The Rebbe once told us that in his youth, he was greatly afraid of death. He feared this greatly. Even so, he would ask God to allow him to die for His sake.
The Rebbe did not remember how long this lasted, perhaps for a year. All during this time, he would not say a prayer without also asking God to allow him to give his life for His Name. He constantly included this petition, despite his great terror of death.
From this we learned that to serve God, you must overcome precisely the thing that overwhelms you most. It is written, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5). According to the Talmud, “with all your soul” means that one should give one’s life for God. “With all your might” means that the same is true of all one’s money (Berakhot 54a). The Talmud then asks: If one must give his life for God, why is it necessary to state that he must also give his money? It answers that there are some people who value their wealth more than their lives (ibid., 61b). Understand this.
מִקֹּדֶם סִפֵּר: שֶׁבִּימֵי בַּחֲרוּתוֹ, הָיָה לוֹ פַּחַד גָּדוֹל מְאֹד מְאֹד מִן הַמִּיתָה. וְהָיָה מִתְפַּחֵד וּמִתְיָרֵא הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד מִן הַמִּיתָה. וְאָז הָיָה מְבַקֵּשׁ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיָּמוּת עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם.
The Rebbe once told us that in his youth, he was greatly afraid of death. He feared this greatly. Even so, he would ask God to allow him to die for His sake.
וְהָלַךְ בָּזֶה זְמַן רַב, וְאֵינוֹ זוֹכֵר כַּמָּה, אֲבָל זֶה הוּא יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁהָיָה זְמַן גָּדוֹל, אֶפְשָׁר שָׁנָה שֶׁהָלַךְ בָּזֶה וּבִקֵּשׁ תָּמִיד עַל זֶה. וְלֹא הָיְתָה שִׂיחָה וּתְפִלָּה שֶׁלֹּא בִּקֵּשׁ עַל־זֶה שֶׁיִּסְתַּלֵּק עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם.
The Rebbe did not remember how long this lasted, perhaps for a year. All during this time, he would not say a prayer without also asking God to allow him to give his life for His Name. He constantly included this petition, despite his great terror of death.
וּמִגֹּדֶל פַּחְדּוֹ וְיִרְאָתוֹ אָז מֵהַמִּיתָה כַּנַּ"ל, הָיָה זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ אֶצְלוֹ מְסִירַת נֶפֶשׁ עַל קִדּוּשׁ הַשֵּׁם מַמָּשׁ מַה שֶּׁהָיָה מִתְפַּלֵּל עַל זֶה. כִּי הָיָה פַּחְדּוֹ גָּדוֹל מְאֹד אָז מִזֶּה.
So great was the Rebbe’s fear of death that these prayers themselves were like giving his life.
וּמֵהַנַּ"ל הֵבַנְתִּי, שֶׁאוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר שֶׁמִּתְגַּבֵּר עַל הָאָדָם וְהוּא מְשֻׁקָּע בּוֹ, אוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר דַּוְקָא הוּא צָרִיךְ לְשַׁבֵּר בִּשְׁבִיל הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, כִּי זֶה עִקַּר עֲבוֹדָתוֹ (עַיֵּן בְּרָכוֹת נד.). וּכְמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ ז"ל (דְּבָרִים ו): "וּבְכָל מְאֹדֶךָ" – 'יֵשׁ לְךָ אָדָם שֶׁחָבִיב עָלָיו' וְכוּ' (מָמוֹנוֹ מִגּוּפוֹ בְּרָכוֹת סא:) וְהָבֵן:
From this we learned that to serve God, you must overcome precisely the thing that overwhelms you most. It is written, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5). According to the Talmud, “with all your soul” means that one should give one’s life for God. “With all your might” means that the same is true of all one’s money (Berakhot 54a). The Talmud then asks: If one must give his life for God, why is it necessary to state that he must also give his money? It answers that there are some people who value their wealth more than their lives (ibid., 61b). Understand this.