Another possible reason for calling this [(guarding of the tongue)] a "craft" is that just as all crafts require study until they are truly learned, so is it with speech. A man may not say to himself; Why belabor myself with guarding my tongue to know all the aspects of its functioning if I can acquire a natural muteness and this can suffice [for all exigencies]! For it is not so. For the proper response changes often according to the circumstances [as explained in Chafetz Chaim, Part One, Chapter VIII:5, and in Part Two, in several places]. Therefore it is necessary to learn and to know the categories and particulars of speech in order to know how to conduct oneself properly in the craft of that "muteness."
Chazal have also been very specific in their holy language in the term "in this world" [("What is the craft of a man in this world? Let him make himself mute, etc.")] That is, let a man not think: "I have already been habituated to this ["muting"] for more years than a craftsman to his craft, and I no longer need to devote my eyes and my heart to it so much" — wherefore Chazal have taught us that this is not so; but a man must train himself in this craft of making himself a natural mute all the days of his life, as the GRA has written in Alim Litrufah: "And until the day of his death a man must chastise himself, not with fasts and mortifications, but by putting a rein to his mouth and his lusts. And this is tshuvah [repentance], and this is all the fruit of the world to come, as it is written (Mishlei 6:23): 'For a mitzvah is a lamp; and Torah, light, and the chastisements of mussar [moral discipline], the way of life.' This is [worth] more than all the fasts and mortifications in the world. And Scripture states (Psalms 34:13-15): 'Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see good? Guard your tongue from evil, etc.' And in this way all of his sins will be forgiven and he will be saved from the depths of Sheol, as it is written (Mishlei 21:23): 'One who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from suffering,' and (Ibid. 18:21): 'Death and life are in the power of the tongue.' Woe unto him who puts himself to death for one particle of speech. And what advantage is there to the man of the tongue?"
And Chazal have said (Avoth 1:16): "All of my days I [R. Shimon] have grown up among the sages and I have found nothing better for the body than silence." That is: "I have grown up among the sages and chosen from their comely and holy traits, and the trait of silence was the best of all." Or: "Even though they were learned sages, and their speech was not, G-d forbid, of empty things, still I found that the best thing of all for the body, aside from words of Torah, was absolute silence." As far as the stress on "the body" is concerned, the meaning is: A man, though he be wise and perfect in his soul, as were the companions of R. Shimon, still in point of the matter "clothing" the soul [i.e., the body], it is almost impossible that all of his words be properly limited — wherefore, silence is best of all. And if in the generation of R. Shimon, whose tongue was habituated to speak in wisdom, so that even if it were not entirely guarded it would not swerve from its path, G-d forbid, still, he said that silence was best of all — what should we, the [mere] "hyssop of the wall" do, all of whose thoughts and speech, from our youth on, are only of vanity and emptiness? If we do not muzzle our mouths with the rein of silence with all of our strength, then certainly the tongue will do as has been its wont from early youth, and the loss [sustained by speaking] will far outweigh the reward.
One who is habituated to silence escapes many transgressions — flattery, levity, lashon hara, falsehood, and insult. For if someone shames and insults him, if he answers him, he will get a double portion. And thus does the wise man say: "I hear evil and keep silent." The other: "Why?" The wise man: "If I answer and retort to my shamers, I fear that I will hear insults more biting than the others!" Also, if one cultivates the trait of silence, everyone feels free to share his secrets with him. Since he is not disposed to speaking, he will not reveal them. In addition, he is not given to rechiluth. In this connection it is written (Mishlei 18:21): "Death and life are in the hands of the tongue." For a man does more [damage] with his tongue than with his sword. For [through scandal] a man can stand here and deliver his friend, who is far from him, to death, whereas the sword kills only at close range. Therefore, a man was created with two eyes, two ears, and two nostrils, but [only] with one mouth, to teach him to minimize speech.
Silence becomes sages; how much more so, fools. (Avoth 3:17): "A fence for wisdom is silence." "Silence is the universal cure." And guard your tongue like the pupil of your eye. (Mishlei 18:7): "The mouth of a fool is destruction to him, and his lips are a stumbling-block to his soul." And (Ibid. 21:23): "One who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from suffering."
And if you are sitting in a company, it is better that they say to you: "Speak. Why are you so silent?" than that you speak and your words be so tedious to them that they say to you: "Be silent!"
And it is written (Michah 7:5): "From her who lies in your bosom, guard the doors of your mouth." Scripture has hereby intimated to us that the mouth is like a door. And just as the door of a house has a time to be open and a time to be closed (for if it is always open everything in the house will be lost), so the doors of your mouth have a time to be open — to words of Torah and other essential things, and a time to be closed — to other things.
Therefore, just as one who has silver, gold, and pearls makes an enclosure within an enclosure to guard them and hides them in his innermost chamber in a special chest, so, even more, must he make an enclosure within an enclosure for his mouth; and that is, through the trait of silence.
עוֹד בָּעֵנְיָן הַנַּ"ל.
More on the same subject
עוֹד נוּכַל לוֹמַר שֶׁמַּה שֶּׁכִּנּוּ לְזֶה בְּשֵׁם אֻמָּנוּת, הוּא, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּל אֻמָּנוּת צְרִיכָה לִמּוּד עַד שֶׁיֵּדַע אוֹתָהּ לַאֲמִתָּהּ, כֵּן הוּא בְּעִנְיַן הַדִּבּוּר, לֹא יוּכַל הָאָדָם לוֹמַר: מַה לִּי לַעֲמֹל אֶת עַצְמִי בְּעִנְיַן שְׁמִירַת הַלָּשׁוֹן לֵידַע כָּל פְּרָטֵי אָפְנֵיהֶם? אֶקְנֶה לְנַפְשִׁי עִנְיָן טִבְעִי לִהְיוֹת תָּמִיד כְּאִלֵּם וּבָזֶה יִהְיֶה לִי דַּי. כִּי לֹא כֵן הַדָּבָר, כִּי מִשְׁתַּנֶּה הַרְבֵּה פְּעָמִים לְפִי הָעִנְיָן (כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְבָּאֵר בְּסֵפֶר חָפַץ חַיִּים בְּחֵלֶק א' בִּכְלָל ח' סָעִיף ה' וּבְחֵלֶק ב' בְּכַמָּה מְקוֹמוֹת), עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ לִלְמֹד וְלָדַעַת אֶת עִנְיַן הַדִּבּוּר בִּכְלָלָיו וּבִפְרָטָיו וְאָז יֵדַע לְנָכוֹן אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג בְּאֻמָּנוּת שֶׁל הָאִלְּמוּת הַהִיא.
Another possible reason for calling this [(guarding of the tongue)] a "craft" is that just as all crafts require study until they are truly learned, so is it with speech. A man may not say to himself; Why belabor myself with guarding my tongue to know all the aspects of its functioning if I can acquire a natural muteness and this can suffice [for all exigencies]! For it is not so. For the proper response changes often according to the circumstances [as explained in Chafetz Chaim, Part One, Chapter VIII:5, and in Part Two, in several places]. Therefore it is necessary to learn and to know the categories and particulars of speech in order to know how to conduct oneself properly in the craft of that "muteness."
גַּם דִּקְדְּקוּ חֲזַ"ל בִּלְשׁוֹן קָדְשָׁם, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, לוֹמַר, שֶׁאַל יַחֲשֹׁב הָאָדָם בְּנַפְשׁוֹ: כְּבָר הֻרְגַּלְתִּי בָּזֶה מִכַּמָּה שָׁנִים יוֹתֵר מֵאֻמָּן לְאֻמָּנוּתוֹ, וְאֵינִי צָרִיךְ שׁוּב לָשִׂים עֵינַי וְלִבִּי עַל זֶה כָּל כָּךְ, לָזֶה הוֹרוּ לָנוּ חֲזַ"ל שֶׁלֹּא כֵן הַדָּבָר, אֶלָּא כָּל יְמֵי חַיָּיו יַרְגִּיל הָאָדָם אֶת עַצְמוֹ בָּאֻמָּנוּת הַזּוֹ לִהְיוֹת בַּטֶּבַע כְּאִלֵּם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתַב הַגְּרָ"א בְּאִגַּרְתּוֹ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה "עָלִים לִתְרוּפָה" וְזֶה לְשׁוֹנוֹ: וְעַד יוֹם מוֹתוֹ צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְיַסֵּר אֶת עַצְמוֹ, וְלֹא בְּתַעֲנִית וְסִגּוּפִים, כִּי אִם בְּרֶסֶן פִּיו וּבְתַאֲווֹתָיו, וְזוֹהִי הַתְּשׁוּבָה, וְזֶה כָּל פְּרִי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (משלי ו' כ"ג): "כִּי נֵר מִצְוָה" וְגוֹ', אֲבָל "וְדֶרֶךְ חַיִּים תּוֹכְחוֹת מוּסָר". וְזֶהוּ יוֹתֵר מִכָּל הַתַּעֲנֵיתִים וְסִגּוּפִים שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם וְכוּ' * וְכֵן רָאִיתִי כָּתוּב בְּסֵפֶר "רֹאשׁ הַגִּבְעָה", שֶׁכְּשֶׁאָדָם רוֹצֶה לְהִתְנַדֵּב תַּעֲנִית, טוֹב יוֹתֵר שֶׁיְּקַבֵּל עָלָיו הַתַּעֲנִית מִן הַדִּבּוּר מִמַּה שֶּׁיְּקַבֵּל עָלָיו מִן הָאֲכִילָה, כִּי מִמֶּנּוּ לֹא יִהְיֶה לוֹ נֶזֶק לֹא בְּגוּפוֹ וְלֹא בְּנִשְׁמָתוֹ וְלֹא יֵחָלֵשׁ עַל יְדֵי הַתַּעֲנִית הַזּוֹ: . וְאָמַר הַכָּתוּב (תהילים ל"ד י"ג): "מִי הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים אֹהֵב יָמִים" וְגוֹ', וּבָזֶה יְכֻפַּר לוֹ כָּל עָוֹן, וְנִצָּל מִשְּׁאוֹל תַּחְתִּית, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (משלי כ"א כ"ג): "שֹׁמֵר פִּיו וּלְשׁוֹנוֹ שֹׁמֵר מִצָּרוֹת נַפְשׁוֹ", (משלי י"ח כ"א) "מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן". אוֹי לְמִי שֶׁמֵּמִית עַצְמוֹ בִּשְׁבִיל דִּבּוּר אֶחָד, וּמַה יִּתְרוֹן לְבַעַל הַלָּשׁוֹן. עַד כָּאן לְשׁוֹנוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ.
Chazal have also been very specific in their holy language in the term "in this world" [("What is the craft of a man in this world? Let him make himself mute, etc.")] That is, let a man not think: "I have already been habituated to this ["muting"] for more years than a craftsman to his craft, and I no longer need to devote my eyes and my heart to it so much" — wherefore Chazal have taught us that this is not so; but a man must train himself in this craft of making himself a natural mute all the days of his life, as the GRA has written in Alim Litrufah: "And until the day of his death a man must chastise himself, not with fasts and mortifications, but by putting a rein to his mouth and his lusts. And this is tshuvah [repentance], and this is all the fruit of the world to come, as it is written (Mishlei 6:23): 'For a mitzvah is a lamp; and Torah, light, and the chastisements of mussar [moral discipline], the way of life.' This is [worth] more than all the fasts and mortifications in the world. And Scripture states (Psalms 34:13-15): 'Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see good? Guard your tongue from evil, etc.' And in this way all of his sins will be forgiven and he will be saved from the depths of Sheol, as it is written (Mishlei 21:23): 'One who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from suffering,' and (Ibid. 18:21): 'Death and life are in the power of the tongue.' Woe unto him who puts himself to death for one particle of speech. And what advantage is there to the man of the tongue?"
וְאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל (אבות א' ט"ז): כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵּין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב מִשְּׁתִיקָה. פֵּרוּשׁ: גָּדַלְתִּי בֵּין הַחֲכָמִים וְלִקָּטְתִּי מֵהֶם מִדּוֹתֵיהֶם הַחֲמוּדוֹת וְהַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת, וּמִכֻּלָּן הָיְתָה מִדַּת הַשְּׁתִיקָה הַטּוֹבָה שֶׁבְּכֻלָּם. אוֹ יֹאמַר, שֶׁאַךְ שֶׁהֵם הָיוּ חֲכָמִים מְחֻכָּמִים וּבְוַדַּאי לֹא הָיָה דִּבּוּרָם, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בְּדִבְרֵי רִיק, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן רָאִיתִי וּמָצָאתִי שֶׁהַיּוֹתֵר טוֹב לַגּוּף, בִּלְתִּי דִּבְרֵי תּוֹרָה, הוּא הַשְּׁתִיקָה מַמָּשׁ. וּמַה שֶׁאָמַר לַגּוּף, פֵּרוּשׁ: שֶׁהָאָדָם, אַף שֶׁיִּהְיֶה חָכָם וְשָׁלֵם בְּנַפְשׁוֹ כְּמוֹ חֲבֵרָיו שֶׁל ר' שִׁמְעוֹן, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן, מִצַּד הַחֹמֶר הַמְלֻבָּשׁ עַל הַנֶּפֶשׁ, אִי אֶפְשָׁר כִּמְעַט שֶׁיִּהְיוּ כָּל דְּבָרָיו מְצֻמְצָמִין כָּרָאוּי, עַל כֵּן טוֹבָה יוֹתֵר הַשְּׁתִיקָה. וְאִם זֶה בְּדוֹרוֹ שֶׁל ר' שִׁמְעוֹן, שֶׁהָיְתָה מֻרְגֶּלֶת לְשׁוֹנָם רַק בְּדִבְרֵי חָכְמָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ לֹא יִשְׁמֹר פִּיו כָּל כָּךְ, גַּם כֵּן לֹא יֵצֵא מִדַּרְכּוֹ, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אָמַר שֶׁטּוֹב יוֹתֵר הַשְּׁתִיקָּה, מַה נַּעֲשֶׂה אֲזוֹבֵי הַקִיר, אֲשֶׁר כָּל מַחְשְׁבוֹתֵינוּ וְדִבּוּרֵנוּ מִנְּעוּרֵינוּ הוּא רַק בְּדִבְרֵי אֶפֶס וָרִיק? אִם לֹא נַחֲסֹם אֶת פִּינוּ בְּרֶסֶן הַשְּׁתִיקָה בְּכָל יְכָלְתֵּנוּ, בְּוַדַּאי תַּעֲשֶׂה הַלָּשׁוֹן אֶת שֶׁלָּהּ כְּפִי הֶרְגֵּלָהּ מִנְּעוּרָיו, וְיִהְיֶה הַהֶפְסֵד מְרֻבֶּה עַל הַשָּׂכָר כִּפְלֵי כִּפְלַיִם.
And Chazal have said (Avoth 1:16): "All of my days I [R. Shimon] have grown up among the sages and I have found nothing better for the body than silence." That is: "I have grown up among the sages and chosen from their comely and holy traits, and the trait of silence was the best of all." Or: "Even though they were learned sages, and their speech was not, G-d forbid, of empty things, still I found that the best thing of all for the body, aside from words of Torah, was absolute silence." As far as the stress on "the body" is concerned, the meaning is: A man, though he be wise and perfect in his soul, as were the companions of R. Shimon, still in point of the matter "clothing" the soul [i.e., the body], it is almost impossible that all of his words be properly limited — wherefore, silence is best of all. And if in the generation of R. Shimon, whose tongue was habituated to speak in wisdom, so that even if it were not entirely guarded it would not swerve from its path, G-d forbid, still, he said that silence was best of all — what should we, the [mere] "hyssop of the wall" do, all of whose thoughts and speech, from our youth on, are only of vanity and emptiness? If we do not muzzle our mouths with the rein of silence with all of our strength, then certainly the tongue will do as has been its wont from early youth, and the loss [sustained by speaking] will far outweigh the reward.
מִי שֶׁהוּא רָגִיל בִּשְׁתִיקָה נִצּוֹל מִכַּמָּה עֲבֵרוֹת, מֵחֲנִיפוּת וְלֵיצָנוּת וְלָשׁוֹן הָרָע וּשְׁקָרִים וְגִדּוּפִים, כִּי כְּשֶׁאָדָם מְחָרֵף וּמְגַדֵּף אוֹתוֹ, אִם יַעֲנֵהוּ, יוֹסִיף לְדַבֵּר לוֹ כִּפְלַיִם, וְכָךְ אָמַר הֶחָכָם: אֲנִי שׁוֹמֵעַ דָּבָר הָרַע וַאֲנִי שׁוֹתֵק, אָמַר לוֹ: וְלָמָּה, אָמַר לָהֶם: אִם אָשִׁיב וְאֶעֱנֶה לִמְחָרְפַי, אֲנִי יָרֵא שֶׁאֶשְׁמַע חֵרוּפִים אֲחֵרִים יוֹתֵר קָשִׁים מִן הָרִאשׁוֹנִים. גַּם מִי שֶׁמַּחֲזִיק בְּמִדַּת הַשְּׁתִיקָה כָּל אֶחָד יָכוֹל לְגַלּוֹת לוֹ סוֹדוֹתָיו, כֵּיוָן שֶׁאֵינוֹ רָגִיל בְּרֹב דְּבָרִים לֹא יִגַלֶּה, וְעוֹד אֵינוֹ רָגִיל בִּרְכִילוּת. וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר (משלי י"ח כ"א): "מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן", כִּי אָדָם עוֹשֶׂה בִּלְשׁוֹנוֹ יוֹתֵר מִמַּה שֶּׁעוֹשֶׂה בְּחַרְבּוֹ, כִּי הָאָדָם עוֹמֵד כָּאן וּמוֹסֵר חֲבֵרוֹ הָרָחוֹק מִמֶּנּוּ לְמִיתָה, אֲבָל הַחֶרֶב אֵינָהּ מְמִיתָה אֶלָּא בְּסָמוּךְ לָהּ. לְכָךְ נִבְרְאוּ בָּאָדָם שְׁתֵּי עֵינַיִם וּשְׁתֵּי אָזְנַיִם וּשְׁתֵּי נְחִירַיִם וּפֶה אֶחָד, לוֹמַר שֶׁיְּמַעֵט בְּדִבּוּר.
One who is habituated to silence escapes many transgressions — flattery, levity, lashon hara, falsehood, and insult. For if someone shames and insults him, if he answers him, he will get a double portion. And thus does the wise man say: "I hear evil and keep silent." The other: "Why?" The wise man: "If I answer and retort to my shamers, I fear that I will hear insults more biting than the others!" Also, if one cultivates the trait of silence, everyone feels free to share his secrets with him. Since he is not disposed to speaking, he will not reveal them. In addition, he is not given to rechiluth. In this connection it is written (Mishlei 18:21): "Death and life are in the hands of the tongue." For a man does more [damage] with his tongue than with his sword. For [through scandal] a man can stand here and deliver his friend, who is far from him, to death, whereas the sword kills only at close range. Therefore, a man was created with two eyes, two ears, and two nostrils, but [only] with one mouth, to teach him to minimize speech.
הַשְּׁתִיקָה יָפָה לַחֲכָמִים, קַל וָחֹמֶר לַטִּפְּשִׁים. (אבות ג' י"ג) סְיָג לַחָכְמָה שְׁתִיקָה סַמָּא דְּכֹלָּא שְׁתִיקָה (רפואת הכל - שתיקה). וְהִזָּהֵר בִּלְשׁוֹנְךָ לְשָׁמְרוֹ כְּאִישׁוֹן בַּת עַיִן, כִּי (משלי י"ח ז'): "פִּי כְסִיל מְחִתָּה לּוֹ וּשְׂפָתָיו מוֹקֵשׁ נַפְשׁוֹ". וּכְתִיב: "שֹׁמֵר פִּיו וּלְשׁוֹנוֹ שֹׁמֵר מִצָּרוֹת נַפְשׁוֹ".
Silence becomes sages; how much more so, fools. (Avoth 3:17): "A fence for wisdom is silence." "Silence is the universal cure." And guard your tongue like the pupil of your eye. (Mishlei 18:7): "The mouth of a fool is destruction to him, and his lips are a stumbling-block to his soul." And (Ibid. 21:23): "One who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from suffering."
וְאִם תֵּשֵׁב בַּחֲבוּרָה, טוֹב שֶׁיֹּאמְרוּ לְךָ: דַּבֵּר, מָה אַתָּה שׁוֹתֵק כָּל כָּךְ. מִמַּה שֶׁתִּהְיֶה מְדַבֵּר וְיִהְיוּ דְּבָרֶיךָ לָהֶם לְמַשָּׂא וְיֹאמְרוּ לְךָ: שְׁתֹק.
And if you are sitting in a company, it is better that they say to you: "Speak. Why are you so silent?" than that you speak and your words be so tedious to them that they say to you: "Be silent!"
וּכְתִיב: "מִשּׁוֹכֶבֶת חֵיקֶךָ שְׁמֹר פִּתְחֵי פִיךָ", וְרָמַז לָנוּ הַכָּתוּב שֶׁהַפֶּה הוּא בִּבְחִינַת פֶּתַח, וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁפֶּתַח הַבַּיִת יֵשׁ לוֹ עֵת לִפְתֹּחַ וְעֵת לִסְגֹר, דְּאִם יִהְיֶה פָּתוּחַ תָּמִיד, יִכְלֶה כָּל אֲשֶׁר בַּבַּיִת. כָּךְ פִּתְחֵי פִּיו, עֵת לְפָתְחָם לְדִבְרֵי תּוֹרָה וּשְׁאָרֵי דְּבָרִים הֶכְרֵחִים וְעֵת לְסָגְרָם לִשְׁאָרֵי דְּבָרִים.
And it is written (Michah 7:5): "From her who lies in your bosom, guard the doors of your mouth." Scripture has hereby intimated to us that the mouth is like a door. And just as the door of a house has a time to be open and a time to be closed (for if it is always open everything in the house will be lost), so the doors of your mouth have a time to be open — to words of Torah and other essential things, and a time to be closed — to other things.
וְצָרִיךְ שֶׁיֵּדַע הָאָדָם כִּי הַדִּבּוּר הוּא חָבִיב מִכָּל חָבִיב, כִּי בָּזֶה נִשְׁלֶמֶת לוֹ צוּרַת הָאָדָם.
And a man must know that speech is the "beloved of all the beloved," for through it the form of man is perfected.
עַל כֵּן כְּמוֹ מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ כֶּסֶף וְזָהָב וּמַרְגָלִיּוֹת, עוֹשֶׂה מִסְגֶּרֶת לְמִסְגֶּרֶת לְמִשְׁמַרְתָּם וְטוֹמְנָם בְּחַדְרוֹ הַפְּנִימִי בְּתוֹךְ הַתֵּבָה הַמְיֻחֶדֶת לָזֶה, כֵּן בְּיוֹתֵר מִזֶּה צָרִיךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת מִסְגֶּרֶת לְמִסְגֶּרֶת לְפִיו, וְהַיְנוּ בְּמִדַּת הַשְּׁתִיקָה וְכַנַּ "ל.
Therefore, just as one who has silver, gold, and pearls makes an enclosure within an enclosure to guard them and hides them in his innermost chamber in a special chest, so, even more, must he make an enclosure within an enclosure for his mouth; and that is, through the trait of silence.