The Covenant / Praying with One’s Essence / Fasting to Purify Oneself When a person has damaged his “covenant” (his sexual purity), he finds it impossible to pray with the essence of who he is. Instead, his prayers are swallowed up by negative energies, which Rebbe Nachman refers to as “dogs.” His prayer feels bitter and damages his core, the marrow of his bones. But when a person prays with the essence of who he is, his prayer is sweet. As he hears the words he is speaking, the sweetness enters his bones, and his bones themselves also pray to God. Then his prayer is absorbed into holiness, which Rebbe Nachman refers to as a “lion.” Arrogant people in each generation attempt to interfere with the prayer of a Jew who has not yet rectified his covenant completely. They are called “dogs” as well. One positive means of purifying oneself is fasting, and doing so is considered a mitzvah. If a person is a Tzaddik, however, his eating is very precious, and so he is forbidden to fast voluntarily. “Save my spirit from the sword, my soul from the grip of the dog. Save me from the mouth of the lion. Deliver me from the horns of the wild ox.” “For dogs have surrounded me, a congregation of evildoers has encircled my hands and feet like a lion.”
Master of the World, save me from causing damage to my covenant. Save me from the pit of destruction, the deep mire. Save me from the harsh judgment of Gehinnom for damaging my covenant, Heaven forbid.
Have compassion on me and rescue my pitiful soul from the pit of destruction. You know the suffering and the heartbreaking situation of a person who has damaged his covenant, Heaven forbid, and not rectified it in his lifetime. He goes down to the lowest circle of Gehinnom with no one to help or support him. The intensity of his harsh and bitter suffering is incomprehensible. His miserable state is beyond imagination.
Only You know it. And You know that in the World to Come, pleading for mercy will not help, because You will not forgive. The essence of Your compassion lies in the fact that You do not push a person away from You entirely. Every day, You send and structure thoughts of repentance to every individual. You stretch out Your hand to receive those who will return to You. You assist all those who wish to be purified, to truly come back to You.
Therefore, I have come to You, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers — You who gaze upon the wicked person and wish him to change his ways — with the hope that You will have pity on my soul and redeem me from the damage caused by violating my covenant. “Rescue me from the mire so that I will not sink. I will be saved from my enemies and from the depths of the sea. May the water’s current not overwhelm me, the depths not swallow me up, and the pit not close its mouth upon me.”
In Your compassion, rescue me from the bitter pains of the two-edged sword held by the angel of death. Rescue me from the harsh and cruel destructive angels called “dogs,” which tear the soul of a person who has damaged his covenant, Heaven forbid, and lead him to Gehinnom as they bark at him.
Rescue me from their harsh fearsomeness. Rescue me from their harsh and bitter judgment. Rescue me from the bitter and polluted waters. Redeem my oppressed spirit and help me, so that I will never again damage my covenant — whether in thought, speech or deed; sight, hearing or other senses; by accident or on purpose; against my will or willingly.
Keep me from straying after my heart and eyes. Protect me from surrendering to the stubbornness of my heart. Give me the power to break the evil inclination and conquer my desires. Give me a good inclination, and guide me so that I will take control of my heart.
Like a Pauper at the Door Master of the World, have pity on me. Be gracious to me, HaShem, because I have endured so much disgrace. My spirit is sated with the mockery of people who are at ease. I am surfeited with the bitterness that comes from lusting after the vanities of this world.
“Turn Your punishment away from me so that I may recover my strength, so that I will not fade away and cease to be.” Do not reject me, the work of Your hands.
I stand before You like a pauper at the door, like a slave before his master, like a guilty prisoner hoping for an undeserved reprieve, begging for his life, his eyes weary the entire day as he dreams of a generous and undeserved gift.
And even if these words that I speak are filled with ulterior motives, what can I do? To where can I run, Master of the Universe? “To You, HaShem, do I call. Before HaShem do I beg. What value would there be to my blood if I were to go down to the pit? Would the dust thank You? Would it tell of Your truth?”
Rebuke the spirit of foolishness and madness within me. Expel it and eliminate it, from now and forever. Regarding all my sins, wrongdoing and iniquities that involved damaging the covenant, from my youth until this day — regarding every drop of semen that has left my body in vain, whether by accident or on purpose, against my will or willfully — for all these pardon me, God of forgiveness, Gracious God Who magnanimously exonerates. Gather my scattered seed from the four corners of the world back into holiness. Make complete all the Divine Names that I damaged, which are inherent in Your great Name, and be with me so that my covenant will be completely rectified, in accordance with Your desire. From this moment on, may I may sanctify myself in purity and no longer return to my foolishness. May I no longer do what is evil in Your eyes, but constantly add holiness to holiness and sanctify myself with those things that are permissible to me, in sacredness and purity, in accordance with Your will.
A Healing of the Bones [May it be Your will, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, that You will heal me from every type of disease, particularly from the disease of broken bones (or diseased bone marrow), which is generally caused by a problem with the marrow in the bones, which comes as a result of the lust for illicit sexual pleasures, may God protect us.
“Heal me, HaShem, for my bones shudder. My spirit shudders greatly. And You, HaShem, how long? Return, HaShem, rescue my soul. Save me for the sake of Your kindness.” “Heal me, HaShem, so that I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise.”]
The Sweet Waters of True Prayer HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, help me always. Guide me to pray to You with intensity, truthfully, with all my heart and soul.
Guide me to fill my every word of prayer with good intent. Guide me so that I will not say even one word of prayer without feeling. May I clearly enunciate my prayers and all the songs, praises and thanksgiving that I place before You every day, constantly.
Help me to attain the sweet waters — help me to feel the sweetness and pleasantness of the words of holy prayer in all my bones. May all my bones be sated by these holy words of prayer. May I truly realize the words, “All my bones will say, ‘HaShem, who is like You, Who rescues the poor person from the one stronger than he and the impoverished and pauper from the person who robs him.’”
May my prayer rise before You and be compassionately accepted before Your throne of glory. May the lion on the supernal, holy chariot descend to consume my prayer and bring it up to Your throne of glory.
In Your never-ending compassion, rescue my prayer from the arrogant dogs so that they will not attack it, Heaven forbid. Rescue me from the insolent men of the generation, so that they will not assail my prayer.
Give me the strength to withstand the arrogant of the generation who dispute and attack our prayers, who wish to confuse us and prevent us from praying, Heaven forbid. Help me to overcome them, break them and cast them down to the dust, so that they will bow and fall before me and return to You in truth, recognizing the power of Your sovereignty.
You know that without Your vast compassion and great strength, I lack the strength to withstand them. I require the strength and merit of the true Tzaddikim who engage in prayer their entire lives, whose power of wholeness can protect us, so that we will sanctify and purify ourselves in truly great holiness and pray with great feeling, devotion and joy.
Protect my prayer from the arrogant of the generation. “You raise the poor man from the dust. You lift the impoverished man from the ash heap.” Have pity and be gracious to me. Have mercy on me and compassionately fulfill my requests for the sake of Your great and holy Name, which You have bestowed upon me — for Your Name is joined to mine.
Holy Fasting Have compassion on me. Teach me so that I will know how to act in regard to fasting as a means of repenting for my many sins. You alone know all the obstacles, the doubts and turmoil, that I suffer in this regard, which make it impossible for me to know what to do. You know how badly I need to fast. Even if I fasted all the days of my life, it would not suffice to rectify a millionth of the damage of what my sins have caused. And no one can satisfy my mind on this point, as is clear to You, Master of the Universe.
Have pity and guide me in Your truth. Teach me the ultimate truth — how to act in this regard and, in fact, in all matters, in every aspect of how I must conduct myself in this world — so that I will emerge from evil to good, from darkness to light, and return to You completely, truthfully and with a whole heart, and spend all the days of my life in repentance, holiness and purity.
Eating in Holiness Help me to eat in holiness and purity — without any physical desire, but only in order to eat a little with great holiness to satisfy my holy spirit.
Master of the Universe, “I have stretched my hands out to You.” “To You alone are my eyes raised. To You alone do my thoughts turn, as I hope to receive Your undeserved gift, Your unrequited gift. My eyes turn with hope and longing to the salvation of HaShem. Waters have flowed over my head. I said, ‘I am cut off.’ I called out Your Name, HaShem, from the lowest pit. I called out from the belly of Gehinnom. You heard my voice. Do not hide Your ear, but give me ease and save me.”
Help me because I rely on You. “My eyes are always turned to HaShem, for He brings my feet out of the net.” You Who send my help from the sacred and support me from Zion, quickly deliver me from every sort of uncleanness and pollution. Sanctify me with every sort of holiness. Allow me to reach every sort of true repentance and a good, eternal life. Bring me soon to the Holy Land. Rectify me with every rectification. Hide me in Your booth from the dispute of people’s tongues. “Do not cast me away in a time of old age when my strength is worn away. Do not abandon me. Do not cast me away from You. Do not take the spirit of Your holiness away from me. Do not abandon me, HaShem my God. Do not grow distant from me. Come quickly to help me, HaShem, my salvation.”
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה נ - הַצִּילָה מֵחֶרֶב נַפְשִׁי מִיַּד כֶּלֶב]
הַצִּילָה מֵחֶרֶב נַפְשִׁי מִיַּד כֶּלֶב יְחִידָתִי. הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי מִפִּי אַרְיֵה וּמִקַּרְנֵי רֵמִים עֲנִיתָנִי. כִּי סְבָבוּנִי כְּלָבִים עֲדַת מְרֵעִים הִקִּיפוּנִי כָּאֲרִי יָדַי וְרַגְלָי.
The Covenant / Praying with One’s Essence / Fasting to Purify Oneself
When a person has damaged his “covenant” (his sexual purity), he finds it impossible to pray with the essence of who he is. Instead, his prayers are swallowed up by negative energies, which Rebbe Nachman refers to as “dogs.” His prayer feels bitter and damages his core, the marrow of his bones.
But when a person prays with the essence of who he is, his prayer is sweet. As he hears the words he is speaking, the sweetness enters his bones, and his bones themselves also pray to God. Then his prayer is absorbed into holiness, which Rebbe Nachman refers to as a “lion.”
Arrogant people in each generation attempt to interfere with the prayer of a Jew who has not yet rectified his covenant completely. They are called “dogs” as well.
One positive means of purifying oneself is fasting, and doing so is considered a mitzvah. If a person is a Tzaddik, however, his eating is very precious, and so he is forbidden to fast voluntarily.
“Save my spirit from the sword, my soul from the grip of the dog. Save me from the mouth of the lion. Deliver me from the horns of the wild ox.” “For dogs have surrounded me, a congregation of evildoers has encircled my hands and feet like a lion.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, הַצִּילֵנִי מִפְּגַם הַבְּרִית, הַצִּילֵנִי מִבְּאֵר שַׁחַת מִטִּיט הַיָּוֵן, הַצִּילֵנִי מִדִּין גֵּהִינֹּם הַקָּשֶּׁה הַמַּגִּיעַ עַל פְּגָם הַבְּרִית חַס וְשָׁלוֹם.
Master of the World, save me from causing damage to my covenant. Save me from the pit of destruction, the deep mire. Save me from the harsh judgment of Gehinnom for damaging my covenant, Heaven forbid.
חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי, זְכוֹר רַחֲמֶיךָ יְהֹוָה וַחֲסָדֶיךָ כִּי מֵעוֹלָם הֵמָּה.
Have mercy on me. “Recall Your compassion, HaShem, and Your lovingkindness, because they are forever.”
זְכֹר וְרַחֵם וְהַצֵּל וְהוֹשִׁיעָה אֶת נַפְשִׁי הָאֻמְלָלָה מִן הַשְּׁאוֹל תַּחְתִּיּוֹת, כִּי אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ הַצַּעַר וְהָרַחֲמָנוּת שֶׁיֵּשׁ עַל מִי שֶׁפָּגַם בִּבְרִיתוֹ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם וְלֹא זָכָה לְתַקֵּן בְּחַיָּיו, שֶׁיּוֹרֵד לַמַּדְרֵגָה הַתַּחְתּוֹנָה שֶׁל שְׁאוֹל בְּאֵין עוֹזֵר וְסוֹמֵךְ, אֲשֶׁר אִי אֶפְשָׁר לָנוּ לְשַׁעֵר בְּדַעְתֵּנוּ עֹצֶם הַצַּעַר וְהַיִּסּוּרִים הַקָּשִׁים וְהַמָּרִים מְאֹד מְאֹד וְעֹצֶם הָרַחֲמָנוּת שֶׁעָלָיו,
Have compassion on me and rescue my pitiful soul from the pit of destruction. You know the suffering and the heartbreaking situation of a person who has damaged his covenant, Heaven forbid, and not rectified it in his lifetime. He goes down to the lowest circle of Gehinnom with no one to help or support him. The intensity of his harsh and bitter suffering is incomprehensible. His miserable state is beyond imagination.
רַק אַתָּה לְבַד יוֹדֵעַ זֹאת. וְאַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁשָּׁם בְּעַלְמָא דְאָתֵי אֵין מוֹעִיל שׁוּם רַחֲמָנוּת בָּעוֹלָם, כִּי שָׁם אֵין אַתָּה וַתְּרָן כְּלָל, וְעִקָּר הָרַחֲמָנוּת שֶׁלְּךָ הוּא מַה שֶּׁאַתָּה חוֹשֵׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת לְבַל יִדַּח מִמְּךָ נִדָּח, וְאַתָּה שׁוֹלֵחַ וּמַזְמִין הִרְהוּרֵי תְשׁוּבָה בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד, וְאַתָּה פּוֹשֵׁט יָד לְקַבֵּל שָׁבִים, וְאַתָּה מְסַיֵּעַ וְעוֹזֵר לָשׁוּב אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת לְכָל הַבָּאִים לִטָּהֵר.
Only You know it. And You know that in the World to Come, pleading for mercy will not help, because You will not forgive. The essence of Your compassion lies in the fact that You do not push a person away from You entirely. Every day, You send and structure thoughts of repentance to every individual. You stretch out Your hand to receive those who will return to You. You assist all those who wish to be purified, to truly come back to You.
עַל כֵּן בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, הַצּוֹפֶה לָרָשָׁע וְחָפֵץ בְּהִצָּדְקוֹ, חוּס וַחֲמֹל עַל נַפְשִׁי הַיְקָרָה, חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי, חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי וּפְדֵנִי מִפְּגַם הַבְּרִית. הַצִּילֵנִי מִטִּיט וְאַל אֶטְבָּעָה אִנָּצְלָה מִשּׂוֹנְאַי וּמִמַּעֲמַקֵּי מָיִם. אַל תִּשְׁטְפֵנִי שִׁבּוֹלֶת מַיִם וְאַל תִּבְלָעֵנִי מְצוּלָה וְאַל תֶּאְטַר עָלַי בְּאֵר פִּיהָ.
Therefore, I have come to You, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers — You who gaze upon the wicked person and wish him to change his ways — with the hope that You will have pity on my soul and redeem me from the damage caused by violating my covenant. “Rescue me from the mire so that I will not sink. I will be saved from my enemies and from the depths of the sea. May the water’s current not overwhelm me, the depths not swallow me up, and the pit not close its mouth upon me.”
הַצִּילֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ מִמְּרִירוּת חַרְבּוֹ שֶׁל מַלְאַךְ הַמָּוֶת דְּאִית לָהּ תְּרֵי פִיּוֹת, הַצִּילֵנִי מִן הַמַּלְאֲכֵי חַבָּלָה הַקָּשִׁים וְהָאַכְזָרִיִּים הַנִּקְרָאִים כְּלָבִים, הַטּוֹרְפִים נַפְשׁוֹ שֶׁל הַפּוֹגֵם בַּבְּרִית חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, וּמוֹלִיכִין אוֹתוֹ לְגֵיהִנֹּם וְצוֹוְחִין הַב־הַב,
In Your compassion, rescue me from the bitter pains of the two-edged sword held by the angel of death. Rescue me from the harsh and cruel destructive angels called “dogs,” which tear the soul of a person who has damaged his covenant, Heaven forbid, and lead him to Gehinnom as they bark at him.
הַצִּילֵנִי מִפַּחְדָּם הַקָּשֶׁה, הַצִּילֵנִי מִדִּינָם הַקָּשֶׁה, מִדִּינָם הַמַּר בְּתַכְלִית הַמְּרִירוּת, הַצִּילֵנִי מִמַּיִין מְרִירִין מִמַּיִין מְסָאֲבִין. חוּס וַחֲמֹל, חוּס וְרַחֵם, חוּס וְהַצֵּל, חוּס וּפְדֵה נַפְשִׁי הָעֲשׁוּקָה מְאֹד, וְעָזְרֵנִי וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי מֵעַתָּה שֶׁלֹּא אֶפְגֹּם עוֹד בִּבְרִיתִי כְּלָל, הֵן בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה דִּבּוּר וּמַעֲשֶׂה, הֵן בִּרְאִיָּה וּבִשְׁמִיעָה וּבִשְׁאָר חוּשִׁים, בֵּין בְּשׁוֹגֵג בֵּין בְּמֵזִיד בֵּין בְּאֹנֶס בֵּין בְּרָצוֹן,
Rescue me from their harsh fearsomeness. Rescue me from their harsh and bitter judgment. Rescue me from the bitter and polluted waters. Redeem my oppressed spirit and help me, so that I will never again damage my covenant — whether in thought, speech or deed; sight, hearing or other senses; by accident or on purpose; against my will or willingly.
וְלֹא אָתוּר אַחַר לְבָבִי וְאַחַר עֵינַי, וְלֹא אֵלֵךְ עוֹד בִּשְׁרִירוּת לִבִּי, וְתִתֶּן לִי כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה מֵאִתְּךָ לְשַׁבֵּר אֶת יִצְרִי הָרָע וְלִכְבֹּשׁ אֶת תַּאֲוָתִי, וְתִתֶּן לִי יֵצֶר טוֹב, וְיִהְיֶה לְבָבִי בִּרְשׁוּתִי:
Keep me from straying after my heart and eyes. Protect me from surrendering to the stubbornness of my heart. Give me the power to break the evil inclination and conquer my desires. Give me a good inclination, and guide me so that I will take control of my heart.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, חוּס וְרַחֵם עָלַי, חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי, חָנֵּנִי יְהֹוָה חָנֵּנִי כִּי רַב שָׂבַעְתִּי בוּז, רַבַּת שָׂבְעָה לָּהּ נַפְשִׁי הַלַּעַג הַשַּׁאֲנַנִּים, רַבַּת שָׂבַעְתִּי מְרִירוּת תַּאֲווֹת עוֹלָם הַזֶּה וַהֲבָלָיו.
Like a Pauper at the Door
Master of the World, have pity on me. Be gracious to me, HaShem, because I have endured so much disgrace. My spirit is sated with the mockery of people who are at ease. I am surfeited with the bitterness that comes from lusting after the vanities of this world.
הָשַׁע מִמֶּנִּי וְאַבְלִיגָה בְּטֶרֶם אֵלֵךְ וְאֵינֶנִי הָשַׁע מִמֶּנִּי וְאַבְלִיגָה מְעַט, בַּעֲמַל יָדְךָ אַל תִּבְעַט.
“Turn Your punishment away from me so that I may recover my strength, so that I will not fade away and cease to be.” Do not reject me, the work of Your hands.
הֲרֵי אֲנִי עוֹמֵד לְפָנֶיךָ כְּעָנִי בַּפֶּתַח, כְּעֵין הָעֶבֶד אֶל אֲדוֹנָיו, כְּעֵין הַשָּׁבוּי הַחַיָּב הַמְצַפֶּה לְמַתְּנַת חִנָּם, שׁוֹאֵל וּמְבַקֵּשׁ עַל נַפְשׁוֹ,
I stand before You like a pauper at the door, like a slave before his master, like a guilty prisoner hoping for an undeserved reprieve, begging for his life, his eyes weary the entire day as he dreams of a generous and undeserved gift.
וְעֵינָיו כָּלוֹת כָּל הַיּוֹם לְנִדְבַת חֶסֶד, כֵּן עֵינַי תָּמִיד אֶל יְהֹוָה עַד שֶׁיְּחָנֵּנִי וִישִׁיבֵנִי בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנָיו בֶּאֱמֶת.
So do my eyes constantly turn to You, until You will be gracious to me and bring me back to You in complete repentance.
פֵּרַשְׂתִּי יָדַי כָּל הַיּוֹם. נַפְשִׁי כְּאֶרֶץ עֲיֵפָה לְךָ סֶלָה.
“I stretch out my hands all the day. My soul turns to You like a weary land.”
וְאִם אָמְנָם גַּם דְּבָרַי אֵלֶּה מְעֻרְבָּבִים בִּפְנִיּוֹת הַרְבֵּה, מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה אֲדוֹנִי, לְהֵיכָן אֶבְרַח. מָרֵיהּ דְּעַלְמָא כֹּלָּא, אֵלֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֶקְרָא וְאֶל יְהֹוָה אֶתְחַנָּן, מַה בֶּצַע בְּדָמִי בְּרִדְתִּי אֶל שַׁחַת הֲיוֹדְךָ עָפָר הֲיַגִּיד אֲמִתֶּךָ.
And even if these words that I speak are filled with ulterior motives, what can I do? To where can I run, Master of the Universe? “To You, HaShem, do I call. Before HaShem do I beg. What value would there be to my blood if I were to go down to the pit? Would the dust thank You? Would it tell of Your truth?”
עֲשֵׂה עִמִּי מַה שֶּׁתַּעֲשֶׂה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁתַּצִּילֵנִי מֵעַתָּה מִכָּל מִינֵי פְּגָם הַבְּרִית שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם.
Do to me what You will, in Your vast compassion — as long as You rescue me, from this moment on, from every sort of damage to the covenant.
וְתִגְעוֹר בְּהָרוּחַ שְׁטוּת וְהַשִּׁגָּעוֹן וּתְגָרְשֵׁהוּ וְתַרְחִיקֵהוּ וּתְבַטְּלוֹ מֵעָלֵינוּ בְּבִטּוּל גָּמוּר מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם. וְכָל מַה שֶּׁחָטָאתִי וְעָוִיתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ בִּפְגַם הַבְּרִית מִנְּעוּרַי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, וְכָל טִפָּה וְטִפָּה קֶרִי שֶׁיָּצָא מִמֶּנִּי לְבַטָּלָה בְּשׁוֹגֵג וּבְמֵזִיד בְּאֹנֶס וּבְרָצוֹן, עַל הַכֹּל תִּמְחֹל וְתִסְלַח לִי אֱלוֹהַּ סְלִיחוֹת חַנּוּן הַמַּרְבֶּה לִסְלֹחַ, וּתְקַבֵּץ נִדָּחֵינוּ מֵאַרְבַּע כַּנְפוֹת הָאָרֶץ, וְתַחֲזֹר וּתְקַבְּצֵם בִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֵׁנִית. וּתְמַלֵּא כָּל הַשֵּׁמוֹת שֶׁפָּגַמְתִּי בְּשִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל, וְתִהְיֶה עִמִּי תָמִיד בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְתִקּוּן הַבְּרִית בִּשְׁלֵמוּת בֶּאֱמֶת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב, וְאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה לְהִתְקַדֵּשׁ בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה בֶּאֱמֶת, וְלֹא אָשׁוּב עוֹד לְכִסְלָה וְלֹא אֶעֶשֶׂה עוֹד הָרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ. וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהוֹסִיף תָּמִיד קְדֻשָּׁה עַל קְדֻשָּׁה, וּלְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמִי בַּמֻּתָּר לִי, בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה, כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב בֶּאֱמֶת מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם:
Rebuke the spirit of foolishness and madness within me. Expel it and eliminate it, from now and forever. Regarding all my sins, wrongdoing and iniquities that involved damaging the covenant, from my youth until this day — regarding every drop of semen that has left my body in vain, whether by accident or on purpose, against my will or willfully — for all these pardon me, God of forgiveness, Gracious God Who magnanimously exonerates. Gather my scattered seed from the four corners of the world back into holiness. Make complete all the Divine Names that I damaged, which are inherent in Your great Name, and be with me so that my covenant will be completely rectified, in accordance with Your desire. From this moment on, may I may sanctify myself in purity and no longer return to my foolishness. May I no longer do what is evil in Your eyes, but constantly add holiness to holiness and sanctify myself with those things that are permissible to me, in sacredness and purity, in accordance with Your will.
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ יְיָ אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶׁתַּצִילֵנוּ מִכָּל מִינֵי חֳלָאִים רָעִים, וּבִפְרָט מֵחֹלִי שֶׁל שְׁבִירַת עֲצָמוֹת (שקוֹרין ברעכינעש), אֲשֶׁר עַל־פִּי־רֹב בָּא הַחוֹלַאַת הַזֶּה רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן, מֵחֲמַת קִלְקוּל הַמֹּחַ שֶׁבָּעֲצָמוֹת, שֶׁזֶּה בָּא עַל־יְדֵי תַּאֲוַת נִאוּף רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן.
A Healing of the Bones
[May it be Your will, HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, that You will heal me from every type of disease, particularly from the disease of broken bones (or diseased bone marrow), which is generally caused by a problem with the marrow in the bones, which comes as a result of the lust for illicit sexual pleasures, may God protect us.
וְתִשְׁלַח רְפוּאָה שְׁלֵמָה רְפוּאַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ וּרְפוּאַת הַגּוּף לְכָל חוֹלֵי עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל.
Send a complete healing — a healing of the soul and the body — to all the sick of Your nation, the House of Israel.
״רְפָאֵנִי יְיָ כִּי נִבְהֲלוּ עֲצָמָי. וְנַפְשִׁי נִבְהֲלָה מְאֹד וְאַתָּה יְיָ עַד מָתָי. שׁוּבָה יְיָ חַלְּצָה נַפְשִׁי הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי לְמַעַן חַסְדֶּךָ״. רְפָאֵנוּ יְיָ וְנֵרָפֵא הוֹשִׁיעֵנוּ וְנִוָּשֵׁעָה כִּי תְהִלָּתֵנוּ אָתָּה.
“Heal me, HaShem, for my bones shudder. My spirit shudders greatly. And You, HaShem, how long? Return, HaShem, rescue my soul. Save me for the sake of Your kindness.” “Heal me, HaShem, so that I will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise.”]
וּבְכֵן יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶׁתִּהְיֶה בְּעֶזְרִי תָמִיד, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְהִתְפַּלֵּל תְּפִלָּתִי לְפָנֶיךָ בְּכַוָּנָה גְּדוֹלָה וַעֲצוּמָה בְּכָל לֵב וָנֶפֶשׁ בֶּאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ.
The Sweet Waters of True Prayer
HaShem, my God and the God of my fathers, help me always. Guide me to pray to You with intensity, truthfully, with all my heart and soul.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְכַוֵּן הֵיטֵב בְּכָל דִּבּוּר וְדִבּוּר שֶׁל הַתְּפִלָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, וְלֹא יֵצֵא שׁוּם דִּבּוּר מִפִּי בִּתְפִלָּתִי שֶׁלֹּא בְּכַוָּנָה, וְאַשְׁמִיעַ לְאָזְנַי הֵיטֵב הֵיטֵב מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מוֹצִיא מִפִּי בִּתְפִלָּתִי וּתְחִנָּתִי וּבַקָּשָׁתִי, וּבְכָל מִינֵי שִׁירוֹת וְתִשְׁבָּחוֹת וְהוֹדָאוֹת שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְסַדֵּר לְפָנֶיךָ בְּכָל יוֹם תָּמִיד.
Guide me to fill my every word of prayer with good intent. Guide me so that I will not say even one word of prayer without feeling. May I clearly enunciate my prayers and all the songs, praises and thanksgiving that I place before You every day, constantly.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי לְמַיִין מְתִיקִין, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְגִּישׁ מְתִיקוּת וַעֲרֵבוּת וּנְעִימוּת דִּבּוּרֵי הַתְּפִלָּה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהַרְגִּישׁ מְתִיקוּת כָּל דִּבּוּר וְדִּבּוּר שֶׁל הַתְּפִלָּה בְּתוֹךְ כָּל עַצְמוֹתַי, וִידֻשְּׁנוּ כָּל עַצְמוֹתַי עַל־יְדֵי דִּבּוּרֵי הַתְּפִלָּה הַקְּדוֹשִׁים, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַיֵּם בֶּאֱמֶת מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, כָּל עַצְמוֹתַי תֹּאמַרְנָה יְהֹוָה מִי כָמוֹךָ מַצִּיל עָנִי מֵחָזָק מִמֶּנּוּ וְעָנִי וְאֶבְיוֹן מִגּוֹזְלוֹ.
Help me to attain the sweet waters — help me to feel the sweetness and pleasantness of the words of holy prayer in all my bones. May all my bones be sated by these holy words of prayer. May I truly realize the words, “All my bones will say, ‘HaShem, who is like You, Who rescues the poor person from the one stronger than he and the impoverished and pauper from the person who robs him.’”
וְתַעֲלֶה תְּפִלָּתִי לְפָנֶיךָ לְרַחֲמִים וּלְרָצוֹן לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ, וְיֵרֵד אַרְיֵה שֶׁבַּמֶּרְכָּבָה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה לֶאֱכֹל אֶת תְּפִלָּתִי וּלְהַעֲלוֹתָהּ לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ.
May my prayer rise before You and be compassionately accepted before Your throne of glory. May the lion on the supernal, holy chariot descend to consume my prayer and bring it up to Your throne of glory.
וּבְרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים תַּצִּיל אֶת תְּפִלָּתִי מִן הַכְּלָבִים עַזֵּי נֶפֶשׁ, שֶׁלֹּא יִטְרְפוּ אֶת תְּפִלָּתִי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, וְתַצִּילֵנִי מֵעַזֵּי פָּנִים וּמֵעַזּוּת פָּנִים, שֶׁלֹּא יִתְגָּרוּ בִּתְפִלָּתִי עַזֵּי פָּנִים שֶׁבַּדּוֹר, וְלֹא יַחֲלוֹקוּ עַל תְּפִלָּתִי.
In Your never-ending compassion, rescue my prayer from the arrogant dogs so that they will not attack it, Heaven forbid. Rescue me from the insolent men of the generation, so that they will not assail my prayer.
וְתִתֶּן לָנוּ כֹחַ לַעֲמֹד כְּנֶגֶד הָעַזֵּי פָּנִים שֶׁבַּדּוֹר הַחוֹלְקִים וּמְקַטְרְגִים עַל תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ וְרוֹצִים לְבַלְבֵּל אוֹתָנוּ מִתְּפִלָּתֵנוּ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם. וְתַעַזְרֵנוּ לְהַכְנִיעָם וּלְשַׁבְּרָם וּלְהַשְׁפִּילָם עַד עָפָר, כֻּלָּם יִכְרְעוּ וְיִפּוֹלוּ לְפָנֵינוּ וְיָשׁוּבוּ אֵלֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וְיַכִּירוּ כֹחַ מַלְכוּתֶךָ.
Give me the strength to withstand the arrogant of the generation who dispute and attack our prayers, who wish to confuse us and prevent us from praying, Heaven forbid. Help me to overcome them, break them and cast them down to the dust, so that they will bow and fall before me and return to You in truth, recognizing the power of Your sovereignty.
כִּי אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ, כִּי אֵין בָּנוּ כֹחַ לַעֲמֹד כְּנֶגְדָּם כִּי אִם בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וּבְכֹחֲךָ הַגָּדוֹל, וּבְכֹחַ וּזְכוּת הַצַּדִּיקִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים אֲשֶׁר עָסְקוּ בִּתְפִלָּה כָּל יְמֵיהֶם, אֲשֶׁר כֹּחַ קְדֻשָּׁתָם יְכוֹלָה לְהָגֵן גַּם עָלֵינוּ שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה בִּזְכוּתָם לְקַדֵּשׁ וּלְטַהֵר עַצְמֵנוּ בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְהִתְפַּלֵּל בְּכַוָּנָה גְּדוֹלָה וּבִמְסִירַת נֶפֶשׁ וּבְשִׂמְחָה רַבָּה,
You know that without Your vast compassion and great strength, I lack the strength to withstand them. I require the strength and merit of the true Tzaddikim who engage in prayer their entire lives, whose power of wholeness can protect us, so that we will sanctify and purify ourselves in truly great holiness and pray with great feeling, devotion and joy.
וּלְהַצִּיל אֶת תְּפִלָּתֵנוּ מִן כָּל הָעַזֵּי פָּנִים שֶׁבַּדּוֹר, מֵקִים מֵעָפָר דָּל מֵאַשְׁפּוֹת יָרִים אֶבְיוֹן חוּס וְחָנֵּנוּ וַחֲמֹל עָלֵינוּ וּמַלֵּא מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֵינוּ בְּרַחֲמִים לְמַעַן שִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל וְהַקָּדוֹשׁ שֶׁנִּקְרָא עָלֵינוּ, כִּי שִׁמְךָ מְשֻׁתָּף בִּשְׁמֵנוּ:
Protect my prayer from the arrogant of the generation. “You raise the poor man from the dust. You lift the impoverished man from the ash heap.” Have pity and be gracious to me. Have mercy on me and compassionately fulfill my requests for the sake of Your great and holy Name, which You have bestowed upon me — for Your Name is joined to mine.
וּבְכֵן תְּרַחֵם עָלַי וּתְזַכֵּנִי וְתוֹרֵנִי וּתְלַמְּדֵנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לֵידַע בֶּאֱמֶת אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג בְּעִנְיָן הַתַּעֲנִיּוֹת שֶׁאֲנִי מְחֻיָּב לְהִתְעַנּוֹת בִּשְׁבִיל תְּשׁוּבָה עַל עֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים, כִּי אַתָּה לְבַד יָדַעְתָּ אֶת כָּל הַמְּנִיעוֹת וְכָל הַסְּפֵקוֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ לִי עַל זֶה, עַד שֶאֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ לָתֵת עֵצוֹת בְּנַפְשִׁי כְּלָל בְּעִנְיָן זֶה שֶׁל תַּעֲנִיּוֹת. וְאַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ כַּמָּה אֲנִי צָרִיךְ לְהִתְעַנּוֹת, עַד אֲשֶׁר כָּל יָמַי לֹא יַסְפִּיקוּ לִי לְהִתְעַנּוֹת חֵלֶק אֶחָד מֵאֶלֶף וּרְבָבָה מִמַּה שֶּׁאֲנִי צָרִיךְ לְהִתְעַנּוֹת עַל תִּקּוּן חֵטְא וּפְגַם אֶחָד מֵחֲטָאַי וּפְשָׁעַי וּפְגָמַי הַמְּרֻבִּים מְאֹד, וְאֵין אִתָּנוּ יוֹדֵעַ עַד מָה לַחְשֹׁב מַחֲשָׁבוֹת לְיַשֵּׁב דַּעְתֵּנוּ כְּלָל בְּעִנְיָן זֶה, כַּאֲשֶׁר נִגְלָה לְפָנֶיךָ אֲדוֹן כֹּל.
Holy Fasting
Have compassion on me. Teach me so that I will know how to act in regard to fasting as a means of repenting for my many sins. You alone know all the obstacles, the doubts and turmoil, that I suffer in this regard, which make it impossible for me to know what to do. You know how badly I need to fast. Even if I fasted all the days of my life, it would not suffice to rectify a millionth of the damage of what my sins have caused. And no one can satisfy my mind on this point, as is clear to You, Master of the Universe.
חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי וְרַחֵם עָלַי, וְהַדְרִיכֵנִי בַּאֲמִתְּךָ וְלַמְּדֵנִי הָאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג בְּעִנְיָן זֶה וּבְכָל הָעִנְיָנִים וְהַהַנְהָגוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לָצֵאת מֵרַע לְטוֹב, מֵחֹשֶׁךְ לְאוֹר גָדוֹל, וְלָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבְלֵב שָׁלֵם, וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת כָּל יָמַי בִּתְשׁוּבָה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה בֶּאֱמֶת:
Have pity and guide me in Your truth. Teach me the ultimate truth — how to act in this regard and, in fact, in all matters, in every aspect of how I must conduct myself in this world — so that I will emerge from evil to good, from darkness to light, and return to You completely, truthfully and with a whole heart, and spend all the days of my life in repentance, holiness and purity.
וּתְזַכֵּנִי שֶׁתִּהְיֶה אֲכִילָתִי בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה בְּלִי שׁוּם תַּאֲוַת הַגּוּף כְּלָל, רַק לֶאֱכֹל מְעַט בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה לְהַשְׂבִּיעַ נַפְשִׁי דִּקְדֻשָּׁה,
Eating in Holiness
Help me to eat in holiness and purity — without any physical desire, but only in order to eat a little with great holiness to satisfy my holy spirit.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת בִּכְלָל הַצַּדִּיקִים הָאוֹכְלִים לְשֹׂבַע נַפְשָׁם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, צַדִּיק אוֹכֵל לְשֹׂבַע נַפְשׁוֹ.
May I be counted among the Tzaddikim who eat to satisfy their holy spirit. As the verse states, “The righteous man eats to satisfy his soul.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, מָרֵא דְּעַלְמָא כֹּלָּא, שִׁטַּחְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ כַפָּי, לְךָ לְבַד עֵינַי תְלוּיוֹת לְךָ לְבַד רַעְיוֹנַי צוֹפִיּוֹת, לְמַתְּנַת חִנָּם לְנִדְבַת חֶסֶד, לִתְשׁוּעַת יְהֹוָה עֵינַי מְיַחֲלוֹת וְדוֹמִיּוֹת. צָפוּ מַיִם עַל רֹאשִׁי אָמַרְתִּי נִגְזָרְתִּי. קָרָאתִי שִׁמְךָ יְהֹוָה מִבּוֹר תַּחְתִּיּוֹת. מִבֶּטֶן שְׁאוֹל שִׁוַּעְתִּי שָׁמַעְתָּ קוֹלִי. קוֹלִי שָׁמָעְתָּ אַל תַּעְלֵם אָזְנְךָ לְרַוְחָתִי לְשַׁוְעָתִי.
Master of the Universe, “I have stretched my hands out to You.” “To You alone are my eyes raised. To You alone do my thoughts turn, as I hope to receive Your undeserved gift, Your unrequited gift. My eyes turn with hope and longing to the salvation of HaShem. Waters have flowed over my head. I said, ‘I am cut off.’ I called out Your Name, HaShem, from the lowest pit. I called out from the belly of Gehinnom. You heard my voice. Do not hide Your ear, but give me ease and save me.”
וְאֵשֵׁב וַאֲיַחֵל וַאֲצַפֶּה לְרַחֲמֶיךָ עַד יַשְׁקִיף וְיֵרֶא יְהֹוָה מִשָּׁמָיִם.
I sit and hope and anticipate Your compassion, “for HaShem, Who gazes and sees from Heaven.”
עָזְרֵנִי כִּי עָלֶיךָ נִשְׁעָנְתִּי, עֵינַי תָּמִיד אֶל יְהֹוָה כִּי הוּא יוֹצִיא מֵרֶשֶׁת רַגְלָי. יִשְׁלַח עֶזְרִי מִקֹּדֶשׁ וּמִצִּיּוֹן יִסְעָדֵנִי, וּמִכָּל מִינֵי טֻמְאוֹת וְזֻהֲמוֹת מְהֵרָה יוֹצִיאֵנִי, וּבְכָל מִינֵי קְדֻשּׁוֹת יְקַדְּשֵׁנִי, וּלְכָל מִינֵי תְּשׁוּבוֹת בֶּאֱמֶת יְזַכֵּנִי, וּלְחַיִּים טוֹבִים חַיִּים אֲרֻכִּים חַיִּים נִצְחִיִּים מְהֵרָה יַגִּיעֵנִי, וְלָאָרֶץ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה חוּשָׁה מְהֵרָה יְבִיאֵנִי, וּבְכָל הַתִּקּוּנִים יְתַקְּנֵנִי, וּמֵרִיב לְשׁוֹנוֹת בְּסֻכּוֹ יִצְפְּנֵנִי, אַל תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי לְעֵת זִקְנָה כִּכְלוֹת כֹּחִי אַל תַּעַזְבֵנִי. אַל תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ אַל תִּקַּח מִמֶּנִּי. אַל תַּעַזְבֵנִי יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי אַל תִּרְחַק מִמֶּנִּי. חוּשָׁה לְעֶזְרָתִי יְהֹוָה תְּשׁוּעָתִי.
Help me because I rely on You. “My eyes are always turned to HaShem, for He brings my feet out of the net.” You Who send my help from the sacred and support me from Zion, quickly deliver me from every sort of uncleanness and pollution. Sanctify me with every sort of holiness. Allow me to reach every sort of true repentance and a good, eternal life. Bring me soon to the Holy Land. Rectify me with every rectification. Hide me in Your booth from the dispute of people’s tongues. “Do not cast me away in a time of old age when my strength is worn away. Do not abandon me. Do not cast me away from You. Do not take the spirit of Your holiness away from me. Do not abandon me, HaShem my God. Do not grow distant from me. Come quickly to help me, HaShem, my salvation.”
יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה צוּרִי וְגוֹאֲלִי. אָמֵן וְאָמֵן:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You, HaShem, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Amen and amen.