The main theme of this prayer is Teshuvah — repentance. Our own pride may stand in the way of our apprehension of God. To experience God's glory, we must stop pursuing honor and esteem for ourselves, and strive only to enhance God's glory. The essence of Teshuvah is to accept insults and indignities in silence as an atonement for our sins. Teshuvah is not a single event but a continuing pathway. Even after beginning Teshuvah, our conception of God may still be influenced by materialistic images. As our perception develops, we must repent for the inadequacies of our earlier repentance. Spiritual life has many ups and downs. In order to be able to follow the path of Teshuvah steadily at all times, two skills are necessary: the ability to maintain our balance even at moments of intense enthusiasm, and the determination to continue with our efforts even if we experience failure and dejection. This way we can find God in all situations, good or bad, thereby affirming the perfect unity that underlies everything in the creation, from the highest of levels down to the lowest. HaShem our God and God of our fathers, God of love and kindness: Have pity on me and on my poor soul, which is thirsty, hungry and yearning to return to You. Help me repent completely for all my sins and transgressions. Those who come to be cleansed and purified are helped from Heaven. Let me be one of them, and You Yourself assist me in purifying myself of my sins, so that I will be able to come to perfect Teshuvah for all of them.
Loving God: Have compassion on me and see my wretchedness and degradation. Was it for this futile life of mine that You created me? I feel I'm hardly worthy of being called a person at all. It is as if I have no real existence in this world. It would have been better for me not to have been created in the first place, considering all the wrong I have done.
I have come before You now, HaShem, to plead with You to help me through the power of Your great Name EHYEH — “I will be” — with which You revealed Yourself when You began to redeem Your children from Egypt. You wanted to make them Your people and remove them from the pollution of Egypt. You said to Moshe at the burning bush: “Tell this to the Children of Israel: EHYEH sent me to you.”
Through the power of this holy Name, help me make a whole new start and prepare myself to be in this world — to exist and live as the person You intended me to be, through returning to You in sincere, genuine Teshuvah. Help me feel the pain of my many sins and transgressions and to come to perfect Teshuvah.
Help me bear shame and embarrassment without throwing insults back in return. Even if I hear myself abused, let me not reply. “To those that curse me, let my soul be silent.” No matter how other people may abuse and insult me, let me hold my peace and say nothing.
Let me “silently wait for HaShem and hope in Him”, and “let me be like a man who does not hear and has no complaints on his lips....” “I will be like a deaf person — I will not hear; I will be like a dumb person who will not open his mouth.”
HaShem, I know the truth: all the insults in the world would not be enough to cleanse me, considering the weight of all my sins. It is impossible to express in words how degraded I have become through my own choices and actions. My sins have cast a stain on Your great glory. I have dishonored Your holy Name, and I have mightily abused my own soul through my sins. I have given power to the blood in the left side of the heart, which has strengthened my evil inclination.
To make up for all this I must simply bear even the worst insults and persecution. So HaShem, when people abuse and insult me, help me bear it in silence, in order that this should be my atonement for all my sins.
HaShem, my God: In my heart of hearts I know that I am very far from genuine Teshuvah. My sins have gone over my head. They have left me in such a state of mental confusion that I really have no idea how to come back to You. My good sense and intelligence have left me, and I feel as if I have no heart. I go around like a vagrant, devoid of mind and heart.
HaShem, You know my foolishness. I cannot conceal my guilt from You. Father, loving Father, what should I do? Where should I run for help? What possible remedy or strategy can I find to save my soul from destruction? “I lift up my eyes to the mountains: from where will my help come?” Help me! Help me! Please! Please be kind to me! Show me Your love and mercy! Save me!
Shine upon me from Your holy habitation, and cause a spirit of wisdom and understanding, holiness and purity to rest upon me, so that I will be able to genuinely sanctify and purify myself and come back to You in perfect Teshuvah. Let me hold my peace and say nothing to those who abuse and insult my soul. Let me “silently wait for HaShem and hope in Him”, bearing all degradation and persecution with love, as an atonement for my sins.
Master of the Universe: Through Your holy sages, of blessed memory, You have given us a distant hint of the exalted holiness of the Jewish People. Every single Jew is a “crown” to the Holy One blessed be He. I therefore want to ask You to help me to always try to search for all the good points that are to be found in each Jew, and to judge everyone favorably.
Even when people are against me and abuse and insult me, let me hold my peace and say nothing. Even in my heart, let me feel no hatred or anger. Instead, let me judge them favorably and assume that their intentions are pure. Give me to understand that according to their way of looking at things, they are convinced that they are doing the right thing by insulting me.
Indeed I know that all the abuse in the world would still be less than I deserve, seeing that I have sinned so much. If I am a member of the holy Jewish People, each one of whom is a “crown of the King”, how could I have taken so little care not to demean the honor of the King through the wrong I have done? I surely deserve every kind of abuse, since “those who show contempt for Me will be despised.”
In that case, how can I be angry at those who insult me? How can I hold it against them, considering I deserve everything I get and more? How can I take them to task for not treating me with sufficient respect, when every single one of them is a precious “crown” of HaShem? So please, HaShem, help me keep quiet and hold my peace, and bear everything with love. And through this, bring me to perfect Teshuvah, which is bound up with the holy Name of EHYEH, the Crown, as Your sages have taught us.
Help me to follow the path of Teshuvah all my days. “Who can say, `I have cleansed my heart and purified myself of sin'?” You know our hearts, and how we often have mixed and impure motives for even the good that we do. Even when I am confessing my sins, I have improper thoughts and motives. I find it impossible to say even a single word sincerely and honestly. My sins are real enough, but I have a block against owning up to them.
So please help me to keep going forward on the path of Teshuvah, and to repent over my repentance — to make amends for the inadequacy of my earlier Teshuvah. This way, with Your help, I will eventually be able to attain the highest level of Teshuvah: You will open my heart and mind to know Your Name, and I will then attain such a level of spiritual perception that I will understand that I have not even begun to repent as yet in a way that is commensurate with Your awesome greatness and exaltedness.
You will then help me repent genuinely over my earlier repentance. With each new and higher perception of Your exaltedness, I will repent over the limitations of my earlier perceptions, and for having allowed material images to influence the way I conceive of You, detracting from the supreme exaltedness of Your divinity. I will keep going forward on the path of Teshuvah every day of my life, until the day when You will finally take my soul and bring me to the World to Come, the “day that is all Shabbat, all Teshuvah.”
Help me to slaughter my Evil Urge, and thereby give You honor in two worlds, This World and the World to Come, as it is written, “The one who slaughters [the evil urge, and offers] the thanksgiving offering will give Me honor.”
Help me run away from honor. Let me minimize my own importance, while doing everything I can to enhance the glory of God. Grant me a share in Your great glory, and lovingly bring me to experience the glory of God and attain holy glory for Your sake alone. Let me never make use of Your glory for my own personal advantage, but only for the sake of Your Name and in Your service, and let no one feel the need to raise questions about my reputation and honor.
HaShem, help me be firm, strong and determined in Your service at all times. Don't let me ever fall away, God forbid. “Don't throw me down from before You, and do not take Your holy spirit from me.” Bring me to be one of those who is always “coming in and going out” of the Palace of the King, constantly striving to achieve ever greater intimacy. Teach me how to “run forward” to new spiritual heights, and then “return” and integrate the perceptions and insights I have gained into my life as a whole. Help me develop the skills I need during all the different phases of my spiritual life, both when I am making progress and when I find myself regressing. Let me be expert at “running forward,” and expert at “returning,” expert when “coming in” and expert when “going out.”
Let me be able to find You everywhere, whether I go up or down, as it is written: “If I go up to Heaven, there You are, and even if I make my bed in hell, behold, there You are!” Let me constantly reach out for connection with You, so that I will be able to say: “I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine.”
Please, HaShem, have compassion on me and remember me for good. Don't abandon me, and do not leave me to sink and become trapped in the lowly, degraded situations I have been caught in until now. “Don't forsake me, HaShem my God, and don't keep far from me. Don't let me be swallowed up in the depths, and don't let the pit shut its mouth over me.”
Be kind to me and lift me out of the dust. Help me rise from my degraded state. Be with me, just as You promised You would be with Yaakov: “I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will surely bring you up.” It is true that I have fallen, but I ask You to let my fall be a preparation for a great ascent. Have pity on me. Send me Your help and take hold of me with Your loving hand of mercy. Support me tenderly and lovingly, and always be with me. Give me the strength and good sense to hold on to You at all times, and never ever let me fall. It is written: “Even if he falls, he will not be cast aside, because HaShem is supporting him by the hand.” Fulfil this in me.
Grant me spiritual freedom very soon. From today on, release me from the vicious cycle of backsliding and failure I have been caught in so far. Help me overcome the sense of distance from You that I have had until now. You “lift the poor out of the dust and the needy from the scrap-heap.” I am poor and needy: take pity on me. Be kind to me, and lift me up. “My hands are raised to You. From the ends of the earth I call to You. My heart is fainting. Bring me up to a rock which is too high for me.”
Master of the Universe! Master of the Universe! My Father in heaven: Take pity on me, and drive away all those who are persecuting me and pushing me down. Call a halt to my troubles. Say, “So far and no further.” From now on, help me, and start to lift me up, level by level, quickly and easily. Turn all my spiritual failures into successes. If my relationship with You until now has been one of distance and alienation, let it be transformed from now on into one of closeness and intimacy.
In Your compassion, You have made a start in drawing us close to You. Through the true Tzaddikim You have sent us in each generation, You have begun to shine the light of Your holiness and love upon us. HaShem, it would not be fitting for You to abandon us now.
You began showing us Your greatness and goodness when You gave us Your holy Torah through Moshe, Your faithful prophet. In each generation You have lovingly sent us all the Tzaddikim who have transmitted the Torah to us — from Moshe to Yehoshua, from Yehoshua to the Elders, and from them to the subsequent Elders and Tzaddikim in every generation, until the chain of Torah tradition has now reached us.
Your love for us has still not ceased to flow: “I awaken, and I am still with You.” Just as You have always helped us until now, stir up Your compassion yet again, and help me fulfil the entire Torah in love. Take pity on me and help me remain attached to You and to the true Tzaddikim for ever, both in This World and in the World to Come.
Please, HaShem, lovingly help me open my eyes, my heart and my ears to see, understand and hear Your greatness and exaltedness, and to return to You in complete sincerity and truth. Grant me knowledge, understanding and wisdom to understand and grasp the ways of Teshuvah. Help me to follow them at all times, and let me be a true Baal Teshuvah, a Master of Repentance. For Your right hand is held open to receive those who return, and You want Teshuvah. If not now, when?
Help me come to perfect Teshuvah on the highest level, so that through my efforts to make amends and repair what I must, the lowest point and highest points of creation will be united, and the Supernal Man will be seated upon the throne. Let my nefesh, ru'ach and neshamah be merged in that exalted place from now and for ever.
Restore the moon and fill its dark portions with light. Let the light of the moon be like the light of the sun, and let the light of the sun be sevenfold, like the light of the Seven Days of Creation. For Your Kingship governs everything in heaven and on earth.
Your miracles and wonders are unfathomable. You work out ways to make sure that no-one should be cast aside. You “cause death and bring to life, You take souls down to hell and You bring them up.” You have the power to connect, bind and unify complete opposites — from the lowest depths of hell to the supreme, most exalted heights, from the lowest point to the highest. For “Who will tell You what to do?”
If so, let Your tender mercy reach even me. God who takes pity on the poor and hears the cry of the needy: forge a channel from beneath Your throne of glory down to me, and help me stir and wake up, and return to You in perfect Teshuvah. Help me be genuinely attached to the true Tzaddikim from now on and for ever.
“For You do not wish for the death of the sinner but that he should turn from his ways and live.” “You grind man down to the dust and say, `Return, sons of man.' ... Return, HaShem — until when? Relent over Your servants.” “Bring us back to You, HaShem, and we will return. Renew our days as of old.”
Master of the Universe: Help me to follow the path of perfect Teshuvah at all times, and especially during the holy days of Elul. During this period, our teacher Moshe opened up a pathway of Teshuvah for us consisting of the two skills of “running” and “returning”, based upon the two holy Names of HaVaYaH (in its expansion of SaG) and EHYeH (in its expansion of KeSA), and upon the two holy points — the uppermost and the lowest. This is the essential path of Teshuvah: the initial Teshuvah, and then, Teshuvah on the Teshuvah — respectively the “Teshuvah of This World”, and the “Teshuvah of the World to Come.”
During the holy days of Elul, help me to attain perfect Teshuvah, and let the holiness of Elul be drawn into the entire year, until we are able to follow the path of perfect Teshuvah at all times and to walk all the pathways of Teshuvah perfectly all our days and for ever.
In Your abundant kindness and mercy, accept all the different aspects and levels of our Teshuvah with love and favor, and enable us to “search and examine our ways and return and rise towards HaShem, for Your right hand is stretched out to receive those who wish to return.”
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה ו' - קְרָא אֶת יְהוֹשֻׁעַ]
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶׁתְּרַחֲמֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּדוֹלִים, וְחוּס וַחֲמֹל נָא עָלַי וְעַל נַפְשִׁי הָאֻמְלָלָה, הַצְּמֵאָה וְהָרְעֵבָה וְהַתְּאֵבָה לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת. וְעָזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ, עַל כָּל חֲטָאַי וַעֲוֹנוֹתַי וּפְשָׁעַי, וְזַכֵּנִי שֶׁאֶהְיֶה בִּכְלַל, הַבָּא לִטָּהֵר. וְאַתָּה תְסַיְּעֵנִי מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם לְטַהֲרֵנִי מֵעֲוֹנוֹתַי, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת עַל כָּל עֲוֹנוֹתַי.
The main theme of this prayer is Teshuvah — repentance. Our own pride may stand in the way of our apprehension of God. To experience God's glory, we must stop pursuing honor and esteem for ourselves, and strive only to enhance God's glory. The essence of Teshuvah is to accept insults and indignities in silence as an atonement for our sins.
Teshuvah is not a single event but a continuing pathway. Even after beginning Teshuvah, our conception of God may still be influenced by materialistic images. As our perception develops, we must repent for the inadequacies of our earlier repentance.
Spiritual life has many ups and downs. In order to be able to follow the path of Teshuvah steadily at all times, two skills are necessary: the ability to maintain our balance even at moments of intense enthusiasm, and the determination to continue with our efforts even if we experience failure and dejection. This way we can find God in all situations, good or bad, thereby affirming the perfect unity that underlies everything in the creation, from the highest of levels down to the lowest.
HaShem our God and God of our fathers, God of love and kindness: Have pity on me and on my poor soul, which is thirsty, hungry and yearning to return to You. Help me repent completely for all my sins and transgressions. Those who come to be cleansed and purified are helped from Heaven. Let me be one of them, and You Yourself assist me in purifying myself of my sins, so that I will be able to come to perfect Teshuvah for all of them.
מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, חוּסָה נָא עָלַי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, וּרְאֵה דַלּוּתִי וְשִׁפְלוּתִי, וְעַל מַה שָּׁוְא בְּרָאתַנִי, כִּי עַתָּה אֵין אֲנִי נֶחְשָׁב בְּשֵׁם בְּרִיָּה כְּלָל, וּכְאִלּוּ עֲדַיִן אֵין לִי שׁוּם הֲוָיָה בָּעוֹלָם כְּלָל, כִּי טוֹב לִי שֶׁלֹּא נִבְרֵאתִי, מֵאַחַר שֶׁהֲרֵעוֹתִי אֶת מַעֲשַׂי.
Loving God: Have compassion on me and see my wretchedness and degradation. Was it for this futile life of mine that You created me? I feel I'm hardly worthy of being called a person at all. It is as if I have no real existence in this world. It would have been better for me not to have been created in the first place, considering all the wrong I have done.
וּבְכֵן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי שֶׁתַּעַזְרֵנִי בְּכֹחַ שִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל "אֶהְיֶה" אֲשֶׁר בּוֹ נִקְרֵאתָ בְּעֵת שֶׁהִתְחַלְתָּ לִגְאוֹל אֶת בָּנֶיךָ מִמִּצְרַיִם לַעֲשׂוֹת אוֹתָם לְךָ לְעָם, וְלַהֲשִׁיבָם אֵלֶיךָ מִטֻּמְאַת מִצְרַיִם, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוֹדַעְתָּ לְמֹשֶׁה בַּסְּנֶה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, כֹּה תֹאמַר לִבְנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶהְיֶה שְׁלָחַנִי אֲלֵיכֶם.
I have come before You now, HaShem, to plead with You to help me through the power of Your great Name EHYEH — “I will be” — with which You revealed Yourself when You began to redeem Your children from Egypt. You wanted to make them Your people and remove them from the pollution of Egypt. You said to Moshe at the burning bush: “Tell this to the Children of Israel: EHYEH sent me to you.”
וּבְכֵן בְּכֹחַ הַשֵּׁם הַקָּדוֹשׁ הַזֶּה, תְּזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים שֶׁאַתְחִיל לְהָכִין עַצְמִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לִי הֲוָיָה בָּעוֹלָם, עַל יְדֵי שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְגִּישׁ כְּאֵב חֲטָאַי וַעֲוֹנוֹתַי הַמְּרֻבִּים, וְלָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ.
Through the power of this holy Name, help me make a whole new start and prepare myself to be in this world — to exist and live as the person You intended me to be, through returning to You in sincere, genuine Teshuvah. Help me feel the pain of my many sins and transgressions and to come to perfect Teshuvah.
וְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת מִן הַנֶּעְלָבִים וְאֵינָם עוֹלְבִים שׁוֹמְעִים חֶרְפָּתָם וְאֵינָם מְשִׁיבִים. וְלִמְקַלְלַי נַפְשִׁי תִדּוֹם. וְעַל כָּל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת וְחֵרוּפִים וְגִדּוּפִים שֶׁאֶשְׁמַע מֵאֵיזֶה אָדָם שֶׁיְּבַזֶּה אוֹתִי, אֶדּוֹם וְאֶשְׁתּוֹק לוֹ.
Help me bear shame and embarrassment without throwing insults back in return. Even if I hear myself abused, let me not reply. “To those that curse me, let my soul be silent.” No matter how other people may abuse and insult me, let me hold my peace and say nothing.
כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, דֹּם לַיהֹוָה וְהִתְחוֹלֵל לוֹ. וָאֱהִי כְּאִישׁ אֲשֶׁר לֹא שׁוֹמֵעַ וְאֵין בְּפִיו תֹּכָחוֹת. כְּחֵרֵשׁ לֹא אֶשְׁמָע וּכְאִלֵּם לֹא יִפְתַּח פִּיו.
Let me “silently wait for HaShem and hope in Him”, and “let me be like a man who does not hear and has no complaints on his lips....” “I will be like a deaf person — I will not hear; I will be like a dumb person who will not open his mouth.”
כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת יָדַעְתִּי יְהֹוָה כִּי כָל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם אֵינָם מַסְפִּיקִים לִי לְפִי גֹדֶל חֲטָאַי הַמְּרֻבִּים, כִּי אֲנִי נִבְזֶה יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר מִכָּל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מַה שֶׁהַפֶּה יָכוֹל לְדַבֵּר, כִּי בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים פָּגַמְתִּי בִּכְבוֹדְךָ הַגָּדוֹל וְהַקָּדוֹשׁ, וְלֹא כִבַּדְתִּי אֶת שִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל, וּבִזִיתִי אֶת נַפְשִׁי מְאֹד עַל יְדֵי עֲוֹנוֹתַי, וְנָתַתִּי תוֹקֶף לְהַדָּם שֶׁבְּחָלָל הַשְּׂמָאלִי שֶׁבַּלֵּב.
HaShem, I know the truth: all the insults in the world would not be enough to cleanse me, considering the weight of all my sins. It is impossible to express in words how degraded I have become through my own choices and actions. My sins have cast a stain on Your great glory. I have dishonored Your holy Name, and I have mightily abused my own soul through my sins. I have given power to the blood in the left side of the heart, which has strengthened my evil inclination.
עַל כֵּן בְּוַדַּאי חוֹבָה עָלַי לִסְבּוֹל בִּזְיוֹנוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים. לָכֵן עָזְרֵנִי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי שֶׁלֹּא אָשִׁיב דָּבָר לִמְחָרְפֵי וְלִמְבַזֵּי נַפְשִׁי, לְמַעַן יִהְיֶה לִי לְכַפָּרָה עַל כָּל עֲוֹנוֹתַי:
To make up for all this I must simply bear even the worst insults and persecution. So HaShem, when people abuse and insult me, help me bear it in silence, in order that this should be my atonement for all my sins.
יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי נַפְשִׁי יוֹדַעַת מְאֹד כִּי אֲנִי רָחוֹק מְאֹד מִתְּשׁוּבָה בֶּאֱמֶת, כִּי עֲוֹנוֹתַי עָבְרוּ רֹאשִׁי, וּבִלְבְּלוּ אֶת דַּעְתִּי, עַד שֶׁאֵין אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ כְּלָל אֵיךְ לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ. וְהַדַּעַת נִסְתַּלֵּק מִמֶּנִּי וְלִבִּי עֲזָבָנִי, וַאֲנִי הוֹלֵךְ בָּעוֹלָם נָע וָנָד בְּלֹא דַעַת וּבְלֹא לֵב:
HaShem, my God: In my heart of hearts I know that I am very far from genuine Teshuvah. My sins have gone over my head. They have left me in such a state of mental confusion that I really have no idea how to come back to You. My good sense and intelligence have left me, and I feel as if I have no heart. I go around like a vagrant, devoid of mind and heart.
יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהִים אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ לְאִוַּלְתִּי וְאַשְׁמוֹתַי מִמְּךָ לֹא נִכְחָדוּ. וְעַתָּה אָבִי אָבִי מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה, אָנָּא אָנוּס לְעֶזְרָה, וְאֵיךְ אֲבַקֵּשׁ תְּרוּפָה וְתַחְבּוּלָה וְעֵצָה לְהִמָּלֵט עַל נַפְשִׁי לְהַצִּיל נַפְשִׁי מִנִּי שָׁחַת. אֶשָּׂא עֵינַי אֶל הֶהָרִים מֵאַיִן יָבוֹא עֶזְרִי. עָזְרֵנִי עָזְרֵנִי, חָנֵּנִי חָנֵּנִי, הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים,
HaShem, You know my foolishness. I cannot conceal my guilt from You. Father, loving Father, what should I do? Where should I run for help? What possible remedy or strategy can I find to save my soul from destruction? “I lift up my eyes to the mountains: from where will my help come?” Help me! Help me! Please! Please be kind to me! Show me Your love and mercy! Save me!
וְהוֹפִיעָה עָלַי מִמְּעוֹן קְדֻשָּׁתֶךָ, רוּחַ חָכְמָה וּבִינָה, רוּחַ קְדֻשָּׁה וְטָהֳרָה, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְקַדֵּשׁ וּלְהִטָּהֵר בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה, וְאֶדּוֹם וְאֶשְׁתּוֹק לִמְחָרְפֵי וְלִמְבַזֵּי נַפְשִׁי. וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, דֹּם לַיהֹוָה וְהִתְחוֹלֵל לוֹ. וְלִסְבּוֹל בִּזְיוֹנוֹת וּבוּשׁוֹת וּשְׁפִיכוּת דָּמִים עַל עֲוֹנוֹתַי, וּלְקַבֵּל הַכֹּל בְּאַהֲבָה:
Shine upon me from Your holy habitation, and cause a spirit of wisdom and understanding, holiness and purity to rest upon me, so that I will be able to genuinely sanctify and purify myself and come back to You in perfect Teshuvah. Let me hold my peace and say nothing to those who abuse and insult my soul. Let me “silently wait for HaShem and hope in Him”, bearing all degradation and persecution with love, as an atonement for my sins.
(הַשְׁמָטָה הַשַּׁיָּךְ כָּאן מִסֵּפֶר "תְּפִלּוֹת וְתַחֲנוּנִים")
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם אַתָּה רָמַזְתָּ לָנוּ מֵרָחוֹק עַל יְדֵי חֲכָמֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים זַ"ל גֹּדֶל מַעֲלַת קְדֻשַּׁת יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁכָּל אֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל הוּא בְּחִינַת כֶּתֶר להקב"ה, עַל כֵּן אֲבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ וַאֲצַפֶּה לְרַחֲמִים שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנוּ לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל לְבַקֵּשׁ וּלְחַפֵּשׂ תָּמִיד אַחַר כָּל צַד זְכוּת וְטוֹב שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לִמְצוֹא בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאֶזְכֶּה לָדוּן אֶת הַכֹּל לְכַף זְכוּת.
Master of the Universe: Through Your holy sages, of blessed memory, You have given us a distant hint of the exalted holiness of the Jewish People. Every single Jew is a “crown” to the Holy One blessed be He. I therefore want to ask You to help me to always try to search for all the good points that are to be found in each Jew, and to judge everyone favorably.
וַאֲפִלּוּ אוֹתָן הַקָּמִים עָלַי וּמְבַזִּין וּמְחָרְפִין אוֹתִי אֶזְכֶּה לידום וְלִשְׁתּוֹק לָהֶם, וַאֲפִילּוּ בְּלִבִּי לֹא יִהְיֶה לִי שׁוּם שִׂנְאָה וּקְפִידָא וְתַרְעוֹמוֹת עֲלֵיהֶם רַק אֶזְכֶּה לְדוּנָם לְכַף זְכוּת שֶׁכָּל כַּוָּנָתָם לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם כִּי לְפִי דַּעְתָּם וּסְבָרָתָם נִדְמֶה לָהֶם שֶׁרָאוּי לְבַזּוֹת אוֹתִי.
Even when people are against me and abuse and insult me, let me hold my peace and say nothing. Even in my heart, let me feel no hatred or anger. Instead, let me judge them favorably and assume that their intentions are pure. Give me to understand that according to their way of looking at things, they are convinced that they are doing the right thing by insulting me.
בִּפְרָט כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת יָדַעְתִּי כִּי כָּל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם אֵינָם מַסְפִּיקִים לִי לְפִי גֹּדֶל פִּשְׁעִי וַעֲוֹנֹתַי הַמְרֻבִּים, בִּפְרָט כִּי גַּם אֲנִי מִזֶּרַע יִשְׂרָאֵל הַקְּדוֹשִׁים שֶׁהֵם בְּחִינַת כִּתְרָא דְּמַלְכָּא וְאֵיךְ לֹא נִזְהַרְתִּי בְּנַפְשִׁי שֶׁלֹּא לִפְגֹּם עַל יְדֵי מַעֲשֵׂי בִּכְבוֹד הַמֶּלֶךְ ח"ו וּבְוַדַּאי רָאוּי אֲנִי לְכָל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב וּבֹזַי יָקֵלּוּ.
Indeed I know that all the abuse in the world would still be less than I deserve, seeing that I have sinned so much. If I am a member of the holy Jewish People, each one of whom is a “crown of the King”, how could I have taken so little care not to demean the honor of the King through the wrong I have done? I surely deserve every kind of abuse, since “those who show contempt for Me will be despised.”
וְאֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר לִי לְהִתְרַעֵם עַל הַמְּבַזִּים אוֹתִי וְלִהְיוֹת בְּלִבִּי עֲלֵיהֶם מֵאַחַר שֶׁאֲנִי רָאוּי לְכָל זֶה וְיוֹתֵר עוֹד מִזֶּה, בִּפְרָט כִּי אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר לִי לְדַקְדֵּק עִמָּהֶם עַל בִּזָּיוֹן כְּבוֹדִי מֵאַחַר שֶׁכָּל אֶחָד מֵהֶם יָקָר כָּל כָּךְ עַד שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת כֶּתֶר לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרֵךְ, עַל כֵּן זַכֵּנִי נָא לידום וְלִשְׁתּוֹק לָהֶם וּלְקַבֵּל הַכֹּל בְּאַהֲבָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל יְדֵי זֶה לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת הַשֵּׁם הַקָּדוֹשׁ "אֶהְיֶה" בְּחִינַת כֶּתֶר כַּאֲשֶׁר הוֹדַעְתָּ לָנוּ עַל יְדֵי חֲכָמֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים זַ"ל:
(עַד כָּאן הוֹסָפָה מִסֵּפֶר "תְּפִלּוֹת וְתַחֲנוּנִים")
In that case, how can I be angry at those who insult me? How can I hold it against them, considering I deserve everything I get and more? How can I take them to task for not treating me with sufficient respect, when every single one of them is a precious “crown” of HaShem? So please, HaShem, help me keep quiet and hold my peace, and bear everything with love. And through this, bring me to perfect Teshuvah, which is bound up with the holy Name of EHYEH, the Crown, as Your sages have taught us.
וְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת כָּל יָמַי בִּתְשׁוּבָה תָּמִיד. כִּי מִי יֹאמַר זִכִּיתִי לִבִּי טָהַרְתִּי מֵחַטָּאתִי. כִּי אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ אֶת לְבָבֵנוּ, כִּי הַלֵּב מְעֻרְבָּב בִּפְסוֹלֶת וּבִפְנִיּוֹת הַרְבֵּה וַאֲפִלּוּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאֲנִי מִתְוַדֶּה וְאוֹמֵר חָטָאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ, גַּם אָז בָּאִים בְּלִבִּי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת זָרוֹת וּפְנִיּוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת, עַד שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לִי לְדַבֵּר דִּבּוּר אֶחָד בֶּאֱמֶת כָּרָאוּי. וַאֲפִלּוּ לְהִתְוַדּוֹת עַל חַטֹּאתַי מַה שֶּׁחָטָאתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי בֶּאֱמֶת לְפָנֶיךָ, גַּם זֶה נִמְנַע מִמֶּנִּי.
Help me to follow the path of Teshuvah all my days. “Who can say, `I have cleansed my heart and purified myself of sin'?” You know our hearts, and how we often have mixed and impure motives for even the good that we do. Even when I am confessing my sins, I have improper thoughts and motives. I find it impossible to say even a single word sincerely and honestly. My sins are real enough, but I have a block against owning up to them.
עַל כֵּן זַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לִהְיוֹת בִּתְשׁוּבָה תָּמִיד, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲשׂוֹת תָּמִיד תְּשׁוּבָה עַל תְּשׁוּבָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה. וְאֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן בְּכָל פַּעַם פְּגַּם תְּשׁוּבָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה תְּשׁוּבָה עִלָּאָה בֶּאֱמֶת כָּרָאוּי, וְאָז תִּפְתַּח אֶת לִבִּי וְדַעְתִּי לָדַעַת אֶת שְׁמֶךָ, וְאָז אֵדַע בֶּאֱמֶת כִּי עֲדַיִן לֹא הִתְחַלְתִּי לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה כְּפִי עוֹצֶם גְּדֻלָּתְךָ וְרוֹמְמוּתְךָ שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנִי לְהַשִּׂיג אָז.
So please help me to keep going forward on the path of Teshuvah, and to repent over my repentance — to make amends for the inadequacy of my earlier Teshuvah. This way, with Your help, I will eventually be able to attain the highest level of Teshuvah: You will open my heart and mind to know Your Name, and I will then attain such a level of spiritual perception that I will understand that I have not even begun to repent as yet in a way that is commensurate with Your awesome greatness and exaltedness.
וְאָז תְּזַכֵּנִי בֶּאֱמֶת לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה עַל תְּשׁוּבָה, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה בְּכָל פַּעַם עַל הַשָּׂגָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, עַל שֶׁהָיִיתִי מְגַשֵּׁם אֶת רוֹמְמוּת אֱלָהוּתְךָ, לְפִי עֹצֶם רוֹמְמוּתְךָ שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַשִּׂיג אַחַר כַָּךְ בְּכָל פַּעַם, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת כָּל יָמַי בִּתְשׁוּבָה תָמִיד, עַד הַיּוֹם אֲשֶׁר תַּאַסְפֵנִי אֵלֶיךָ. וּתְזַכֵּנִי לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא, לְיוֹם שֶׁכֻּלּוֹ שַׁבָּת, כֻּלּוֹ תְשׁוּבָה.
You will then help me repent genuinely over my earlier repentance. With each new and higher perception of Your exaltedness, I will repent over the limitations of my earlier perceptions, and for having allowed material images to influence the way I conceive of You, detracting from the supreme exaltedness of Your divinity. I will keep going forward on the path of Teshuvah every day of my life, until the day when You will finally take my soul and bring me to the World to Come, the “day that is all Shabbat, all Teshuvah.”
וְזַכֵּנִי לִזְבּוֹחַ אֶת יִצְרִי, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, זוֹבֵחַ תּוֹדָה יְכַבְּדָנְנִי. שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְכַבֵּד אוֹתְךָ בִּשְׁנֵי עוֹלָמוֹת, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וּבָעוֹלָם הַבָּא.
Help me to slaughter my Evil Urge, and thereby give You honor in two worlds, This World and the World to Come, as it is written, “The one who slaughters [the evil urge, and offers] the thanksgiving offering will give Me honor.”
וְעָזְרֵנִי שֶׁאֶהְיֶה בּוֹרֵחַ מִן הַכָּבוֹד בֶּאֱמֶת, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְמַעֵט בִּכְבוֹד עַצְמִי וּלְהַרְבּוֹת בִּכְבוֹד הַמָּקוֹם, וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלַי מִכְּבוֹדְךָ הַגָּדוֹל, וּתְזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לִכְבוֹד אֱלֹהִים שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְכָבוֹד דִּקְדֻשָּׁה לְמַעַנְךָ לְבַד, וְלֹא אֶהֱנֶה מִן הַכָּבוֹד כְּלָל לְמַעֲנִי, וְלֹא אֶשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ עִם הַכָּבוֹד כִּי אִם לְשִׁמְךָ וְלַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וְעָזְרֵנִי שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁאוֹל וְלֹא יַחְקוֹר שׁוּם בְּרִיָּה עַל כְּבוֹדִי:
Help me run away from honor. Let me minimize my own importance, while doing everything I can to enhance the glory of God. Grant me a share in Your great glory, and lovingly bring me to experience the glory of God and attain holy glory for Your sake alone. Let me never make use of Your glory for my own personal advantage, but only for the sake of Your Name and in Your service, and let no one feel the need to raise questions about my reputation and honor.
וְעָזְרֵנִי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהָי לִהְיוֹת תַּקִּיף וְאַמִּיץ וְחָזָק בַּעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ תָּמִיד. וְאַל תַּנִּיחֵנִי לִפּוֹל חַס וְשָׁלוֹם לְעוֹלָם. אַל תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ אַל תִּקַּח מִמֶּנִּי. וְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת עַיִּיל וְנָפִיק. וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בָּקִי בַּהֲלָכָה בָּקִי בְּרָצוֹא בָּקִי בְּשׁוֹב. בָּקִי בְּעַיִּיל בָּקִי בְּנָפִיק.
HaShem, help me be firm, strong and determined in Your service at all times. Don't let me ever fall away, God forbid. “Don't throw me down from before You, and do not take Your holy spirit from me.” Bring me to be one of those who is always “coming in and going out” of the Palace of the King, constantly striving to achieve ever greater intimacy. Teach me how to “run forward” to new spiritual heights, and then “return” and integrate the perceptions and insights I have gained into my life as a whole. Help me develop the skills I need during all the different phases of my spiritual life, both when I am making progress and when I find myself regressing. Let me be expert at “running forward,” and expert at “returning,” expert when “coming in” and expert when “going out.”
וּבְכָל מָקוֹם אוּכַל לִמְצוֹא אוֹתְךָ בֵּין בַּעֲלִיָּה בֵּין בִּירִידָה. כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, אִם אֶסַּק שָׁמַיִם שָׁם אָתָּה וְאַצִּיעָה שְׁאוֹל הִנֶּךָּ. וְאֶזְכֶּה לֶאֱחוֹז בְּךָ וּלְהִתְדַבֵּק בְּךָ תָמִיד. וִיקֻיַּם בִּי מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי:
Let me be able to find You everywhere, whether I go up or down, as it is written: “If I go up to Heaven, there You are, and even if I make my bed in hell, behold, there You are!” Let me constantly reach out for connection with You, so that I will be able to say: “I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine.”
אָנָּא יְהֹוָה יֶהֱמוּ וְיִכָמְרוּ מֵעֶיךָ וְרַחֲמֶיךָ וַחֲנִינוֹתֶיךָ עָלַי, וְיַעֲלֶה וְיָבֹא זִכְרוֹנִי לְפָנֶיךָ לְטוֹבָה, וְרַחֵם עָלַי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, וְאַל תַּנִּיחֵנִי וְאַל תִּטְּשֵׁנִי לְהִשְׁתַּקֵּעַ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם בְּאֵלּוּ הַמְּקוֹמוֹת הַנְּמוּכִים וְהַשְּׁפֵלִים אֲשֶׁר בָּאתִי עַד הֵנָּה. אַל תַּעַזְבֵנִי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וְאַל תִּרְחַק מִמֶּנִּי. אַל תִּבְלָעֵנִי מְצוּלָה וְאַל תֶּאְטַר עָלַי בְּאֵר פִּיהָ.
Please, HaShem, have compassion on me and remember me for good. Don't abandon me, and do not leave me to sink and become trapped in the lowly, degraded situations I have been caught in until now. “Don't forsake me, HaShem my God, and don't keep far from me. Don't let me be swallowed up in the depths, and don't let the pit shut its mouth over me.”
חָנֵּנִי וַהֲקִימֵנִי, וּמֵעָפָר דַּלּוּתִי וּמֵעֹצֶם שִׁפְלוּתִי תְרוֹמְמֵנִי. וִיקֻיַּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, אָנֹכִי אֵרֵד עִמְּךָ מִצְרַיְמָה וְאָנֹכִי אַעַלְךָ גַּם עָלֹה. וְהַיְרִידָה יִהְיֶה תַכְלִית הָעֲלִיָּה. חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי, וּשְׁלַח יְשׁוּעָתְךָ וְתִתְמְכֵנִי בִּימִין צִדְקֶךָ, וְתִסְעָדֵנִי בְּעוֹצֶם חֶמְלָתֶךָ. וְתִהְיֶה תָּמִיד עִמִּי. וְתִתֶּן לִי כֹחַ וָשֵׂכֶל לֶאֱחוֹז בְּךָ תָמִיד, וְאַל תַּנִּיחֵנִי לִפּוֹל חַס וְשָׁלוֹם לְעוֹלָם. וִיקֻיַּם מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, כִּי יִפּוֹל לֹא יוּטָל כִּי יְהֹוָה סוֹמֵךְ יָדוֹ.
Be kind to me and lift me out of the dust. Help me rise from my degraded state. Be with me, just as You promised You would be with Yaakov: “I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will surely bring you up.” It is true that I have fallen, but I ask You to let my fall be a preparation for a great ascent. Have pity on me. Send me Your help and take hold of me with Your loving hand of mercy. Support me tenderly and lovingly, and always be with me. Give me the strength and good sense to hold on to You at all times, and never ever let me fall. It is written: “Even if he falls, he will not be cast aside, because HaShem is supporting him by the hand.” Fulfil this in me.
וּתְמַהֵר וְתָחִישׁ לְגָאֳלֵנוּ גְאֻלַּת הַנֶּפֶשׁ. וְתוֹצִיאֵנִי וְתַעֲלֵנִי מֵהַיּוֹם וּמֵעַתָּה, מִכָּל מִינֵי נְפִילוֹת וִירִידוֹת וְהִתְרַחֲקוּת מִמְּךָ שֶׁנִּתְרַחַקְתִּי עַד הֵנָּה. מֵקִים מֵעָפָר דָּל מֵאַשְׁפּוֹת יָרִים אֶבְיוֹן. חֲמֹל עַל דַּל וְאֶבְיוֹן כָּמוֹנִי. חָנֵּנִי וַהֲקִימֵנִי, חָנֵּנִי וַהֲקִימֵנִי שִׁטַּחְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ כַפָּי. מִקְצֵה הָאָרֶץ אֵלֶיךָ אֶקְרָא בַּעֲטֹף לִבִּי בְּצוּר יָרוּם מִמֶּנִי תַנְחֵנִי:
Grant me spiritual freedom very soon. From today on, release me from the vicious cycle of backsliding and failure I have been caught in so far. Help me overcome the sense of distance from You that I have had until now. You “lift the poor out of the dust and the needy from the scrap-heap.” I am poor and needy: take pity on me. Be kind to me, and lift me up. “My hands are raised to You. From the ends of the earth I call to You. My heart is fainting. Bring me up to a rock which is too high for me.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, וְתִגְעוֹר בְּהָרוֹדְפִים וּמַפִּילִים אוֹתִי, וֶאֱמוֹר לְצָרוֹתַי דַי וְתֹאמַר עַד פֹּה תָבֹא. וּמֵעַתָּה תְרַחֵם עָלַי וְתַעַזְרֵנִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְתַתְחִיל לְהַעֲלוֹת אוֹתִי מַעְלָה מָעְלָה חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה, וְכָל הַיְרִידוֹת יִתְהַפְּכוּ לַעֲלִיּוֹת, וְכָל הַהִתְרַחֲקוּת יִתְהַפֵּךְ לְהִתְקָרְבוּת.
Master of the Universe! Master of the Universe! My Father in heaven: Take pity on me, and drive away all those who are persecuting me and pushing me down. Call a halt to my troubles. Say, “So far and no further.” From now on, help me, and start to lift me up, level by level, quickly and easily. Turn all my spiritual failures into successes. If my relationship with You until now has been one of distance and alienation, let it be transformed from now on into one of closeness and intimacy.
כִּי אַתָּה הַחִלּוֹתָ לְקָרְבֵנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ, וְהִתְחַלְתָּ לְהַשְׁפִּיעַ עָלֵינוּ הֲמוֹן קְדֻשָּׁתֶךָ וְתוֹקֶף חֶמְלָתֶךָ, עַל יְדֵי צַדִּיקֵי אֱמֶת שֶׁבְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר, עַל כֵּן אֵין נָאֶה לְךָ לְעָזְבֵנוּ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ יֶהֱמוּ מֵעֶיךָ עָלֵינוּ,
In Your compassion, You have made a start in drawing us close to You. Through the true Tzaddikim You have sent us in each generation, You have begun to shine the light of Your holiness and love upon us. HaShem, it would not be fitting for You to abandon us now.
וְכַאֲשֶׁר הַחִלּוֹתָ לְהַרְאוֹת גָּדְלְךָ וְטוּבְךָ עָלֵינוּ, וְנָתַתָּ לָנוּ תּוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עַל יְדֵי מֹשֶׁה נְבִיאֶךָ נֶאֱמַן בֵּיתֶךָ, וְשָׁלַחְתָּ לָנוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, צַדִּיקֵי אֱמֶת בְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר, אֲשֶׁר עַל יָדָם נִמְסְרָה הַתּוֹרָה לָנוּ, מִמּשֶׁה לִיהוֹשֻׁעַ, וּמִיהוֹשֻׁעַ לִזְקֵנִים, וּמִזְּקֵנִים לִזְקֵנִים וְצַדִּיקִים שֶׁבְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר, עַד אֲשֶׁר הִגִּיעַ אֵלֵינוּ הִשְׁתַּלְשְׁלוּת קַבָּלַת הַתּוֹרָה,
You began showing us Your greatness and goodness when You gave us Your holy Torah through Moshe, Your faithful prophet. In each generation You have lovingly sent us all the Tzaddikim who have transmitted the Torah to us — from Moshe to Yehoshua, from Yehoshua to the Elders, and from them to the subsequent Elders and Tzaddikim in every generation, until the chain of Torah tradition has now reached us.
וַעֲדַיִן לֹא כָלוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ מִמֶּנּוּ. הֱקִיצוֹתִי וְעוֹדִי עִמָּךְ. כֵּן יִכְָמְרוּ מֵעֶיךָ עָלֵינוּ, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְקַיֵּם בֶּאֱמֶת אֶת כָּל דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָתֶךָ בְּאַהֲבָה. חוּסָה עָלֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ וְעָזְרֵנִי לִהְיוֹת דָּבוּק בְּךָ וּבְצַדִּיקֵי אֱמֶת לְעוֹלָם וָעֶד, בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וּבָעוֹלָם הַבָּא:
Your love for us has still not ceased to flow: “I awaken, and I am still with You.” Just as You have always helped us until now, stir up Your compassion yet again, and help me fulfil the entire Torah in love. Take pity on me and help me remain attached to You and to the true Tzaddikim for ever, both in This World and in the World to Come.
אָנָּא יְהֹוָה, בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, זַכֵּנִי שֶׁיֻּפְקְחוּ עֵינַי וְלִבִּי וְאָזְנַי לִרְאוֹת וּלְהָבִין וְלִשְׁמוֹעַ גְּדֻלָּתְךָ וְרוֹמְמוּתֶךָ, וְלָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וְחָנֵּנִי מֵאִתְּךָ דֵּעָה בִּינָה וְהַשְׂכֵּל לְהָבִין וּלְהַשִּׂיג דַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה בֶּאֱמֶת, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לֵילֵךְ בָּהֶם תָּמִיד. וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בִּכְלַל בַּעֲלֵי תְשׁוּבָה בֶּאֱמֶת, כִּי יְמִינְךָ פְּשׁוּטָה לְקַבֵּל שָׁבִים, וְרוֹצֶה אַתָּה בִּתְשׁוּבָה, וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו אֵימָתַי.
Please, HaShem, lovingly help me open my eyes, my heart and my ears to see, understand and hear Your greatness and exaltedness, and to return to You in complete sincerity and truth. Grant me knowledge, understanding and wisdom to understand and grasp the ways of Teshuvah. Help me to follow them at all times, and let me be a true Baal Teshuvah, a Master of Repentance. For Your right hand is held open to receive those who return, and You want Teshuvah. If not now, when?
וְתַעַזְרֵנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת. לִתְשׁוּבָה עִלָּאָה. בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּתְיַחֵד עַל יָדִי, נְקֻדָּה הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה בִּנְקֻדָּה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה, וְיִתְתַּקֵּן וְיֻשְׁלַם עַל יָדִי, אָדָם הָעֶלְיוֹן לָשֶׁבֶת עַל הַכִּסֵּא, וְשָׁם יִהְיֶה נִכְלַל נַפְשִׁי וְרוּחִי וְנִשְׁמָתִי מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם.
Help me come to perfect Teshuvah on the highest level, so that through my efforts to make amends and repair what I must, the lowest point and highest points of creation will be united, and the Supernal Man will be seated upon the throne. Let my nefesh, ru'ach and neshamah be merged in that exalted place from now and for ever.
וּתְמַלֵּא פְּגִימַת הַלְּבָנָה, וְיִהְיֶה אוֹר הַלְּבָנָה כְּאוֹר הַחַמָּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וְהָיָה אוֹר הַלְּבָנָה כְּאוֹר הַחַמָּה וְאוֹר הַחַמָּה יִהְיֶה שִׁבְעָתַיִם כְּאוֹר שִׁבְעַת הַיָּמִים. כִּי מַלְכוּתְךָ בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה בַּשָּׁמַיִם וּבָאָרֶץ.
Restore the moon and fill its dark portions with light. Let the light of the moon be like the light of the sun, and let the light of the sun be sevenfold, like the light of the Seven Days of Creation. For Your Kingship governs everything in heaven and on earth.
וְאַתָּה עוֹשֶׂה גְדוֹלוֹת וְנִפְלָאוֹת עַד אֵין חֵקֶר, וְאַתָּה חוֹשֵׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת לְבַל יִדַּח מִמְּךָ נִדָּח. מֵמִית וּמְחַיֶּה מוֹרִיד שְׁאוֹל וַיָּעַל. וְאַתָּה מְקַשֵּׁר וּמְחַבֵּר וּמְיַחֵד שְׁנֵי הֲפָכִים יַחַד, תַּכְלִית קְצֵה הַתַּחְתּוֹן מֵעִמְקֵי שְׁאוֹל, עַד רוּם גָּבְהֵי מְרוֹמִים עַד תַּכְלִית קְצֵה הָעֶלְיוֹן, מִנְּקֻדָּה הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה עַד נְקֻדָּה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה, כִּי מִי יֹאמַר לְךָ מַה תַּעֲשֶׂה.
Your miracles and wonders are unfathomable. You work out ways to make sure that no-one should be cast aside. You “cause death and bring to life, You take souls down to hell and You bring them up.” You have the power to connect, bind and unify complete opposites — from the lowest depths of hell to the supreme, most exalted heights, from the lowest point to the highest. For “Who will tell You what to do?”
עַל כֵּן יַגִּיעוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ גַּם עָלַי, וְתַחְתּוֹר חֲתִירָה מִתַּחַת כִּסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ, חוֹמֵל דַּלִים שׁוֹמֵעַ אֶנְקַת אֶבְיוֹנִים, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְהִתְעוֹרֵר בֶּאֱמֶת וְלָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וּתְזַכֵּנִי לִהְיוֹת דָּבוּק בֶּאֱמֶת בְּצַדִּיקֵי אֱמֶת מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם.
If so, let Your tender mercy reach even me. God who takes pity on the poor and hears the cry of the needy: forge a channel from beneath Your throne of glory down to me, and help me stir and wake up, and return to You in perfect Teshuvah. Help me be genuinely attached to the true Tzaddikim from now on and for ever.
כִּי לֹא תַחְפֹּץ בְּמוֹת הַמֵּת כִּי אִם בְּשׁוּבוֹ מִדְּרָכָיו וְחָיָה, תָּשֵׁב אֱנוֹשׁ עַד דַּכָּא וַתֹּאמֶר שׁוּבוּ בְּנֵי אָדָם, שׁוּבָה יְהֹוָה עַד מָתָי וְהִנָּחֵם עַל עֲבָדֶיךָ, הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ יְהֹוָה אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם:
“For You do not wish for the death of the sinner but that he should turn from his ways and live.” “You grind man down to the dust and say, `Return, sons of man.' ... Return, HaShem — until when? Relent over Your servants.” “Bring us back to You, HaShem, and we will return. Renew our days as of old.”
(הַשְׁמָטָה הַשַּׁיָּךְ כָּאן מִסֵּפֶר "תְּפִלּוֹת וְתַחֲנוּנִים")
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם זַכֵּנִי לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה תָּמִיד בִּפְרָט בִּימֵי אֱלוּל הַקְּדוֹשִׁים שֶׁאָז פָּתַח לָנוּ מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם דֶּרֶךְ כְּבוּשָׁה לִתְשׁוּבָה וְהַדֶּרֶךְ הַזֶּה כָּלוּל מִשְּׁנֵי הַבְּקִיאוּת הנ"ל וּמִשְּׁנֵי הַשֵּׁמוֹת הַקְּדוֹשִׁים שֶׁהֵם שֵׁם הויה וְשֵׁם אהיה בְּמִלּוֹאָם שֶׁהֵם שֵׁם ס"ג הַקָּדוֹשׁ וְשֵׁם קס"א הַקָּדוֹשׁ, וּמִשְּׁנֵי הַנְּקֻדּוֹת הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת בְּחִינַת נְקֻדָּה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה וּנְקֻדָּה הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה שֶׁהֵם עִקַּר שְׁלֵמוּת הַתְּשׁוּבָה בְּחִינַת תְּשׁוּבָה וּתְשׁוּבָה עַל תְּשׁוּבָה בְּחִינַת תְּשׁוּבַת עוֹלָם הַזֶּה וּתְשׁוּבַת עוֹלָם הַבָּא שֶׁהִזְכַּרְתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ.
Master of the Universe: Help me to follow the path of perfect Teshuvah at all times, and especially during the holy days of Elul. During this period, our teacher Moshe opened up a pathway of Teshuvah for us consisting of the two skills of “running” and “returning”, based upon the two holy Names of HaVaYaH (in its expansion of SaG) and EHYeH (in its expansion of KeSA), and upon the two holy points — the uppermost and the lowest. This is the essential path of Teshuvah: the initial Teshuvah, and then, Teshuvah on the Teshuvah — respectively the “Teshuvah of This World”, and the “Teshuvah of the World to Come.”
עַל כֵּן זַכֵּנוּ אָז בִּימֵי אֱלוּל הַקְּדוֹשִׁים לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁיֻּמְשַׁךְ עָלֵינוּ קְדֻשַּׁת אֱלוּל עַל כָּל הַשָּׁנָה כֻּלָּהּ עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ תָּמִיד וְלֵילֵךְ בְּכָל דַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה בִּשְׁלֵמוּת כָּל יָמֵינוּ לְעוֹלָם.
During the holy days of Elul, help me to attain perfect Teshuvah, and let the holiness of Elul be drawn into the entire year, until we are able to follow the path of perfect Teshuvah at all times and to walk all the pathways of Teshuvah perfectly all our days and for ever.
וְאַתָּה תְּקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל בְּחִינוֹת וּמַדְרֵגוֹת תְּשׁוּבוֹתֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּדוֹלִים בְּאַהֲבָה וְחִבָּה גְּדוֹלָה, וִיקֻיַּם בָּנוּ מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב נַחְפְּשָׂה דְרָכֵינוּ וְנַחְקֹרָה וְנָשׁוּבָה עַד ה' כִּי יְמִינְךָ פְּשׁוּטָה לְקַבֵּל שָׁבִים:
(עַד כָּאן הוֹסָפָה מִסֵּפֶר "תְּפִלּוֹת וְתַחֲנוּנִים")
In Your abundant kindness and mercy, accept all the different aspects and levels of our Teshuvah with love and favor, and enable us to “search and examine our ways and return and rise towards HaShem, for Your right hand is stretched out to receive those who wish to return.”