korshai and R. Shimon b. Gamliel. And more than this, we find in Sanhedrin 11a with several tannaim that they drew shame upon themselves to remove it from another. And how much more so if he sees him doing something against the din, he certainly must tell him so privately and reprove him for it so that he not fall into evil in the present and in the future; and he fulfils thereby the positive commandment of reproving and also the mitzvah of "And you shall love your friend as yourself."
And this will afford great pleasure to the Blessed Creator, his having perfected His son for His service. But if, G-d forbid, he does not do so, but, to the contrary, goes and shames him because of this before others, what does the Blessed Creator have from this?
To what may this be compared? To one who has a son who conducts himself improperly in some matter and his friend goes, in the eyes of his father, and publicizes this before others. Certainly, he [the father] will take offense and will say "You should have reproved him privately for this and I would have thanked you greatly for doing so, but you should not have gone and publicized him immediately for scorn and shame in the eyes of all. And I perceive that your intent was not concern for the truth. For if it were, it would have been better both for him and for you if you had reproved him for this. But your intent was only to blame and incriminate your friend and rejoice in his misfortune. This is nothing other than meanness of heart!"
So is it exactly with the Blessed Creator vis-à-vis the children of Israel, His holy people. For they are like sons to Him, as it is written (Devarim 14:1) "You are sons to the L-rd your G-d." And He rejoices in their good and grieves in their cries and in their shame (viz. Sanhedrin 46a). And this one [the friend] goes, in the eyes of the Father, whose glory fills all the world and shames His son before people to no purpose. What pleasure has He from this? And Rambam (Deoth 6:3) has adduced a principle in respect to the mitzvah of "And you should love your friend as yourself," that one should be just as solicitous of his friend's possessions and honor as he is of his own. And, as stated by Tanna d'bei Eliyahu 27: "Thus did the Holy One Blessed be He say to Israel: 'My beloved son, do I lack anything that I ask it from you? And what do I ask of you. Only that you love one another and honor one another and fear one another, and that there not be among you transgression and theft and unsightliness, so that you not be rejected forever, wherefore it is written (Michah 6:8): 'He has told you, O man, what is good. And what does the L-rd your G-d ask of you, but that you judge rightly, and love lovingkindness, and walk humbly with your G-d.'"
יְבֹאַר בּוֹ מִצְוַת "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֶּךָ כָּמוֹךָ".
In this chapter there will be explained the mitzvah of (Vayikra 19:18): "And you shall love your friend as yourself".
וְכַאֲשֶׁר נִתְבּוֹנֵן בֶּאֱמֶת, נִמְצָא שֶׁקִּיּוּם מִצְוַת לָדוּן אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת וּמִדַּת שְׁמִירַת הַלָּשׁוֹן תְּלוּיִים בְּקַיּוּם מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ". שֶׁאִם יֶאֱהֹב אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת, בְּוַדַּאי לֹא יְדַבֵּר עָלָיו לָשׁוֹן הָרָע וִיחַפֵּשׂ עָלָיו בְּכָל כֹּחוֹתָיו זְכוּת. כְּמוֹ שֶׁאִם אֵרַע לוֹ, שֶׁעָשָׂה אֵיזֶה דָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא כַּהֹגֶן, וּבְנֵי אָדָם הָיוּ עוֹמְדִים וּמְסַפְּרִים בְּעִנְיַן אוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר, וְהוּא יוֹדֵעַ בְּנַפְשׁוֹ שׁוּם צַד זְכוּת עַל עַצְמוֹ, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה דָּבָר זֶה בִּשְׁגָגָה אוֹ סִבָּה אַחֶרֶת, כַּמָּה מֵהַתְּשׁוּקָה הָיְתָה לוֹ שֶׁיִּמָּצֵא מִי שֶׁיְּלַמֵּד זְכוּת עָלָיו כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִתְבַּזֶּה כָּל כָּךְ, כֵּן בְּאֹפֶן זֶה מַמָּשׁ צָרִיךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת לַחֲבֵרוֹ.
And when we reflect upon this in truth, we find that the fulfillment of the mitzvah of judging one's friend in the scales of merit and the trait of guarding one's tongue depend on the fulfillment of the positive commandment of "And you shall love your friend as yourself." For if one truly loves his friend, he certainly will not speak lashon hara against him and he will seek merit for him with all of his strength. For if it happened to him that he did something unfitting and people were standing and talking about that thing and he knew of some aspect of merit in himself, whether it were his having acted unwittingly or the like, how much he would desire that there were someone who would speak up for him so that he not be unduly shamed. Exactly this should he do for his friend.
וְכֵן שַׁיֶּכֶת מִצְוָה זוֹ שֶׁל אַהֲבַת רֵעִים קֹדֶם הַמַּעֲשֶׂה גַּם כֵּן, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יָבוֹא חֲבֵרוֹ לִידֵי בִּזָּיוֹן. כְּמוֹ שֶׁאִם הָיָה מַשִּׂיא אֶת בְּנוֹ בְּעִיר אַחֶרֶת, אוֹ שֶׁהוּא בְּעַצְמוֹ הָיָה בָּא לָדוּר בְּמָקוֹם אַחֵר, אֲשֶׁר אֵינֶנּוּ יוֹדֵעַ דַּרְכּוֹ וְהַנְהָגָתוֹ שֶׁל אוֹתוֹ הַמָּקוֹם, הוּא מְשׁוֹטֵט בְּרַעֲיוֹנָיו לִמְצֹא שָׁם אוֹהֵב נֶאֱמָן, אֲשֶׁר יוֹדִיעַ לוֹ דַּרְכֵי הַנְהָגָה שֶׁל אוֹתוֹ הַמָּקוֹם, וְאִם יִרְאֶה שֶׁהוּא מִתְנַהֵג בְּאֵיזֶה דָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא כַּהֹגֶן, יֹאמַר לוֹ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ כְּדֵי שֶׁיֵּדַע מִמַּה לְהִזָּהֵר, וְלֹא יִתְבַּזֶּה עַל יְדֵי זֶה בְּעֵינֵי אַנְשֵׁי הָעִיר. כֵּן בְּזֶה הָאֹפֶן מַמָּשׁ צָרִיךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת לַחֲבֵרוֹ, דְּהַיְנוּ אִם הוּא רוֹאֶה שֶׁיִּכָּשֵׁל בְּאֵיזֶה דָּבָר, אֲשֶׁר לֹא לְכָבוֹד יִהְיֶה לוֹ, אַף אִם אֵין בָּזֶה אִסּוּר, מְחֻיָּב הוּא לוֹמַר לוֹ, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִתְבַּזֶּה עַל יְדֵי זֶה. [וּכְהַאי גַּוְנָא מָצִינוּ בְּהוֹרָיוֹת דַּף י"ג: בְּר' יַעֲקֹב בֶּן קַרְשִׁי עִם רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל, עַיֵּן שָׁם, וְיוֹתֵר מִזֶּה מָצִינוּ בְּסַנְהֶדְרִין (דף י"א.) בְּכַמָּה תַּנָּאִים, שֶׁהִמְשִׁיכוּ עַל עַצְמָן בִּזָּיוֹן כְּדֵי לְסַלֵּקּ בָּזֶה מֵעַל אַחֵר]. וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן אִם הוּא רוֹאֶה עָלָיו, שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה דָּבָר שֶׁלֹּא כַּהֹגֶן עַל פִּי הַדִּין, בְּוַדַּאי מְחֻיָּב הוּא לוֹמַר לוֹ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ וּלְהוֹכִיחוֹ עַל הַדָּבָר הַהוּא, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִפֹּל בְּרָעָה בָּזֶה וּבַבָּא וִיקַיֵּם בָּזֶה מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל הוֹכָחָה וְגַם הַמִּצְוָה שֶׁל "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ" וְכַנַּ"ל.
And this mitzvah of loving one's friend applies before the act, too, that his friend not come to shame. As when one marries off his son in a different city or when he himself comes to live in a different place, where he is a stranger to its customs. He taxes his brain to find some faithful friend there to apprise him of the customs of that place, and who, if he [the friend] finds him deviating from them in some way, will tell him so privately, so that he will take heed and not be embarrassed in the eyes of the men of the city. Thus, exactly, must he do for his friend. That is, if he sees him "stumbling" in some thing which is not to his credit, even if there is no issur in it, he must tell him so, that he not be shamed thereby. [And thus do we find in Horiyoth 13a with R. Yaakov b. Korshai and R. Shimon b. Gamliel. And more than this, we find in Sanhedrin 11a with several tannaim that they drew shame upon themselves to remove it from another. And how much more so if he sees him doing something against the din, he certainly must tell him so privately and reprove him for it so that he not fall into evil in the present and in the future; and he fulfils thereby the positive commandment of reproving and also the mitzvah of "And you shall love your friend as yourself."
וְיַגִּיע מִזֶּה נַחַת רוּחַ גָּדוֹל לְהַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ, שֶׁתִּקֵּן אֶת בְּנוֹ לַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ, אֲבָל אִם, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, לֹא יַעֲשֶׂה כֵן, וְאַדְּרַבָּה יֵלֵךְ וִיבַזֵּהוּ עֲבוּר זֶה בִּפְנֵי אֲחֵרִים, מַה יֵּשׁ לוֹ לַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ מִזֶּה?
And this will afford great pleasure to the Blessed Creator, his having perfected His son for His service. But if, G-d forbid, he does not do so, but, to the contrary, goes and shames him because of this before others, what does the Blessed Creator have from this?
הָא, לְמָה זֶה דּוֹמֶה? לְאֶחָד שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ בֵּן, שֶׁהִתְנַהֵג בְּאֵיזֶה עִנְיָן שֶׁלֹּא כַּשּׁוּרָה, וַחֲבֵרוֹ הָלַךְ לְעֵינֵי אָבִיו וּפִרְסֵם דָּבָר זֶה בִּפְנֵי רַבִּים. בְּוַדַּאי יֵשׁ לוֹ תַּרְעֹמֶת גְּדוֹלָה עָלָיו, בְּאָמְרוֹ: הָיָה לְךָ לְהוֹכִיחוֹ עֲבוּר זֶה בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ, וְהָיִיתִי נוֹתֵן לְךָ גֹּדֶל תְּשׁוּאַת חֵן עַל זֶה, אֲבָל לֹא לָלֶכֶת תֵּכֶף וּלְפַרְסֵם אוֹתוֹ לִגְנוּת וּלְבִזָּיוֹן בְּעֵינֵי הַכֹּל. וַאֲנִי מִתְבּוֹנֵן בְּךָ, שֶׁאֵין כַּוָּנָתְךָ בִּשְׁבִיל קִנְאַת הָאֱמֶת, דְּאִם כֵּן, יוֹתֵר טוֹב הָיָה לוֹ וְגַם לְךָ אִלּוּ הָיִיתָ מוֹכִיחוֹ עַל זֶה, אֲבָל כַּוָּנָתְךָ רַק לְחַיֵּב וּלְהַרְשִׁיעַ אֶת חֲבֵרְךָ וְלִשְׂמֹחַ לְאֵידוֹ, אֵין זֶה כִּי אִם רֹעַ לֵב.
To what may this be compared? To one who has a son who conducts himself improperly in some matter and his friend goes, in the eyes of his father, and publicizes this before others. Certainly, he [the father] will take offense and will say "You should have reproved him privately for this and I would have thanked you greatly for doing so, but you should not have gone and publicized him immediately for scorn and shame in the eyes of all. And I perceive that your intent was not concern for the truth. For if it were, it would have been better both for him and for you if you had reproved him for this. But your intent was only to blame and incriminate your friend and rejoice in his misfortune. This is nothing other than meanness of heart!"
כֵּן הַדָּבָר מַמָּשׁ בְּעִנְיַן הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ עִם בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל עַם קְּדוֹשׁוֹ, כִּי הֵם אֶצְלוֹ בִּבְחִינַת בָּנִים כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר הַכָּתוּב (דברים י"ד א'): "בָּנִים אַתֶּם לַה' אֱלֹהֵיכֶם", וְשָׂמֵחַ בְּטוֹבָתָם וּמִצְטַעֵר בְּצָרָתָם וּבִזְיוֹנָם (כְּמָה דְּאִיתָא בְּסַנְהֶדְרִין דַּף מ"ו.), וְהוּא הוֹלֵךְ לְעֵינֵי הָאָב, אֲשֶׁר מְלֹא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ, וּמְבַזֶּה בְּנוֹ בִּפְנֵי אֲנָשִׁים לְלֹא תּוֹעֶלֶת, מַה הֲנָאָה יֵשׁ לוֹ מִזֶּה? וּכְלָל כָּתַב לָנוּ הָרַמְבַּ"ם (דעות ו' ג') בְּעִנְיַן מִצְוַת (וַיִּקרָא י"ט י"ח) "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ", שֶׁיָּחוּס עַל מָמוֹן וּכְבוֹד חֲבֵרוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא חוֹשֵׁשׁ עַל מָמוֹן וּכְבוֹד עַצְמוֹ. וְזֶה לְשׁוֹן הַתָּנָא דְּבֵי אֵלִיָּהוּ פֶּרֶק כ"ח: וְכֵן אָמַר לָהֶם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל: בָּנַי אֲהוּבַי, כְּלוּם חָסַרְתִּי דָּבָר שֶׁאֲבַקֵּשׁ מִכֶּם? וּמָה אֲנִי מְבַקֵּשׁ מִכֶּם, אֶלָּא שֶׁתִּהְיוּ אוֹהֲבִין זֶה אֶת זֶה וְתִהְיוּ מְכַבְּדִין זֶה אֶת זֶה וְתִהְיוּ יְרֵאִים זֶה מִזֶּה, וְלֹא יִמָּצֵא בָּכֶם עֲבֵרָה וְגֶזֶל וְדָבָר מְכֹעָר שֶׁלֹּא תָּבוֹאוּ לִידֵי פְּסוּל מֵעוֹלָם, לְכָךְ נֶאֱמַר (מיכה ו' ח'): "הִגִּיד לְךָ אָדָם מַה טּוֹב וּמָה ה' דּוֹרֵשׁ מִמְּךָ, כִּי אִם עֲשׂוֹת מִשְׁפָּט וְאַהֲבַת חֶסֶד וְהַצְנֵעַ לֶכֶת עִם אֱלֹהֶיךָ" וְכוּ' עַיֵּן שָׁם.
So is it exactly with the Blessed Creator vis-à-vis the children of Israel, His holy people. For they are like sons to Him, as it is written (Devarim 14:1) "You are sons to the L-rd your G-d." And He rejoices in their good and grieves in their cries and in their shame (viz. Sanhedrin 46a). And this one [the friend] goes, in the eyes of the Father, whose glory fills all the world and shames His son before people to no purpose. What pleasure has He from this? And Rambam (Deoth 6:3) has adduced a principle in respect to the mitzvah of "And you should love your friend as yourself," that one should be just as solicitous of his friend's possessions and honor as he is of his own. And, as stated by Tanna d'bei Eliyahu 27: "Thus did the Holy One Blessed be He say to Israel: 'My beloved son, do I lack anything that I ask it from you? And what do I ask of you. Only that you love one another and honor one another and fear one another, and that there not be among you transgression and theft and unsightliness, so that you not be rejected forever, wherefore it is written (Michah 6:8): 'He has told you, O man, what is good. And what does the L-rd your G-d ask of you, but that you judge rightly, and love lovingkindness, and walk humbly with your G-d.'"