It is stated, “And you shall teach them sharply to your sons, etc.” (Deuteronomy 6:7). This is an admonition to fathers that they must study with their sons personally and sharpen their wits so that they do not approach the Torah in a dull manner. And if the father is not himself a scholar, he is commanded, “And you shall speak of them.” That is, let him speak with teachers to persuade them to study with his sons. He must also guide his children in the ways of business and proper conduct and in all these matters he must see to it that they do not to transgress the Torah by so much as a hairsbreadth, Heaven forbid.
“When you sit in your house.” — One must conduct himself at home with awe of Heaven and guide his household to be open to the poor. One must also see to it that the members of his household are not in the habit of speaking slander or cursing or swearing.
“And when you walk along the way.” — One must engage in study and give charity to the extent of his abilities. Thus we find that Yaakov prepared to meet his brother with three strategies: tribute, appeasement and battle. In our case, “tribute” means giving to the poor, who the Zohar refers to in a number of places as tribute to the Holy One Blessed is He (2:129a, 198a). “Appeasement” means prayer. That is, appeasing the Holy One Blessed is He with prayers and supplications. “Battle” refers to the “battle” of Torah study, through which one weakens the power of the wicked Eisav and his guardian angel, the Samech Mem (SME”L). See what is written in this regard in the Zohar in Parashas Va’eschanan (269a).
“And when you lie down.” — One must conduct himself with holiness and unify the name of the Holy One Blessed is He by reciting the bedtime Shema. Moreover, one must behave with sanctity during marital relations.
“And when you rise up.” — One must rise eagerly to pray and offer songs of praise to the Holy One Blessed is He for having restored his soul. Afterwards he may go and engage in his business, in good faith.
Thus it is fitting for a person to prepare for himself the three strategies mentioned above: tribute, appeasement and battle. “Tribute” means giving a gift to the poor before praying. Prayer itself is the “appeasement.” And afterwards let him set aside a fixed time for study, for this is the “battle.”
It is fitting to elaborate on the loftiness of the “battle” of Torah, and it can be gleaned from this passage from the Zohar (Parashas Vayeira 98a): Rabbi Eliezer the Great took ill on the eve of Shabbos. He seated his son Horknus to his right and began revealing to him deep secrets. Then the great sages of the generation entered and he cursed them for failing to come and learn from him. Rabbi Akiva wept and pleaded with him to teach him something before he died. So Rabbi Eliezer began discussing the mystic speculations of the Divine Chariot and the two of them were surrounded by fire. The sages of the generation said, “Apparently we are not worthy of hearing this.” So they went and stood outside the doorway…. Rabbi Eliezer taught Rabbi Akiva three hundred laws about a stark white plague of the skin. Afterwards he taught him some of the secrets of The Song of Songs [Shir HaShirim]. When he came to the verse, “Support me with goblets; strengthen me with apples, for I am sick with love” (2:5), Rabbi Akiva was unable to withhold himself any longer. He raised his voice and wept, but he did not speak out of fear of the Shechinah that was present.
Afterwards Rabbi Eliezer made Rabbi Akiva swear not to make practical use of any verse from Shir HaShirim lest the world be destroyed, for the world is unworthy of benefiting from the secrets of Shir HaShirim, for it is the Holy of Holies. Afterwards Rabbi Akiva went out, his eyes streaming with tears, and declared, “Woe to the world that is orphaned of you Rabbi Eliezer! Then the sages of the generation entered and spoke with him words of Torah. And when Rabbi Eliezer saw that his soul was near to expiring he placed his hands upon his heart and said, “The supernal world, the light and the illumination will all be hidden away in you. The two Torahs will be forgotten from this world this day!” At that time Rabbi Akiva was not with him. The sages of the generation asked him, “Is the sandal used in the releasing ceremony from the levirate marriage susceptible to defilement or not?” Rabbi Eliezer said, “It is pure,” and his soul expired with the word “pure.” After Shabbos Rabbi Akiva came to visit him and discovered that Rabbi Eliezer was dead. He rent his garment and wept…And he cried out, saying, “O Heaven! O Heaven! Tell the sun and the moon that the light that used to shine more brightly than them has been darkened.”
Rabbi Yehudah said, “When the soul of a righteous person prepares to exit the body it rejoices because of its faith that it will be rewarded in the World to Come. And when it beholds the Shechinah, the holy angels and the souls of the righteous coming to meet and accompany it, it flies out of the body in which it had been installed and bows to the ground before the Shechinah [see Midrash HaNe’elam, ad loc., and find satisfaction].
Therefore a person should pray that when his end arrives, the Shechinah will come to him, too, and that he will die the death of a kiss in ripe old age. When the Shechinah does come, it is accompanied by three groups of angels (Kesuvos 104a). One says, “Come in peace!” One says, “Go straight ahead!” (Yeshayahu 57:2). And one says, “Let him come in peace; they shall rest upon their beds” (ibid.)
כְּתִיב כְּתִיב (דְּבָרִים ו, ז): "וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְגוֹ'" — אַזְהָרָה לָאָב, שֶׁמְּחֻיָּב לִלְמֹד בְּעַצְמוֹ עִם בְּנוֹ וּלְחַדֵּד אוֹתוֹ בְּפִלְפּוּלָא, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה בְּנוֹ טִפֵּשׁ בַּתּוֹרָה. וְאִם הָאָב אֵינוֹ בַּעַל תּוֹרָה, אֲזַי הוּא מְצֻוֶּה 'וְדִבַּרְתָּ בָּם — שֶׁיְּדַבֵּר עַל לֵב הַמְלַמְּדִים שֶׁיִּלְמְדוּ עִם בָּנָיו, וְיַדְרִיךְ בָּנָיו בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן וּבְדֶרֶךְ אֶרֶץ. בְּכֻלָּן יְדַקְדֵּק הָאָדָם הֵיטֵב, שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲבֹר עַל הַתּוֹרָה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֲפִלּוּ כִּמְלוֹא נִימָה.
It is stated, “And you shall teach them sharply to your sons, etc.” (Deuteronomy 6:7). This is an admonition to fathers that they must study with their sons personally and sharpen their wits so that they do not approach the Torah in a dull manner. And if the father is not himself a scholar, he is commanded, “And you shall speak of them.” That is, let him speak with teachers to persuade them to study with his sons. He must also guide his children in the ways of business and proper conduct and in all these matters he must see to it that they do not to transgress the Torah by so much as a hairsbreadth, Heaven forbid.
בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ בְּבֵיתְךָ — צָרִיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג בְּבֵיתוֹ בְּיִרְאָה, וּלְהַנְהִיג בְּנֵי בֵּיתוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בֵּיתוֹ פָּתוּחַ לַעֲנִיִּים, וְשֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה בֵּיתוֹ רָגִיל בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע, וְלֹא יִשָּׁמַע בְּבֵיתוֹ שׁוּם קְלָלָה וּשְׁבוּעָה.
“When you sit in your house.” — One must conduct himself at home with awe of Heaven and guide his household to be open to the poor. One must also see to it that the members of his household are not in the habit of speaking slander or cursing or swearing.
וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ בַדֶּרֶךְ — יַעֲסֹק בַּתּוֹרָה כְּפִי יְכָלְתּוֹ, וְיִתֵּן צְדָקָה לְפִי יְכָלְתּוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁמָּצִינוּ בְּיַעֲקֹב אָבִינוּ שֶׁהָיָה מוּכָן לְדוֹרוֹן וּלְפִיּוּס וּלְמִלְחָמָה. לְדוֹרוֹן — זֶה מַתְּנוֹת עֲנִיִּים, דְּאִקְרִי דּוֹרוֹן לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, כַּנִּזְכָּר בַּזֹּהַר כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים. וּלְפִיּוּס — זוֹ תְּפִלָּה לְרַצּוֹת לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּתְפִלָּה וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים. וּלְמִלְחָמָה — הַיְנוּ מִלְחֲמוֹת הַתּוֹרָה, וּבָזֶה הָיָה מַתִּישׁ כֹּחַ שֶׁל עֵשָׂו הָרָשָׁע וְשַׂר סַמָּאֵל. עַיֵּן שָׁם בַּזֹּהַר פָּרָשַׁת וָאֶתְחַנַּן.
“And when you walk along the way.” — One must engage in study and give charity to the extent of his abilities. Thus we find that Yaakov prepared to meet his brother with three strategies: tribute, appeasement and battle. In our case, “tribute” means giving to the poor, who the Zohar refers to in a number of places as tribute to the Holy One Blessed is He (2:129a, 198a). “Appeasement” means prayer. That is, appeasing the Holy One Blessed is He with prayers and supplications. “Battle” refers to the “battle” of Torah study, through which one weakens the power of the wicked Eisav and his guardian angel, the Samech Mem (SME”L). See what is written in this regard in the Zohar in Parashas Va’eschanan (269a).
וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ — לְהִתְנַהֵג בִּקְדֻשָּׁה לְיַחֵד שְׁמוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא בִּקְרִיאַת שְׁמַע עַל מִטָּתוֹ, וִיקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ.
“And when you lie down.” — One must conduct himself with holiness and unify the name of the Holy One Blessed is He by reciting the bedtime Shema. Moreover, one must behave with sanctity during marital relations.
וּבְקוּמֶךָ — לְהִזְדָּרֵז לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְפַּלֵּל וְלִתֵּן שִׁירוֹת וְתִשְׁבָּחוֹת לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, עַל שֶׁהֶחֱזִיר לוֹ נִשְׁמָתוֹ, וְאַחַר כָּךְ יַעֲסֹק בְּטִיב הָעוֹלָם בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן בֶּאֱמוּנָה.
“And when you rise up.” — One must rise eagerly to pray and offer songs of praise to the Holy One Blessed is He for having restored his soul. Afterwards he may go and engage in his business, in good faith.
עַל כֵּן טוֹב לָאָדָם שֶׁיָּכִין עַצְמוֹ גַּם כֵּן לִשְׁלשָׁה דְּבָרִים הַנִּזְכָּרִים לְעֵיל: לְדוֹרוֹן וּלְפִיּוּס וּלְמִלְחָמָה. דּוֹרוֹן הוּא מַתָּנָה לַעֲנִיִּים קֹדֶם הַתְּפִלָּה שֶׁהִיא הַפִּיּוּס, וְאַחַר כָּךְ יִקְבַּע עִתִּים לַתּוֹרָה, שֶׁהוּא הַמִּלְחָמָה.
Thus it is fitting for a person to prepare for himself the three strategies mentioned above: tribute, appeasement and battle. “Tribute” means giving a gift to the poor before praying. Prayer itself is the “appeasement.” And afterwards let him set aside a fixed time for study, for this is the “battle.”
וְיֵשׁ לְהַעֲרִיךְ גֹּדֶל מַעֲלַת מִלְחֶמֶת הַתּוֹרָה, מִמַּה שֶּׁכָּתוּב בַּזֹּהַר פָּרָשַׁת וַיֵּרָא, וְזֶה לְשׁוֹנוֹ: כְּשֶׁחָלָה רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר הַגָּדוֹל, הַאי יוֹמָא עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת הָיָה. וְאוֹתִיב לִימִינֵיהּ הוֹרְקְנוּס בְּנוֹ, וְהָיָה מְגַלֶּה לֵיהּ עֲמִיקְתָּא וּמִסְתַּרְתָּא. וְאָעלוּ קַמֵּיהּ חַכְמֵי הַדּוֹר, וְאוֹלִיט לְהוּ עַל דְּלָא אָתוּ לְשַׁמְּשָׁא לֵיהּ. בָּכָה רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא וּבִקֵּשׁ מֵאִתּוֹ, שֶׁיִּלְמַד אֵיזֶה דָּבָר עִמּוֹ קֹדֶם מוֹתוֹ. פָּתַח רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בְּמַעֲשֵׂה מֶרְכָּבָה, וְאָתָא אֵשׁ וְאַסְחַר לְתַרְוַיְהוֹן. אָמְרוּ חַכְמֵי הַדּוֹר: לֵית אֲנַן חַזְיָן לְמִשְׁמָע דָּא. נָפְקוּ וְעָמְדוּ בַּפֶּתַח הַחוּצָה וְכוּ', וַהֲוֵי רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹלִיף לָרַבִּי עֲקִיבָא שְׁלשׁ מֵאוֹת הֲלָכוֹת בְּבַהֶרֶת עַזָּה, וְאַחֲר כָּךְ אוֹלִיף לֵיהּ סוֹדוֹת בְּשִׁיר הַשִּׁירִים. וְכַד הֲוֵי מָטֵי לַפָּסוּק: סַמְּכוּנִי בַּאֲשִׁישׁוֹת, רַפְּדוּנִי בַּתַּפּוּחִים, כִּי חוֹלַת אַהֲבָה אֲנִי. לֹא הֲוֵי יָכוֹל רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא לְמִסְבַּל, וְאָרִים קָלֵיהּ בִּבְכִיָּה, וְלָא הֲוֵי מְמַלֵּל מִדְּחִילוּ דִּשְׁכִינְתָּא דַּהֲוֵי תַּמָּן.
It is fitting to elaborate on the loftiness of the “battle” of Torah, and it can be gleaned from this passage from the Zohar (Parashas Vayeira 98a): Rabbi Eliezer the Great took ill on the eve of Shabbos. He seated his son Horknus to his right and began revealing to him deep secrets. Then the great sages of the generation entered and he cursed them for failing to come and learn from him. Rabbi Akiva wept and pleaded with him to teach him something before he died. So Rabbi Eliezer began discussing the mystic speculations of the Divine Chariot and the two of them were surrounded by fire. The sages of the generation said, “Apparently we are not worthy of hearing this.” So they went and stood outside the doorway…. Rabbi Eliezer taught Rabbi Akiva three hundred laws about a stark white plague of the skin. Afterwards he taught him some of the secrets of The Song of Songs [Shir HaShirim]. When he came to the verse, “Support me with goblets; strengthen me with apples, for I am sick with love” (2:5), Rabbi Akiva was unable to withhold himself any longer. He raised his voice and wept, but he did not speak out of fear of the Shechinah that was present.
וְאַחַר כָּךְ הִשְׁבִּיעַ רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אֶת רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא, שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּשׁוּם חַד פָּסוּק מִן שִׁיר הַשִּׁירִים. כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלָא לִחֲרַב עָלְמָא, כִּי הָעוֹלָם אֵין כְּדַאי לְהִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּסוֹד שִׁיר הַשִּׁירִים שֶׁהִיא קֹדֶשׁ קֳדָשִׁים. לְבָתַר זֶה נָפִיק רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא וְזָלְגוּ עֵינוֹהִי דִּמְעִין וְאָמַר: וַי לְעָלְמָא, דְּאִשְׁתָּאַר יָתוֹם מִנָּךְ רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר! וְאַחַר כָּךְ עָאלוּ חַכְמֵי הַדּוֹר וְדִבְּרוּ עִמּוֹ. וּכְשֶׁרָאָה רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר שֶׁהוּא קָרוֹב לִיצִיאַת נִשְׁמָתוֹ, הִנִּיחַ יָדָיו עַל לִבּוֹ וְאָמַר: עָלְמָא עִלָּאָה, נְהִירָא וּבוּצִינָא יִגָּנֵז בְּךָ, שְׁתֵּי תּוֹרוֹת יִשְׁתַּכְּחוּ יוֹמָא דֵּין מִן עָלְמָא דֵּין! וּבְאוֹתוֹ הַפַּעַם לֹא הָיָה רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אֶצְלוֹ. וְשָׁאֲלוּ לֵיהּ חַכְמֵי הַדּוֹר: סַנְדָּל שֶׁל יָבָם מְקַבֵּל טֻמְאָה אוֹ לָאו? אָמַר רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר: טָהוֹר! וְיָצְאָה נִשְׁמָתוֹ בְּטָהֳרָה. בְּמוֹצָאֵי שַׁבָּת בָּא רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא לְבַקְּרוֹ וּמְצָאוֹ שֶׁמֵּת רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר. קָרַע לַלְּבוּשִׁים וּבָכָה וְכוּ', וְהָיָה צוֹוֵחַ וְאוֹמֵר: שְׁמַיָּא שְׁמַיָּא! אִמְרוּ לְשִׁמְשָׁא וּלְסִהֲרָא דִּנְהִירוּ, דַּהֲוֵי יָתִיר מִנְּהוֹן הָא אִתְחַשַּׁךְ.
Afterwards Rabbi Eliezer made Rabbi Akiva swear not to make practical use of any verse from Shir HaShirim lest the world be destroyed, for the world is unworthy of benefiting from the secrets of Shir HaShirim, for it is the Holy of Holies. Afterwards Rabbi Akiva went out, his eyes streaming with tears, and declared, “Woe to the world that is orphaned of you Rabbi Eliezer! Then the sages of the generation entered and spoke with him words of Torah. And when Rabbi Eliezer saw that his soul was near to expiring he placed his hands upon his heart and said, “The supernal world, the light and the illumination will all be hidden away in you. The two Torahs will be forgotten from this world this day!” At that time Rabbi Akiva was not with him. The sages of the generation asked him, “Is the sandal used in the releasing ceremony from the levirate marriage susceptible to defilement or not?” Rabbi Eliezer said, “It is pure,” and his soul expired with the word “pure.” After Shabbos Rabbi Akiva came to visit him and discovered that Rabbi Eliezer was dead. He rent his garment and wept…And he cried out, saying, “O Heaven! O Heaven! Tell the sun and the moon that the light that used to shine more brightly than them has been darkened.”
אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוּדָה: בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁנִּשְׁמַת הַצַּדִּיק רוֹצֶה לָצֵאת מֵהַגּוּף, אֲזַי הִיא בְּשִׂמְחָה מֵחֲמַת הַבִּטָחוֹן שֶׁיְּקַבֵּל שָׂכָר בָּעוֹלָם הַבָּא. וּכְשֶׁרוֹאָה הַשְּׁכִינָה וּמַלְאָכִין קַדִּישִׁין וְנִשְׁמוֹת צַדִּיקִים קְדוֹשִׁים הוֹלְכִין לִקְרָאתָהּ לְלַוּוֹת אֶת הַנְּשָׁמָה — אֲזַי הִיא יוֹצֵאת בִּמְרוּצָה מֵהַגּוּף אֲשֶׁר הִיא שָׁם, וּמִשְׁתַּחֲוָה אַרְצָה נֶגֶד הַשְּׁכִינָה (עַיֵּן שָׁם בַּמִּדְרָשׁ הַנֶּעֱלָם וְתִמְצָא נַחַת).
Rabbi Yehudah said, “When the soul of a righteous person prepares to exit the body it rejoices because of its faith that it will be rewarded in the World to Come. And when it beholds the Shechinah, the holy angels and the souls of the righteous coming to meet and accompany it, it flies out of the body in which it had been installed and bows to the ground before the Shechinah [see Midrash HaNe’elam, ad loc., and find satisfaction].
עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהִתְפַּלֵּל עַל זֶה כְּשֶׁיָּבוֹא יוֹם קִצּוֹ, שֶׁתָּבוֹא הַשְּׁכִינָה אֵלָיו וְיָמוּת מִיתַת נְשִׁיקָה, מִיתָה שֶׁל שֵׂיבָה טוֹבָה. וּכְשֶׁהַשְּׁכִינָה בָּאָה אֵלָיו, אֲזַי שְׁלשָׁה כִּתּוֹת מַלְאָכִים עִמָּהּ. אַחַת אוֹמֶרֶת שָׁלוֹם וְכוּ'.
Therefore a person should pray that when his end arrives, the Shechinah will come to him, too, and that he will die the death of a kiss in ripe old age. When the Shechinah does come, it is accompanied by three groups of angels (Kesuvos 104a). One says, “Come in peace!” One says, “Go straight ahead!” (Yeshayahu 57:2). And one says, “Let him come in peace; they shall rest upon their beds” (ibid.)