Wedding customs:123These reasons were revealed to R' Yudel and R' Shmuel Isaac on Shemini Atzeret 5563 (October 17, 1802), just a few weeks after the Rebbe arrived in Breslov. This was also just a few months before the wedding of the Rebbe's daughter, Sarah. On the Shabbat after the wedding, 3 Nisan (March 25, 1803), the Rebbe delivered the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 49, which discusses these same customs (Parparaot LeChokhmah ad loc.; Tzaddik #263. It is customary for people to stand up and say humorous things at a wedding. It is also customary to begin by saying, “Ehla – Rise!” The Talmud says, “A woman may rise with her husband, but does not descend with him” (Ketubot 48a, 61a). People say, “Rise!” along with the humor, for the bride will rise up with her husband with every joy and pleasure, but will not descend with him.124A somewhat different reason is given in Likutey Moharan I, 49:7.
It is customary to cover the bride’s face with a veil. Rachel is “the beautiful girl who has no eyes.”125Zohar II, 29a; Netzutzey Orot ad loc.; Pri Etz Chaim, Keriat Shma, end of Chapter 24. Rachel is the true bride of Z'er Anpin, the transcendental bridegroom. She has such pure faith that she is blind to anything that may question it (see Likutey Moharan I, 62:5; “His Wisdom” #32). This is the bride. It is written, “God’s glory is to hide a thing” (Proverbs 25:2). This also speaks of the bride.126"Glory” always refers to Malkhut, which in the Kabbalah is personified by the transcendental bride, Rachel.
It is customary to throw baked goods at the groom. It is written, “Wherever the spirit went … the Ofanim were lifted up”127The wording in the Hebrew text is somewhat different than the actual Scripture. (Ezekiel 1:20). An OFaN is an angel. Baked goods are OFiN. The similar spelling indicates a similarity in essence. The bridegroom represents the spirit.128Of the parts of the soul, ruach (spirit) is the counterpart of Z'er Anpin (the groom). The Ofanim are angels of Asiyah, the lowest supernal world, which also corresponds to the feminine element. Throwing baked goods thus unites male and female. Wherever the bridegroom goes, baked goods/spirits are lifted up (see Likutey Halakhot, Kiddushin 2:8).
It is written, “Hosts of angels129The biblical reading here is Malkhey (Kings). Here, however, the Talmudic reading of Shabbat 68b is used – namely, Malakhey (Angels). A number of other places indicate that the verse actually speaks of angels (cf. Mechilta to Exodus 20:16; Shemot Rabbah 33:4; Devarim Rabbah 7:10, 11:3). This is resolved by a statement that the verse actually refers to the archangels, the “kings” of angels (Bamidbar Rabbah 11:5; Shir HaShirim Rabbah 11:12; Kohelet Rabbah 9:12; Panei'ach Raza, Yitro, p. 114b). whirl and spin, and she who stays home divides the spoil” (Psalms 68:13). The dancers “whirl and spin.” When they are given money, they “divide the spoil.”
The Revelation at Sinai was a wedding. It is written, “His mother crowned him on his wedding day” (Song of Songs 3:11). This is the Revelation at Sinai (Ta'anit 26b). Mount Sinai is also a ladder. Take the letters of the word SINaI and turn them into numbers. The gematria then gives you SuLaM (ladder).130SINaI is spelled Samekh (60), Yod (10), Nun (50), Yod (10), which has the numerical value of 130. SuLaM is spelled Samekh (60), Lamed (30), Mem (40), which also has the numerical value of 130.
This is the ladder in Jacob’s dream. It is written, “Behold, a ladder … and behold, angels of God went up and down on it” (Genesis 28:12). The dancers go up and down, raising and lowering their bodies. They dance on the ladder of Sinai – the day of the wedding.
The money given to the dancers is called “Shabbat money.” It is written, “U-nevat Bayit Tekhalek Shalal – She who stays home divides the spoil” (Psalms 68:13). This is the money given to the dancers, as mentioned earlier. In Hebrew, the words Bayit Tekhaleik Shalal form the acrostic, ShaBaT — Shabbat money (cf. Likutey Moharan I, 49:7).
It is customary for the bridegroom to give a scholarly discourse. It is written, “His mother crowned him on his wedding day.” The wedding day alludes to the Revelation at Sinai. The bridegroom speaks words of Torah, just as God did at Sinai. It is customary to present the bridegroom with gifts. These are called Drashah Geshank (discourse gifts). It is written, “You have ascended on high, you have captured the prize (that is, Torah), you have received gifts from among men” (ibid., I, 68:19). These are the gifts given to the bridegroom. It is said that the bridegroom’s lecture helps to unite the couple.
Before Jacob saw the dream of the ladder, it is written, “He lay down (VaYiShKaV) in that place” (Genesis 28:11). The letters of VaYiShKaV can be rearranged to spell VaYesh Kaf-Bet ("and there are twenty-two"). These are the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet.131Tikkuney Zohar #18, 34a; ibid., #70, 132b; Etz Chaim, Sha'ar HaYerei'ach 3; Likutey Moharan II, 79. The bridegroom's lecture unites the twenty-two letters into words of Torah, just as the couple is united.132Song of Songs 1:4 is interpreted to apply both to a happy marriage and to the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet in Shir HaShirim Rabbah 1:31, 32. Cf. Etz Chaim loc. cit.; Likutey Moharan II, 89; Ketubot 10b.
It is customary for the dancers to do Pristakes, raising and lowering their bodies. It is written, “I will go down to Egypt with you, and I will bring you up” (Genesis 46:4). This is symbolized by the up-and-down motions.
“I will go down with you to Egypt”: The exile in Egypt was to gather together the holy sparks from Adam’s wasted seed.133Likutey Moharan II, 5:10; cf. Shemonah She'arim, Sha'ar HaMitzvot on Deuteronomy 16:3; Sha'ar HaKavanot, Pesach 1. “I will bring you up”: A wedding is a rectification of the covenant134This refers to the atonement of sexual sins, since a bridegroom is forgiven all his sins (Yerushalmi, Bikurim 11b; Rashi on Genesis 36:3; Magen Avraham 573:1; Bet Shmuel 61:6). The Giving of the Torah – the “wedding” of God and Israel – took place right after the Exodus. and a unification — i.e., “I will bring you up.”
It is customary for the best man to dress the bridegroom in the kittel, a plain, white, linen robe. It is written, “And Joseph will place his hand on your eyes” (ibid.). (The son closes his father’s eyes upon death.135Tur Yoreh Dei'ah 352. Cf. Shabbat 151b.) Joseph is the best man.136The best man makes the preparations for the bridegroom, just as Joseph paved the way for Jacob, who symbolizes the transcendental bridegroom (i.e., “Rachel’s husband”) (cf. Bava Batra 123a). The kittel is the garment of the dead.137Orach Chaim 610:4 in Hagah. The bridegroom wears the kittel to remind him that he too is mortal and therefore must repent.
It is customary for the dancers to do somersaults. The Revelation at Sinai was a wedding. There it is written, “Moses went up” (Exodus 19:3). It is also written, “God descended onto Mount Sinai” (ibid., 19:20). Sinai then involved “ those below rose up and thosr above descended” (see above #40, and note 160). Thus, the dancers engage in somersaults.
מַה שֶּׁאוֹמְרִים עַל הַחֲתֻנָּה מִלְּתָא דִּבְדִיחוּתָא וְאוֹמְרִים מִקֹּדֶם: 'עָלָא', רֶמֶז שֶׁאִשָּׁה עוֹלָה עִמּוֹ וְאֵינָהּ יוֹרֶדֶת עִמּוֹ. וְזֶה "עָלָא" בְּמִלְּתָא דִּבְדִיחוּתָא, הַיְנוּ עוֹלָה עִמּוֹ לְכָל שִׂמְחָה וְטוֹב וְתַעֲנוּג, אֲבָל אֵינָהּ יוֹרֶדֶת עִמּוֹ.
Wedding customs:123These reasons were revealed to R' Yudel and R' Shmuel Isaac on Shemini Atzeret 5563 (October 17, 1802), just a few weeks after the Rebbe arrived in Breslov. This was also just a few months before the wedding of the Rebbe's daughter, Sarah. On the Shabbat after the wedding, 3 Nisan (March 25, 1803), the Rebbe delivered the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 49, which discusses these same customs (Parparaot LeChokhmah ad loc.; Tzaddik #263. It is customary for people to stand up and say humorous things at a wedding. It is also customary to begin by saying, “Ehla – Rise!” The Talmud says, “A woman may rise with her husband, but does not descend with him” (Ketubot 48a, 61a). People say, “Rise!” along with the humor, for the bride will rise up with her husband with every joy and pleasure, but will not descend with him.124A somewhat different reason is given in Likutey Moharan I, 49:7.
מַה שֶּׁמְּכַסִּין אֶת הַכַּלָּה בְּדֶעק טוּךְ (צָעִיף), כִּי הַכַּלָּה רוֹמֶזֶת לְרָחֵל "עוּלֵימְתָּא שַׁפִּירְתָּא דְּלֵית לָהּ עֵינִין" (זֹהַר שְׁמוֹת צ"ה) גַּם רֶמֶז עַל בְּחִינַת (מִשְׁלֵי כה): "כְּבוֹד אֱלֹקִים הַסְתֵּר דָּבָר"
It is customary to cover the bride’s face with a veil. Rachel is “the beautiful girl who has no eyes.”125Zohar II, 29a; Netzutzey Orot ad loc.; Pri Etz Chaim, Keriat Shma, end of Chapter 24. Rachel is the true bride of Z'er Anpin, the transcendental bridegroom. She has such pure faith that she is blind to anything that may question it (see Likutey Moharan I, 62:5; “His Wisdom” #32). This is the bride. It is written, “God’s glory is to hide a thing” (Proverbs 25:2). This also speaks of the bride.126"Glory” always refers to Malkhut, which in the Kabbalah is personified by the transcendental bride, Rachel.
מַה שֶּׁמַּשְׁלִיכִין אוֹפִין (חִטִּין וְכַדּוֹמֶה) לִרְמֹז… (חָסֵר) וְזֶה שֶׁמַּשְׁלִיכִין עַל הֶחָתָן אוֹפִין לִרְמֹז (יְחֶזְקֵאל א): "אֶל אֲשֶׁר יִהְיֶה שָׁמָּה הָרוּחַ לָלֶכֶת שָׁמָּה יֵלְכוּ הָאוֹפַנִּים". וְהֶחָתָן הוּא בְּחִינַת רוּחַ.
It is customary to throw baked goods at the groom. It is written, “Wherever the spirit went … the Ofanim were lifted up”127The wording in the Hebrew text is somewhat different than the actual Scripture. (Ezekiel 1:20). An OFaN is an angel. Baked goods are OFiN. The similar spelling indicates a similarity in essence. The bridegroom represents the spirit.128Of the parts of the soul, ruach (spirit) is the counterpart of Z'er Anpin (the groom). The Ofanim are angels of Asiyah, the lowest supernal world, which also corresponds to the feminine element. Throwing baked goods thus unites male and female. Wherever the bridegroom goes, baked goods/spirits are lifted up (see Likutey Halakhot, Kiddushin 2:8).
מַה שֶּׁנּוֹתְנִין כָּל אֶחָד מָעוֹת, שֶׁקּוֹרִין "שַׁבָּת" בִּשְׁבִיל הַמְרַקְּדִין.
It is customary to give money to the dancers at a wedding. This is called “Shabbat money.”
עַל שֵׁם (תְּהִלִּים סח): "מַלְכֵי צְבָאוֹת יִדֹּדוּן יִדֹּדוּן" הַיְנוּ הֵם מְרַקְּדִין. "וּנְוַת בַּ'יִת תְּ'חַלֵּק שָׁ'לָל", הֵם נוֹתְנִין מָעוֹת "שַׁבָּת" בִּשְׁבִיל הַמְרַקְּדִין.
It is written, “Hosts of angels129The biblical reading here is Malkhey (Kings). Here, however, the Talmudic reading of Shabbat 68b is used – namely, Malakhey (Angels). A number of other places indicate that the verse actually speaks of angels (cf. Mechilta to Exodus 20:16; Shemot Rabbah 33:4; Devarim Rabbah 7:10, 11:3). This is resolved by a statement that the verse actually refers to the archangels, the “kings” of angels (Bamidbar Rabbah 11:5; Shir HaShirim Rabbah 11:12; Kohelet Rabbah 9:12; Panei'ach Raza, Yitro, p. 114b). whirl and spin, and she who stays home divides the spoil” (Psalms 68:13). The dancers “whirl and spin.” When they are given money, they “divide the spoil.”
הַחֲתֻנָּה, הִוא בְּחִינַת סִינַי, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: "בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ, זֶה מַעֲמַד הַר סִינַי" (תַּעֲנִית כו:), וְסִינַי גִּימַטְרִיָּא סֻלָּם.
The Revelation at Sinai was a wedding. It is written, “His mother crowned him on his wedding day” (Song of Songs 3:11). This is the Revelation at Sinai (Ta'anit 26b). Mount Sinai is also a ladder. Take the letters of the word SINaI and turn them into numbers. The gematria then gives you SuLaM (ladder).130SINaI is spelled Samekh (60), Yod (10), Nun (50), Yod (10), which has the numerical value of 130. SuLaM is spelled Samekh (60), Lamed (30), Mem (40), which also has the numerical value of 130.
וְכָתוּב: "וְהִנֵּה מַלְאֲכֵי אֱלֹהִים עוֹלִים וְיוֹרְדִים בּוֹ", הַיְנוּ רִקּוּדִין שֶׁבִּשְׁעַת רִקּוּדִין עוֹלֶה וְיוֹרֵד כִּי כֵן דֶּרֶךְ רִקּוּדִין שֶׁעוֹלֶה אֶת גּוּפוֹ וְיוֹרֵד אֶת גּוּפוֹ.
This is the ladder in Jacob’s dream. It is written, “Behold, a ladder … and behold, angels of God went up and down on it” (Genesis 28:12). The dancers go up and down, raising and lowering their bodies. They dance on the ladder of Sinai – the day of the wedding.
וּמַה שֶּׁקּוֹרִין זֹאת הַמָּעוֹת "שַׁבָּת" כִּי רָאשֵׁי־תֵּבוֹת וּנְוַת "בַּיִת "תְּחַלֵּק "שָׁלָל אוֹתִיּוֹת שַׁבָּת.
The money given to the dancers is called “Shabbat money.” It is written, “U-nevat Bayit Tekhalek Shalal – She who stays home divides the spoil” (Psalms 68:13). This is the money given to the dancers, as mentioned earlier. In Hebrew, the words Bayit Tekhaleik Shalal form the acrostic, ShaBaT — Shabbat money (cf. Likutey Moharan I, 49:7).
מַה שֶּׁהֶחָתָן דּוֹרֵשׁ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲכָמֵינוּ ז"ל: 'בְּיוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ – זֶה מַעֲמַד הַר סִינַי', לִרְמֹז שֶׁהַחֲתֻנָּה הִיא מַעֲמַד הַר סִינַי, בִּשְׁבִיל זֶה הוּא דּוֹרֵשׁ. וּמַה שֶּׁנּוֹתְנִין לוֹ מָעוֹת שֶׁקּוֹרִין "דְּרָשָׁה גִּישַׁאנְק" לִרְמֹז: "עָלִיתָ לַמָּרוֹם שָׁבִיתָ שֶׁבִי" (תְּהִלִּים סח) בִּשְׁבִיל זֶה "לָקַחְתָּ מַתָּנוֹת", וְזֶה הַדְּרָשָׁה גִּישַׁאנְק שֶׁנּוֹתְנִין לְהֶחָתָן.
It is customary for the bridegroom to give a scholarly discourse. It is written, “His mother crowned him on his wedding day.” The wedding day alludes to the Revelation at Sinai. The bridegroom speaks words of Torah, just as God did at Sinai. It is customary to present the bridegroom with gifts. These are called Drashah Geshank (discourse gifts).
It is written, “You have ascended on high, you have captured the prize (that is, Torah), you have received gifts from among men” (ibid., I, 68:19). These are the gifts given to the bridegroom. It is said that the bridegroom’s lecture helps to unite the couple.
מַה שֶּׁהֶחָתָן דּוֹרֵשׁ הַדְּרָשָׁה, הִיא מוֹעֶלֶת לַזִּוּוּגִים כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב (בְּרֵאשִׁית כח) "וַיִּשְׁכַּב בַּמָּקוֹם הַהוּא" "יֵשׁ כ"ב" אוֹתִיּוֹת, הַדְּרָשָׁה שֶׁהִיא בְּכ"ב אוֹתִיּוֹת הֵם לַזִּוּוּג.
Before Jacob saw the dream of the ladder, it is written, “He lay down (VaYiShKaV) in that place” (Genesis 28:11). The letters of VaYiShKaV can be rearranged to spell VaYesh Kaf-Bet ("and there are twenty-two"). These are the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet.131Tikkuney Zohar #18, 34a; ibid., #70, 132b; Etz Chaim, Sha'ar HaYerei'ach 3; Likutey Moharan II, 79.
The bridegroom's lecture unites the twenty-two letters into words of Torah, just as the couple is united.132Song of Songs 1:4 is interpreted to apply both to a happy marriage and to the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet in Shir HaShirim Rabbah 1:31, 32. Cf. Etz Chaim loc. cit.; Likutey Moharan II, 89; Ketubot 10b.
הַפְּרִסְטַקֶיס (פִּזּוּז וְכִרְכוּר) שֶׁעוֹשִׂין בִּשְׁעַת רִקּוּדִין, זֶה בְּחִינַת (בְּרֵאשִׁית מו): "אָנֹכִי אֵרֵד עִמְּךָ מִצְרַיְמָה וְאָנֹכִי אַעַלְךָ".
It is customary for the dancers to do Pristakes, raising and lowering their bodies. It is written, “I will go down to Egypt with you, and I will bring you up” (Genesis 46:4). This is symbolized by the up-and-down motions.
כִּי גָּלוּת מִצְרַיִם הָיָה בִּשְׁבִיל לְבָרֵר נִיצוֹצֵי קֶרִי שֶׁל אָדָם הָרִאשׁוֹן, וְהַחֲתֻנָּה הִיא תִּקּוּן וְיִחוּד הַבְּרִית, שֶׁהִיא בְּחִינַת "אָנֹכִי אַעַלְךָ גַּם עָלֹה".
“I will go down with you to Egypt”: The exile in Egypt was to gather together the holy sparks from Adam’s wasted seed.133Likutey Moharan II, 5:10; cf. Shemonah She'arim, Sha'ar HaMitzvot on Deuteronomy 16:3; Sha'ar HaKavanot, Pesach 1. “I will bring you up”: A wedding is a rectification of the covenant134This refers to the atonement of sexual sins, since a bridegroom is forgiven all his sins (Yerushalmi, Bikurim 11b; Rashi on Genesis 36:3; Magen Avraham 573:1; Bet Shmuel 61:6). The Giving of the Torah – the “wedding” of God and Israel – took place right after the Exodus. and a unification — i.e., “I will bring you up.”
מַה שֶּׁפּוֹסְקִין אֶת הַדְּרָשָׁה זֶה בְּחִינַת שִׁבְרֵי לוּחוֹת.
It is customary to interrupt the bridegroom’s lecture. This symbolizes the Breaking of the Tablets.
הַשּׁוֹשְׁבִין מַלְבִּישׁ הַקִּיטְל לְהֶחָתָן, זֶה רֶמֶז (בְּרֵאשִׁית מו): "וְיוֹסֵף יָשִׁית יָדוֹ עַל עֵינֶיךָ" כִּי יוֹסֵף הוּא שׁוֹשְׁבִין, וְקִיטְל הוּא בֶּגֶד מֵתִים.
It is customary for the best man to dress the bridegroom in the kittel, a plain, white, linen robe. It is written, “And Joseph will place his hand on your eyes” (ibid.). (The son closes his father’s eyes upon death.135Tur Yoreh Dei'ah 352. Cf. Shabbat 151b.) Joseph is the best man.136The best man makes the preparations for the bridegroom, just as Joseph paved the way for Jacob, who symbolizes the transcendental bridegroom (i.e., “Rachel’s husband”) (cf. Bava Batra 123a). The kittel is the garment of the dead.137Orach Chaim 610:4 in Hagah. The bridegroom wears the kittel to remind him that he too is mortal and therefore must repent.
מַה שֶּׁמְּהַפְּכִין אֶת עַצְמָן זֶה בְּחִינַת (שְׁמוֹת יט): "וּמֹשֶׁה עָלָה", (שְׁמוֹת יט): "וַיֵּרֵד ה' עַל הַר סִינַי". שֶׁהַתַּחְתּוֹנִים עָלוּ לְמַעְלָה וְהַעֶלְיוֹנִים יָרְדוּ לְמַטָּה.
It is customary for the dancers to do somersaults. The Revelation at Sinai was a wedding. There it is written, “Moses went up” (Exodus 19:3). It is also written, “God descended onto Mount Sinai” (ibid., 19:20). Sinai then involved “ those below rose up and thosr above descended” (see above #40, and note 160). Thus, the dancers engage in somersaults.