The Rebbe once spoke about young married men who find their prayers greatly disturbed by the fact that they have not sanctified themselves properly in their marital relations. They feel tainted and find prayer very difficult.
The Rebbe constantly warned us not to become discouraged because of this. He said, “What happened, happened (Pesachim 108a, Yoma 5b, etc.). When you pray, you must forget everything else (see “His Wisdom” #26). No matter what happened, strengthen yourself and pray properly.”
He said this is the meaning of Abba Benjamin’s saying: “I am concerned … that my prayer should be close to my bed” (Berakhot 5b). The bed is marital relations (Ketubot 10b). “My prayer should be close to my bed”: I should be able to pray immediately after leaving “my bed” and not be disturbed at all.
שָׁמַעְתִּי בִּשְׁמוֹ שֶׁאָמַר לְעִנְיַן בְּנֵי הַנְּעוּרִים, שֶׁעַל פִּי הָרֹב מְבַלְבֵּל אוֹתָם בִּתְפִלָּתָם מֵחֲמַת שֶׁלֹּא זָכוּ לְהִתְקַדֵּשׁ כָּרָאוּי בִּקְדֻשַּׁת הַזִּוּוּג. וְעַל כֵּן כְּשֶׁעוֹמְדִין אַחַר כָּךְ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל קָשֶׁה עֲלֵיהֶם מְאֹד לְהִתְפַּלֵּל.
The Rebbe once spoke about young married men who find their prayers greatly disturbed by the fact that they have not sanctified themselves properly in their marital relations. They feel tainted and find prayer very difficult.
וְהוּא ז"ל, הִזְהִיר עַל זֶה כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים לִבְלִי לִפֹּל בְּדַעְתּוֹ מִזֶּה כְּלָל. וּמָה דַּהֲוֵה הֲוֵה, וּבִשְׁעַת הַתְּפִלָּה צְרִיכִין לִשְׁכֹּחַ הַכֹּל לְגַמְרֵי וּלְהִתְגַּבֵּר לְהִתְפַּלֵּל בְּשִׂמְחָה כָּרָאוּי תָּמִיד אֵיךְ שֶׁהוּא.
The Rebbe constantly warned us not to become discouraged because of this. He said, “What happened, happened (Pesachim 108a, Yoma 5b, etc.). When you pray, you must forget everything else (see “His Wisdom” #26). No matter what happened, strengthen yourself and pray properly.”
וְאָמַר: שֶׁעַל זֶה (בְּרָכוֹת ה:) 'הִצְטַעֵר אַבָּא בִּנְיָמִין, עַל תְּפִלָּתִי שֶׁתְּהֵא סְמוּכָה לְמִטָּתִי'. 'מִטָּה' הוּא לְשׁוֹן זִוּוּג (כְּתֻבּוֹת י:) וְזֶהוּ: 'עַל תְּפִלָּתִי שֶׁתְּהֵא סְמוּכָה לְמִטָּתִי' שֶׁאוּכַל לְהִתְפַּלֵּל אַחַר כָּךְ בְּסָמוּךְ מִיָּד, וְלֹא יְבַלְבֵּל הָעִנְיָן הַזֶּה אֶת תְּפִלָּתִי כְּלָל.
He said this is the meaning of Abba Benjamin’s saying: “I am concerned … that my prayer should be close to my bed” (Berakhot 5b). The bed is marital relations (Ketubot 10b). “My prayer should be close to my bed”: I should be able to pray immediately after leaving “my bed” and not be disturbed at all.