There are eleven sources of defilement: 1. contact with the dead; 2. contact with the carcasses of certain small creatures; 3. contact with the carcasses of larger animals; 4. contact with semen; 5. contact with the purification water used after contact with the dead; 6. involvement in the preparation of the ashes of the red cow; 7. tumas zav (a certain abnormal emission in a male); 8. tumas zavah (a certain abnormal flow of blood in a woman); 9. menstruation; 10. childbirth; 11. tzara’as (a certain spiritually-induced skin disease). These eleven sources of defilement hint at the various worlds of defilement inhabited by the chitzonim (a type of malignant spirit), who derive their sustenance from the eleven emanations (sefiros) of defilement. Corresponding to the eleven emanations are the eleven ingredients of the incense used in the Temple service, the function of which was to weaken the power of the emanations of defilement. It follows that if a person takes precautions to avoid these forms of defilement he distances himself from the influence of the chitzonim at the same time. But if he is drawn towards these sources of defilement, he envelops himself with and roots himself in the sources of impurity.
One must appreciate the great power of menstrual defilement. There are one thousand four hundred and five types of chitzonim that dwell on the portion of a woman’s fingernail that grows during the time of menstruation! That is why the Holy One Blessed is He commanded that she cut her fingernails at the time of her purification. And let her be careful not to cast them in a place where people walk, for the one who treads upon them, even with shoes on, may come to harm, Heaven forbid. Sorcerers use these nails in their sorcery and female sorcerers try to conduct their craft specifically during menstruation because that is when their spells have the best chance of succeeding. Therefore a man should avoid interacting with his menstruating wife to the greatest extent possible, even through speech and certainly through sight. Let him restrict himself to the absolutely necessary and adopt every precaution to avoid eating together with her from the same bowl. Other members of the household should also avoid eating with the menstruating woman, for traces of her saliva may remain on the spoon and then be introduced into the bowl, thereby exposing them to danger.
It once happened that a certain fellow saw in his dream that his feet were soiled with excrement. When he awoke the following morning he was very disturbed, for he knew that he had not experienced this dream in vain. So he went and related the dream to the Ari, z”l, who responded, “Your bed is too close to that of your menstruating wife. In the course of the night while you were asleep your uppermost blanket came into contact with your wife’s bed.” Upon hearing this the man immediately went home and corrected the matter, separating the two beds properly. Afterwards the Ari then mentioned to his disciples that as a rule dreams are sent as warning of the transgressions that a person is guilty of.
Therefore let a man adopt every precautionary measure to distance himself from his wife while she is menstruating. And let him also instruct his sons from early childhood to avoid coming into contact with a menstruating woman. If a man is careful to avoid contact with his wife until she is purified he should know that during that time the Shechinah itself becomes his partner, as is related in the Zohar (Bereishis 50a). After his wife is purified let him join with her modestly, as the Zohar admonishes in Parashas Vayishlach (165b): “Let him behave with modesty in marital relations out of deference to the two angels on his right and on his left, the good inclination and the evil inclination.” Elsewhere it is written in the Zohar (ibid. 176a): “Wherever marital relations [are performed for the sake] of a mitzvah are to be found, the Shechinah dwells there,” provided that he sanctifies himself at that time. And let him reflect that Hashem created the eighteen vertebrae of the spine, through which seed passes from the brain to the site of the covenant. Corresponding to these eighteen vertebrae our Rabbis instituted the eighteen blessings that we recite three times a day in our prayers. And in every blessing we mention the Divine name.
Correspondingly, he should contemplate the holiness of the Divine name at that time, as is mentioned in Ra’ya Meheimna (Parashas Kedoshim 126b): Fortunate are the limbs that are sanctified at the time of marital relations, for they are like the logs of a burnt offering, to which the holy fire attaches itself, and then the name of Hashem adheres to them. For this reason it is written: “With pyres shall you honor Hashem” (Yeshayahu 24:15). Similarly, it is written elsewhere in the Zohar (Parashas Metzora 56a): At the time of marital relations a man should reflect upon the will of his Creator in order that he bring holy children into the world. And in Parashas Kedoshim (84a): When Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai was walking through town with his disciples following after him and he spotted a woman, he would lower his eyes and say to his colleagues, “Do not turn to look, for whoever looks upon a woman in the daytime will have forbidden thoughts at night. And if a man has relations with his wife while engaging in forbidden thoughts it is said of the children thus conceived, ‘Do not make for yourself molten gods’ (Shemos 34:17). As rule from these come the apostates.
There are several kinds of conduct on the part of the parents that result in epileptic offspring, Heaven spare us. I will mention here just a few of them so that a person will affix them in his heart and then pass on to his children so that they will also observe them: First: It is explicit in the Gemara (Pesachim 112b) and in the Zohar (Introduction to Bereishis 14b) that one who has relations by the light of a lamp will bear epileptic children, Heaven forbid, and even more so by the light of the moon. Second: If a man sees the image of a woman in a dream, even if it is the image of his wife or an unmarried woman, and awakens filled with passion and desire he must not have relations with his wife in the heat of that desire. For if he does so, the child thus conceived will be subject to epileptic attacks whenever the moon is full, Heaven forbid, with no possibility of a cure his entire life. For the image that appeared to him was the female demon known as Na’amah. Thus the Zohar (Part III 77a) writes: “since it was out of desire for her (i.e., Na’amah) that he had relations, the child will be born from her side … and so he will be affected at each and every moon.” Third: The Zohar warns in Parashas Vayikra (19a) that a woman must be very careful not to nurse her infant for a full hour after marital relations. And even if he cries, let her make every effort to pacify him until at least half an hour has passed. In any event she must not nurse during the first half an hour, Heaven forbid. The reason for this is explained there. Fourth: It is taught in Pesachim (112b) that they must not have relations on a bed upon which a child is lying, for this poses a danger to the fetus thus conceived. The Zohar has amazing things to say about this.
The general rule is that they must conduct themselves with modesty and confine their relations to the time that is designated for this, that is, after midnight when all the members of the household are asleep. And let them be careful not to have relations in the presence of any living creature. Thus the Gemara relates that Abaye used to chase away the mosquitoes and Rova used to chase away the flies. In Zohar Chadash (15a) it is taught in the name of Rav Huna: “A person must sanctify himself to the name of Heaven at the time of relations, as it is written, ‘If Hashem does not build a house, its builders have toiled in vain’ (Tehillim 127a).” The idea is this: If their intentions are not for the sake of Heaven, to produce God-fearing and scholarly children, but for the sake of their own pleasure, then their toil is “in vain” because their intentions are for pure vanity. That is, to satisfy the evil inclination and fulfill their alien thoughts of pleasure.
The Zohar continues: Rabbi Yose ben Pazi said: One time I was walking along the road when I came upon the mountain that is near the village of Kardo. There I found people who were happy with their lot and dealt with one another in good faith. And there was neither jealousy nor hatred among them. I arrived on Shabbos eve and saw my host standing to one side praying while his wife stood to another side praying. I asked them, “What is this prayer that you are saying at this hour?” They told me, “Our time for marital relations is every Shabbos night, so we pray to the Holy One Blessed is He that we will be granted a child who will toil in Torah and fear sin … ” I said to them, “May it be Heaven’s will that your request be fulfilled, for your deeds are for the sake of Heaven.”
Rabbi Yose said: May I behold the Shechinah (a form of oath to the truth his testimony), I came to the same village several years later and saw the child that was born to them. He was now seven years old. I wanted to speak to him but he refused! His father told him, “Go to the man, for he is of great stature.” But the child said, “I am afraid to speak with him or even to approach him since I do not know whether he possesses a holy soul or not. For my teacher taught me just today that it is forbidden to speak with or approach anyone who does not have a holy soul.” His father said to him, “Heaven forbid! He is a man of great stature and one of the greatest scholars of the generation!” So the child approached me. But before he had a chance to say anything else to me he said, “I see that you possess a new soul that has only recently entered and was not imbued in you at the time that you entered the world.” I replied in astonishment, “That is indeed the case! For when I was a young student toiling in Torah I was imbued with a new soul.” Then I asked, “Who is your teacher?” He replied, “Rabbi Alexandrus.” “And what did you study today?” He said to me, “This verse, ‘The beginning of wisdom is the fear of Hashem; they have good understanding all those who do the commandments’ (Tehillim 111:10). Our Rabbis have interpreted: ‘Those who do for the sake of Heaven.’ ” And his teacher revealed to him amazing insights. I said to him, “What is your name?” He answered, “Ahavah” (i.e., “Love”). I said to him, “Master Ahavah, ‘I have loved you with an eternal love’ (Yirmeyahu 31:2).” I also had the merit of meeting his son, Rabbi Ada the son of Rabbi Ahavah, and related to him all the above.
Therefore a person must sanctify himself at the time of marital relations so that he will merit sons who are Torah scholars. And let him pray throughout the first forty days: “May it be the will of the Master of the Universe that we merit God-fearing and flawless sons who tremble at the word of Hashem. And may we observe in them the sanctity of the Sages of the Mishnah and Talmud. Amein.” In Chapter Eighteen I will explain that all of a person’s deeds should be for the sake of Heaven.
חֶלְקֵי הַטֻּמְאָה הֵן אַחַד עָשָׂר: טֻמְאַת מֵת; טֻמְאַת שֶׁרֶץ; טֻמְאַת נְבֵלָה; טֻמְאַת שִׁכְבַת זֶרַע; טֻמְאַת מֵי חַטָּאת; טֻמְאַת פָּרָה אֲדֻמָּה, כָּל הָעוֹסֵק בָּהּ; טֻמְאַת זָב; טֻמְאַת זָבָה; טֻמְאַת נִדָּה; טֻמְאַת יוֹלֶדֶת; טֻמְאַת צָרַעַת. וְהֵן מְרַמְּזִין עַל עוֹלָמוֹת הַטֻּמְאָה שֶׁל חִיצוֹנִים, שֶׁחַיּוּתָן נִשְׁתַּלְשֵׁל מֵאַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה סְפִירוֹת הַטֻּמְאָה, שֶׁכְּנֶגְדָּן הֵם אַחַד עָשָׂר סַמָּנֵי הַקְּטֹרֶת לְהַתִּישׁ כֹּחָם. וְנִמְצָא בִּהְיוֹת הָאָדָם נִזְהָר לִגְדֹּר גָּדֵר וּלְשַׁמֵּר עַצְמוֹ מִן הַטֻּמְאוֹת הַנִּזְכָּרִים, הֲרֵי הוּא מֻבְדָּל וּמֻפְרָשׁ מִכֹּחוֹת הַחִיצוֹנִים. אֲבָל אִם הוּא נִמְשָׁךְ אַחַר הַטֻּמְאָה, הֲרֵי הוּא מְלֻבָּשׁ וּמֻשְׁרָשׁ בִּמְקוֹר הַטֻּמְאָה.
There are eleven sources of defilement: 1. contact with the dead; 2. contact with the carcasses of certain small creatures; 3. contact with the carcasses of larger animals; 4. contact with semen; 5. contact with the purification water used after contact with the dead; 6. involvement in the preparation of the ashes of the red cow; 7. tumas zav (a certain abnormal emission in a male); 8. tumas zavah (a certain abnormal flow of blood in a woman); 9. menstruation; 10. childbirth; 11. tzara’as (a certain spiritually-induced skin disease). These eleven sources of defilement hint at the various worlds of defilement inhabited by the chitzonim (a type of malignant spirit), who derive their sustenance from the eleven emanations (sefiros) of defilement. Corresponding to the eleven emanations are the eleven ingredients of the incense used in the Temple service, the function of which was to weaken the power of the emanations of defilement. It follows that if a person takes precautions to avoid these forms of defilement he distances himself from the influence of the chitzonim at the same time. But if he is drawn towards these sources of defilement, he envelops himself with and roots himself in the sources of impurity.
וְהִנֵּה צָרִיךְ שֶׁתֵּדַע גֹּדֶל כֹּחַ הַטֻּמְאָה הַזֶּה, כִּי אֶלֶף וְאַרְבַּע מֵאוֹת וַחֲמִשָּׁה מִינֵי חִיצוֹנִים שְׁרוּיִין עַל הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם, הַגְּדֵלִין בִּימֵי נִדָּה שֶׁל הָאִשָּׁה, וְעַל כֵּן צִוָּה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא שֶׁתָּקֹץ הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם, כְּשֶׁבָּאָה הָאִשָּׁה לִטָּהֵר, וְתִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְהַשְׁלִיכָם בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁעוֹבְרִים בְּנֵי אָדָם, כִּי הַדּוֹרֵךְ עֲלֵיהֶם, אֲפִלּוּ בְּמִנְעָלִים בְּרַגְלָיו, יָכוֹל לְהִנָּזֵק, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם. וְהַמְכַשְּׁפִים עוֹשִׂים כִּשּׁוּף בְּאִנּוּן הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם, וְכָל מַכְשֵׁפָה מְמַהֶרֶת לִפְעֹל בִּכְשָׁפֶיהָ דַּוְקָא בִּימֵי נִדָּתָהּ, כִּי אָז הַכִּשּׁוּף הוּא מַצְלִיחַ יוֹתֵר. עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְהִתְרַחֵק בְּכָל הַרְחָקוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מֵאִשָּׁה נִדָּה, הֵן בְּדִבּוּר, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁלֹּא לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בָּהּ, כִּי אִם מְעַט מִזְּעֵיר עַל פִּי הֶכְרֵחַ, וְלִנְהֹג בְּכָל מִינֵי חֻמְרוֹת בְּעִנְיַן לִמְנֹעַ מִלֶּאֶכֹל עִמָּהּ בִּקְעָרָה אַחַת. וַאֲפִלּוּ שְׁאָר בְּנֵי בַּיִת לֹא יֹאכְלוּ עִם אִשָּׁה נִדָּה, כִּי שִׁיּוּרֵי הָרֹק מִפִּיהָ, הַבָּא לְתוֹךְ הַכַּף, וּמֵהַכַּף — לְתוֹךְ הַקְּעָרָה, הוּא גּוֹרֵם שֶׁיָּבוֹא אָדָם לִידֵי סַכָּנָה.
One must appreciate the great power of menstrual defilement. There are one thousand four hundred and five types of chitzonim that dwell on the portion of a woman’s fingernail that grows during the time of menstruation! That is why the Holy One Blessed is He commanded that she cut her fingernails at the time of her purification. And let her be careful not to cast them in a place where people walk, for the one who treads upon them, even with shoes on, may come to harm, Heaven forbid. Sorcerers use these nails in their sorcery and female sorcerers try to conduct their craft specifically during menstruation because that is when their spells have the best chance of succeeding. Therefore a man should avoid interacting with his menstruating wife to the greatest extent possible, even through speech and certainly through sight. Let him restrict himself to the absolutely necessary and adopt every precaution to avoid eating together with her from the same bowl. Other members of the household should also avoid eating with the menstruating woman, for traces of her saliva may remain on the spoon and then be introduced into the bowl, thereby exposing them to danger.
וּמַעֲשֶׂה בְּאִישׁ אֶחָד, שֶׁרָאָה בַּחֲלוֹמוֹ שֶׁרַגְלָיו הָיוּ מְלֻכְלָכִים בְּצוֹאָה, וַתִּפָּעֵם רוּחוֹ בַּבֹּקֶר, כִּי לֹא לְחִנָּם הָיָה זֶה הַחֲלוֹם. וְהָלַךְ הָאִישׁ וְסִפֵּר לוֹ, לְהָרַב הָאֲרִ"י, זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה, הַחֲלוֹם הַנִּזְכָּר לְעֵיל. וְהֵשִׁיב לוֹ הָאֲרִ"י, זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה, שֶׁמִּטָּתְךָ הוּא קָרוֹב לַמִּטָּה, אֲשֶׁר שָׁכְבָה עָלֶיהָ אִשְׁתְּךָ נִדָּה, וְעַל יְדֵי הַשֵּׁנָה, שֶׁיָּשַׁן בַּלַּיְלָה, נָגְעָה כַּר הָעֶלְיוֹן, שֶׁמְּכַסֶּה בּוֹ, בְּמִטַּת אִשָּׁה נִדָּה. וְהָלַךְ תֵּכֶף הָאִישׁ לְבֵיתוֹ וְתִקֵּן וְהִרְחִיק מִטָּתוֹ מִן מִטָּה שֶׁל אִשְׁתּוֹ. וְאָמַר הָאֲרִ"י, זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה, לְתַלְמִידָיו, כִּי עַל פִּי הָרֹב הַחֲלוֹמוֹת בָּאִין וּמַזְהִירִין לְהָאָדָם, שֶׁהֵן נִכְשָׁלִים בְּאֵיזֶה עֲבֵרָה.
It once happened that a certain fellow saw in his dream that his feet were soiled with excrement. When he awoke the following morning he was very disturbed, for he knew that he had not experienced this dream in vain. So he went and related the dream to the Ari, z”l, who responded, “Your bed is too close to that of your menstruating wife. In the course of the night while you were asleep your uppermost blanket came into contact with your wife’s bed.” Upon hearing this the man immediately went home and corrected the matter, separating the two beds properly. Afterwards the Ari then mentioned to his disciples that as a rule dreams are sent as warning of the transgressions that a person is guilty of.
עַל כֵּן יִרְאֶה הָאָדָם לְהַרְחִיק בְּכָל מִינֵי הַרְחָקוֹת מֵאִשְׁתּוֹ נִדָּה וּלְלַמֵּד אֶת בָּנָיו הַקְּטַנִּים לְהַרְחִיקָם בְּיַלְדוּתֵיהֶן מֵהָאִשָּׁה נִדָּה. וּבִהְיוֹת הָאָדָם נִזְהָר לְהַרְחִיק וּלְהַחְמִיר מֵאִשְׁתּוֹ נִדָּה עַד שֶׁתִּטָּהֵר, אֲזַי תֵּדַע, דְּזִוּוּגָא שְׁכִינְתָא בַּהֲדֵיהּ, כִּדְאִיתָא בְּזֹהַר בְּרֵאשִׁית, עַיֵּן שָׁם. וּכְשֶׁיַּגִּיעַ הָעֵת שֶׁתִּטְהַר, יִתְחַבֵּר בַּהֲדַהּ בִּצְנִיעוּת, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁמַּזְהִיר הַזֹּהַר, פָּרָשַׁת וַיֵּצֵא: הֱוֵי צָנוּעַ בְּתַשְׁמִישׁ מִפְּנֵי אִנּוּן תְּרֵין מַלְאָכִין, דְּאִנּוּן מִימִינוֹ וּמִשְּׂמֹאלוֹ יֵצֶר טוֹב וְיֵצֶר הָרָע. וְאִיתָא עוֹד שָׁם: בְּכָל אֲתַר דְּשִׁמּוּשָׁא דְּמִצְוָה אִשְׁתַּכַּח, שְׁכִינְתָא שַׁרְיָא עַל הַהוּא אַתְרָא. וּבְאֹפֶן שֶׁיִּתְקַדֵּשׁ בְּאוֹתוֹ פַּעַם וְיַחֲשֹׁב, כִּי ה' יִתְבָּרַךְ, בָּרוּךְ הוּא, בָּרָא שְׁמוֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה חֻלְיוֹת בְּחוּט הַשִּׁדְרָה שֶׁל הָאָדָם, וְדֶרֶךְ שָׁם זֶרַע עוֹבֶרֶת מִן הַמֹּחַ עַד הַבְּרִית, וּכְנֶגְדָּן תִּקְּנוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה שְׁמוֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה בְּרָכוֹת, שֶׁאָנוּ מִתְפַּלְּלִין שָׁלשׁ פְּעָמִים בְּכָל יוֹם, וּבְכָל בְּרָכָה — אַזְכָּרַת ה'.
Therefore let a man adopt every precautionary measure to distance himself from his wife while she is menstruating. And let him also instruct his sons from early childhood to avoid coming into contact with a menstruating woman. If a man is careful to avoid contact with his wife until she is purified he should know that during that time the Shechinah itself becomes his partner, as is related in the Zohar (Bereishis 50a). After his wife is purified let him join with her modestly, as the Zohar admonishes in Parashas Vayishlach (165b): “Let him behave with modesty in marital relations out of deference to the two angels on his right and on his left, the good inclination and the evil inclination.” Elsewhere it is written in the Zohar (ibid. 176a): “Wherever marital relations [are performed for the sake] of a mitzvah are to be found, the Shechinah dwells there,” provided that he sanctifies himself at that time. And let him reflect that Hashem created the eighteen vertebrae of the spine, through which seed passes from the brain to the site of the covenant. Corresponding to these eighteen vertebrae our Rabbis instituted the eighteen blessings that we recite three times a day in our prayers. And in every blessing we mention the Divine name.
וּכְנֶגֶד זֶה גַּם כֵּן יִהְיֶה מַחֲשָׁבָה בִּקְדֻשַּׁת שְׁמוֹ בְּאוֹתוֹ פַּעַם. וּכְבָר הֵעִיר עַל זֶה בְּרַעְיָא מְהֵימְנָא, פָּרָשַׁת קְדשִׁים: זַכָּאִין אִנּוּן אֵבָרִים, דְּמִתְקַדְּשִׁין בִּשְׁעַת הַחִבּוּר, דְּאִנּוּן עֲצֵי הָעוֹלָה, דַּאֲחִידָן בְּהוּ עֵצִים קַדִּישִׁין כו', וְשֵׁם ה' דְּאָחִיז בְּעֵצִים דִּלְּהוֹן, וּבְגִין דָּא: בָּאוּרִים כַּבְּדוּ ה' (יְשַׁעְיָה כד, טו). וְכֵן הוּא בְּזֹהַר מְצֹרָע: בָּעֵי בַּר נָשׁ לְכַוְּנָא בְּהַהִיא שַׁעְתָּא בִּרְעוּתֵיהּ דְּמָארֵי בְּגִין דְּיִפּוֹק בְּנִין קַדִּישִׁין לְעָלְמָא. וְאִיתָא שָׁם בַּזֹּהַר, פָּרָשַׁת קְדשִׁים: כַּד הֲוֵי רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחַאי אָזִיל בְּמַתָּא, וַהֲווּ אָזְלִין אֲבַתְרֵיהּ, וַחֲמָא לְאִנְתּוּ — מָאִיךְ עֵינֵיהּ וַהֲוֵי אָמַר לְחַבְרַיָּא: אַל תִּפְנוּ, וְכָל מָאן דְּיִסְתַּכֵּל בְּאִתְּתָא בִּימָמָא, אָתֵי לְהִרְהוּרֵי בַּלַּיְלָה; וְאִי שָׁמִישׁ בַּר נָשׁ בְּאִנְתְּתֵיהּ בִּזְמַנָּא דְּסָלִיק הַהוּא הִרְהוּרָא בִּישָׁא, אִנּוּן בְּנִין דְּאוֹלִידוּ אִקְרוּן, אֱלֹהֵי מַסֵּכָה לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה לָךְ. וּמִזֶּה בָּאִים עַל פִּי הָרֹב בָּנִין מְשׁוּמָּדִין.
Correspondingly, he should contemplate the holiness of the Divine name at that time, as is mentioned in Ra’ya Meheimna (Parashas Kedoshim 126b): Fortunate are the limbs that are sanctified at the time of marital relations, for they are like the logs of a burnt offering, to which the holy fire attaches itself, and then the name of Hashem adheres to them. For this reason it is written: “With pyres shall you honor Hashem” (Yeshayahu 24:15). Similarly, it is written elsewhere in the Zohar (Parashas Metzora 56a): At the time of marital relations a man should reflect upon the will of his Creator in order that he bring holy children into the world. And in Parashas Kedoshim (84a): When Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai was walking through town with his disciples following after him and he spotted a woman, he would lower his eyes and say to his colleagues, “Do not turn to look, for whoever looks upon a woman in the daytime will have forbidden thoughts at night. And if a man has relations with his wife while engaging in forbidden thoughts it is said of the children thus conceived, ‘Do not make for yourself molten gods’ (Shemos 34:17). As rule from these come the apostates.
וְהִנֵּה יֵשׁ כַּמָּה דְּבָרִים, אֲשֶׁר מֵהֵם הַתִּינוֹקוֹת נַעֲשִׂין בַּעֲלֵי נִכְפִּין, רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלַן, עַל יְדֵי מַעֲשֵׂה אֲבִיהֶם וְאִמָּם. וְהִנְנִי מַזְכִּיר כָּאן אֵיזֶה דְּבָרִים, שֶׁצָּרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְקָשְׁרָם אֶל לִבָּם וּלְהוֹרוֹת לִבְנֵיהֶם, שֶׁיִּזָהֲרוּ בָּזֶה שֶׁלֹּא לַעֲשׂוֹתָם: הָרִאשׁוֹן, הַמְפֹרָשׁ בַּגְּמָרָא וּבַזֹּהַר: הַמְשַׁמֵּשׁ מִטָּתוֹ לְאוֹר הַנֵּר, הֲווּ הַבָּנִים נִכְפִּים, בַּר מִנַּן, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁאָסוּר לְשַׁמֵּשׁ מִטָּתוֹ לְאוֹר הַלְּבָנָה. וְהַשֵּׁנִי: כְּשֶׁאָדָם רוֹאֶה בַּחֲלוֹם דְּמוּת אֵיזֶה אִשָּׁה, וַאֲפִלּו דְּמוּת אִשְׁתּוֹ אוֹ בְּתוּלָה, וּמִתְעוֹרֵר בְּחֵשֶׁק וְתַאֲוָה בִּשְׁנָתוֹ, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה הַתַּאֲוָה אַחַר כָּךְ נִזְקָק לְאִשְׁתּוֹ, אֲזַי אוֹתוֹ הַיֶּלֶד שֶׁיִּוָּלֵד עַל יְדֵי אוֹתוֹ הַחִבּוּר שֶׁל תַּאֲוָה, יִהְיֶה הַוָּלָד בַּעַל נִכְפֶּה, בַּר מִנַּן, בְּכָל פַּעַם שֶׁהַלְּבָנָה הִיא בְּחִדּוּשָׁהּ, וְאֵין לוֹ תְּרוּפָה וּרְפוּאָה לְמַכָּתוֹ כְּלָל כָּל יְמֵי חַיָּיו. כִּי אוֹתוֹ דְּמוּת שֶׁנִּתְרָאָה לְפָנָיו בַּחֲלוֹם, הוּא הַשֵּׁדִית, הַנִּקְרֵאת נַעֲמָה, וּבַתַּאֲוָה דִּילַהּ נִזְקָק לְאִשְׁתּוֹ, עַל כֵּן הַוָּלָד הוּא מִסִּטְרָא דָא, דְּהָא בְּסֵאוּבְתָא דִּילֵהּ אִשְׁתְּכַּח, וְהַאי הוּא בַּר נָשׁ דִּבְכָל סִיהֲרָא וְסִיהֲרָא אִתְפָּגִים, בַּר מִנַּן. הַשְּׁלִישִׁי: הוּא מַאי דְּמַזְהִיר בַּזֹּהַר, פָּרָשַׁת וַיִּקְרָא, שֶׁיַּזְהִיר מְאֹד, שֶׁלֹּא תֵּינִיק אֶת בְּנָהּ אַחַר הַחִבּוּר עַד אַחַר שָׁעָה. וְאַף אִם הַוָּלָד בּוֹכֶה, עַל כָּל פָּנִים יִרְאֶה בְּכָל מַה דְּאֶפְשָׁר לְהַשְׁתִּיקוֹ עַד חֲצִי שָׁעָה. עַל כָּל פָּנִים לֹא תֵּינִיק מִקֹּדֶם, וְחָלִילָה בְּתוֹךְ חֲצִי שָׁעָה רִאשׁוֹנָה. עַיֵּן שָׁם הַטַּעַם. הָרְבִיעִי: מַאי דִּמְבֹאָר בִּגְמָרָא דִּידָן, שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁכַּב הַיֶּלֶד בַּמִּטָּה בִּשְׁעַת הַחִבּוּר, כִּי זֶה גּוֹרֵם סַכָּנָה לַוָּלָד הַנּוֹצָר, וְיֵשׁ בַּזֹּהַר סוֹד נִפְלָא.
There are several kinds of conduct on the part of the parents that result in epileptic offspring, Heaven spare us. I will mention here just a few of them so that a person will affix them in his heart and then pass on to his children so that they will also observe them: First: It is explicit in the Gemara (Pesachim 112b) and in the Zohar (Introduction to Bereishis 14b) that one who has relations by the light of a lamp will bear epileptic children, Heaven forbid, and even more so by the light of the moon. Second: If a man sees the image of a woman in a dream, even if it is the image of his wife or an unmarried woman, and awakens filled with passion and desire he must not have relations with his wife in the heat of that desire. For if he does so, the child thus conceived will be subject to epileptic attacks whenever the moon is full, Heaven forbid, with no possibility of a cure his entire life. For the image that appeared to him was the female demon known as Na’amah. Thus the Zohar (Part III 77a) writes: “since it was out of desire for her (i.e., Na’amah) that he had relations, the child will be born from her side … and so he will be affected at each and every moon.” Third: The Zohar warns in Parashas Vayikra (19a) that a woman must be very careful not to nurse her infant for a full hour after marital relations. And even if he cries, let her make every effort to pacify him until at least half an hour has passed. In any event she must not nurse during the first half an hour, Heaven forbid. The reason for this is explained there. Fourth: It is taught in Pesachim (112b) that they must not have relations on a bed upon which a child is lying, for this poses a danger to the fetus thus conceived. The Zohar has amazing things to say about this.
וְהַכְּלָל עִקָּר לְהִתְנַהֵג בִּצְנִיעוּת, וּבַזְּמַן הַמְיֻחָד לְזֶה, שֶׁהוּא אַחַר חֲצוֹת לַיְלָה, בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁבְּנֵי הַבַּיִת הֵן יְשֵׁנִים, וְיִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְהִתְחַבֵּר בִּפְנֵי בַּעֲלֵי חַיִּים, כִּדְאִיתָא בַּגְּמָרָא: אַבַּיֵּי — בָּאלֵי פְּרוּחֵי, רָבָא — בָּאלֵי דִּידְבֵי. וְאִיתָא בַּזֹּהַר חָדָשׁ (דַּף יז, ב): אָמַר רַבִּי הוּנָא: צָרִיךְ שֶׁיְּקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם בִּשְׁעַת הַחִבּוּר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תְּהִלִּים קכז, א): "אִם ה' לֹא יִבְנֶה בַּיִת, שָׁוְא עָמְלוּ בּוֹנָיו בּוֹ". כְּלוֹמַר, אִם אֵין הַכַּוָּנָה לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם, לְהוֹלִיד בָּנִים, שֶׁיִּהְיוּ בַּעֲלֵי תּוֹרָה, בַּעֲלֵי יִרְאָה, אֶלָּא לַהֲנָאַת עַצְמוֹ, שָׁוְא עָמְלוּ בּוֹנָיו בּוֹ, שֶׁמְּכַוְּנִים עָמָל שֶׁל שָׁוְא בְּאוֹתוֹ הַיֶּלֶד, וְהוּא גּוֹרֵם הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע וְגַם הַמַּחֲשָׁבָה זָרָה, שֶׁמְּכַוֵּן לְתַעֲנוּג.
The general rule is that they must conduct themselves with modesty and confine their relations to the time that is designated for this, that is, after midnight when all the members of the household are asleep. And let them be careful not to have relations in the presence of any living creature. Thus the Gemara relates that Abaye used to chase away the mosquitoes and Rova used to chase away the flies. In Zohar Chadash (15a) it is taught in the name of Rav Huna: “A person must sanctify himself to the name of Heaven at the time of relations, as it is written, ‘If Hashem does not build a house, its builders have toiled in vain’ (Tehillim 127a).” The idea is this: If their intentions are not for the sake of Heaven, to produce God-fearing and scholarly children, but for the sake of their own pleasure, then their toil is “in vain” because their intentions are for pure vanity. That is, to satisfy the evil inclination and fulfill their alien thoughts of pleasure.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנָן: אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בֶּן פַּזִּי: זִמְנָא חֲדָא הֲוֵינָא אָזִיל בְּאוֹרְחָא וַעֲרַעְנָא בַּהֲדֵי טוּרָא לִכְפַר קַרְדּוּ, וַהֲווּ גֻּבְרֵי בְּדִיחֵי בְּחֶלְקֵיהוֹן (רָצָה לוֹמַר, שֶׁהָיוּ שְׂמֵחִים בְּחֶלְקָם) וּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁלָּהֶם בֶּאֱמוּנָה, וְלֹא הָיָה קִנְאָה וְשִׂנְאָה בֵּינֵיהוֹן, וּבַהּ בְּשַׁבְּתָא בַּלַּיְלָה חֲמִיתֵי לְאֻשְׁפְּזַאי דְּקָאֵי בְּהַאי גִּיסָא וּמַצְלֵי, וּדְבֵיתְהוּ קַמְתְּ בְּאִידָךְ גִּיסָא וּמַצְלֵית. אַמְרֵית לְהוֹן: מַאי צְלוֹתֵיכוֹן בְּשַׁעְתָּא דָּא? אַמְרֵי: עִדָּנָא דִּידַן לְזִוּוּגָא מִשַּׁבָּת לְשַׁבָּת, וּמַצְלִינָן צְלוֹתָא קַמֵּיהּ קֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא, דִּיהֵא לָנוּ בַּר, דְּיִפְלַח בְּאוֹרַיְתָא, וְיִהְיֶה בַּר דְּדָחִיל חֲטָאִין וְכוּ'. אָמַרְתִּי לָהֶם: יְהֵא רַעֲוָא, דְּיִתְקַיֵּם בָּעוּתֵיכוֹן, דְהָא לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם קָא עֲבִדְתּוּן.
The Zohar continues: Rabbi Yose ben Pazi said: One time I was walking along the road when I came upon the mountain that is near the village of Kardo. There I found people who were happy with their lot and dealt with one another in good faith. And there was neither jealousy nor hatred among them. I arrived on Shabbos eve and saw my host standing to one side praying while his wife stood to another side praying. I asked them, “What is this prayer that you are saying at this hour?” They told me, “Our time for marital relations is every Shabbos night, so we pray to the Holy One Blessed is He that we will be granted a child who will toil in Torah and fear sin … ” I said to them, “May it be Heaven’s will that your request be fulfilled, for your deeds are for the sake of Heaven.”
אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי: אִחְזִי שְׁכִינְתָא, דִּלְבָתַר כַּמָּה שְׁנִין עֲרָעִית תַּמָּן וַחֲזִית הַאי בְּרָא, דְּאִתְיָלִיד לְהוּ, וַהֲוֵי בַּר שְׁבַע שְׁנִין. חֲמֵי לֵיהּ בְּבֵיתָא, בָּעִינָא לְמַלְּלָא עִמֵּיהּ. אָמַר לֵיהּ אֲבוּהֵי: זִיל לְגַבֵּיהּ, דְּגַבְרָא רַבָּא הוּא! אָמַר: מִסְתְּפִינָא לְאִשְׁתָּעֵי בַּהֲדֵיהּ וּלְאִתְקָרְבָא עִמֵּיהּ, דְּהָא לֹא יְדַעְנָא, אִי אִית לֵיהּ נִשְׁמְתָא קַדִּישָׁא אִי לֹא, דְּהָכֵי אוֹלִיף לִי מָארֵי יוֹמָא דֵּין, דְּכָל מָאן דְּלֵית לֵיהּ נִשְׁמְתָא קַדִּישָׁא — אָסוּר לְאִשְׁתָּעֵי בַּהֲדֵיהּ וּלְאִתְקָרְבָא עִמֵּיהּ. אָמַר לֵיהּ אָבִיו: חַס וְשָׁלוֹם! דְּגַבְרָא רַבָּא הוּא וְחַכִּימָא דְּדָרָא הוּא! קָרִיב, וְלָא סָפִיק לְמַלְּלָא עִמֵּיהּ, אָמַר לֵיהּ: אֲנָא חֲמָא בָּךְ, דְּנִשְׁמָתָא חַדְּתָא אִית בָּךְ מִיּוֹמִין זְעִירִין, וְלָא אִתְּזְרוּק בָּךְ בְּשַׁעְתָּא דְּנָפְקֵית לְעָלְמָא. תָּוְהָא וְאָמַר לוֹ רַבִּי יוֹסֵי: כָּךְ הוּא; דְּרַוָּק הָיִיתִי, וְכַד דַּהֲוֵי לָעֵי בְּאוֹרַיְתָא, אִתְיָהִיב בִּי נִשְׁמְתָא אָחֳרָא חַדְּתָא. אָמַרְתִּי לוֹ: מָאן הוּא רַבָּךְ? אָמַר לִי: רַבִּי אֲלֶכְּסַנְדְּרוֹס. אָמַר לֵיהּ: וּמַה לָּעִית יוֹמָא דֵּין? אָמַר לֵיהּ: הַאי קְרָא דִּכְתִיב (תְּהִלִּים קיא, י): "רֵאשִׁית חָכְמָה — יִרְאַת ה', שֵׂכֶל טוֹב לְכָל עוֹשֵׂיהֶם". וְדָרְשׁוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה: לָעוֹשִׂין לִשְׁמָהּ. וְגִלָּה לוֹ סוֹדוֹת נִפְלָאוֹת. אָמַרְתִּי לוֹ: מַה שִּׁמְךָ? אָמַר לִי: אַהֲבָה. אָמַרְתִּי לוֹ: מָרֵי אַהֲבָה — אַהֲבַת עוֹלָם אֲהַבְתִּיךְ, וַאֲנָא זָכִיתִי לְמֶחְמֵיהּ לְרַב אַדָּא, בְּרֵיהּ דְּרַב אַהֲבָה, וְסִפַּרְתִּי לוֹ הַדְּבָרִים הַנִּזְכָּרִים לָעֵיל.
Rabbi Yose said: May I behold the Shechinah (a form of oath to the truth his testimony), I came to the same village several years later and saw the child that was born to them. He was now seven years old. I wanted to speak to him but he refused! His father told him, “Go to the man, for he is of great stature.” But the child said, “I am afraid to speak with him or even to approach him since I do not know whether he possesses a holy soul or not. For my teacher taught me just today that it is forbidden to speak with or approach anyone who does not have a holy soul.” His father said to him, “Heaven forbid! He is a man of great stature and one of the greatest scholars of the generation!” So the child approached me. But before he had a chance to say anything else to me he said, “I see that you possess a new soul that has only recently entered and was not imbued in you at the time that you entered the world.” I replied in astonishment, “That is indeed the case! For when I was a young student toiling in Torah I was imbued with a new soul.” Then I asked, “Who is your teacher?” He replied, “Rabbi Alexandrus.” “And what did you study today?” He said to me, “This verse, ‘The beginning of wisdom is the fear of Hashem; they have good understanding all those who do the commandments’ (Tehillim 111:10). Our Rabbis have interpreted: ‘Those who do for the sake of Heaven.’ ” And his teacher revealed to him amazing insights. I said to him, “What is your name?” He answered, “Ahavah” (i.e., “Love”). I said to him, “Master Ahavah, ‘I have loved you with an eternal love’ (Yirmeyahu 31:2).” I also had the merit of meeting his son, Rabbi Ada the son of Rabbi Ahavah, and related to him all the above.
עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּזְכֶּה לְבָנִים תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים, וְיִתְפַּלֵּל בְּכָל אַרְבָּעִים יוֹם הָרִאשׁוֹנִים: יְהֵא רַעֲוָא מִמָּארֵי עָלְמָא, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְבָנִים יְרֵאִים וּשְׁלֵמִים וַחֲרֵדִים לִדְבַר ה', וְנִרְאֶה בָּהֶם קְדֻשַּׁת תַּנָּאִים וְאָמוֹרָאִים, אָמֵן. וּלְקַמָּן פֶּרֶק יח אֶכְתֹּב, שֶׁכָּל דְּרָכָיו שֶׁל אָדָם צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם.
Therefore a person must sanctify himself at the time of marital relations so that he will merit sons who are Torah scholars. And let him pray throughout the first forty days: “May it be the will of the Master of the Universe that we merit God-fearing and flawless sons who tremble at the word of Hashem. And may we observe in them the sanctity of the Sages of the Mishnah and Talmud. Amein.” In Chapter Eighteen I will explain that all of a person’s deeds should be for the sake of Heaven.