The commandment that a groom rejoice with his wife for one year: That we have been commanded that a groom rejoice with his wife for one year — meaning to say that he not travel outside of the city to go out to war, nor for other matters, [such that] he would dwell without her for many days; but rather he should dwell with her for a whole year from the day of the marriage. And about this is it stated (Deuteronomy 24:5), “he shall be exempt one year for the sake of his household, to give happiness to the woman he has married.”
It is from the roots of the commandment that God, may He be blessed, had it come up in thought in front of Him to create the world; and His desire was that it be inhabited with good creatures born from male and female that mate properly — as licentiousness is an abomination in front of Him. Therefore, He decreed upon us — the nation that He chose to be called for His name — that we should dwell with the woman that is designated for us to raise seed, for a whole year from the time that he marries her. [This is] so that [his] nature becomes used to her and to have [his] desire cling to her and to bring her form and all of her acts into the [heart] — to the point that all the acts of another woman be foreign to his nature; as every nature generally seeks and loves that to which it is accustomed. And from this, a man will distance his path from an [other] woman, and he will turn his thought to the woman that is fitting for him; and the offspring that she will bear him will be proper, and the world will bring up grace in front of its Creator. And that is [the understanding of] what they, may their memory be blessed, said (Sotah 44a) that it is the same whether one marries a virgin, or a widow or a levirate (yivamah) — he is obligated in this; as all of them are fitting for this according to the explanation mentioned [above], but not one who brings back the woman he has divorced.
From the laws of the commandment is that which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Sotah 44a, see Mishneh Torah, Kings and Wars 7:11), that the whole year, he does not go out to war and he also does not supply water and food to his brothers who are at war, and he does not place barriers for the city and he shall have no purpose assigned to him; as it states, “he shall not go out with the army nor have any purpose assigned to him” — meaning to say, not the needs of the war and not the needs of the city. And the rest of its details are elucidated in the eighth chapter of Sotah.
And this commandment, regarding that the people of the city not force him to go to war, is practiced at the time of the [Temple], as then we would sometimes go out to war. And regarding that which it is fitting for every man to gladden her and to dwell with her for a year, it is practiced in every place and at all times. And one who transgresses it and separates from her within the year to stay without her for many days — even with her dispensation — has violated this positive commandment. And nonetheless, it appears that [in the case of] one who wants to go away for the matter of a commandment or to gladden his friends — with the intention of returning joyfully after a few days — there is no violation of the commandment. And there are some that say it is permissible [to go away] with her dispensation. (See Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 64:1 and Beit Shmuel and Chelkat Mechokek there.)
מִצְוָה שֶׁיִּשְׂמַח הֶחָתָן עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ שָׁנָה אַחַת – שֶׁנִּצְטַוִּינוּ שֶׁיִּשְׂמַח הֶחָתָן עִם אִשְׁתּוֹ שָׁנָה אַחַת, כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁלֹּא יִסַּע חוּץ לָעִיר לָצֵאת לְמִלְחָמָה וְלֹא לְעִנְיָנִים אֲחֵרִים לָשֶׁבֶת זוּלָתָהּ יָמִים רַבִּים, אֶלָּא יֵשֵׁב עִמָּהּ שָׁנָה שְׁלֵמָה מִיּוֹם הַנִּשּׂוּאִין, וְעַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר (דברים כד ה) נָקִי יִהְיֶה לְבֵיתוֹ שָׁנָה אֶחָת וְשִׂמַּח אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ אֲשֶׁר לָקָח.
The commandment that a groom rejoice with his wife for one year: That we have been commanded that a groom rejoice with his wife for one year — meaning to say that he not travel outside of the city to go out to war, nor for other matters, [such that] he would dwell without her for many days; but rather he should dwell with her for a whole year from the day of the marriage. And about this is it stated (Deuteronomy 24:5), “he shall be exempt one year for the sake of his household, to give happiness to the woman he has married.”
מִשָּׁרְשֵׁי הַמִּצְוָה. כִּי הָאֵל בָּרוּךְ הוּא עָלָה בְּמַחְשָׁבָה לְפָנָיו לִבְרֹאת הָעוֹלָם, וְחֶפְצוֹ שֶׁיִּתְיַשֵּׁב בִּבְרִיּוֹת טוֹבוֹת הַנּוֹלָדוֹת מִזָּכָר וּנְקֵבָה, שֶׁיִּזְדַּוְּגוּ בְּהֶכְשֵׁר, כִּי הַזְּנוּת תּוֹעֵבָה הִיא לְפָנָיו, עַל כֵּן גָּזַר עָלֵינוּ הָעָם אֲשֶׁר בָּחַר לִהְיוֹת נִקְרָא עַל שְׁמוֹ, שֶׁנֵּשֵׁב עִם הָאִשָּׁה הַמְיֻחֶדֶת לָנוּ לְהָקִים זֶרַע שָׁנָה שְׁלֵמָה, מֵעֵת שֶׁנִּשָּׂא אוֹתָהּ, כְּדֵי לְהַרְגִּיל הַטֶּבַע עִמָּהּ וּלְהִדָּבֵק הָרָצוֹן אֶצְלָהּ וּלְהַכְנִיס צִיּוּרָהּ וְכָל פָּעֳלָהּ בַּלֵּב, עַד שֶׁיָּבוֹא אֵצֶל הַטֶּבַע כָּל מַעֲשֵׂה אִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת וְכָל עִנְיָנֶיהָ דֶּרֶךְ זָרוּת, כִּי כָּל טֶבַע בָּרֹב יְבַקֵּשׁ וְיֶאֱהַב מָה שֶׁרָגִיל בּוֹ, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ יַרְחִיק הָאָדָם דַּרְכּוֹ מֵאִשָּׁה זָרָה, וְיַפְנֶה אֶל הָאִשָּׁה הָרְאוּיָה לוֹ מַחְשַׁבְתּוֹ, וְיֻכְשְׁרוּ הַוְּלָדִים שֶׁתֵּלֵד לוֹ, וְיִהְיֶה הָעוֹלָם מַעֲלֶה חֵן לִפְנֵי בּוֹרְאוֹ. וְזֶהוּ שֶׁאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (סוטה מד, א), שֶׁאֶחָד הַנּוֹשֵׂא אֶת הַבְּתוּלָה, אוֹ אֶת הָאַלְמָנָה, אוֹ אֶת הַיְּבָמָה חַיָּב בָּזֶה, שֶׁכֻּלָּן רְאוּיִין לְכָךְ לְפִי הַטַּעַם הַנִּזְכָּר, אֲבָל לֹא הַמַּחְזִיר גְּרוּשָׁתוֹ.
It is from the roots of the commandment that God, may He be blessed, had it come up in thought in front of Him to create the world; and His desire was that it be inhabited with good creatures born from male and female that mate properly — as licentiousness is an abomination in front of Him. Therefore, He decreed upon us — the nation that He chose to be called for His name — that we should dwell with the woman that is designated for us to raise seed, for a whole year from the time that he marries her. [This is] so that [his] nature becomes used to her and to have [his] desire cling to her and to bring her form and all of her acts into the [heart] — to the point that all the acts of another woman be foreign to his nature; as every nature generally seeks and loves that to which it is accustomed. And from this, a man will distance his path from an [other] woman, and he will turn his thought to the woman that is fitting for him; and the offspring that she will bear him will be proper, and the world will bring up grace in front of its Creator. And that is [the understanding of] what they, may their memory be blessed, said (Sotah 44a) that it is the same whether one marries a virgin, or a widow or a levirate (yivamah) — he is obligated in this; as all of them are fitting for this according to the explanation mentioned [above], but not one who brings back the woman he has divorced.
מִדִּינֵי הַמִּצְוָה. מָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (סוטה שם רמב"ם מלכים פ"ז הי"א), שֶׁכָּל הַשָּׁנָה כֻּלָּהּ אֵינוֹ יוֹצֵא לְמִלְחָמָה וְאַף לֹא מְסַפֵּק מַיִם וּמָזוֹן לְאֶחָיו שֶׁהֵם בַּמִּלְחָמָה, וְלֹא נוֹתֵן לְפַסֵּי הָעִיר, וְלֹא יַעֲבֹר עָלָיו שׁוּם דָּבָר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר לֹא יֵצֵא בַּצָּבָא וְלֹא יַעֲבֹר עָלָיו לְכָל דָּבָר, כְּלוֹמַר לֹא לְצָרְכֵי הַמִּלְחָמָה, וְלֹא לְצָרְכֵי הָעִיר. וְיֶתֶר פְּרָטֶיהָ, מְבֹאָרִים בְּפֶרֶק שְׁמִינִי מִסּוֹטָה.
From the laws of the commandment is that which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Sotah 44a, see Mishneh Torah, Kings and Wars 7:11), that the whole year, he does not go out to war and he also does not supply water and food to his brothers who are at war, and he does not place barriers for the city and he shall have no purpose assigned to him; as it states, “he shall not go out with the army nor have any purpose assigned to him” — meaning to say, not the needs of the war and not the needs of the city. And the rest of its details are elucidated in the eighth chapter of Sotah.
וְנוֹהֶגֶת מִצְוָה זוֹ בִּזְמַן הַבַּיִת, לְעִנְיַן שֶׁאֵין בְּנֵי הָעִיר מַכְרִיחִין אוֹתוֹ לַמִּלְחָמָה, כִּי אָז הָיִינוּ נִלְחָמִים לִפְעָמִים. וּלְעִנְיָן שֶׁרָאוּי לְכָל אָדָם לְשַׂמְּחָהּ וְלֵשֵׁב עִמָּהּ שָׁנָה אַחַת, נוֹהֶגֶת בְּכָל מָקוֹם וּבְכָל זְמַן. וְהָעוֹבֵר עַל זֶה וּפֵרֵשׁ מִמֶּנָּה תּוֹךְ שָׁנָה לַעֲמֹד זוּלָתָהּ יָמִים רַבִּים, וַאֲפִלּוּ בִּמְחִילָתָהּ, בִּטֵּל עֲשֵׂה זֶה. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם הָרוֹצֶה לָצֵאת לִדְבַר מִצְוָה אוֹ לִשְׂמֹחַ עִם רֵעָיו עַל דַּעַת שֶׁיָּשׁוּב לְיָמִים מוּעָטִים בְּשִׂמְחָה, מִן הַדּוֹמֶה שֶׁאֵין בָּזֶה בִּטּוּל הַמִּצְוָה, וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים שֶׁבִּמְחִילָתָהּ מֻתָּר (עי, שו"ע אבהע"ז סי' סד ס"א ובבית שמואל וחלקת מחוקק שם).
And this commandment, regarding that the people of the city not force him to go to war, is practiced at the time of the [Temple], as then we would sometimes go out to war. And regarding that which it is fitting for every man to gladden her and to dwell with her for a year, it is practiced in every place and at all times. And one who transgresses it and separates from her within the year to stay without her for many days — even with her dispensation — has violated this positive commandment. And nonetheless, it appears that [in the case of] one who wants to go away for the matter of a commandment or to gladden his friends — with the intention of returning joyfully after a few days — there is no violation of the commandment. And there are some that say it is permissible [to go away] with her dispensation. (See Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 64:1 and Beit Shmuel and Chelkat Mechokek there.)