The Rebbe’s granddaughter was once stricken with smallpox.297See Yemey Moharnat #9. This took place after Shavuot 5565/1805, at the same time as the Rebbe revealed the Ten Psalms and gave his manuscript of Likutey Moharan to be bound (see note 327). This is most probably the revelation that he speaks of here as being responsible for the child's illness. It was also shortly after the birth of his son, Shlomo Ephraim, and his journey to Sharograd. The lesson revealed that Shavuot (Likutey Moharan I, 56) brings many of these concepts together. It speaks of long life and making hidden mysteries into lessons (3). It also speaks of doctors and of sicknesses involving body fluids, such as smallpox (9). I was with the Rebbe, and he spoke to me of the great anguish that this caused him.
He then spoke of how God’s ways cannot be understood. One of the holy Ari’s sons once died. The Ari said that he had died because of a secret teaching that the Ari had revealed to Rabbi Chaim Vital.298Rabbi Chaim Vital (1543-1620) was the foremost disciple of the Ari and was responsible for recording most of his master's teachings. Rabbi Chaim had asked the Ari to explain the secret of the Gazelle mentioned in the Zohar (III, 249b). The Ari demurred, saying that the Zohar's author himself said that one should not ask about this (ibid., III, 52b). The next week, the Ari's son, Moshe, passed away. A while later, Rabbi Chaim asked the Ari to explain the meaning of another secret passing in the Zohar (Tosefta, 3:55b). Again the Ari demurred, but gave in at Rabbi Chaim's urging. Soon after this, the Ari said that he too would pass away for revealing this secret (Shevachey HaAri [Warsaw, 1875], p. 11b f.).
The Ari actually had no other choice. Rabbi Chaim had pressed him greatly and the Ari was therefore compelled to reveal the secret. He himself had said that the only reason he was born into this world was to rectify Rabbi Chaim Vital’s soul.299Ibid., 3a. He was therefore compelled from on high to reveal this mystery at Rabbi Chaim’s request. Although he was compelled, the Ari was still punished for doing so. These are the ways of God that cannot possibly be grasped by human intellect.300This is also alluded to at the end of the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 56, mentioned above. It was part of a longer discussion involving many things that cannot be understood (Tzaddik #150).
From what the Rebbe said, we could understand that this was also true of him. Both he and his children had suffered greatly, and this all happened because he was involved in bringing us closer to God.
God certainly desired this and the Rebbe had no other choice. It is written, “He thinks thoughts so that the outcast not be banished from him” (II Samuel 14:14). God wanted the Rebbe to bring the “outcasts” back to Him. Still, the Rebbe had to suffer because of this. This is God’s incomprehensible way.
The Rebbe continued to speak of the great suffering he experienced because of his grandchild’s illness. He said, “I would prefer that I myself be stricken instead of the child.
“But this is for my benefit. “A stranger may have an ill child and bring me a pidyon or ask that I pray for him. I will then be able to feel his suffering as much as I do now.
The Rebbe then told me the story of a disciple who had recently left him. He said that he had suffered as much at that time as he did because of his grandchild.
One of the Rebbe’s followers later told me that the same thing happened after his baby son, Shlomo Ephraim, passed away.301The child died after Shavuot 5566/1806 at the age of fifteen months. Shavuot was on Friday and Shabbat, and on the next Thursday, after the child died, Reb Noson and R' Naftali were with the Rebbe. On Friday, the Rebbe revealed the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 65 which speaks of the “Master of the Field.” This Master of the Field is the gardener of souls, often at the expense of his own life and the lives of his loved ones. The Rebbe also revealed the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 262, which states that new teaching must result in tears. On 5 Av, the yahrtzeit of the Ari, this was again discussed (Yemey Moharnat #11; Tzaddik #48, #154, #157; Parparaot LeChokhmah #65; Avenehah Barzel, p. 30, #32). The Rebbe told his followers, “I am suffering because of you. The holy Ari was punished for revealing one secret mystery. How much more is this true of me, when I have revealed so many secrets like these.”
פַּעַם אַחַת הָיָה נֶכְדּוֹ ז"ל, מֻטָּל עַל עֶרֶשׂ מֵחֳלִי הַפָּאקִין (אַבַּעְבּוּעוֹת שְׁחוֹרוֹת) רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן (שעב). וְהָיָה קוֹבֵל לְפָנַי מְאֹד, שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ צַעַר גָּדוֹל מִזֶּה מְאֹד.
The Rebbe’s granddaughter was once stricken with smallpox.297See Yemey Moharnat #9. This took place after Shavuot 5565/1805, at the same time as the Rebbe revealed the Ten Psalms and gave his manuscript of Likutey Moharan to be bound (see note 327). This is most probably the revelation that he speaks of here as being responsible for the child's illness. It was also shortly after the birth of his son, Shlomo Ephraim, and his journey to Sharograd. The lesson revealed that Shavuot (Likutey Moharan I, 56) brings many of these concepts together. It speaks of long life and making hidden mysteries into lessons (3). It also speaks of doctors and of sicknesses involving body fluids, such as smallpox (9). I was with the Rebbe, and he spoke to me of the great anguish that this caused him.
וְסִפֵּר לִי אָז וְאָמַר: שֶׁיֵּשׁ דַּרְכֵי ה' שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לַהֲבִינָם. כִּי אִיתָא שֶׁאֵצֶל הָאֲרִ"י ז"ל נִסְתַּלֵּק בֵּן אֶחָד, וְאָמַר: שֶׁנִּסְתַּלֵּק בִּשְׁבִיל הַסוֹד שֶׁגִּלָּה לְתַלְמִידוֹ רַבִּי חַיִּים וִיטַאל ז"ל.
He then spoke of how God’s ways cannot be understood. One of the holy Ari’s sons once died. The Ari said that he had died because of a secret teaching that the Ari had revealed to Rabbi Chaim Vital.298Rabbi Chaim Vital (1543-1620) was the foremost disciple of the Ari and was responsible for recording most of his master's teachings. Rabbi Chaim had asked the Ari to explain the secret of the Gazelle mentioned in the Zohar (III, 249b). The Ari demurred, saying that the Zohar's author himself said that one should not ask about this (ibid., III, 52b). The next week, the Ari's son, Moshe, passed away. A while later, Rabbi Chaim asked the Ari to explain the meaning of another secret passing in the Zohar (Tosefta, 3:55b). Again the Ari demurred, but gave in at Rabbi Chaim's urging. Soon after this, the Ari said that he too would pass away for revealing this secret (Shevachey HaAri [Warsaw, 1875], p. 11b f.).
וַהֲלֹא בֶּאֱמֶת הָאֲרִ"י הָיָה מֻכְרָח לְגַלּוֹת לוֹ, כִּי רַבִּי חַיִּים וִיטַאל הִפְצִיר בּוֹ מְאֹד, וּכְשֶׁהִפְצִיר בּוֹ הָיָה מֻכְרָח לְגַלּוֹת לוֹ, כִּי אָמַר שֶׁלֹּא בָּא לָעוֹלָם כִּי אִם לְתַקֵּן נִשְׁמָתוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי חַיִּים וִיטַאל ז"ל. נִמְצָא שֶׁהָיָה מֻכְרָח מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם לְגַלּוֹת לוֹ הַסּוֹד, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן נֶעֱנַשׁ עַל יְדֵי זֶה כַּנַּ"ל. וְזֶהוּ דַּרְכֵי ה' שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לְהָבִין בַּשֵּׂכֶל בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן.
The Ari actually had no other choice. Rabbi Chaim had pressed him greatly and the Ari was therefore compelled to reveal the secret. He himself had said that the only reason he was born into this world was to rectify Rabbi Chaim Vital’s soul.299Ibid., 3a. He was therefore compelled from on high to reveal this mystery at Rabbi Chaim’s request. Although he was compelled, the Ari was still punished for doing so. These are the ways of God that cannot possibly be grasped by human intellect.300This is also alluded to at the end of the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 56, mentioned above. It was part of a longer discussion involving many things that cannot be understood (Tzaddik #150).
וְהַמּוּבָן מִדְּבָרָיו לְעִנְיַן עַצְמוֹ, שֶׁכָּל צַעֲרוֹ וְיִסּוּרִין וְצַעַר בָּנָיו שֶׁיִּחְיוּ, הַכֹּל הוּא רַק מֵחֲמַת שֶׁעוֹסֵק עִמָּנוּ לְקָרְבֵנוּ לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ.
From what the Rebbe said, we could understand that this was also true of him. Both he and his children had suffered greatly, and this all happened because he was involved in bringing us closer to God.
וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא מֻכְרָח לָזֶה, כִּי בְּוַדַּאי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ רוֹצֶה בָּזֶה, כִּי הוּא יִתְבָּרַךְ חוֹשֵׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת לְבַל יִדַּח מִמֶּנּוּ נִדָּח, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן הָיָה לוֹ יִסּוּרִים קָשִׁים גְּדוֹלִים מְאֹד עַל יְדֵי זֶה, כִּי הוּא דַּרְכֵי ה' כַּנַּ"ל.
God certainly desired this and the Rebbe had no other choice. It is written, “He thinks thoughts so that the outcast not be banished from him” (II Samuel 14:14). God wanted the Rebbe to bring the “outcasts” back to Him. Still, the Rebbe had to suffer because of this. This is God’s incomprehensible way.
וְהָיָה הוֹלֵךְ וּמְסַפֵּר לְפָנַי צַעֲרוֹ הַגָּדוֹל שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ מִזֶּה שֶׁנֶּכְדּוֹ חוֹלֶה כַּנַּ"ל. וְאָמַר: שֶׁהוּא רוֹצֶה שֶׁהוּא בְּעַצְמוֹ יִהְיֶה חוֹלֶה בְּעַד הַתִּינוֹק הַנַּ"ל.
The Rebbe continued to speak of the great suffering he experienced because of his grandchild’s illness. He said, “I would prefer that I myself be stricken instead of the child.
וְאָמַר: שֶׁהוּא מַרְגִּישׁ כָּל גְּנִיחוֹת הַתִּינוֹק (שֶׁקּוֹרִין קְרֶעכְצִין) בְּלִבּוֹ וְכוּ'.
“I can feel each one of the child’s groans deep in my heart.
אַחַר כָּךְ אָמַר: אַךְ זֹאת יֵחָשֵׁב לִי לְטוֹבָה שֶׁגַּם כְּשֶׁאָדָם אַחֵר יֵשׁ לוֹ חוֹלֶה בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ וּמֵבִיא לִי פִּדְיוֹן אוֹ מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל עָלָיו, יֵשׁ לִי גַּם כֵּן צַעַר כָּזֶה מַמָּשׁ כְּכָל הנ"ל.
“But this is for my benefit. “A stranger may have an ill child and bring me a pidyon or ask that I pray for him. I will then be able to feel his suffering as much as I do now.
גַּם כְּשֶׁאֶחָד מֵאֲנָשֵׁינוּ, שֶׁהָיָה מְקֹרָב מִתְרַחֵק עַצְמוֹ ח"ו, יֵשׁ לִי צַעַר כָּזֶה מַמָּשׁ בְּלִבִּי כְּכָל הנ"ל.
“When one of my followers leaves me, Heaven forbid, I have as much pain in my heart as I have at this time.”
וְסִפֵּר אָז מֵאֶחָד שֶׁנִּתְרַחֵק בְּאוֹתָן הַיָּמִים, וְאָמַר: שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ כָּל צַעַר הַנַּ"ל.
The Rebbe then told me the story of a disciple who had recently left him. He said that he had suffered as much at that time as he did because of his grandchild.
שׁוּב שָׁמַעְתִּי מֵאִישׁ אֶחָד מֵאֲנָשָׁיו שֶׁשָּׁמַע גַּם כֵּן מֵרַבֵּנוּ ז"ל, עִנְיָן זֶה בְּעֵת שֶׁנִּסְתַּלֵּק אֶצְלוֹ בְּנוֹ הַקָּטָן שְׁלֹמֹה אֶפְרַיִם ז"ל. שֶׁאָמַר שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ יִסּוּרִים בִּשְׁבִילֵנוּ. הֲלֹא הָאֲרִ"י ז"ל, לֹא גִּלָּה כִּי אִם סוֹד אֶחָד הָיָה לוֹ עֹנֶשׁ, מִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁאֲנִי גִּלִּיתִי לָכֶם כָּל כָּךְ סוֹדוֹת רַבּוֹת כָּאֵלֶּה.
One of the Rebbe’s followers later told me that the same thing happened after his baby son, Shlomo Ephraim, passed away.301The child died after Shavuot 5566/1806 at the age of fifteen months. Shavuot was on Friday and Shabbat, and on the next Thursday, after the child died, Reb Noson and R' Naftali were with the Rebbe. On Friday, the Rebbe revealed the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 65 which speaks of the “Master of the Field.” This Master of the Field is the gardener of souls, often at the expense of his own life and the lives of his loved ones. The Rebbe also revealed the lesson in Likutey Moharan I, 262, which states that new teaching must result in tears. On 5 Av, the yahrtzeit of the Ari, this was again discussed (Yemey Moharnat #11; Tzaddik #48, #154, #157; Parparaot LeChokhmah #65; Avenehah Barzel, p. 30, #32). The Rebbe told his followers, “I am suffering because of you. The holy Ari was punished for revealing one secret mystery. How much more is this true of me, when I have revealed so many secrets like these.”