I heard this from R' Yudel280R' Yudel was one of Rebbe Nachman's earliest followers, joining him in Medvedevka. He was a prominent Kabbalist and son-in-law of the renowned Rabbi Leib of Trastnitz (Kokhavey Or, p. 26, #23). See “His Wisdom” #292. of sainted memory: The Rebbe once vaunted the fact that he was unique in completely overcoming all his desires. No one as young as he had ever overcome his desires so completely.
Many tzaddikim have banished their desires, but not until they were at an advanced age. The Rebbe then mentioned a number of tzaddikim as examples, saying that he knew that they did not completely vanquish their desires until they were advanced in years.
The Rebbe began to tell how removed he was from all worldly desires. He said, “ Eating is contemptible to me. My meals are a great difficulty and burden. When I think of what becomes of the food I eat, it becomes very disagreeable to me. I must distract myself and think of other things when I eat.”
This is the reason why the Rebbe would often converse during his meal. He would distract himself and thereby be able to snatch some nourishment to sustain his body. For in general, he found eating very disagreeable (see “His Praises” #21).
שָׁמַעְתִּי מֵרַבִּי יוּדְל זצ"ל, שֶׁאָמַר שֶׁשָּׁמַע מֵרַבֵּנוּ ז"ל שֶׁהִתְפָּאֵר: שֶׁהוּא חִדּוּשׁ גָּדוֹל בְּעִנְיַן שְׁבִירַת תַּאֲווֹת, שֶׁאִישׁ רַךְ בְּשָׁנִים כְּמוֹתוֹ יִשְׁבֹּר לְגַמְרֵי כָּל כָּךְ כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת – זֶה הַדָּבָר לֹא נִמְצָא כְּלָל.
I heard this from R' Yudel280R' Yudel was one of Rebbe Nachman's earliest followers, joining him in Medvedevka. He was a prominent Kabbalist and son-in-law of the renowned Rabbi Leib of Trastnitz (Kokhavey Or, p. 26, #23). See “His Wisdom” #292. of sainted memory: The Rebbe once vaunted the fact that he was unique in completely overcoming all his desires. No one as young as he had ever overcome his desires so completely.
כִּי נִמְצָאִים כַּמָּה צַדִּיקִים שֶׁיָּצְאוּ מִן הַתַּאֲווֹת אֲבָל לֹא יָצְאוּ לְגַמְרֵי עַד עֵת זִקְנָתָם, וְתָפַס לְדֻגְמָא כַּמָּה צַדִּיקִים גְּדוֹלִים, וְאָמַר שֶׁיּוֹדֵעַ שֶׁלֹּא יָצְאוּ מִן הַתַּאֲווֹת עַד אֲשֶׁר בָּאוּ בְּשָׁנִים.
Many tzaddikim have banished their desires, but not until they were at an advanced age. The Rebbe then mentioned a number of tzaddikim as examples, saying that he knew that they did not completely vanquish their desires until they were advanced in years.
אֲבָל אִישׁ רַךְ בְּשָׁנִים כָּמוֹנִי, בִּימֵי הַנְּעוּרִים וְהַיַּלְדוּת מַמָּשׁ יִשְׁבֹּר כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת כָּל כָּךְ כָּמוֹנִי, זֶה אֵין נִמְצָא כְּלָל.
He said, “For a youth like me to break down all desires is something unheard of.”
וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל, שֶׁבִּימֵי יַלְדוּתוֹ מַמָּשׁ קֹדֶם שֶׁהָיָה בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים שָׁנָה כְּבָר שָׁבַר וּבִטֵּל לְגַמְרֵי כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת בְּתַכְלִית הַבִּטּוּל:
As we have mentioned earlier, the Rebbe had vanquished his every worldly desire before the age of twenty (see “His Praises” #25).
וְהִתְחִיל לְסַפֵּר אָז אֵיךְ הוּא רָחוֹק מִכָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת. וְאָמַר: שֶׁלֶּאֱכֹל נִמְאָס אֶצְלוֹ לְגַמְרֵי וּכְשֶׁבָּא לוֹ עֵת הָאֲכִילָה קָשֶׁה וְכָבֵד עָלָיו מְאֹד, וּכְשֶׁנִּזְכָּר מַה שֶּׁנַּעֲשֶׂה מִן הָאֲכִילָה נִמְאָס עָלָיו מְאֹד מְאֹד לֶאֱכֹל וְהוּא מֻכְרָח בְּעֵת הָאֲכִילָה לְהַסִּיחַ דַּעְתּוֹ.
The Rebbe began to tell how removed he was from all worldly desires. He said, “ Eating is contemptible to me. My meals are a great difficulty and burden. When I think of what becomes of the food I eat, it becomes very disagreeable to me. I must distract myself and think of other things when I eat.”
וְעַל כֵּן הוּא מְדַבֵּר לִפְעָמִים בִּשְׁעַת אֲכִילָה כְּדֵי שֶׁיּוּכַל בְּהֶסַּח הַדַּעַת לַחֲטֹף אֵיזֶה מְעַט אֲכִילָה לְתוֹךְ גּוּפוֹ בִּשְׁבִיל קִיּוּם הַגּוּף כִּי קָשֶׁה וְנִמְאָס מְאֹד עָלָיו הָאֲכִילָה.
This is the reason why the Rebbe would often converse during his meal. He would distract himself and thereby be able to snatch some nourishment to sustain his body. For in general, he found eating very disagreeable (see “His Praises” #21).
וּבְעִנְיַן תַּאֲוַת מִשְׁגָּל בָּזֶה אֲנִי חִדּוּשׁ נִפְלָא. (וּכְבָר מְבֹאָר מִזֶּה בְּמָקוֹם אַחֵר)
He said, “Regarding overcoming sexual desires, I am wondrously unique” (see “His Praises #16).