The term "gossip" applies to anyone who tells anything that defames his companion, even though he speaks the truth, while one who speaks falsehood is called "one who brings forth an evil repute." A gossip who sits and says, "Thus and thus did so and so do? and thus and thus were his ancestors, and thus and thus did I hear concerning him," and he says shameful things — of him the Scriptures say, "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that speaketh proud things" (Ps. 12:4).
Our Rabbis, of blessed memory, said, "If one speaks gossip, it is as though he denied God" (Arakin 15b, and see T.P. Peah, 1:1). As it is said (Ps. 12:15), "Who have said : 'Our tongue will we make mighty : our lips are with us : who is lord over us?' " (Arakin 16b, and see T.P. Peah, 1:1). And therefore our Sages considered him as though he denied God, for he does a great evil to his companion, by making him odious in the eyes of the people and causing him other losses, though he himself derives no profit out of this. There is no doubt that one who makes a habit of speaking gossip has thrown off the yoke of Heaven from upon him, for he sins without any benefit to himself, and he is worse than a thief or an adulterer, for they pursue after their pleasure (Shohar Tov, 120:3). And there is no throwing off the yoke of Heaven as bad as when one deals in gossip. Our Sages further said, "The sin of gossip is weighed equally with the sin of idolatry and sexual immorality and bloodshed" (Arakin 15b). Now it is very astonishing that gossip should be equated with these sins, which are those to avoid which a man must rather let himself be killed than transgress (Sanh. 74a). And they said, "The sin of idolatry is so great that anyone who confesses to it, it is as though he denied the whole Torah" (Hullin 5a). And they said, "One who lusts after any form of idolatry, is a rebel against the whole Torah" (Hullin 4b).
And it is important to give the full meaning in this matter, for a gossip repeats his folly; ten times or more every day he humiliates and shames people, aside from the damage that he does to the one that he speaks against. And even a small transgression, when done many times, becomes great, just as although a single hair is soft and very weak, if you gather many hairs together, you can make of them a strong rope. And when they said that gossip is on a scale with those three mortal sins, they referred to one who commits any of these sins once, because of great temptation, but not to one who is such a complete apostate that he has excluded himself from the people of Israel, in order to commit these sins repeatedly. Moreover, a gossip finds it difficult to repent, because he is used to this habit and has taught his tongue to speak evil. Furthermore, this sin appears very light in his eyes, for he says, "I did not do anything — it was just talk." He does not consider the great damage he does, and therefore he does not repent. And even if he should repent, his repentance is not complete, for he does not realize the enormity of the sin which he has committed. Moreover, he must first obtain forgiveness from those against whom he has spoken, and he cannot remember whom they all are. And it may happen that he spoke against a man, and did him evil, and caused him harm and forgot what it was that he said about that man, for gossip is always covered up; it is a blow struck in secret. The gossiper is here and smites with his tongue a person who is far away from him (Arakin 15b, Gen. Rabbah 98:19). And this type of sinner is ashamed to let his victim know that he has done him evil. Sometimes he speaks about a defect in the family of the object of his gossip, thus injuring the generations that come after him, and there is no forgiveness for this, for our Sages said, "For one who speaks about a flaw in a family, there is no forgiveness eternally" (T.P. Baba Kamma 8:10).
Moreover, one who is accustomed to speak gossip will sometimes speak words against God, as it is written, "They have set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth" (Ps. 73:9). And there is no greater guilt in all of the sins than the guilt of him who blasphemes God. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "With ten trials were our ancestors tried, and in all them their fate was not sealed except for the sin of gossip" (Arakin 15a, Shohar Tov, 39a). As it is said, "As ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you" (Num. 14:28). And it says, "And the Lord heard the voice of your words and was wroth" (Deut. 1:34). And the Torah itself does not protect gossipers. Doeg the Edomite, as soon as he had spoken gossip, his wisdom did not avail him and all of his knowledge of the Torah did not protect him (Sotah 21a, Sanh. 106b).
As to that which our Sages said, that "One sin quenches a commandment, but one sin does not quench the whole Torah" (Sotah 21a), as it is said, "For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is a light" (Prov. 6:23) — this applies to one who commits a sin by chance, but not to one who completely throws off the yoke of warning against a sin. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "The congregation of Israel is beloved for its voice" (Shohar Tov, 39a), as it is said, "Let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice" (Cant. 2:14). And it is also hated for its voice, as it is said, "She hath uttered her voice against Me, therefore have I hated her" (Jer. 12:8). From this we can conclude that "life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). And it is said, "And those who love her will eat her fruit" (ibid.). This means that one who loves the tongue, that is to say a man who loves to speak constantly, it is worthy and true counsel to him that he should eat of its fruit. In other words, he should not speak idle talk, but should speak words of the Torah, or words that will bring peace, or words that will teach many to do good, and he should teach them the good and keep them far from evil, and to be zealous for the truth, for there is no end to the good deeds that a man may do with his tongue. And this is the meaning of "life and death are in the power of the tongue."
Gossips may be divided into six categories. The first is he who speaks evil of people and says, "Thus did they do," when in fact they did not do so, and at times he will slander an honorable and innocent person — in which case he is both a liar and a gossip. And we have been warned by the Torah not to accept gossip because it may be false, as it is said, "Thou shalt not utter a false report" (Ex. 23:1). And one who speaks gossip, will also be quick to accept gossip. And you should know that if one who hears gossip endorses what he has heard, then he is just as guilty as the gossiper. For all who hear that he agreed, will say, "Since he endorses it, it must be true." And even if he does not agree, but simply listens intently to the words, and appears to believe them, in the presence of people, he causes others to believe them too, and thus he helps the gossiper. For if he were to scold the gossiper, then he might restrain him from telling more, but since he pays attention and shows that he is interested, he causes him to speak even more gossip. And, behold, we have been warned by the verse, "Thou shalt not utter a false report" that we should not believe a gossip story in our hearts, for this would leave a strong imprint in our thoughts that the words are true and cause us to despise the object of the gossip.
The second category; he who speaks gossip that is true Even if he should remind another in private of some evil deed of his ancestors, he transgresses what is written in the Torah, "And ye shall not wrong one another" (Lev. 25:17); it is concerning wrongs done with words that the Scripture speaks (Baba Mezi'a 58b).
The third category of gossip is he who, in the presence of others, shames another because of something which his ancestors did. Concerning this our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "Everyone who causes the face of his companion to whiten (through shame) in public has no share in the world to come" (Aboth, 3:11).
The fourth category of gossip is this. If one publicly makes known the abominations of someone's ancestors, although not in the presence of the victim of the gossip, in order to shame him in the eyes of people — concerning this they said, "A group which speaks gossip cannot receive the Divine Presence" (Sotah 42a).
The fifth category is this. If the object of the gossip is a former sinner who has repented, and someone tells about the sins that he committed before he repented, in this there is great guilt (Baba Mezi'a 58b). "For one who repents of his wrongdoing, his sins now become merit" (T.P. Peah 1:1). And this gosiper shames him with sins that, through repentance, have become his merit. Moreover, he places a stumbling block before him for the victim may think in his heart, "Just as he shamed me so shall I shame him," and enter into a quarrel with him, with the result that he perverts his repentance and returns to his former state. Moreover, others who hear of this one's shame may be restrained from repenting their evil deeds, and thus the gossiper has locked the doors of repentance. And know, that if a man sees that his companion transgressed a commandment in secret and he reveals it in public, he is guilty of a sin, for perhaps the transgressor has repented of his evil way and did not want to admit it except to an understanding Sage who would not shame him, so that he could repent of his evil deed. But one should keep away from one who has done evil until he knows that his companion has repented of his evil way. And if the sinner is a scholar and a man who fears to commit a sin, it is proper to take it for granted that he has done repentance, and that if his evil inclination overcame him once he surely must have had remorse afterwards.
He who speaks gossip is punished not only for the injury he did to his fellow man but also for rejoicing in his shame, as it is written, "And you shall love your neighbour as yourself" (Lev. 19:18). Just as he loves his own honor, so should he love the honor of his companion, and it is written, "And he that is glad at calamity shall not be unpunished" (Prov. 17:5).
In a sense, the sin of one who gossips about something that is true is greater than that of one who tells false gossip. For when a man tells true things about another, people believe him and the victim remains contemptible in their eyes even after he has shown remorse and repented his sin; but as for false gossip, most people will understand that it is a lie and will not believe it. But, in general, falsehood carries a greater guilt than the truth.
The sixth category is he who gossips about community officials who are worthy and who collect funds honestly and apportion alms to those who revere God. He who slanders them, saying that they steal from the charity funds and show bias in favor of some recipients as against others, and distribute the alms to those they favor and to their own relatives — this is gossip in which the guilt is incalculable. For it causes officials to quit their posts and others, who are evil, to be chosen in their place with the result that the gossiper deprives the charity givers of an opportunity to do good and he robs the deserving poor, for the other collectors who are evil will have no mercy on the good. The consequence is that this gossiper has nullified the service of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and shamed the servants of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and their children and their relatives. For instead of fulfilling his duty to honor the officials, not only did he not honor them but he did evil to them. And he thus restrains other God-fearing people from being officials, for they think, "Why should we engage in an activity where people will suspect us, just as they suspected these others, who are God-fearing men?"
And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "Gossip slays three people — the one who speaks gossip, the one who listens to it and the one about whom the gossip is said" (Arakin 15b, and see T.P. Peah 1:1). And he who listens to the gossip is guiltier than he who speaks it. It is forbidden to dwell in the neighborhood of gossips, all the more so is it forbidden to sit with them and listen to their words.
There is another evil in gossip and that is that the one who speaks gossip against his companion feels proud and appears in his own eyes as a righteous person, for he thinks, "So and so did thus and thus, but I did not do anything like it." So we find that the gossip vaunts himself and claims merit for himself. Now if he did a good deed and claimed merit for it, that would be very bad, all the more so when he commits a great sin through gossip and claims merit for himself. And if a man speaks gossip against orphans or widows then his guilt is even greater — for they suffer affliction to begin with, and he causes them to suffer still more.
Come and see, how careful a man ought to be to guard himself against gossip. If a man says to his companion, "Where can I obtain fire?" And his companion answers, "Why in the house of so and so; he always has plenty of meat and fish." Even this is gossip! (Arakin 15b).
And there is another wrong which smacks of gossip — for example, where a person says, "Oh, better be silent about so and so; I don't want to say what I know about him!" — and so in all similar cases. And our Sages further said, "Let no man ever talk in praise of his neighbor, for through his praise he will come to disparage him" (Arakin 16a, and see Baba Bathra 164b). The meaning of this is: if you praise a man to his enemy, he will retort, "How can you praise him so much when he does this and this." And concerning this it is said, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him" (Prov. 27:14). But to praise a man before his friends is permitted, as we have learned, "Rabban Johanan the son of Zakkai had five (outstanding) disciples, and he used to recount their praises" (Aboth 2:8). Then, there is the one who speaks gossip by way of a joke or by way of frivolity (that is, he is not speaking out of hatred), and that is what Solomon said in his wisdom, "As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows and death; so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour and saith: "Am not I in sport?" (Prov. 26:18—19).
Then there is he who speaks gossip by way of deceit: he tells it with seeming innocence, as though he does not know that he is indulging in gossip, and when others rebuke him he says, "I really don't know whether so and so is guilty of these things." Or he says, "This may be merely gossip." One who speaks words that cause harm to his fellow man, whether it be to his body or to his money, even though it be to distress him or to frighten him, it is gossip. If a man says something to his companion, he is forbidden to reveal it without his permission (Yoma 4b). But anything which a man says in front of three people it is as though he intended it to be common knowledge and if one of the three who heard it told about it we cannot say that this is gossip (Arakin 15b). But if the teller intends to reveal more than he heard, then there is something of gossip in it. And if the speaker warns those who heard him not to reveal it, even though he speaks in the presence of many people, still if one of those who were warned does reveal it, it is a sort of gossip. There is a story about a certain pupil who revealed a thing that had been said in the house of study twenty-two years earlier and they drove him out of the house of study and they said, "This one is a revealer of secrets" (Sanh. 31a).
And there is another sin which is called tale-bearing. Now, who is a tale bearer? One who loads himself with stories about others and goes from one to another and says, "Thus did so and so say," and "Thus and thus did I hear about that one." Even though what he tells is true, this kind of thing destroys the world. And we have been warned about this, as it is written, "Thou shall not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people" (Lev. 19:16). And what is tale-bearing? One who reveals to another things that were said about him in secret, and we have learned (Sanh. 31a): "Whence do we know that when a judge comes out he must not say, 'I was for acquittal, while my colleagues were for condemnation; but what could I do, seeing that they were in the majority?' " Scripture states, "Thou shall not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people" (Lev. 19:16), and further, "He that goeth about as a tale-bearer revealeth secrets" (Prov. 11:13).
Be very careful concerning gossip for with this you shame yourself. For he who finds others unworthy is himself unworthy, and he does not speak in praise of anyone, and his way is to find people unworthy with the fault that he himself possesses (Kiddushin 70a).For this fault of his is constantly on his mind and when he gossips he expresses it with his mouth. For every man can be tested and recognized by his deeds. How? When you see a man who is accustomed to praise women and to speak of them always, know that he loves women. And if he praises good food and wine and does so constantly, know that he is a glutton and a drunkard And so is it with everything. And proof of this you may find in the verse, "Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day" (Ps. 119:97). Because I love the Torah, I always speak of it — since whatever a person loves in his heart, he lends to speak about always.
A gossip always seeks out the faults of people; he is like the flies who always rest on the dirty spot. If a man has boils, the flies will let the rest of the body go and sit on the boil. And thus it is with a gossip. He overlooks all the good in a man and speaks only of the evil. There is a story about a certain man who went with a wise man in the field, and they saw a corpse. The man said, "How putrid this corpse is." And the wise man said, "How white are its teeth." Thus the wise man rebuked his companion and said in effect, "Why must you speak about its blemish; speak of its excellence, for one should always speak in commendation of the world."
If you see a man who speaks a word or does a deed which can be interpreted either favorably or unfavorably, then if he is a man who reveres God you are obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if the unfavorable interpretation appears more likely. And if he is an ordinary person who guards himself from sin, but occasionally stumbles, it is still your duty to put doubt aside and decide his favor. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said: "He who judges his neighbor in the scale of merit is himself judged favorably" (Shabbath 127b). And this is a positive commandment in the Torah, as it is said, "But in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbor" (Lev. 19:15). And if the matter inclines to the unfavorable interpretation, let it be with you as though there were a doubt and do not judge the man unfavorably. But if the man's deeds for the most part are evil, and you know that he is not one who reveres God in his heart, then you should put the unfavorable interpretation on his deeds and words.
If a man revealed your sin, do not say, "Just as he revealed my sin, I will now reveal his sin," As it is said, "Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge" (Lev. 19:18). Neither may you boast and say, "Even though he has revealed my sin, I will not reveal his," for by so speaking you have already revealed the half of it. And this matter is a very great principle in the whole concept of reverence of God. But if the one who sins does not fear God then he is as one who throws off the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven from upon him, and if he does not guard himself against a single transgression which all the people of the city know to be a sin, then one does well to speak evil of him and to reveal his sins and to cause the sinner, to be odious in the eyes of the people, in order that the people may hear and despise him and set themselves apart from transgressions, as it is said, "An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous" (Prov. 29:27). And it is said, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil" (Prov. 8:13). And they said, a wicked man who is the son of a righteous man may be called "a wicked man, son of the wicked," while a righteous man who is the son of a wicked man may be called "a righteous man, son of the righteous" — and precisely in this way is it permitted to shame him for the sake of Heaven. But a man who quarrels with another and intends to shame him for his own satisfaction and not for the sake of Heaven, may not reveal his sin (Sanh. 52a). And similarly if the one who reveals the transgression of his companion is himself a sinner, he should not reveal the wrong of another sinner, for he certainly is not revealing the secrets of the sinner for a good purpose. "But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury" (Prov. 14:23).
There are a few instance where it is commendable to engage in gossip. For example, in the case of two wicked men who have taken counsel to do evil, it is permitted, by gossip, to make them hate each other and do evil to one another, in order that they do not do evil to good people. And so is it with an adulterer who is pursuing an adultress, it is a good deed to gossip about them so that they should not commit the transgression. And there are times when even though the sinner is a completely wicked person it still is not proper to shame him in public — when there is the danger that this will cause him to become an unbeliever. It is permissible to use gossip against people who are always starting quarrels, as it is said, "I also will come in after thee, and confirm thy words" (I Kings 1:14) (See T.P. Peah 1:1).
Because so many things depend upon the tongue, it is necessary to guard the tongue very much. And therefore David said, "Keep thy tongue from evil" (Ps. 34:14). And our Sages, of blessed memory, recounted a story about a certain man who cried out in the streets, "Who wants to purchase the elixir of life?" Everybody came to buy. He then took out the Book of Psalms and showed them what was written in it: "Who is the man that desireth life and loveth days, that he may see good therein? Keep thy tongue from evil" (Ps. 34:13—14). And when Rabbi Yannai saw this, he took this man into his house and he fed him and he gave him drink and money. The pupils of Rabbi Yannai came to him and said to him, "Did you not know this verse before?" And he said to them, "I did know it — but I never put it in my heart to be careful concerning this. When I used to read this verse I would go over it hastily and did not realize its full meaning. And now this man came and made it mean something to me, and from now on I shall be more careful with my tongue" (Lev. Rabbah 16:2; Shohar Tov, 52b).
Therefore, a man whose tongue is accustomed to flatter, to scoff, to gossip, to lie, to indulge in idle talk — and who now wishes to subdue this impulse and put up a strong fence against this vice — such a man should make a fence by keeping apart from his original companions with whom he used to indulge in scoffing and flattery and gossip and lies. For if he should again draw close to them, he will not be able to restrain himself from this sin, for they will begin to speak with him as they were accustomed to do and then he will not be able to restrain himself from speaking with them as he was accustomed to do. And such a man should accustom himself severely to silence in order to develop the habit of opening his mouth very little, and he often should sit by himself in a room and occupy himself with Torah and he should join the company of the pious who speak only of the Torah and of reverence of God. And in this manner he should accustom himself to do for a long time and then he will find healing for his wound.
It is written, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that indulge it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Prov. 18:21). There is a story about a king of Persia who became ill, and the doctors said to him, "You cannot be healed until they bring you the milk of a lioness and then we will make you a medicine that will heal you." One of the men present said, "I will bring you the milk of a lioness if you wish, but give me ten goats." The king told his servants to give them to him, and they did so. He went to a pit of lions and there was a lioness there who was giving suck to her young. The first day he stood far off and threw one goat to the lioness and she ate it. The second day he came closer to her a bit and threw her another goat, and thus did he do until he was able to play with the lioness, and he took some of her milk and started back. As he was travelling along the way, he saw in a dream that his limbs were quarrelling with one another. The leg said, "There are no limbs like us, for if we had not gone our master would not have been able to bring the milk." Then the hand said, "There is no one like us, for if we had not done our part, nothing would have happened." The brain said, "There is no one like me! If I had not given counsel, of what use would any of you have been?" Then the tongue said, "There is nobody like me. For if I had not said that we would do this thing, who would have done it?" All the limbs answered, "How dare you compare yourself with us? You are in a place of darkness, and you possess no bone like the rest of the limbs." And the tongue replied to them, "This day will you say that I rule over all of you."
The man kept the dream in mind. He went to the king and he said to him, "My lord, the king, here is the milk of a bitch." The king got very angry and ordered that the man be hanged. As he was about to be hanged, all the limbs began to weep. Whereupon the tongue said to them, "Did I not tell you that you are not worth anything? If I save you, will you confess that I am king over all of you?" And they said to her, "Yes!" Then the man said to the executioners, "Take me back to the king, perhaps I can be saved." So they returned the man to the king, and the man asked, "Why did you order that I be hanged?" And the king said, "Because you brought me the milk of a bitch." The man said, "What difference does it make as long as you are healed? And moreover, a lioness is often called a bitch. They took the milk from him and tested it and it was found to be the milk of a lioness. Then all of the limbs said to the tongue, "Now we confess to you that you are king." And this is the meaning of the saying, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Therefore David said (Ps. 39:2), "I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue" (Shohar Tov, 39:2—3, and Yalkut Tehillim, item 721).
See how the tongue is better than sacrifices, for it is said, "I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanksgiving. And it shall please the Lord better than a bullock that hath horns and hoofs" (Ps. 69:31—32).
You must consider well and distinguish clearly this matter of the tongue, because all the affairs of a man, whether for evil or for good, depend upon it. With his tongue, a man can commit great and mighty transgressions without number, such as informing, tale-bearing, scoffing, flattery, lies, and the like. And all of these great transgressions bring no profit to the owner of the tongue. And with his tongue a man can also do precepts without limit. And there are many people who say, "How can we do a good deed? We do not have money which we can give to the poor." They do not know that the source of the precepts is very near to them — the source of life in this world and in the world-to-come, and that is the tongue. And thus did David say, "Who wishes to acquire the life of this world and of the world to come?" And they said to them, "No one can stay in both worlds." Then he said to them, "It is very cheap," as it is written, "Who is the man that desireth life" (Ps. 34:13). They said to him, "Who is the one that can acquire life?" And he said to them (Ps. 34:14), "Keep thy tongue from evil" (Shohar Tov, 39:4; and see Abodah Zarah 19b).
A man should accustom himself to speak words of Torah and of reverence of God and to reprove people, and to command his sons ofter him to observe and to do (the commandments) — to comfort the mourners, to comfort the poor, to speak to their hearts good words of consolation, to speak the truth, and to accustom oneself to pray with songs and praises — and then he will be beloved below and dearly beloved above, and his reward will be in the great good which is treasured up for the righteous.
שַׁעַר הָעֶשְׂרִים וַחֲמִשָּׁה – שַׁעַר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע
Chapter Twenty Five: ON GOSSIP
לָשׁוֹן הָרַע מַהוּ? הַמְסַפֵּר בִּגְנוּתוֹ שֶׁל חֲבֵרוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאוֹמֵר אֱמֶת. אֲבָל הָאוֹמֵר שֶׁקֶר נִקְרָא ״מוֹצִיא שֵׁם רַע״. בַּעַל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע זֶה שֶׁיּוֹשֵׁב וְאוֹמֵר: ״כָּךְ וְכָךְ עָשָׂה פְּלוֹנִי, כָּךְ וְכָךְ הָיוּ אֲבוֹתָיו, כָּךְ וְכָךְ שָׁמַעְתִּי עָלָיו״, וְאוֹמֵר דְּבָרִים שֶׁל גְּנַאי. עָלָיו הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר (תהלים יב ד): ״יַכְרֵת יְיָ כָּל שִׂפְתֵי חֲלָקוֹת, לָשׁוֹן מְדַבֶּרֶת גְּדוֹלוֹת״.
The term "gossip" applies to anyone who tells anything that defames his companion, even though he speaks the truth, while one who speaks falsehood is called "one who brings forth an evil repute." A gossip who sits and says, "Thus and thus did so and so do? and thus and thus were his ancestors, and thus and thus did I hear concerning him," and he says shameful things — of him the Scriptures say, "May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that speaketh proud things" (Ps. 12:4).
וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה: כָּל הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע כְּאִלּוּ כָּפַר בָּעִקָּר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים יב ה): ״אֲשֶׁר אָמְרוּ לִלְשֹׁנֵנוּ נַגְבִּיר, שְׂפָתֵינוּ אִתָּנוּ, מִי אָדוֹן לָנוּ״. וּלְכָךְ לָשׁוֹן הָרַע הוּא חֵטְא, כִּי הוּא עוֹשֶׂה רָעָה גְּדוֹלָה לַחֲבֵרוֹ, שֶׁהוּא מַבְאִישׁ רֵיחוֹ בְּעֵינֵי הָעָם וּשְׁאָר הֶפְסֵדוֹת, וְאֵין רֶוַח לְבַעַל הַלָּשׁוֹן. וּבְוַדַּאי הָרָגִיל בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע פּוֹרֵק עֹל שָׁמַיִם מֵעָלָיו, כִּי הוּא חוֹטֵא בְּלִי הֲנָאָה. וְהוּא רַע יוֹתֵר מִגַּנָּב וְנוֹאֵף, שֶׁהֵם רוֹדְפִים אַחַר הֲנָאָתָם, וְאֵין פְּרִיקַת עֹל כְּמוֹ לָשׁוֹן הָרַע (שוחר טוב קכ). וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה שֶׁשְּׁקוּלָה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע כְּנֶגֶד עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, וְגִלּוּי עֲרָיוֹת, וּשְׁפִיכַת דָּמִים. וְדָבָר זֶה תֵּמַהּ מְאוֹד, שֶׁשְּׁקוּלָה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע כְּנֶגֶד אֵלּוּ הָעֲבֵרוֹת, וְעַל כָּל אַחַת מֵהֶן יֵהָרֵג וְאַל יַעֲבֹר (סנהדרין עד א). וְאָמְרוּ: חֲמוּרָה עֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, שֶׁכָּל הַכּוֹפֵר בָּהּ כְּמוֹדֶה בְּכָל הַתּוֹרָה כֻּלָּהּ (חולין ה א). וְאָמְרוּ עוֹד (חולין ד ב): מוּמָר לַעֲבוֹדָה זָרָה – מוּמָר לְכָל הַתּוֹרָה כֻּלָּהּ.
Our Rabbis, of blessed memory, said, "If one speaks gossip, it is as though he denied God" (Arakin 15b, and see T.P. Peah, 1:1). As it is said (Ps. 12:15), "Who have said : 'Our tongue will we make mighty : our lips are with us : who is lord over us?' " (Arakin 16b, and see T.P. Peah, 1:1). And therefore our Sages considered him as though he denied God, for he does a great evil to his companion, by making him odious in the eyes of the people and causing him other losses, though he himself derives no profit out of this. There is no doubt that one who makes a habit of speaking gossip has thrown off the yoke of Heaven from upon him, for he sins without any benefit to himself, and he is worse than a thief or an adulterer, for they pursue after their pleasure (Shohar Tov, 120:3). And there is no throwing off the yoke of Heaven as bad as when one deals in gossip. Our Sages further said, "The sin of gossip is weighed equally with the sin of idolatry and sexual immorality and bloodshed" (Arakin 15b). Now it is very astonishing that gossip should be equated with these sins, which are those to avoid which a man must rather let himself be killed than transgress (Sanh. 74a). And they said, "The sin of idolatry is so great that anyone who confesses to it, it is as though he denied the whole Torah" (Hullin 5a). And they said, "One who lusts after any form of idolatry, is a rebel against the whole Torah" (Hullin 4b).
וְיֵשׁ לִתֵּן טַעַם בַּדָּבָר: כִּי בַּעַל הַלָּשׁוֹן שׁוֹנֶה בְּאִוַּלְתּוֹ עֶשֶׂר פְּעָמִים וְיוֹתֵר, בְּכָל יוֹם מַכְלִים וּמְבַיֵּשׁ בְּנֵי אָדָם, מִלְּבַד מָה שֶׁמַּזִּיק לְמִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר עָלָיו. וַאֲפִילּוּ עֲבֵרָה קַלָּה, כְּשֶׁאָדָם עוֹבֵר עָלֶיהָ כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים – הִיא נַעֲשֵׂית גְּדוֹלָה. כִּי אֲפִלּוּ שֵׂעָר אֶחָד, שֶׁהוּא רַךְ וְחַלָּשׁ מְאוֹד, כְּשֶׁתְּקַבֵּץ הַרְבֵּה שְׂעָרוֹת יַחַד – תַּעֲשֶׂה מֵהֶם חֶבֶל חָזָק. וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ שֶׁשְּׁקוּלָה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע נֶגֶד אוֹתָן שָׁלוֹשׁ עֲבֵרוֹת, הַפֵּרוּשׁ: שֶׁעוֹבֵר עַל אוֹתָן שָׁלוֹשׁ עֲבֵרוֹת פַּעַם אַחַת מֵחֲמַת רֹב הַיֵּצֶר, וְלֹא כְּנֶגֶד הַמְּשֻׁמָּד הַיֹּצֵא מִן הַכְּלָל לַעֲבֹר עֲלֵיהֶם בְּכָל עֵת. וְעוֹד בַּעַל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע קָשֶׁה לוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה: כֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא רָגִיל בְּכָךְ וְלִמֵּד לְשׁוֹנוֹ לְדָבָר רַע. וְעוֹד הַחֵטְא קַל בְּעֵינָיו, כִּי אָמַר: ״לֹא עָשִׂיתִי רַק דִּבּוּר בְּעָלְמָא!״ וְאֵינוֹ נוֹתֵן לֵב לָשׁוּב לְרֹב הַנֶּזֶק שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם יָשׁוּב אֵין תְּשׁוּבָתוֹ שְׁלֵמָה, כִּי אֵינוֹ מַכִּיר גֹּדֶל הַחֵטְא אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה. וְהוּא צָרִיךְ מְחִילָה מֵאוֹתָן שֶׁדִּבֵּר עֲלֵיהֶם, וְהוּא אֵינוֹ זוֹכֵר מִי הֵם כֻּלָּם. וְעוֹד יֵשׁ שֶׁדִּבֵּר עָלָיו וְעָשָׂה לוֹ רָעָה, וְהִזִּיק לוֹ לְאוֹתוֹ אָדָם, וְשָׁכַח מָה דִּבֵּר עָלָיו, כִּי לָשׁוֹן הָרַע מְכֻסֶּה וּמַכֶּה בַּסֵּתֶר, הוּא בְּכָאן וּמַכֶּה אֶחָד בִּלְשׁוֹנוֹ שֶׁרָחוֹק מִמֶּנּוּ (ערכין טו ב), וְזֶה הַחוֹטֵא מִתְבַּיֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ לְהוֹדִיעַ שֶׁגְּמָלוֹ רָעָה. וּפְעָמִים יְדַבֵּר עַל פְּגַם מִשְׁפָּחָה, וְיַזִּיק לַדּוֹרוֹת הַבָּאִים אַחֲרָיו; וְאֵין לוֹ מְחִילָה לָזֶה, כִּי אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ירושלמי בבא קמא ח ז): הַמְדַבֵּר בִּפְגַם מִשְׁפָּחָה – אֵין לוֹ מְחִילָה עוֹלָמִית.
And it is important to give the full meaning in this matter, for a gossip repeats his folly; ten times or more every day he humiliates and shames people, aside from the damage that he does to the one that he speaks against. And even a small transgression, when done many times, becomes great, just as although a single hair is soft and very weak, if you gather many hairs together, you can make of them a strong rope. And when they said that gossip is on a scale with those three mortal sins, they referred to one who commits any of these sins once, because of great temptation, but not to one who is such a complete apostate that he has excluded himself from the people of Israel, in order to commit these sins repeatedly. Moreover, a gossip finds it difficult to repent, because he is used to this habit and has taught his tongue to speak evil. Furthermore, this sin appears very light in his eyes, for he says, "I did not do anything — it was just talk." He does not consider the great damage he does, and therefore he does not repent. And even if he should repent, his repentance is not complete, for he does not realize the enormity of the sin which he has committed. Moreover, he must first obtain forgiveness from those against whom he has spoken, and he cannot remember whom they all are. And it may happen that he spoke against a man, and did him evil, and caused him harm and forgot what it was that he said about that man, for gossip is always covered up; it is a blow struck in secret. The gossiper is here and smites with his tongue a person who is far away from him (Arakin 15b, Gen. Rabbah 98:19). And this type of sinner is ashamed to let his victim know that he has done him evil. Sometimes he speaks about a defect in the family of the object of his gossip, thus injuring the generations that come after him, and there is no forgiveness for this, for our Sages said, "For one who speaks about a flaw in a family, there is no forgiveness eternally" (T.P. Baba Kamma 8:10).
וְעוֹד: מִי שֶׁהוּא רָגִיל בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע פְּעָמִים יְדַבֵּר דְּבָרִים כְּלַפֵּי מַעְלָה, דִּכְתִיב (תהלים עג ט): ״שַׁתּוּ בַשָּׁמַיִם פִּיהֶם, וּלְשׁוֹנָם תִּהֲלַךְ בָּאָרֶץ״. וְאֵין בְּכָל עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ עֹנֶשׁ עֲלֵיהֶם כְּמוֹ מִי שֶׁמֵּטִיחַ דְּבָרִים כְּלַפֵּי מַעְלָה, כִּי אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ערכין טו א): עֲשָׂרָה נִסְיוֹנוֹת נִסּוּ אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, וּבְכֻלָּם לֹא נֶחְתַּם גְּזַר דִּינָם אֶלָּא עַל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (במדבר יד כח): ״אִם לֹא כַּאֲשֶׁר דִּבַּרְתֶּם בְּאָזְנָי – כֵּן אֶעֱשֶׂה לָכֶם״; וְאוֹמֵר (דברים א לד): ״וַיִּשְׁמַע יְיָ אֶת קוֹל דִּבְרֵיכֶם, וַיִּקְצֹף וַיִּשָּׁבַע״. וְאֵין הַתּוֹרָה מְגִנָּה עַל בַּעֲלֵי לָשׁוֹן הָרַע: דּוֹאֵג הָאֲדוֹמִי, כֵּיוָן שֶׁסִּפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע – לֹא עָמְדָה לוֹ חָכְמָתוֹ, וְלֹא הֵגֵנָּה עָלָיו תּוֹרָתוֹ (סוטה כא א).
Moreover, one who is accustomed to speak gossip will sometimes speak words against God, as it is written, "They have set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth" (Ps. 73:9). And there is no greater guilt in all of the sins than the guilt of him who blasphemes God. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "With ten trials were our ancestors tried, and in all them their fate was not sealed except for the sin of gossip" (Arakin 15a, Shohar Tov, 39a). As it is said, "As ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you" (Num. 14:28). And it says, "And the Lord heard the voice of your words and was wroth" (Deut. 1:34). And the Torah itself does not protect gossipers. Doeg the Edomite, as soon as he had spoken gossip, his wisdom did not avail him and all of his knowledge of the Torah did not protect him (Sotah 21a, Sanh. 106b).
וּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (סוטה שם): עֲבֵרָה מְכַבָּה מִצְוָה, וְאֵין עֲבֵרָה מְכַבָּה תּוֹרָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״כִּי נֵר מִצְוָה וְתוֹרָה אוֹר״ (משלי ו כג) – עַל הָעוֹבֵר דֶּרֶךְ מִקְרֶה אָמְרוּ, וְלֹא עַל הַפּוֹרֵק עַל אַזְהָרַת עֲבֵרָה. אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (שוחר טוב לט א): כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲהוּבָה בְּקוֹלָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שיר השירים ב יד): ״הַשְׁמִיעֵנִי אֶת קוֹלֵךְ, כִּי קוֹלֵךְ עָרֵב״; וּשְׂנוּאָה בְּקוֹלָהּ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיהו יב ח): ״נָתְנָה עָלַי בְּקוֹלָהּ – עַל כֵּן שְׂנֵאתִיהָ״. אֱמֹר מֵעַתָּה (משלי יח כא): ״מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן, וְאוֹהֲבֶיהָ יֹאכַל פִּרְיָהּ״; פֵּרוּשׁ ״אוֹהֵב הַלָּשׁוֹן״ – אָדָם הֶחָפֵץ לְדַבֵּר תָּמִיד, עֵצָה הֲגוּנָה וּנְכוֹנָה אֶצְלוֹ שֶׁיֹּאכַל פִּרְיָהּ, פֵּרוּשׁ: שֶׁלֹּא יְדַבֵּר דְּבָרִים בְּטֵלִים. רַק יְדַבֵּר בְּדִבְרֵי תוֹרָה וַהֲבָאַת שָׁלוֹם, וּלְלַמֵּד לָרַבִּים לַעֲשׂוֹת טוֹבָה, וּלְהוֹרוֹת לָהֶם הַטּוֹב וּלְהַרְחִיקָם מִן הָרַע, וְלִקְנוֹת הָאֱמֶת. כִּי אֵין קֵץ לַמִּצְווֹת שֶׁיּוּכַל לַעֲשׂוֹת בַּלָּשׁוֹן, וְזֶהוּ: ״מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן״.
As to that which our Sages said, that "One sin quenches a commandment, but one sin does not quench the whole Torah" (Sotah 21a), as it is said, "For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is a light" (Prov. 6:23) — this applies to one who commits a sin by chance, but not to one who completely throws off the yoke of warning against a sin. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "The congregation of Israel is beloved for its voice" (Shohar Tov, 39a), as it is said, "Let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice" (Cant. 2:14). And it is also hated for its voice, as it is said, "She hath uttered her voice against Me, therefore have I hated her" (Jer. 12:8). From this we can conclude that "life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). And it is said, "And those who love her will eat her fruit" (ibid.). This means that one who loves the tongue, that is to say a man who loves to speak constantly, it is worthy and true counsel to him that he should eat of its fruit. In other words, he should not speak idle talk, but should speak words of the Torah, or words that will bring peace, or words that will teach many to do good, and he should teach them the good and keep them far from evil, and to be zealous for the truth, for there is no end to the good deeds that a man may do with his tongue. And this is the meaning of "life and death are in the power of the tongue."
כַּת מְסַפְּרֵי לָשׁוֹן הָרַע נֶחֱלֶקֶת לְשִׁשָּׁה חֲלָקִים: הָאֶחָד: מִי שֶׁהוּא אוֹמֵר רַע עַל בְּנֵי אָדָם, שֶׁכֵּן עָשׂוּ לוֹ. וְלִפְעָמִים יֹאמַר דֹּפִי עַל אָדָם כָּשֵׁר וְנָקִי – אָז הוּא מְשַׁקֵּר וְגַם מְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. וְהֻזְהַרְנוּ מִן הַתּוֹרָה שֶׁלֹּא לְקַבֵּל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. וְדַע: כַּאֲשֶׁר יוֹדֶה הַשּׁוֹמֵעַ עַל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע – אָז הוּא כְּמוֹ מְסַפֵּר, כִּי כָּל הַשּׁוֹמְעִים שֶׁהוּא מוֹדֶה יֹאמְרוּ: כֵּיוָן שֶׁהוּא מוֹדֶה, אִם כֵּן אֱמֶת הוּא הַדָּבָר. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם לֹא יוֹדֶה אֶלָּא שׁוֹמֵעַ וּמַרְאֶה עַצְמוֹ כְּמַקְשִׁיב אֶל הַדְּבָרִים וּמַאֲמִין בִּדְבָרִים בִּפְנֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם – בָּזֶה יַאֲמִינוּ גַּם אֲחֵרִים. וְהוּא מְסַיֵּעַ לַמְּסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע, כִּי אִם הָיָה גּוֹעֵר בַּמְּסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע – הָיָה מוֹנֵעַ עַצְמוֹ מִלְּסַפֵּר לוֹ יוֹתֵר. אֲבָל עַתָּה שֶׁהוּא מַקְשִׁיב וּמַרְאֶה לוֹ פָּנִים – אָז גּוֹרֵם לוֹ לְדַבֵּר יוֹתֵר. וְהִזְהִירָנוּ בְּמִצְוַת לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה (שמות כג א): ״לֹא תִשָּׂא שֵׁמַע שָׁוְא״ – שֶׁלֹּא נַאֲמִין סִפּוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע בִּלְבָבֵנוּ, לְהַחֲזִיק בְּמַחְשְׁבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁהַדְּבָרִים אֱמֶת, וּלְהַבְזוֹת בְּעֵינֵינוּ אֶת מִי שֶׁנֶּאֶמְרוּ עָלָיו.
Gossips may be divided into six categories. The first is he who speaks evil of people and says, "Thus did they do," when in fact they did not do so, and at times he will slander an honorable and innocent person — in which case he is both a liar and a gossip. And we have been warned by the Torah not to accept gossip because it may be false, as it is said, "Thou shalt not utter a false report" (Ex. 23:1). And one who speaks gossip, will also be quick to accept gossip. And you should know that if one who hears gossip endorses what he has heard, then he is just as guilty as the gossiper. For all who hear that he agreed, will say, "Since he endorses it, it must be true." And even if he does not agree, but simply listens intently to the words, and appears to believe them, in the presence of people, he causes others to believe them too, and thus he helps the gossiper. For if he were to scold the gossiper, then he might restrain him from telling more, but since he pays attention and shows that he is interested, he causes him to speak even more gossip. And, behold, we have been warned by the verse, "Thou shalt not utter a false report" that we should not believe a gossip story in our hearts, for this would leave a strong imprint in our thoughts that the words are true and cause us to despise the object of the gossip.
הַשֵּׁנִי: כְּשֶׁאָמַר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע שֶׁהוּא אֱמֶת, אִם יִזְכֹּר לוֹ בֵּינוֹ וּבֵינוֹ מַעֲשֵׂה אֲבוֹתָיו הָרָעִים, עוֹבֵר עַל מָה שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה (ויקרא כה יד): ״לֹא תוֹנוּ אִישׁ אֶת עֲמִיתוֹ״ – בְּאוֹנָאַת דְּבָרִים הַכָּתוּב מְדַבֵּר (בבא מציעא נח ב).
The second category; he who speaks gossip that is true Even if he should remind another in private of some evil deed of his ancestors, he transgresses what is written in the Torah, "And ye shall not wrong one another" (Lev. 25:17); it is concerning wrongs done with words that the Scripture speaks (Baba Mezi'a 58b).
הַשְּׁלִישִׁי: אִם יַכְלִים אוֹתוֹ בִּפְנֵי אֲחֵרִים עַל מַעֲשֵׂה אֲבוֹתָיו, עַל זֶה אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (אבות ג יא): כָּל הַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים – אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.
The third category of gossip is he who, in the presence of others, shames another because of something which his ancestors did. Concerning this our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "Everyone who causes the face of his companion to whiten (through shame) in public has no share in the world to come" (Aboth, 3:11).
הָרְבִיעִי: אִם הוּא מוֹדִיעַ תּוֹעֲבוֹת אֲבוֹתָיו בִּפְנֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא בְּפָנָיו, לְבַיְּשׁוֹ בְּעֵינֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם, עַל זֶה אָמְרוּ: כַּת מְסַפְּרֵי לָשׁוֹן הָרָע – אֵין מְקַבְּלִים פְּנֵי הַשְּׁכִינָה (סוטה מב א).
The fourth category of gossip is this. If one publicly makes known the abominations of someone's ancestors, although not in the presence of the victim of the gossip, in order to shame him in the eyes of people — concerning this they said, "A group which speaks gossip cannot receive the Divine Presence" (Sotah 42a).
הַחֲמִישִׁי: אִם הוּא בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה וּמְסַפֵּר עָלָיו עֲווֹנוֹת רִאשׁוֹנִים, בָּזֶה יֵשׁ לוֹ עֹנֶשׁ גָּדוֹל (בבא מציעא נח ב), כִּי הַשָּׁב מֵעֲוֹנֹתָיו – עֲווֹנוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ נַעֲשִׂים כִּזְכוּיוֹת (ירושלמי פאה א א), וְזֶה מְבַיְּשׁוֹ בַּעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁהֵם זְכוּיוֹת. וְעוֹד: הוּא נוֹתֵן מִכְשׁוֹל לְפָנָיו, כִּי מְחַשֵּׁב בְּלִבּוֹ: כְּמוֹ שֶׁמְּבַיְּשֵׁנִי, גַּם אֲנִי אֲבַיְּשֶׁנּוּ, וְיִכָּנֵס עִמּוֹ בְּמַחֲלֹקֶת, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ יִתְקַלְקֵל בִּתְשׁוּבָתוֹ וְיַחֲזֹר לָעִנְיָן הָרִאשׁוֹן. וְעוֹד: אֲחֵרִים הַשּׁוֹמְעִים הַבֹּשֶׁת שֶׁל זֶה יִמָּנְעוּ וְלֹא יַעֲשׂוּ תְּשׁוּבָה, נִמְצָא שֶׁזֶּה נוֹעֵל דַּלְתֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה. וְדַע: שֶׁאִם יִרְאֶה אִישׁ שֶׁחֲבֵרוֹ עָבַר עַל דְּבַר תּוֹרָה בַּסֵּתֶר, וְהוּא גִּלָּה לָרַבִּים – יֵשׁ לוֹ חֵטְא בָּזֶה, כִּי אוּלַי הַחוֹטֵא שָׁב מִדַּרְכּוֹ הָרָעָה. וְלֹא הָיָה לוֹ לְגַלּוֹת אֶלָּא לְחָכָם צָנוּעַ, שֶׁלֹּא יְבַיְּשֶׁנּוּ, רַק הַרְחֵק יַרְחִיק מֵחֶבְרָתוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּוָּדַע כִּי שָׁב מִדַּרְכּוֹ הָרָעָה. וְאִם הַחוֹטֵא תַּלְמִיד חָכָם אִישׁ יְרֵא חֵטְא, רָאוּי לַחֲשֹׁב עָלָיו בְּבֵרוּר שֶׁעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה, וְאִם תְּקָפוֹ יִצְרוֹ פַּעַם אַחַת – נִתְחָרֵט אַחַר כֵּן.
The fifth category is this. If the object of the gossip is a former sinner who has repented, and someone tells about the sins that he committed before he repented, in this there is great guilt (Baba Mezi'a 58b). "For one who repents of his wrongdoing, his sins now become merit" (T.P. Peah 1:1). And this gosiper shames him with sins that, through repentance, have become his merit. Moreover, he places a stumbling block before him for the victim may think in his heart, "Just as he shamed me so shall I shame him," and enter into a quarrel with him, with the result that he perverts his repentance and returns to his former state. Moreover, others who hear of this one's shame may be restrained from repenting their evil deeds, and thus the gossiper has locked the doors of repentance. And know, that if a man sees that his companion transgressed a commandment in secret and he reveals it in public, he is guilty of a sin, for perhaps the transgressor has repented of his evil way and did not want to admit it except to an understanding Sage who would not shame him, so that he could repent of his evil deed. But one should keep away from one who has done evil until he knows that his companion has repented of his evil way. And if the sinner is a scholar and a man who fears to commit a sin, it is proper to take it for granted that he has done repentance, and that if his evil inclination overcame him once he surely must have had remorse afterwards.
הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע נֶעֱנָשׁ מִן הַנֶּזֶק שֶׁהִזִּיק לַחֲבֵרוֹ, וְעוֹד יֵשׁ עֹנֶשׁ שֶׁשָּׂמֵחַ בִּקְלוֹן חֲבֵרוֹ. וּכְתִיב (ויקרא יט יח): ״וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ״. וּכְמוֹ שֶׁאוֹהֵב בִּכְבוֹד עַצְמוֹ – כֵּן יֹאהַב בִּכְבוֹד חֲבֵרוֹ. וּכְתִיב (משלי יז ה): ״שָׂמֵחַ לְאֵיד לֹא יִנָּקֶה״.
He who speaks gossip is punished not only for the injury he did to his fellow man but also for rejoicing in his shame, as it is written, "And you shall love your neighbour as yourself" (Lev. 19:18). Just as he loves his own honor, so should he love the honor of his companion, and it is written, "And he that is glad at calamity shall not be unpunished" (Prov. 17:5).
יֵשׁ צַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה עָווֹן גָּדוֹל עַל הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע שֶׁהוּא אֱמֶת, יוֹתֵר מִן הַמְסַפֵּר עַל דֶּרֶךְ שֶׁהוּא שֶׁקֶר: כִּי כְּשֶׁאָדָם מְסַפֵּר דְּבָרִים כֵּנִים עַל חֲבֵרוֹ – יַאֲמִינוּ לוֹ, וְיִהְיֶה לְבֹשֶׁת בְּעֵינֵיהֶם אַחַר שֶׁנִּתְחָרֵט וְעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה עַל חַטָּאתוֹ. אֲבָל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל דֶּרֶךְ שֶׁקֶר – יָבִינוּ כָּל הָעוֹלָם שֶׁהוּא שֶׁקֶר וְלֹא יַאֲמִינוּ. אֲבָל לְעוֹלָם רֹב עִנְיְנֵי הַשֶּׁקֶר יֵשׁ בּוֹ עֹנֶשׁ יוֹתֵר מִן הָאֱמֶת.
In a sense, the sin of one who gossips about something that is true is greater than that of one who tells false gossip. For when a man tells true things about another, people believe him and the victim remains contemptible in their eyes even after he has shown remorse and repented his sin; but as for false gossip, most people will understand that it is a lie and will not believe it. But, in general, falsehood carries a greater guilt than the truth.
הַשִּׁשִּׁי: הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל הַגַּבָּאִים, שֶׁהֵם כְּשֵׁרִים וְגוֹבִים בֶּאֱמוּנָה וּמְחַלְּקִים לְיִרְאֵי שָׁמַיִם. הַמְסַפְּרִים לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עֲלֵיהֶם שֶׁהֵם גּוֹנְבִים הַצְּדָקָה, וְנוֹשְׂאִים פָּנִים וְנוֹתְנִים לְמִי שֶׁהֵם רוֹצִים וְלִקְרוֹבֵיהֶן – זֶהוּ לָשׁוֹן הָרַע אֵין עֵרֶךְ לְעָנְשׁוֹ. כִּי גּוֹרֵם שֶׁאוֹתָם גַּבָּאִים יִסְתַּלְּקוּ, וְיִתְמַנּוּ אֲחֵרִים רָעִים בִּמְקוֹמָן, וְנִמְצָא שֶׁמּוֹנֵעַ טוֹב מִן הַנּוֹתְנִים צְדָקָה, וְגוֹזֵל הָעֲנִיִּים הַטּוֹבִים, כִּי אוֹתָן אֲחֵרִים הָרָעִים לֹא יַחְמְלוּ עַל הַטּוֹבִים. וְנִמְצָא שֶׁזֶּה בִּטֵּל עֲבוֹדַת הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וּבִיֵּשׁ עַבְדֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא וּבְנֵיהֶם וּקְרוֹבֵיהֶם, כִּי תַּחַת אֲשֶׁר הָיָה לוֹ לְכַבְּדָם – לֹא דַּי שֶׁלֹּא כִּבְּדָם אֶלָּא גַּם הֵרַע לָהֶם. וּמוֹנֵעַ שְׁאָר יִרְאֵי שָׁמַיִם שֶׁלֹּא לִהְיוֹת גַּבָּאִים, כִּי יַחְשְׁבוּ: ״לָמָּה נַעֲשֶׂה דָּבָר שֶׁאַחַר כָּךְ יַחְשְׁדוּ אוֹתָנוּ, כַּאֲשֶׁר נֶחְשְׁדוּ פְּלוֹנִי וּפְלוֹנִי יִרְאֵי שָׁמַיִם״.
The sixth category is he who gossips about community officials who are worthy and who collect funds honestly and apportion alms to those who revere God. He who slanders them, saying that they steal from the charity funds and show bias in favor of some recipients as against others, and distribute the alms to those they favor and to their own relatives — this is gossip in which the guilt is incalculable. For it causes officials to quit their posts and others, who are evil, to be chosen in their place with the result that the gossiper deprives the charity givers of an opportunity to do good and he robs the deserving poor, for the other collectors who are evil will have no mercy on the good. The consequence is that this gossiper has nullified the service of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and shamed the servants of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and their children and their relatives. For instead of fulfilling his duty to honor the officials, not only did he not honor them but he did evil to them. And he thus restrains other God-fearing people from being officials, for they think, "Why should we engage in an activity where people will suspect us, just as they suspected these others, who are God-fearing men?"
וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ערכין טו ב): לָשׁוֹן הָרַע הוֹרֶגֶת שְׁלוֹשָׁה בְּנֵי אָדָם: הָאוֹמְרוֹ, וְהַמְּקַבְּלוֹ, וְאוֹתוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר עָלָיו. וְהַמְּקַבֵּל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל חֲבֵרוֹ נֶעֱנָשׁ יוֹתֵר מִמִּי שֶׁאוֹמְרוֹ. מְסַפְּרֵי לָשׁוֹן הָרַע אָסוּר לָדוּר בִּשְׁכוּנָתָם, כָּל שֶׁכֵּן לֵשֵׁב אֶצְלָם לִשְׁמֹעַ דִּבְרֵיהֶם.
And our Sages, of blessed memory, said, "Gossip slays three people — the one who speaks gossip, the one who listens to it and the one about whom the gossip is said" (Arakin 15b, and see T.P. Peah 1:1). And he who listens to the gossip is guiltier than he who speaks it. It is forbidden to dwell in the neighborhood of gossips, all the more so is it forbidden to sit with them and listen to their words.
עוֹד יֵשׁ רָעָה בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע: כִּי הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל חֲבֵרוֹ אָז הוּא מִתְגָּאֶה, וְיִרְאֶה עַצְמוֹ צַדִּיק בְּעֵינָיו, כִּי יַחְשֹׁב: ״פְּלוֹנִי עָשָׂה כָּךְ וְכָךְ, וַאֲנִי לֹא עָשִׂיתִי!״ נִמְצָא שֶׁהוּא מִתְגָּאֶה, וּמַחֲזִיק טוֹבָה לְעַצְמוֹ. וְאִלּוּ יַעֲשֶׂה מִצְוָה וְהֶחֱזִיק טוֹבָה לְעַצְמוֹ – הָיָה רַע מְאוֹד, כָּל שֶׁכֵּן וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה עֲבֵרָה גְּדוֹלָה בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע וּמַחֲזִיק טוֹבָה לְעַצְמוֹ. וְאִם אָדָם מְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל הַיְּתוֹמִים וְעַל הָאַלְמָנוֹת, אָז עָנְשׁוֹ עוֹד יוֹתֵר; כִּי בְּלָאו הָכִי הֵם מִצְטַעֲרִים, וְהוּא מְצַעֵר אוֹתָם יוֹתֵר.
There is another evil in gossip and that is that the one who speaks gossip against his companion feels proud and appears in his own eyes as a righteous person, for he thinks, "So and so did thus and thus, but I did not do anything like it." So we find that the gossip vaunts himself and claims merit for himself. Now if he did a good deed and claimed merit for it, that would be very bad, all the more so when he commits a great sin through gossip and claims merit for himself. And if a man speaks gossip against orphans or widows then his guilt is even greater — for they suffer affliction to begin with, and he causes them to suffer still more.
מִי שֶׁאוֹמֵר לַחֲבֵרוֹ: ״הֵיכָן יֵשׁ אֵשׁ? אֶלָּא בְּבַיִת פְּלוֹנִי דִּשְׁכִיחַ בֵּהּ בָּשָׂר וְדָגִים״ – אֲפִלּוּ זֶה הוּא לָשׁוֹן הָרַע (ערכין טו ב). בּוֹא וּרְאֵה אֵיךְ צָרִיךְ אָדָם לִזָּהֵר בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע!
Come and see, how careful a man ought to be to guard himself against gossip. If a man says to his companion, "Where can I obtain fire?" And his companion answers, "Why in the house of so and so; he always has plenty of meat and fish." Even this is gossip! (Arakin 15b).
וְעוֹד יֵשׁ אֲבַק לָשׁוֹן הָרַע, כְּגוֹן שֶׁאָמַר: ״תִּשְׁתְּקוּ מִפְּלוֹנִי, אֵינִי רוֹצֶה לְהוֹדִיעַ מָה שֶׁאֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ בּוֹ״. וְכֵן כָּל כַּיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה. וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ערכין טז א): אַל יְסַפֵּר אָדָם בְּטוֹבָתוֹ שֶׁל חֲבֵרוֹ, שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ טוֹבָתוֹ בָּא לִידֵי רָעָתוֹ. פֵּרוּשׁ: אִם תְּסַפֵּר טוֹבָתוֹ בִּפְנֵי שׂוֹנְאוֹ, אָז הוּא יָשִׁיב: ״אֵיךְ תְּשַׁבְּחֵהוּ, וְהוּא עוֹשֶׂה כָּךְ וְכָךְ?״ וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר: ״מְבָרֵךְ רֵעֵהוּ בְּקוֹל גָּדוֹל, בַּבֹּקֶר הַשְׁכֵּים, קְלָלָה תֵּחָשֶׁב לוֹ״ (משלי כז יד). אֲבָל בִּפְנֵי אוֹהֲבָיו מֻתָּר, דִּתְנַן (אבות ב ח): ״חֲמִשָּׁה תַּלְמִידִים הָיוּ לוֹ לְרַבָּן יוֹחָנָן בֶּן זַכַּאי, וְהוּא הָיָה מוֹנֶה שִׁבְחָן...״. וְכֵן הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע דֶּרֶךְ שְׂחוֹק וְקַלּוּת רֹאשׁ, כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר בְּשִׂנְאָה, הוּא שֶׁאוֹמֵר הַפָּסוּק (משלי כו יח-יט): ״כְּמִתְלַהְלֵהַּ הַיֹּרֶה זִקִּים חִצִּים וָמָוֶת, כֵּן אִישׁ רִמָּה אֶת רֵעֵהוּ, וְאָמַר הֲלֹא מְשַׂחֵק אָנִי״.
And there is another wrong which smacks of gossip — for example, where a person says, "Oh, better be silent about so and so; I don't want to say what I know about him!" — and so in all similar cases. And our Sages further said, "Let no man ever talk in praise of his neighbor, for through his praise he will come to disparage him" (Arakin 16a, and see Baba Bathra 164b). The meaning of this is: if you praise a man to his enemy, he will retort, "How can you praise him so much when he does this and this." And concerning this it is said, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him" (Prov. 27:14). But to praise a man before his friends is permitted, as we have learned, "Rabban Johanan the son of Zakkai had five (outstanding) disciples, and he used to recount their praises" (Aboth 2:8). Then, there is the one who speaks gossip by way of a joke or by way of frivolity (that is, he is not speaking out of hatred), and that is what Solomon said in his wisdom, "As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows and death; so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour and saith: "Am not I in sport?" (Prov. 26:18—19).
וְכֵן הַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע דֶּרֶךְ רְמִיזוֹת, וְהוּא שֶׁמְּסַפֵּר לְתֻמּוֹ כְּאִלּוּ אֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁדָּבָר זֶה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע, אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁמּוֹכִיחִים בּוֹ אוֹמֵר: ״אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁאֵלּוּ מַעֲשָׂיו שֶׁל פְּלוֹנִי, אוֹ שֶׁזֶּהוּ לָשׁוֹן הָרַע״. הַמְסַפֵּר דְּבָרִים שֶׁגּוֹרְמִים הֶזֵּק לַחֲבֵרוֹ, הֵן בְּגוּפוֹ וְהֵן בְּמָמוֹנוֹ, אֲפִלּוּ לְהָצֵר לוֹ אוֹ לְהַפְחִידוֹ – הֲרֵי זֶה לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. וְהָאוֹמֵר דָּבָר לַחֲבֵרוֹ – אָסוּר לְגַלּוֹתוֹ בְּלֹא רְשׁוּתוֹ (יומא ד ב). כָּל הַנֶּאֱמָר בִּפְנֵי שְׁלוֹשָׁה, אָז הוּא כְּמוֹ יָדוּעַ לַכֹּל; וְאִם סִפֵּר אֶחָד מִן הַשְּׁלוֹשָׁה – אֵין בּוֹ מִשּׁוּם לָשׁוֹן הָרַע (ערכין טז א). אֲבָל אִם הוּא מִתְכַּוֵּן לְגַלּוֹתוֹ יוֹתֵר – יֵשׁ בּוֹ מִשּׁוּם לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. וְאִם הָאוֹמֵר הִזְהִיר הַשּׁוֹמְעִים שֶׁלֹּא יְגַלּוּ, אֲפִלּוּ אֲמָרוֹ בִּפְנֵי רַבִּים – יֵשׁ בּוֹ מִשּׁוּם לָשׁוֹן הָרַע. מַעֲשֶׂה בְּתַלְמִיד אֶחָד, שֶׁגִּלָּה דָּבָר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ אַחַר עֶשְׂרִים וּשְׁתַּיִם שָׁנָה, וְהוֹצִיאוּ אוֹתוֹ מִבֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וְאָמְרוּ: ״זֶה מְגַלֶּה סוֹדוֹת״ (סנהדרין לא א).
Then there is he who speaks gossip by way of deceit: he tells it with seeming innocence, as though he does not know that he is indulging in gossip, and when others rebuke him he says, "I really don't know whether so and so is guilty of these things." Or he says, "This may be merely gossip." One who speaks words that cause harm to his fellow man, whether it be to his body or to his money, even though it be to distress him or to frighten him, it is gossip. If a man says something to his companion, he is forbidden to reveal it without his permission (Yoma 4b). But anything which a man says in front of three people it is as though he intended it to be common knowledge and if one of the three who heard it told about it we cannot say that this is gossip (Arakin 15b). But if the teller intends to reveal more than he heard, then there is something of gossip in it. And if the speaker warns those who heard him not to reveal it, even though he speaks in the presence of many people, still if one of those who were warned does reveal it, it is a sort of gossip. There is a story about a certain pupil who revealed a thing that had been said in the house of study twenty-two years earlier and they drove him out of the house of study and they said, "This one is a revealer of secrets" (Sanh. 31a).
וְעוֹד יֵשׁ עֲבֵרָה אַחַת הַנִּקְרֵאת רְכִילוּת. אֵיזֶהוּ רָכִיל? זֶה שֶׁהוֹלֵךְ מִזֶּה לָזֶה וְאוֹמֵר: ״כָּךְ וְכָךְ שָׁמַעְתִּי עַל פְּלוֹנִי!״ – אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא אֱמֶת, הֲרֵי הוּא מַחֲרִיב הָעוֹלָם. וְהֻזְהַרְנוּ בָּזֶה כְּדִכְתִיב (ויקרא יט טז): ״לֹא תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּךָ״. וְאֵיזֶהוּ רְכִילוּת? הַמְגַלֶּה לַחֲבֵרוֹ דְּבָרִים שֶׁדִּבְּרוּ מִמֶּנּוּ בַּסֵּתֶר. וְתַנְיָא: מִנַּיִן לְדַיָּן שֶׁלֹּא יֹאמַר: ״אֲנִי מְזַכֶּה וַחֲבֵרַי מְחַיְּבִין, אֲבָל מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה שֶׁחֲבֵרַי רַבּוּ עָלַי?״ לָכֵן נֶאֱמַר: ״לֹא תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּךָ״. וְאוֹמֵר (משלי יא יג): ״הוֹלֵךְ רָכִיל מְגַלֶּה סּוֹד״ (סנהדרין כט א).
And there is another sin which is called tale-bearing. Now, who is a tale bearer? One who loads himself with stories about others and goes from one to another and says, "Thus did so and so say," and "Thus and thus did I hear about that one." Even though what he tells is true, this kind of thing destroys the world. And we have been warned about this, as it is written, "Thou shall not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people" (Lev. 19:16). And what is tale-bearing? One who reveals to another things that were said about him in secret, and we have learned (Sanh. 31a): "Whence do we know that when a judge comes out he must not say, 'I was for acquittal, while my colleagues were for condemnation; but what could I do, seeing that they were in the majority?' " Scripture states, "Thou shall not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people" (Lev. 19:16), and further, "He that goeth about as a tale-bearer revealeth secrets" (Prov. 11:13).
הִזָּהֵר בְּנִי מְאוֹד מִלָּשׁוֹן הָרַע, כִּי בָּזֶה אַתָּה מְבַיֵּשׁ עַצְמְךָ. כִּי כָּל הַפּוֹסֵל – פָּסוּל. וְאֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, וְדַרְכּוֹ לִפְסֹל בְּנֵי אָדָם בְּמוּמוֹ (קידושין ע א), כִּי הַמּוּם שֶׁיֵּשׁ בּוֹ הוּא מֻנָּח כָּל הַיּוֹם בְּלִבּוֹ, וְכֵיוָן שֶׁהוּא בְּלִבּוֹ הוּא מוֹצִיאוֹ בְּפִיו. כִּי כָל אָדָם נִבְחָן וְנִכָּר בְּמַעֲשָׂיו. כֵּיצַד? אִם תִּרְאֶה אָדָם שֶׁהוּא רָגִיל לְשַׁבֵּחַ נָשִׁים, וּלְדַבֵּר מֵהֶן תָּמִיד – דַּע לְךָ שֶׁהוּא אוֹהֵב נָשִׁים. וְאִם הוּא מְשַׁבֵּחַ מַאֲכָלִים טוֹבִים וְיַיִן, וּבָזֶה רָגִיל – דַּע לְךָ שֶׁהוּא זוֹלֵל וְסוֹבֵא. וְכֵן בְּכָל דָּבָר. וּרְאָיָה מֵהַפָּסוּק (תהלים קיט צז): ״מָה אָהַבְתִּי תוֹרָתֶךָ, כָּל הַיּוֹם הִיא שִׂיחָתִי״ – בִּשְׁבִיל שֶׁאֲנִי אוֹהֵב אֶת הַתּוֹרָה, לְעוֹלָם אֲנִי מְדַבֵּר בָּהּ. כִּי כָל דָּבָר שֶׁאָדָם אוֹהֵב בְּלִבּוֹ – הוּא מְדַבֵּר בּוֹ תָּמִיד.
Be very careful concerning gossip for with this you shame yourself. For he who finds others unworthy is himself unworthy, and he does not speak in praise of anyone, and his way is to find people unworthy with the fault that he himself possesses (Kiddushin 70a).For this fault of his is constantly on his mind and when he gossips he expresses it with his mouth. For every man can be tested and recognized by his deeds. How? When you see a man who is accustomed to praise women and to speak of them always, know that he loves women. And if he praises good food and wine and does so constantly, know that he is a glutton and a drunkard And so is it with everything. And proof of this you may find in the verse, "Oh how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day" (Ps. 119:97). Because I love the Torah, I always speak of it — since whatever a person loves in his heart, he lends to speak about always.
בַּעַל הַלָּשׁוֹן מְחַפֵּשׂ מוּמֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם. וְהוּא דּוֹמֶה לַזְּבוּבִים, שֶׁהֵם יָנוּחוּ לְעוֹלָם עַל מְקוֹם הַלִּכְלוּךְ; אִם יֵשׁ בְּאָדָם שְׁחִין – הַזְּבוּבִים מַנִּיחִים אֶת הַגּוּף וְיֵשְׁבוּ עַל הַשְּׁחִין. וְכָךְ הוּא בַּעַל לָשׁוֹן הָרַע: מַנִּיחַ כָּל הַטּוֹב בָּאָדָם, וּמְדַבֵּר מִן הָרַע. מַעֲשֶׂה בְּאָדָם אֶחָד, שֶׁהָלַךְ עִם חָכָם בַּשָּׂדֶה וְרָאָה נְבֵלָה אַחַת. אָמַר אוֹתוֹ הָאָדָם: ״כַּמָּה מַסְרַחַת נְבֵלָה זוֹ!״ אָמַר הֶחָכָם: ״כַּמָּה לְבָנִים שִׁנֶּיהָ!״ הֶחָכָם הוֹכִיחַ לְאוֹתוֹ אָדָם וְאָמַר: ״לָמָּה תֹּאמַר הַגְּנַאי שֶׁלּוֹ, תֹּאמַר הַשֶּׁבַח!״ כִּי לְעוֹלָם יְסַפֵּר אָדָם בְּשִׁבְחוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם.
A gossip always seeks out the faults of people; he is like the flies who always rest on the dirty spot. If a man has boils, the flies will let the rest of the body go and sit on the boil. And thus it is with a gossip. He overlooks all the good in a man and speaks only of the evil. There is a story about a certain man who went with a wise man in the field, and they saw a corpse. The man said, "How putrid this corpse is." And the wise man said, "How white are its teeth." Thus the wise man rebuked his companion and said in effect, "Why must you speak about its blemish; speak of its excellence, for one should always speak in commendation of the world."
אִם תִּרְאֶה אָדָם אֲשֶׁר יְדַבֵּר דָּבָר אוֹ יַעֲשֶׂה מַעֲשֶׂה, וְיֵשׁ לָדוּן דְּבָרָיו וּמַעֲשָׂיו לְצַד חוֹבָה וּלְצַד זְכוּת, אִם הוּא יְרֵא אֱלֹהִים – נִתְחַיֵּב לְדוּנוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת עַל דֶּרֶךְ אֱמֶת, אֲפִלּוּ אִם הַדָּבָר נוֹטֶה לְחוֹבָה יוֹתֵר מִלִּזְכוּת. וְאִם הוּא בֵּינוֹנִי, אֲשֶׁר נִזְהָר מִן הַחֵטְא וּפְעָמִים יִכָּשֵׁל בּוֹ – יֵשׁ עָלֶיךָ לְהַטּוֹת הַסָּפֵק וּלְהַכְרִיעוֹ לְכַף זְכוּת, וְהַמָּקוֹם יִתְעַלֶּה יַכְרִיעַ אוֹתָנוּ לְכַף זְכוּת (שבת קכז ב). וְהִיא מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה מִן הַתּוֹרָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט טו): ״בְּצֶדֶק תִּשְׁפֹּט עֲמִיתֶךָ״. וְאִם הַדָּבָר נוֹטֶה לְצַד חוֹבָה, אִם הָאִישׁ רֹב מַעֲשָׂיו לְרָעָה, וְיָדַעְתָּ כִּי אֵין יִרְאַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְעַלֶּה בְּלִבּוֹ – תַּכְרִיעַ מַעֲשָׂיו וּדְבָרָיו לְכַף חוֹבָה.
If you see a man who speaks a word or does a deed which can be interpreted either favorably or unfavorably, then if he is a man who reveres God you are obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if the unfavorable interpretation appears more likely. And if he is an ordinary person who guards himself from sin, but occasionally stumbles, it is still your duty to put doubt aside and decide his favor. And our Sages, of blessed memory, said: "He who judges his neighbor in the scale of merit is himself judged favorably" (Shabbath 127b). And this is a positive commandment in the Torah, as it is said, "But in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbor" (Lev. 19:15). And if the matter inclines to the unfavorable interpretation, let it be with you as though there were a doubt and do not judge the man unfavorably. But if the man's deeds for the most part are evil, and you know that he is not one who reveres God in his heart, then you should put the unfavorable interpretation on his deeds and words.
אִם גִּלָּה אָדָם חַטָּאתְךָ, אַל תֹּאמַר: ״כְּמוֹ שֶׁגִּלָּה חַטָּאתִי, גַּם אֲנִי אֲגַלֶּה חַטָּאתוֹ״, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יח): ״לֹא תִקֹּם וְלֹא תִטֹּר״. וְגַם לֹא תִּתְפָּאֵר: ״אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא גִּלָּה עָלַי, אֲנִי לֹא אֲגַלֶּה עָלָיו״, כִּי בָּזֶה הַדִּבּוּר גִּלִּיתָ הַחֵצִי. וְזֶה הַדָּבָר עִקָּר גָּדוֹל בְּיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם. וְאִם הַחוֹטֵא אֵינוֹ יְרֵא שָׁמַיִם, כְּמוֹ הַפּוֹרֵק עוֹל מֵעָלָיו וְאֵינוֹ נִזְהָר מֵעֲבֵרָה אַחַת, אֲשֶׁר כָּל בְּנֵי עִירוֹ יוֹדְעִים שֶׁהִיא עֲבֵרָה – מִצְוָה לְסַפֵּר בִּגְנוּתוֹ, לְגַלּוֹת חֲטָאָיו וּלְהַבְאִישׁ לְבַעֲלֵי עֲבֵרוֹת בְּעֵינֵי בְּנֵי אָדָם, בַּעֲבוּר שֶׁיִּשְׁמְעוּ הָעָם וְיִמְאֲסוּ בּוֹ, וְיַרְחִיקוּ עַצְמָן מִן הָעֲבֵרוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי כט כד): ״תּוֹעֲבַת צַדִּיקִים אִישׁ עָוֶל״. וְנֶאֱמַר (שם ח יג): ״יִרְאַת יְיָ שְׂנֹאת רָע״. וְאָמְרוּ (סנהדרין נב א): רָשָׁע בֶּן צַדִּיק – מֻתָּר לִקְרוֹתוֹ ״רָשָׁע בֶּן רָשָׁע״; צַדִּיק בֶּן רָשָׁע – מֻתָּר לִקְרוֹתוֹ ״צַדִּיק בֶּן צַדִּיק״. וְדַוְקָא עַל דֶּרֶךְ זֶה מֻתָּר לְהַכְלִימוֹ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁמִּתְקוֹטֵט עִמּוֹ, וּמְכַוֵּן לְחָרְפוֹ לַהֲנָאָתוֹ לְבַד וְלֹא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם – אֵין לוֹ לְגַלּוֹת חַטָּאתוֹ. וְכֵן אִם הַמְגַלֶּה הַזֶּה הוּא חוֹטֵא – אֵין לוֹ לְגַלּוֹת פֶּשַׁע שֶׁל חוֹטֵא אַחֵר, כִּי בְּוַדַּאי אֵין מְגַלֶּה מִסְתָּרָיו לְטוֹבָה; ״וּדְבַר שְׂפָתַיִם אַךְ לְמַחְסוֹר״ (משלי יד כג).
If a man revealed your sin, do not say, "Just as he revealed my sin, I will now reveal his sin," As it is said, "Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge" (Lev. 19:18). Neither may you boast and say, "Even though he has revealed my sin, I will not reveal his," for by so speaking you have already revealed the half of it. And this matter is a very great principle in the whole concept of reverence of God. But if the one who sins does not fear God then he is as one who throws off the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven from upon him, and if he does not guard himself against a single transgression which all the people of the city know to be a sin, then one does well to speak evil of him and to reveal his sins and to cause the sinner, to be odious in the eyes of the people, in order that the people may hear and despise him and set themselves apart from transgressions, as it is said, "An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous" (Prov. 29:27). And it is said, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil" (Prov. 8:13). And they said, a wicked man who is the son of a righteous man may be called "a wicked man, son of the wicked," while a righteous man who is the son of a wicked man may be called "a righteous man, son of the righteous" — and precisely in this way is it permitted to shame him for the sake of Heaven. But a man who quarrels with another and intends to shame him for his own satisfaction and not for the sake of Heaven, may not reveal his sin (Sanh. 52a). And similarly if the one who reveals the transgression of his companion is himself a sinner, he should not reveal the wrong of another sinner, for he certainly is not revealing the secrets of the sinner for a good purpose. "But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury" (Prov. 14:23).
אַךְ מִעוּט פְּעָמִים שֶׁלָּשׁוֹן הָרַע מִצְוָה. כְּגוֹן שְׁנֵי רְשָׁעִים שֶׁנִּתְיַעֲצוּ לַעֲשׂוֹת רָעָה – מֻתָּר לְגַלּוֹת בְּלָשׁוֹן הָרַע, וְלִגְרוֹם שֶׁיִּשְׂנְאוּ זֶה אֶת זֶה וְיַעֲשׂוּ רַע זֶה לָזֶה, שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשׂוּ רַע לַטּוֹבִים. וְכֵן נוֹאֵף מְחַזֵּר אַחַר נוֹאֶפֶת – מִצְוָה לְדַבֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע, שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשׂוּ הָעֲבֵרָה. וּפְעָמִים אֲפִלּוּ כְּשֶׁהַחוֹטֵא רָשָׁע גָּמוּר – אֵין לְהַכְלִימוֹ בָּרַבִּים בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁיֵּשׁ לִדְאֹג שֶׁמָּא יֵצֵא לְתַרְבּוּת רָעָה. וּמֻתָּר לְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע עַל בַּעֲלֵי מַחֲלֹקֶת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (מלכים א א יד): ״וַאֲנִי אָבוֹא אַחֲרַיִךְ, וּמִלֵּאתִי אֶת דְּבָרָיִךְ״ (ירושלמי פאה א א).
There are a few instance where it is commendable to engage in gossip. For example, in the case of two wicked men who have taken counsel to do evil, it is permitted, by gossip, to make them hate each other and do evil to one another, in order that they do not do evil to good people. And so is it with an adulterer who is pursuing an adultress, it is a good deed to gossip about them so that they should not commit the transgression. And there are times when even though the sinner is a completely wicked person it still is not proper to shame him in public — when there is the danger that this will cause him to become an unbeliever. It is permissible to use gossip against people who are always starting quarrels, as it is said, "I also will come in after thee, and confirm thy words" (I Kings 1:14) (See T.P. Peah 1:1).
עֲבוּר אֲשֶׁר הַרְבֵּה דְּבָרִים תְּלוּיִים בַּלָּשׁוֹן, צָרִיךְ לִשְׁמֹר לְשׁוֹנוֹ מְאוֹד. וְעַל כֵּן אָמַר דָּוִד (תהלים לד יד): ״נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע״. וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ויקרא רבה טז ב): מַעֲשֶׂה בְּאָדָם אֶחָד שֶׁקָּרָא בָּרְחוֹב: ״מִי רוֹצֶה לִקְנוֹת סַם חַיִּים?״ בָּאוּ כָּל הָעוֹלָם לִקְנוֹת, וְהוֹצִיא סֵפֶר תְּהִלִּים וְהֶרְאָה לָהֶם מָה שֶׁכָּתוּב בּוֹ: ״מִי הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים, אֹהֵב יָמִים לִרְאוֹת טוֹב, נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע״. וּכְשֶׁרָאָה זֶה רַבִּי יַנַּאי הִכְנִיסוֹ בְּבֵיתוֹ, וְהֶאֱכִילָהוּ וְהִשְׁקָהוּ וְנָתַן לוֹ מָעוֹת. בָּאוּ תַּלְמִידָיו וְאָמְרוּ לוֹ: ״עַד עַתָּה לֹא יָדַעְתָּ זֶה הַפָּסוּק?״ אָמַר לָהֶם: ״יָדַעְתִּי, אֲבָל לֹא שַׂמְתִּי עַל לִבִּי לְהִזָּהֵר בְּדָבָר זֶה. וּכְשֶׁהָיִיתִי קוֹרֵא זֶה הַפָּסוּק עָבַרְתִּי עָלָיו וְלֹא חַשְׁתִּי, וּבָא זֶה וְקִיְּמוֹ בְּיָדִי, וּמֵעַתָּה אֶזָּהֵר יוֹתֵר בִּלְשׁוֹנִי״.
Because so many things depend upon the tongue, it is necessary to guard the tongue very much. And therefore David said, "Keep thy tongue from evil" (Ps. 34:14). And our Sages, of blessed memory, recounted a story about a certain man who cried out in the streets, "Who wants to purchase the elixir of life?" Everybody came to buy. He then took out the Book of Psalms and showed them what was written in it: "Who is the man that desireth life and loveth days, that he may see good therein? Keep thy tongue from evil" (Ps. 34:13—14). And when Rabbi Yannai saw this, he took this man into his house and he fed him and he gave him drink and money. The pupils of Rabbi Yannai came to him and said to him, "Did you not know this verse before?" And he said to them, "I did know it — but I never put it in my heart to be careful concerning this. When I used to read this verse I would go over it hastily and did not realize its full meaning. And now this man came and made it mean something to me, and from now on I shall be more careful with my tongue" (Lev. Rabbah 16:2; Shohar Tov, 52b).
לָכֵן אָדָם שֶׁהֻרְגַּל בִּלְשׁוֹנוֹ לְהַחֲנִיף וּלְהִתְלוֹצֵץ, וּלְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרַע, וּלְדַבֵּר כָּזָב וּדְבָרִים בְּטֵלִים, וְעַתָּה הוּא רוֹצֶה לְהִכָּנַע וְלִמְנֹעַ מִזֶּה, וְלַעֲשׂוֹת גָּדֵר גָּדוֹל וַחֲזָקָה מְאוֹד – יַעֲשֶׂה גָּדֵר שֶׁיִּתְרַחֵק מֵחֲבֵרָיו הָרִאשׁוֹנִים, שֶׁהָיָה רָגִיל לְדַבֵּר עִמָּהֶם לֵיצָנוּת וַחֲנִיפוּת וְלָשׁוֹן הָרַע וְשֶׁקֶר. כִּי אִם יִתְקָרֵב אֶצְלָם לֹא יוּכַל לִמְנֹעַ, כִּי הֵם יַתְחִילוּ לְדַבֵּר עִמּוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁהֻרְגְּלוּ, וְאָז לֹא יוּכַל לְהִתְאַפֵּק מִלְּדַבֵּר עִמָּהֶם כְּמוֹ שֶׁהֻרְגַּל. וְצָרִיךְ לְהַרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ בִּשְׁתִיקָה מְאוֹד מְאוֹד, כְּדֵי לְהַרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ לְמַעֵט פְּתִיחַת פִּיו; וְיַרְבֶּה לֵשֵׁב בַּחֶדֶר לְבַדּוֹ וְלַעֲסֹק בַּתּוֹרָה, וְיִתְחַבֵּר עִם הַחֲסִידִים שֶׁאֵינָם מְדַבְּרִים כִּי אִם מִדִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה וְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם. וּבְזֶה הָעִנְיָן יַרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ יָמִים רַבִּים, וְאָז יִמְצָא רְפוּאָה לְמַכָּתוֹ.
Therefore, a man whose tongue is accustomed to flatter, to scoff, to gossip, to lie, to indulge in idle talk — and who now wishes to subdue this impulse and put up a strong fence against this vice — such a man should make a fence by keeping apart from his original companions with whom he used to indulge in scoffing and flattery and gossip and lies. For if he should again draw close to them, he will not be able to restrain himself from this sin, for they will begin to speak with him as they were accustomed to do and then he will not be able to restrain himself from speaking with them as he was accustomed to do. And such a man should accustom himself severely to silence in order to develop the habit of opening his mouth very little, and he often should sit by himself in a room and occupy himself with Torah and he should join the company of the pious who speak only of the Torah and of reverence of God. And in this manner he should accustom himself to do for a long time and then he will find healing for his wound.
כְּתִיב (משלי יח כא): ״מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן, וְאוֹהֲבֶיהָ יֹאכַל פִּרְיָהּ״. מַעֲשֶׂה הָיָה בְּמֶלֶךְ פָּרַס שֶׁחָלָה. אָמְרוּ לוֹ הָרוֹפְאִים: ״אֵין לְךָ רְפוּאָה עַד שֶׁיָּבִיאוּ לְךָ חֲלֵב לְבִיאָה, וְנַעֲשֶׂה לְךָ רְפוּאָה.״ אָז עָנָה אֶחָד וְאָמַר לוֹ: ״אֲנִי אָבִיא לְךָ חֲלֵב לְבִיאָה אִם רְצוֹנְךָ, וּתְנוּ לִי עֶשֶׂר עִזִּים.״ אָמַר הַמֶּלֶךְ לְעַבְדּוֹ שֶׁיִּתְּנוּ לוֹ. נָתְנוּ לוֹ. הָלַךְ לְגֹב אֲרָיוֹת, וְהָיְתָה שָׁם לְבִיאָה אַחַת מֵינֶקֶת גּוּרֶיהָ. יוֹם רִאשׁוֹן עָמַד מֵרָחוֹק וְהִשְׁלִיךְ עֵז אַחַת וַאֲכָלַתָּה. יוֹם שֵׁנִי נִתְקָרֵב מְעַט, וְהִשְׁלִיךְ לָהּ אַחֶרֶת. וְכֵן הָיָה עֹשֶׂה בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם עַד שֶׁהָיָה מְשַׂחֵק עִמָּהּ, וְלָקַח מֵחֲלָבָהּ וְהָלַךְ לוֹ. כְּשֶׁהָיָה בַּחֲצִי הַדֶּרֶךְ רָאָה בַּחֲלוֹם שֶׁהָיוּ כָּל אֵיבָרָיו מְרִיבִים זֶה עִם זֶה. הָרַגְלַיִם אוֹמְרוֹת: ״אֵין בְּכָל הָאֵבָרִים דּוֹמִים לָנוּ, לְפִי שֶׁאִם לֹא הָלַכְנוּ לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לְהָבִיא מִן הַלְּבִיאָה חָלָב״. וְהַיָּדַיִם אוֹמְרוֹת: ״אֵין כָּמוֹנוּ, לְפִי שֶׁאִם לֹא הָיִינוּ אָנוּ שֶׁחָלַבְנוּ, לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לַעֲשׂוֹת שׁוּם דָּבָר״. הָעֵינַיִם אָמְרוּ: ״אָנוּ לְמַעְלָה מִן הַכֹּל, שֶׁאִם לֹא הָיִינוּ מַרְאִים לוֹ אֶת הַדֶּרֶךְ לֹא הָיָה נַעֲשֶׂה דָּבָר״. עָנָה הַלֵּב וְאָמַר: ״אֵין כָּמוֹנִי, אִם לֹא נָתַתִּי עֵצָה מָה הוֹעַלְתֶּם כֻּלְּכֶם?״ עָנָה הַלָּשׁוֹן וְאָמַר לָהֶם: ״אֵין כָּמוֹנִי, לְפִי שֶׁאִם לֹא אָמַרְתִּי אֶת הַדָּבָר מִי הָיָה עוֹשֶׂה אוֹתוֹ?״ הֵשִׁיבוּ לָהּ כָּל הָאֵיבָרִים: ״אֵיךְ לֹא יָרֵאת לְהִדָּמוֹת אֵלֵינוּ, הֲלוֹא אַתְּ סְגוּרָה וּנְתוּנָה בִּמְקוֹם חֹשֶׁךְ וַאֲפֵלָה, וְאֵין בָּךְ עֶצֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר לִשְׁאָר אֵיבָרִים.״ אָמְרָה לָהֶם הַלָּשׁוֹן: ״הֲלוֹא תִּרְאוּ שֶׁאֲנִי מֶלֶךְ וְשׁוֹלֵט עֲלֵיכֶם״.
It is written, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that indulge it shall eat the fruit thereof" (Prov. 18:21). There is a story about a king of Persia who became ill, and the doctors said to him, "You cannot be healed until they bring you the milk of a lioness and then we will make you a medicine that will heal you." One of the men present said, "I will bring you the milk of a lioness if you wish, but give me ten goats." The king told his servants to give them to him, and they did so. He went to a pit of lions and there was a lioness there who was giving suck to her young. The first day he stood far off and threw one goat to the lioness and she ate it. The second day he came closer to her a bit and threw her another goat, and thus did he do until he was able to play with the lioness, and he took some of her milk and started back. As he was travelling along the way, he saw in a dream that his limbs were quarrelling with one another. The leg said, "There are no limbs like us, for if we had not gone our master would not have been able to bring the milk." Then the hand said, "There is no one like us, for if we had not done our part, nothing would have happened." The brain said, "There is no one like me! If I had not given counsel, of what use would any of you have been?" Then the tongue said, "There is nobody like me. For if I had not said that we would do this thing, who would have done it?" All the limbs answered, "How dare you compare yourself with us? You are in a place of darkness, and you possess no bone like the rest of the limbs." And the tongue replied to them, "This day will you say that I rule over all of you."
שָׁמַר הָאִישׁ אֶת הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה. הָלַךְ אֵצֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ, אָמַר לוֹ: ״אֲדוֹנִי הַמֶּלֶךְ, הֵא לְךָ חֲלֵב כַּלְבָּה!״ קָצַף הַמֶּלֶךְ וְאָמַר לִתְלוֹתוֹ. כְּשֶׁהָיָה הוֹלֵךְ לְהִתָּלוֹת, הִתְחִילוּ הָאֵבָרִים לִבְכּוֹת. אָמְרָה לָהֶם הַלָּשׁוֹן: ״הֲלוֹא אָמַרְתִּי לָכֶם שֶׁאֵין בָּכֶם מַמָּשׁ.״ וְאָמְרָה הַלָּשׁוֹן: ״אִם אֲנִי מַצֶּלֶת אֶתְכֶם, תּוֹדוּ לִי שֶׁאֲנִי מֶלֶךְ עֲלֵיכֶם?״ מִיָּד אָמְרָה הַלָּשׁוֹן: ״הֲשִׁיבֵנִי אֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ, אוּלַי אֶנָּצֵל.״ הֱשִׁיבָהוּ אֵלָיו. אָמַר לוֹ: ״לָמָּה צִוִּיתָ לִתְלוֹתִי? זוֹ תּוֹרָה וְזוֹ שְׂכָרָהּ?!״ אָמַר לוֹ: ״שֶׁהֵבֵאתָ לִי חֲלֵב כַּלְבָּה״. אָמַר לוֹ: ״וּמָה אִכְפַּת לְךָ אִם יִהְיֶה לְךָ רְפוּאָה? וְעוֹד: ׳לְבִיאָה׳ – ׳כַּלְבָּה׳ קַרְיָן לָהּ״. לָקְחוּ מִמֶּנּוּ וְנִסּוּ אוֹתוֹ, וְנִמְצָא חֲלֵב לְבִיאָה. אָמְרוּ לָהּ הָאֵבָרִים: ״עַכְשָׁו אָנוּ מוֹדִים לְךָ שֶׁאַתָּה אָמַרְתָּ הָאֱמֶת. וְזֶהוּ: ״מָוֶת וְחַיִּים בְּיַד לָשׁוֹן״ (שוחר טוב לב ב-ג). לְכָךְ אָמַר דָּוִד (תהלים לט ב): ״אֶשְׁמְרָה דְרָכַי מֵחֲטוֹא בִלְשׁוֹנִי״.
The man kept the dream in mind. He went to the king and he said to him, "My lord, the king, here is the milk of a bitch." The king got very angry and ordered that the man be hanged. As he was about to be hanged, all the limbs began to weep. Whereupon the tongue said to them, "Did I not tell you that you are not worth anything? If I save you, will you confess that I am king over all of you?" And they said to her, "Yes!" Then the man said to the executioners, "Take me back to the king, perhaps I can be saved." So they returned the man to the king, and the man asked, "Why did you order that I be hanged?" And the king said, "Because you brought me the milk of a bitch." The man said, "What difference does it make as long as you are healed? And moreover, a lioness is often called a bitch. They took the milk from him and tested it and it was found to be the milk of a lioness. Then all of the limbs said to the tongue, "Now we confess to you that you are king." And this is the meaning of the saying, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Therefore David said (Ps. 39:2), "I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue" (Shohar Tov, 39:2—3, and Yalkut Tehillim, item 721).
רְאֵה שֶׁהַלָּשׁוֹן טוֹבָה מִקָּרְבָּנוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שם סט לא-לב): ״אֲהַלְלָה שֵׁם אֱלֹהִים בְּשִׁיר, וַאֲגַדְּלֶנּוּ בְּתוֹדָה, וְתִיטַב לַיְיָ מִשּׁוֹר פָּר מַקְרִן מַפְרִיס״.
See how the tongue is better than sacrifices, for it is said, "I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify Him with thanksgiving. And it shall please the Lord better than a bullock that hath horns and hoofs" (Ps. 69:31—32).
צָרִיךְ שֶׁתִּתְבּוֹנֵן וְתַבְחִין עִנְיַן הַלָּשׁוֹן, אֲשֶׁר כָּל עִנְיְנֵי הָאָדָם לְרָעָה וּלְטוֹבָה תְּלוּיִים בָּהּ. יָכוֹל הָאָדָם לַעֲשׂוֹת בַּלָּשׁוֹן עֲבֵרוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת וַעֲצוּמוֹת אֵין מִסְפָּר, כְּגוֹן מַלְשִׁינוּת וּרְכִילוּת וְלֵיצָנוּת וַחֲנִיפוּת וְשֶׁקֶר וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּאֵלּוּ. וְכָל אֵלּוּ עֲבֵרוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת, אֵין רֶוַח לְבַעַל הַלָּשׁוֹן. וְיָכוֹל לַעֲשׂוֹת מִצְווֹת לְאֵין חֵקֶר בִּלְשׁוֹנוֹ. וְיֵשׁ כַּמָּה בְּנֵי אָדָם הָאוֹמְרִים: מָה נוּכַל לַעֲשׂוֹת מִצְוָה? הֲלוֹא אֵין בְּיָדֵינוּ מָמוֹן לַעֲשׂוֹת צְדָקָה לָעֲנִיִּים. וְהֵם אֵינָם יוֹדְעִים אֲשֶׁר מְקוֹר הַמִּצְווֹת קָרוֹב לָהֶם מְאוֹד, מְקוֹר חַיִּים בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וּבָעוֹלָם הַבָּא, וְהוּא הַלָּשׁוֹן. וְכֵן אָמַר דָּוִד: ״מִי רוֹצֶה לִקְנוֹת עוֹלָם הַזֶּה וְעוֹלָם הַבָּא?״ אָמְרוּ לוֹ: ״אֵין אָדָם יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד בִּשְׁנֵיהֶם״. אָמַר לָהֶם: ״בְּזוֹל הוּא מְאוֹד. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר: ׳מִי הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים׳ (תהלים לד יג).״ אָמְרוּ לוֹ: ״מִי יוּכַל לִקְנוֹת חַיִּים?״ אָמַר לָהֶם: ״נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע״ (שם פסוק יד).
You must consider well and distinguish clearly this matter of the tongue, because all the affairs of a man, whether for evil or for good, depend upon it. With his tongue, a man can commit great and mighty transgressions without number, such as informing, tale-bearing, scoffing, flattery, lies, and the like. And all of these great transgressions bring no profit to the owner of the tongue. And with his tongue a man can also do precepts without limit. And there are many people who say, "How can we do a good deed? We do not have money which we can give to the poor." They do not know that the source of the precepts is very near to them — the source of life in this world and in the world-to-come, and that is the tongue. And thus did David say, "Who wishes to acquire the life of this world and of the world to come?" And they said to them, "No one can stay in both worlds." Then he said to them, "It is very cheap," as it is written, "Who is the man that desireth life" (Ps. 34:13). They said to him, "Who is the one that can acquire life?" And he said to them (Ps. 34:14), "Keep thy tongue from evil" (Shohar Tov, 39:4; and see Abodah Zarah 19b).
וְיַרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ בַּלָּשׁוֹן לְדַבֵּר דִבְרֵי תוֹרָה וְיִרְאַת שָׁמַיִם, וּלְהוֹכִיחַ בְּנֵי אָדָם, וּלְצַוּוֹת בָּנָיו אַחֲרָיו לִשְׁמוֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת. וּלְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים, וּלְנַחֵם עֲנִיִּים, וּלְדַבֵּר עַל לִבָּם דְּבָרִים שֶׁל תַּנְחוּמִים טוֹבִים, וּלְדַבֵּר אֱמֶת, וּלְהִתְרַגֵּל בְּשִׁירוֹת וְתִשְׁבָּחוֹת. וְאָז יִהְיֶה אָהוּב לְמַטָּה וְנֶחְמָד לְמַעְלָה, וְיִהְיֶה שְׂכָרוֹ בְּרוֹב טוּב הַצָּפוּן לַצַּדִּיקִים.
A man should accustom himself to speak words of Torah and of reverence of God and to reprove people, and to command his sons ofter him to observe and to do (the commandments) — to comfort the mourners, to comfort the poor, to speak to their hearts good words of consolation, to speak the truth, and to accustom oneself to pray with songs and praises — and then he will be beloved below and dearly beloved above, and his reward will be in the great good which is treasured up for the righteous.