things detrimental to repentance The things detrimental to repentance are very numerous. I have already mentioned most of them previously. Some additional detrimental things: complacency in doing the sin, which means persisting in doing the sin, and delaying to [resolve to - PL] abandon it. As long as this condition continues, it is not possible to repent.
There is a saying: "no sin is small if done persistently, and no sin is big if one beseeches forgiveness for it". The explanation: doing a sin persistently reflects one's disregard for the word of G-d, and that he regards His commandment and prohibition lightly, and so invites on himself punishment. Of such a person, it is said: "But if a person should act highhandedly, whether he is a native born or a proselyte, he is blaspheming the L-ord, [and that soul shall be cut off from among its people]" (Bamidbar 15:30).
Furthermore, persistence in sin, even though it is small, it continuously grows by his repeating it. While, for a big sin, when its owner beseeches forgiveness for it, and abandons it out of fear of G-d, it gradually reduces and shrinks until it is entirely erased from one's book of sins, and its owner is purged from it with repentance.
You can see regarding a strand of silk how strong it becomes when it is doubled over many times, though it is made up of the weakest of material, namely the saliva of the silkworm. Consider the huge rope of boats. After a long time of use, the rope gradually wears out until it eventually breaks and the material returns to being the weakest of the weak.
Similarly for the matter of the smallness or largeness of sins, with regard to repeating them frequently or seeking forgiveness on them. Therefore, the verse compared them to a rope as written: "Woe to those who draw iniquity with cords of falsehood, who draw sin as with cart ropes" (Yeshaya 5:18).
Do not rejoice that others cannot recognize your hidden bad deeds, but rather it is proper to mourn because the Creator knows that which you are concealing, sees your hidden thoughts and revealed acts, and that He will remind you of them, more than you will remember of them, because you forget, but He does not forget. You will ignore them, but He will not ignore them, as written: "Behold, it is written before Me [I will not keep silent, but will repay, even repay into their bosom]" (Yeshaya 65:6), "The sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond" (Yirmiya 17:1).
Another detrimental thing: To return to the sin, after completing all the conditions of repentance from it, as written in its chapter: "the word which came to Yirmiyahu...to proclaim freedom, that every man should let his manservant and every man his maidservant.." (Yirmiya 34:8), and the rest of the matter.
Another detrimental thing also: That one assures himself that he will repent in his later years, and thinks he will refrain from sins after he is satisfied and has obtained his desires in them. He is like one trying to cheat G-d. Regarding him, the sages said: "one who says: 'I will sin then repent, I will sin then repent', will be prevented from doing repentance" (Yoma 85b).
In the Tochecha (rebuke) section I wrote at the end of this book, (I wrote): "O my soul, prepare many provisions, do not be scant while you are still alive and have the opportunity, because the journey before you is exceedingly long. Do not say tomorrow I will take provisions, because the day is closing and you don't know what the day may bring. Realize that yesterday will never return and all that you did was weighed, written, and accounted for. Don't say tomorrow I will do my duty, because the day of death is hidden from every living creature. Hasten to do every day's portion, because like a bird is driven from its nest, so too a man is driven from his place".
Another detrimental thing: That the penitent repents on part of his sins but continues in others. For example, he stopped from the sins between man and G-d, and repented on them, but did not stop from what is between himself and other men, such as theft, ona'a (overcharging money), or the like. On this it was said: "if iniquity is in your hands - distance it far away" (Iyov 11:14). And our sages said: "R. Adda b. Ahaba said: One who has sinned and confessed his sin but does not repent may be compared to a man holding an [spiritually] unclean reptile in his hand. For although he may immerse himself in all the waters of the world his immersion is of no avail unto him; but if he throws it away from his hand, then as soon as he immerses himself, immediately his immersion becomes effective, as it is said: "one who confesses and abandons them shall obtain mercy" (Taanis 16a).
The detrimental things we mentioned in previous gates of this book, all of them are also detrimental to repentance, and there is no need to repeat them in this gate.
אֲבָל מַפְסִידֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה רַבִּים מְאֹד וּכְבָר זָכַרְתִּי רֻבָּם בְּמָה שֶׁקָּדַם מִן הַשַּׁעַר הַזֶּה וּמִמַּפְסִידֶיהָ עוֹד הַהֶסְכֵּם עַל הָעֲבֵרָה וְהוּא הַהַתְמָדָה עַל עֲשׂוֹתָהּ וְהָאִחוּר מֵהַנִּיחַ אוֹתָהּ וְלֹא תִּתָּכֵן תְּשׁוּבָה עַל זֶה.
things detrimental to repentance
The things detrimental to repentance are very numerous. I have already mentioned most of them previously. Some additional detrimental things: complacency in doing the sin, which means persisting in doing the sin, and delaying to [resolve to - PL] abandon it. As long as this condition continues, it is not possible to repent.
וּכְבָר נֶאֱמַר אֵין קְטַנָּה בַּעֲבֵרוֹת עִם הַהַתְמָדָה וְלֹא גְּדוֹלָה בָּהֶם עִם בַּקָּשַׁת הַמְּחִילָה וְהוּא שֶׁהַהַתְמָדָה מוֹרָה עַל בְּזוֹתוֹ דְּבַר הָאֱלֹהִים וְשֶׁהוּא מֵקֵל בְּמִצְוָתוֹ וְהַזְהָרָתוֹ וּמְזַמֵּן עַצְמוֹ לְעָנְשׁוֹ וּבוֹ נֶאֱמַר (במדבר טו) וְהַנֶּפֶשׁ אֲשֶׁר תַּעֲשֶׂה בְּיָד רָמָה כִּי דְבַר ה׳ בָּזָה,
There is a saying: "no sin is small if done persistently, and no sin is big if one beseeches forgiveness for it". The explanation: doing a sin persistently reflects one's disregard for the word of G-d, and that he regards His commandment and prohibition lightly, and so invites on himself punishment. Of such a person, it is said: "But if a person should act highhandedly, whether he is a native born or a proselyte, he is blaspheming the L-ord, [and that soul shall be cut off from among its people]" (Bamidbar 15:30).
וְעוֹד כִּי הַהַתְמָדָה עַל הָעֲבֵרָה וְאִם הִיא קְטַנָּה הוֹלֶכֶת וּגְדֵלָה בְּהַתְמָדָתוֹ עָלֶיהָ וְהַגְּדוֹלָה כְּשֶׁמְּבַקֵּשׁ בְּעָלֶיהָ מְחִילָה עָלֶיהָ וְעָזַב אוֹתָהּ לְיִרְאַת הָאֱלֹהִים הוֹלֶכֶת הָלוֹךְ וְחָסוֹר וּמִתְמַעֶטֶת עַד שֶׁתִּמָּחֶה מִסֵּפֶר עֲוֹנֹתָיו וְיִנָּקֶה מִמֶּנָּה בְּעָלֶיהָ בַּתְּשׁוּבָה.
Furthermore, persistence in sin, even though it is small, it continuously grows by his repeating it. While, for a big sin, when its owner beseeches forgiveness for it, and abandons it out of fear of G-d, it gradually reduces and shrinks until it is entirely erased from one's book of sins, and its owner is purged from it with repentance.
הֲלֹא תִּרְאֶה הַחוּט שֶׁל מֶשִׁי כַּמָּה הוּא חָזָק כְּשֶׁיֻּכְפַּל פְּעָמִים רַבּוֹת וּכְבָר יָדַעְתָּ כִּי עִקָּרוֹ מֵחָלוּשׁ שֶׁבַּדְּבָרִים וְהוּא רִיר הַתּוֹלַעַת וְנִרְאֶה הַחֶבֶל הַגָּדוֹל שֶׁל סְפִינָה כְּשֶׁמְּשַׁמְּשִׁין בּוֹ זְמַן אָרֹךְ הוֹלֵךְ הָלוֹךְ וְחָסוֹר עַד אֲשֶׁר יִפָּתַח (ס״א יפסק) וְיָשׁוּב חָלוּשׁ מִכָּל חָלוּשׁ.
You can see regarding a strand of silk how strong it becomes when it is doubled over many times, though it is made up of the weakest of material, namely the saliva of the silkworm. Consider the huge rope of boats. After a long time of use, the rope gradually wears out until it eventually breaks and the material returns to being the weakest of the weak.
וּכְמוֹ כֵן עִנְיַן הַקַּטְנוּת וְהַגַּדְלוּת בָּעֲבֵרוֹת עִם הַהַתְמָדָה וּבַקָּשַׁת הַמְּחִילָה וְעַל כֵּן דִּמָּה אוֹתָם הַכָּתוּב בּוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה ה) הוֹי מֹשְׁכֵי הֶעָוֹן בְּחַבְלֵי הַשָּׁוְא.
Similarly for the matter of the smallness or largeness of sins, with regard to repeating them frequently or seeking forgiveness on them. Therefore, the verse compared them to a rope as written: "Woe to those who draw iniquity with cords of falsehood, who draw sin as with cart ropes" (Yeshaya 5:18).
וּכְבָר נֶאֱמַר: אַל תַּבִּיט לְקַטְנוּת מָה שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ, אַךְ תַּבִּיט לִגְדֻלַּת מִי שֶׁחָטָאתָ לוֹ.
It was already said: "do not look at the minuteness of what you committed, but rather look at the [infinite] greatness of He who you sin against."
וְאַל תִּשְׂמַח לְסִכְלוּת בְּנֵי אָדָם בְּרֹעַ מַצְפּוּנְךָ וְרָאוּי שֶׁתֶּאֱבַל לִידִיעַת הַבּוֹרֵא בְּמָה שֶׁאַתָּה צוֹפֵן וְהַשְׁקָפָתוֹ עַל נִסְתְּרוֹתֶיךָ וְנִגְלוֹתֶיךָ וְשֶׁהוּא זוֹכֵר אוֹתָם לְךָ יוֹתֵר מִמָּה שֶׁאַתָּה זוֹכֵר מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאַתָּה תִּשְׁכַּח וְהוּא לֹא יִשְׁכַּח וְתִתְעַלֵּם וְלֹא יִתְעַלֵּם כמ״ש (שם סה) הִנֵּה כְּתוּבָה לְפָנָי וְאָמַר (ירמיה יז) חַטַּאת יְהוּדָה כְּתוּבָה.
Do not rejoice that others cannot recognize your hidden bad deeds, but rather it is proper to mourn because the Creator knows that which you are concealing, sees your hidden thoughts and revealed acts, and that He will remind you of them, more than you will remember of them, because you forget, but He does not forget. You will ignore them, but He will not ignore them, as written: "Behold, it is written before Me [I will not keep silent, but will repay, even repay into their bosom]" (Yeshaya 65:6), "The sin of Judah is written with a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond" (Yirmiya 17:1).
וּמִמַּפְסִידֶיהָ עוֹד הַחֲזָרָה אֶל הָעֲבֵרָה אַחַר הַשְׁלָמַת תְּנָאֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה מִמֶּנָּה כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר (שם לד) בְּפָרָשַׁת הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר הָיָה אֶל יִרְמְיָהוּ לְשַׁלַּח אִישׁ אֶת עַבְדּוֹ וּשְׁאָר הָעִנְיָן הַהוּא.
Another detrimental thing: To return to the sin, after completing all the conditions of repentance from it, as written in its chapter: "the word which came to Yirmiyahu...to proclaim freedom, that every man should let his manservant and every man his maidservant.." (Yirmiya 34:8), and the rest of the matter.
וּמִמַּפְסִידֶיהָ גַּם כֵּן מִי שֶׁיַּבְטִיחַ (ס״א שייחל) אֶת נַפְשׁוֹ לָשׁוּב בְּאַחֲרִית יָמָיו וְחוֹשֵׁב שֶׁיִּתְרַחֵק מִן הָעֲבֵרוֹת לְאַחַר שֶׁיַּגִּיעַ אֶל רְצוֹנוֹ וְיַשְׁלִים תַּאֲוָתוֹ מֵהֶם וְהוּא כִּמְרַמֶּה אֶת אֱלֹהָיו וּבוֹ אָמְרוּ רז״ל הָאוֹמֵר אֶחֱטָא וְאָשׁוּב אֵין מַסְפִּיקִין בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה.
Another detrimental thing also: That one assures himself that he will repent in his later years, and thinks he will refrain from sins after he is satisfied and has obtained his desires in them. He is like one trying to cheat G-d. Regarding him, the sages said: "one who says: 'I will sin then repent, I will sin then repent', will be prevented from doing repentance" (Yoma 85b).
וּבַתּוֹכָחָה אֲשֶׁר כָּתַבְתִּי בְּסוֹף זֶה הַסֵּפֶר נַפְשִׁי הָכִינִי צֵדָה לָרוֹב אַל תַּמְעִיטִי, בְּעוֹד בַּחַיִּים חַיָּתֵךְ וְיֵשׁ לְאֵל יָדֵךְ כִּי רַב מִמֵּךְ הַדָּרֶךְ, וְאַל תֹּאמְרִי מָחָר אֶקַּח צֵדָה כִּי פָנָה הַיּוֹם כִּי לֹא תֵּדְעִי מַה יֵּלֶד יוֹם, וּדְעִי כִּי תְּמוֹל לָעַד לֹא יָשׁוּב וְכָל אֲשֶׁר פָּעַלְתָּ בּוֹ שָׁקוּל וְסָפוּר וְחָשׁוּב, וְאַל תֹּאמְרִי מָחָר אֶעֱשֶׂה כִּי יוֹם הַמָּוֶת מִכָּל חַי מְכֻסֶּה, מַהֲרִי עֲשׂוֹת בְּכָל יוֹם חֻקּוֹ כִּי בְּכָל יוֹם הַמָּוֶת יִשְׁלַח חִצּוֹ וּבְרָקוֹ, וְאַל תִּתְמַהְמְהִי מֵעֲשׂוֹת חֹק דְּבַר יוֹם בְּיוֹמוֹ כִּי כַּצִּפּוֹר נוֹדֶדֶת מִן קִנָּהּ כֵּן אִישׁ נוֹדֵד מִמְּקוֹמוֹ.
In the Tochecha (rebuke) section I wrote at the end of this book, (I wrote): "O my soul, prepare many provisions, do not be scant while you are still alive and have the opportunity, because the journey before you is exceedingly long. Do not say tomorrow I will take provisions, because the day is closing and you don't know what the day may bring. Realize that yesterday will never return and all that you did was weighed, written, and accounted for. Don't say tomorrow I will do my duty, because the day of death is hidden from every living creature. Hasten to do every day's portion, because like a bird is driven from its nest, so too a man is driven from his place".
וּמִמַּפְסִידֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה ג״כ שיהי׳ הַשָּׁב שָׁב מִקְצָת עֲוֹנֹתָיו וּמַתְמִיד עַל קְצָתָם כְּמוֹ שֶׁיֵּצֵא מִן הָעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּינוֹ וּבֵין הַמָּקוֹם וְיָשׁוּב מֵהֶם וְלֹא יֵצֵא מִמָּה שֶׁיֵּשׁ בֵּינוֹ וּבֵין בְּנֵי אָדָם מִגֶּזֶל וְאוֹנָאָה וּגְנֵבָה וְהַדּוֹמֶה לָזֶה וּבְזֶה נֶאֱמַר (איוב יא) אִם אָוֶן בְּיָדְךָ הַרְחִיקֵהוּ וְאָמְרוּ רז״ל בָּעִנְיָן הַזֶּה אָדָם שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיָדוֹ עֲבֵרָה וּמִתְוַדֶּה וְאֵינוֹ חוֹזֵר בּוֹ לְמָה הוּא דּוֹמֶה לְמִי שֶׁתּוֹפֵס שֶׁרֶץ בְּיָדוֹ אֲפִלּוּ טוֹבֵל בְּכָל מֵימוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם לֹא עָלְתָה לוֹ טְבִילָה, זְרָקוֹ מִיָּדוֹ עָלְתָה לוֹ טְבִילָה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי כ״ח:י״ג) וּמוֹדֶה וְעוֹזֵב יְרֻחָם,
Another detrimental thing: That the penitent repents on part of his sins but continues in others. For example, he stopped from the sins between man and G-d, and repented on them, but did not stop from what is between himself and other men, such as theft, ona'a (overcharging money), or the like. On this it was said: "if iniquity is in your hands - distance it far away" (Iyov 11:14). And our sages said: "R. Adda b. Ahaba said: One who has sinned and confessed his sin but does not repent may be compared to a man holding an [spiritually] unclean reptile in his hand. For although he may immerse himself in all the waters of the world his immersion is of no avail unto him; but if he throws it away from his hand, then as soon as he immerses himself, immediately his immersion becomes effective, as it is said: "one who confesses and abandons them shall obtain mercy" (Taanis 16a).
וּמָה שֶׁהִקְדַּמְנוּ מִמַּפְסִידֵי הַשְּׁעָרִים אֲשֶׁר קָדְמוּ בַּסֵּפֶר הַזֶּה כֻּלָּם ג״כ מַפְסִידִים הַתְּשׁוּבָה וְאֵינֶנִּי צָרִיךְ לִשְׁנוֹתָם בַּשַּׁעַר הַזֶּה:
The detrimental things we mentioned in previous gates of this book, all of them are also detrimental to repentance, and there is no need to repeat them in this gate.