Breaking the spell of illusion / Developing the power of the mind / Overcoming physical cravings / Obstacles and barriers / Rebuilding of the Holy Temple / Charity / Joy “When the Holy Temple was destroyed, the shamir worm, the dripping honey of tzufim, and people with amanah, enduring faith, disappeared” (Sotah 48a). These three categories allude to three stages in the development of our mental and spiritual powers (which, when fully developed, correspond to the Holy Temple). The first stage is to break the ko’ach hamedameh, literally, the “power of imagination” — the human tendency to be swayed by outward appearances and irrational impulses. Just as the shamir worm had the power to split the stones used to build the Holy Temple, so we must break the stubbornness of our “hearts of stone.” This allows our latent intellectual powers to become manifest. We must then develop them, so as to taste the sweetness of the life of the mind and soul — the honey of tzufim. Only when our mental powers have reached their maximum potential can we be said to have acquired holy wisdom and intelligence — and this is amanah, the only part of a person that endures after his death. The physical cravings and mental obstacles arising from the ko’ach hamedameh are kelipot, “husks,” covering over and concealing the “fruit” of spirituality. In one form or another, these “husks” exist on every level of spiritual development, and are inevitably the first thing we encounter when striving to rise to a higher level of devotion and service of God. Since light sends the forces of darkness to flight, these “husks” can be overcome through revealing God’s greatness. We can do this by giving charity to a Jew who is in genuine need, as physical money is a garb for the Supernal Colors (corresponding to the sefirot), and these are revealed when the money comes into the hands of a Jew who will use it to serve God. May it be Your will, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that You will have compassion on me, help me, and save me. There’s a force in my heart that constantly makes me fall prey to fantasies and illusions. Help me break and uproot this force, and then I’ll be able to stop following the stubborn dictates of my evil urge, and I won’t go after my heart and eyes anymore.
With the help of Your great power, let me overcome, break, subdue and eradicate all my imaginary cravings, and all the inner confusion and obstacles that stem from this animalistic force in my heart.
Let me stop acting like a beast and rid myself of animalistic urges. Let me stop being “like a horse, like a mule that has no understanding.” “One who acts like a wild donkey should renew himself and learn to be a man.”
Help me rise from the level of an animal to the holy level of Adam, man. Instead of being under the sway of impulse and self-deception, let me rule myself with holy reason. Have pity on me, be kind to me, and have compassion on me! Let me quickly break the hold that fantasy and illusion have over me. Instead, let me develop, refine and elevate my intellect.
Open up to me the light of holy wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Help me learn to use my mind, so that I will be able to actualize my latent mental and spiritual powers in all their sweetness.
Let me understand one thing from another, develop true and original Torah ideas, and rise to ever higher levels of perceiving Your Godliness. Help me develop my mind to the point that I’ll be able to attain mastery of whole new structures in the holy Torah, in Divine service and in perceptions of Godliness. Help me make rapid progress in discovering my latent mental and spiritual powers, actualizing them, and developing them to the fullest possible extent.
In Your vast compassion, help me develop my intellect to its full potential, so that my accomplishments will remain and live on in the world, and something of me will survive after my death.
For You know, Master of the entire world, that all that survives of a person after death is what he has attained through actualizing his holy intellect and developing it to the very maximum. This is only possible to the extent that he breaks and uproots his materialistic urges and fantasies.
But because of my many sins, I have already spent days and years chasing after my appetites and following the dictates of my heart. I have sinned and transgressed before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, because of my “heart of stone” — this force that holds me under the spell of fantasies and illusions. Please, HaShem, have compassion on me!
Help me from now on to uproot this stubbornness in my heart and break all my animalistic urges. Help me rise quickly and easily to the level of holy reason.
Help me truly understand Your Torah and use wisdom and intelligence in serving You. Let me actualize my latent mental and spiritual powers in all their sweetness. May I develop them to the fullest, in holiness and purity, and attain true Torah insights and new spiritual perceptions at every moment.
Confronting challenges on each new level In Your vast compassion and tremendous kindness, help me advance constantly, step by step, from level to level, in great holiness and purity.
Each time I come to a new level, help me peel away and destroy all the “husks” that come before the “fruit” on each level — these are the physical cravings, the misconceptions, the obstacles and the mental confusion that attack a person each time he wants to rise from one level to the next. They spread out in front of him and block his way, throwing him into confusion and refusing to let him rise up.
Please, HaShem, You are filled with compassion. Have pity on me! Be merciful to me! Save me! Help me! Strengthen me! Give me strength and guidance. Fill me with determination, wisdom and holy understanding. Every time I come to a new level, enable me to overcome all the obstacles.
But each time I feel inspired to make some effort to move even slightly from where I am — to climb up from my low level and attain some degree of holiness — the fantasies, urges, distracting thoughts and inner obstacles attack immediately. Each time the attacks are worse than before, as You know. I have found it impossible to reach the level I need to attain. It’s not enough that I have been unable to make progress, but the attacks have been so bad, as You know, that I’ve been thrown down further and further each time.
This has happened again and again, innumerable times. Whenever I try to make some progress, these urges and distracting thoughts rear up and attack with ever greater strength. “My life has been spent in grief and my years in groaning.” I simply don’t know what to do.
I fully acknowledge and confess, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that I myself am to blame. No doubt I had the power to fight back each time and overcome all the obstacles — because You are not a tyrant seeking to thwart Your creatures.
Just as You gave these forces the power to stand in my way and frustrate my efforts, so too, You have given me an even greater power to fight back and totally overcome them. But because of my many sins, I have failed to take care of my soul, and I have not used the strength You gave me to break and remove these obstacles. I have not followed Your holy guidance.
Show me compassion! Even if I don’t deserve it, shower me with kindness. Help me each time to break, destroy and remove all the “husks,” all the fantasies and urges, and all the obstacles and distractions on every level.
Let me advance quickly, swiftly and speedily from level to level, and advance constantly, in great holiness and purity, until I attain the highest, most exalted of levels, as befits a Jew.
Charity In Your vast compassion, help me give plenty of charity to genuinely deserving people. In Your great mercy, always send me people who are truly deserving, righteous and honest, so that I can fulfill this mitzvah through them. Bless me with abundance and provide me with plenty of money to give to charity. Give me the merit of helping and supporting Torah scholars and true servants of HaShem. In Your compassion, rescue me and protect me from falling into the trap of giving to people who are not genuinely deserving. For You know, HaShem, that we are only flesh and blood, and we can only go by outward appearances. I find it impossible to distinguish between those who are deserving and those who are not. Therefore, I plead with You: Always send me truly deserving and honest people, so that I can fulfill this mitzvah through them.
Help me support them to the best of my ability and give them plenty of charity. Let me do so happily, with an open heart and with a smile. Through my charity, let the Supernal Colors that are clothed in the money of a Jew shine forth. Let these holy colors, which are Your pride and glory, merge with one another and radiate, so as to reveal the greatness of the Blessed Creator. Be glorified, exalted and magnified through the revelation of the holy colors that will be revealed, merged and radiate through my charity, and make “garments of salvation, a coat of righteousness.”
Compassionate God, help me attain holy joy, and rejoice and delight in HaShem. Let me always be happy over the fact that You have made me a Jew and drawn me close to Your service, and helped me join with pure and Godfearing people and attach myself to the true tzaddikim.
May the verse be fulfilled in me, “I will rejoice in HaShem, my soul will delight in my God; for He has clothed me in garments of salvation, He has garbed me in a coat of righteousness.” Through this, help me break and destroy all the “husks,” fantasies, impulses, distractions and obstacles on every level. Let me purify and sanctify each new level from the “husks.” Help me sanctify and purify myself at all times, so that I will be able to rise quickly, swiftly and speedily from one level to the next in great holiness and purity, until I reach the supreme level of the true tzaddikim.
Help me and give me the strength to conduct myself with purity and holiness in the realm of the permissible. Let me serve You with my eating, drinking and the like.
May I perfect myself both in the “inner” service of Torah, mitzvot and good deeds, and in the “outer” service of eating, drinking, and satisfying my other physical needs. Let me conduct myself with perfect holiness and purity in both these forms of service. Help me reach ever higher levels of refinement and sanctity, so that the outer service will become an inner service.
Then my eating, drinking and other physical activities will have the holiness of Torah and mitzvot, while my Torah and mitzvot will become even more refined, holy and complete. Let me constantly rise from level to level. Each time let my outer service become an inner service, while my inner service will become even more elevated.
May the entire Jewish people be merged together in great love, brotherhood, friendship and peace. May we all lift each other up and elevate each other, step by step, from level to level, in great holiness.
Compassionate God, help me recite all the sacrificial portions and the passages dealing with the incense-offering with intense concentration and awesome holiness.
Let my words rise up to You as if I had actually offered all the sacrifices in their proper time and season, in their proper place, and in full accordance with all their laws. We will pay for the bull-offerings with the words of our lips, as it is written, “This is the law of the burntoffering, the flour-offering, the sin-offering, the guilt-offering, the priests’ offering and the peace-offering.”
Through my recital of the sacrificial portions, let me subdue, break and destroy the force in my heart that makes me fall prey to fantasies and illusions, removing it from myself entirely. Hurry and redeem us! Rebuild our holy and glorious Temple so that we can offer all the sacrifices there as an atonement.
The three things that disappeared when the Holy Temple was destroyed will then be returned: the shamir worm that cut through stone, the dripping honey of tzufim, and amanah, enduring faith.
Let us be ruled by the holy intellect, and merit the fountain of wisdom that will come forth from the House of HaShem, as it is written, “A fountain will come forth from the House of HaShem.”
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה כ"ה - אַחֲוֵי לָן מָנָא]
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶׁתְּרַחֵם עָלַי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל אֶת הַכֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה שֶׁבַּלֵּב, וְלֹא אֵלֵךְ עוֹד אַחַר שְׁרִירוּת לִבִּי הָרַע, וְלֹא אָתוּר אַחַר לְבָבִי וְאַחַר עֵינַי,
Breaking the spell of illusion / Developing the power of the mind / Overcoming physical cravings / Obstacles and barriers / Rebuilding of the Holy Temple / Charity / Joy
“When the Holy Temple was destroyed, the shamir worm, the dripping honey of tzufim, and people with amanah, enduring faith, disappeared” (Sotah 48a). These three categories allude to three stages in the development of our mental and spiritual powers (which, when fully developed, correspond to the Holy Temple). The first stage is to break the ko’ach hamedameh, literally, the “power of imagination” — the human tendency to be swayed by outward appearances and irrational impulses. Just as the shamir worm had the power to split the stones used to build the Holy Temple, so we must break the stubbornness of our “hearts of stone.” This allows our latent intellectual powers to become manifest. We must then develop them, so as to taste the sweetness of the life of the mind and soul — the honey of tzufim. Only when our mental powers have reached their maximum potential can we be said to have acquired holy wisdom and intelligence — and this is amanah, the only part of a person that endures after his death.
The physical cravings and mental obstacles arising from the ko’ach hamedameh are kelipot, “husks,” covering over and concealing the “fruit” of spirituality. In one form or another, these “husks” exist on every level of spiritual development, and are inevitably the first thing we encounter when striving to rise to a higher level of devotion and service of God. Since light sends the forces of darkness to flight, these “husks” can be overcome through revealing God’s greatness. We can do this by giving charity to a Jew who is in genuine need, as physical money is a garb for the Supernal Colors (corresponding to the sefirot), and these are revealed when the money comes into the hands of a Jew who will use it to serve God.
May it be Your will, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that You will have compassion on me, help me, and save me. There’s a force in my heart that constantly makes me fall prey to fantasies and illusions. Help me break and uproot this force, and then I’ll be able to stop following the stubborn dictates of my evil urge, and I won’t go after my heart and eyes anymore.
רַק אֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְגַּבֵּר בְּכֹחֲךָ הַגָּדוֹל, לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְהַכְנִיעַ וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת הַמְּדֻמִּיּוֹת וְכָל הַבִּלְבּוּלִים וְכָל הַמְּנִיעוֹת הַבָּאִים מִכֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה שֶׁהוּא כֹחַ הַבְּהֵמִיּוּת, וְ
With the help of Your great power, let me overcome, break, subdue and eradicate all my imaginary cravings, and all the inner confusion and obstacles that stem from this animalistic force in my heart.
לֹא אֶעֱשֶׂה עוֹד מַעֲשֵׂה בְּהֵמָה, וְיִתְבַּטְּלוּ מִמֶּנִּי כָּל תַּאֲווֹת הַבְּהֵמִיּוֹת, וְלֹא אֶהְיֶה עוֹד כְּסוּס כְּפֶרֶד אֵין הָבִין, וְעַיִר פֶּרֶא אָדָם יִוָּלֵד.
Let me stop acting like a beast and rid myself of animalistic urges. Let me stop being “like a horse, like a mule that has no understanding.” “One who acts like a wild donkey should renew himself and learn to be a man.”
וְאֶזְכֶּה לָצֵאת וְלַעֲלוֹת מִבְּחִינַת בְּהֵמָה לִבְחִינַת אָדָם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְתַעֲלֵנִי מְהֵרָה מִן הַמְדַמֶּה אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה: חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי וְרַחֵם עָלַי, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה לְשַׁבֵּר אֶת כֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה וְלַעֲלוֹת אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְיָקוּם וְיִתְרוֹמֵם וְיִתְעַלֶּה תְּכוּנַת שִׂכְלִי לְמַעְלָה לְמַעְלָה,
Help me rise from the level of an animal to the holy level of Adam, man. Instead of being under the sway of impulse and self-deception, let me rule myself with holy reason. Have pity on me, be kind to me, and have compassion on me! Let me quickly break the hold that fantasy and illusion have over me. Instead, let me develop, refine and elevate my intellect.
וְיֻפְתַּח לִי אוֹר הַחָכְמָה וְהַבִּינָה וְהַדַּעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהִתְבּוֹנֵן בְּשִׂכְלִי, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהוֹצִיא מְתִיקוּת שִׂכְלִי מִכֹּחַ אֶל הַפֹּעַל,
Open up to me the light of holy wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Help me learn to use my mind, so that I will be able to actualize my latent mental and spiritual powers in all their sweetness.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהָבִין דָּבָר מִתּוֹךְ דָּבָר, וּלְחַדֵּשׁ חִדּוּשִׁים אֲמִתִּיִּים בַּתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, וּלְהַשִּׂיג הַשָּׂגַת אֱלָהוּתְךָ, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִקְנוֹת בְּשִׂכְלִי חִדּוּשִׁים וּבִנְיָנִים שְׁלֵמִים בַּתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וּבַעֲבוֹדַת יְהֹוָה וּבְהַשָּׂגוֹת אֱלָהוּת. וּתְזַכֵּנִי מְהֵרָה לְכָל הַשְׁלֹשָׁה בְּחִינוֹת שֶׁל הַשֵּׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, שֶׁהֵם, שֵׂכֶל בְּכֹחַ, וְשֵׂכֶל הַפֹּעַל, וְשֵׂכֶל הַנִּקְנֶה.
Let me understand one thing from another, develop true and original Torah ideas, and rise to ever higher levels of perceiving Your Godliness. Help me develop my mind to the point that I’ll be able to attain mastery of whole new structures in the holy Torah, in Divine service and in perceptions of Godliness. Help me make rapid progress in discovering my latent mental and spiritual powers, actualizing them, and developing them to the fullest possible extent.
וּתְרַחֵם עָלַי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְתַעַזְרֵנִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נִשְׁאָר מִמֶּנִּי שְׁאֵרִית בָּאָרֶץ לְאַחַר הִסְתַּלְּקוּתִי מִן הָעוֹלָם,
Have compassion on me and save me. Grant that something of me will remain on earth after I leave this world.
שֶׁיִּשָּׁאֵר וְיִתְקַיֵּם שִׂכְלִי הַנִּקְנֶה דִּקְדֻשָּׁה בָּעוֹלָם, וְיִתְקַיֵּם הִשָּׁאֲרוּתִי לְאַחַר מִיתָתִי, עַל־יְדֵי שֵׂכֶל הַנִּקְנֶה דִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֶׁתְּזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים:
In Your vast compassion, help me develop my intellect to its full potential, so that my accomplishments will remain and live on in the world, and something of me will survive after my death.
כִּי אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ רִבּוֹנוֹ דְעַלְמָא כֹּלָא, שֶׁאֵין קִיּוּמוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם לְאַחַר מִיתָתוֹ, אֶלָּא עַל־יְדֵי שֵׂכֶל הַנִּקְנֶה שֶׁזּוֹכֶה לְהַשִּׂיג וְלִקְנוֹת בְּדַעְתּוֹ, כְּפִי מַה שֶּׁזּוֹכֶה לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל תַּאֲווֹת עוֹלָם הַזֶּה וַהֲבָלָיו שֶׁנִּמְשָׁכִין מִכֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה.
For You know, Master of the entire world, that all that survives of a person after death is what he has attained through actualizing his holy intellect and developing it to the very maximum. This is only possible to the extent that he breaks and uproots his materialistic urges and fantasies.
וּבַעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים, כְּבָר כִּלִּיתִי יָמִים וְשָׁנִים בִּרְדִיפַת הַתַּאֲווֹת וּבִשְׁרִירוּת לִבִּי, וְחָטָאתִי עָוִיתִי וּפָשַׁעְתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, עַל־יְדֵי לֵב הָאֶבֶן שֶׁהוּא הַכֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה שֶׁבַּלֵּב. אָנָּא יְהֹוָה, רַחֵם עָלַי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וְחָנֵּנִי בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ הַגְּדוֹלִים,
But because of my many sins, I have already spent days and years chasing after my appetites and following the dictates of my heart. I have sinned and transgressed before You, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, because of my “heart of stone” — this force that holds me under the spell of fantasies and illusions. Please, HaShem, have compassion on me!
וּמְחֹל לִי עַל כָּל חֲטָאַי וַעֲוֹנוֹתַי וּפְשָׁעַי הָעֲצוּמִים,
Be kind to me! Forgive me for all my sins and transgressions.
וְעָזְרֵנִי מֵעַתָּה לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל אֶת הַכֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה שֶׁבְּלִבִּי שֶׁהוּא שְׁרִירוּת לִבִּי, וְאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת הַבְּהֵמִיּוֹת. וְאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲלוֹת אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה,
Help me from now on to uproot this stubbornness in my heart and break all my animalistic urges. Help me rise quickly and easily to the level of holy reason.
וְתַעַזְרֵנִי לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל בְּתוֹרָתְךָ וּבַעֲבוֹדָתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת, וּלְהוֹצִיא מְתִיקוּת שִׂכְלִי מִכֹּחַ אֶל הַפֹּעַל, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַשִּׂיג שֵׂכֶל הַנִּקְנֶה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְהַשִּׂיג חִדּוּשִׁין דְּאוֹרַיְיתָא אֲמִתִּיִּים וְהַשָּׂגוֹת חֲדָשׁוֹת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה בְּכָל־עֵת וָעֵת:
Help me truly understand Your Torah and use wisdom and intelligence in serving You. Let me actualize my latent mental and spiritual powers in all their sweetness. May I develop them to the fullest, in holiness and purity, and attain true Torah insights and new spiritual perceptions at every moment.
וּבְכֵן תַּעַזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וּבַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲלוֹת בְּכָל פַּעַם מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא וּמִמַּעֲלָה לְמַעֲלָה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה.
Confronting challenges on each new level
In Your vast compassion and tremendous kindness, help me advance constantly, step by step, from level to level, in great holiness and purity.
וְתִהְיֶה בְּעֶזְרִי לְבַעֵר וּלְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל בְּכָל פַּעַם, כָּל הַקְּלִפּוֹת הַקּוֹדְמִין לַפְּרִי שֶׁבְּכָל דַּרְגָּא וְדַרְגָּא, שֶׁהֵם הַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַדִּמְיוֹנוֹת וְהַמְּנִיעוֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים, שֶׁמִּתְגַּבְּרִים בְּכָל פַּעַם כְּשֶׁהָאָדָם רוֹצֶה לַעֲלוֹת מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא, וְהֵם מִתְפַּשְּׁטִים וּמִשְׁתַּטְּחִים לִפְנֵי הָאָדָם, וּמוֹנְעִים אוֹתוֹ וּמְבַלְבְּלִים אוֹתוֹ וּמְעַכְּבִים אוֹתוֹ מִלַּעֲלוֹת מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא.
Each time I come to a new level, help me peel away and destroy all the “husks” that come before the “fruit” on each level — these are the physical cravings, the misconceptions, the obstacles and the mental confusion that attack a person each time he wants to rise from one level to the next. They spread out in front of him and block his way, throwing him into confusion and refusing to let him rise up.
אָנָּא יְהֹוָה, מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, חוּס וַחֲמֹל עָלַי וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְעָזְרֵנִי וְסַיְּעֵנִי וְחַזְּקֵנִי וְאַמְּצֵנִי, וְתֵן לִי כֹחַ וְעֵצָה וּגְבוּרָה וְחָכְמָה וְשֵׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְזַכֵּנִי לְשַׁבְּרָם וּלְבַטְּלָם בְּכָל פַּעַם בְּכָל מַדְרֵגָה וּמַדְרֵגָה דִּקְדֻשָּׁה:
Please, HaShem, You are filled with compassion. Have pity on me! Be merciful to me! Save me! Help me! Strengthen me! Give me strength and guidance. Fill me with determination, wisdom and holy understanding. Every time I come to a new level, enable me to overcome all the obstacles.
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהִים, אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ אֶת כָּל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר עָלַי מִנְּעוּרַי עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה, כִּי זֶה כַּמָּה נִכְסוֹף נִכְסַפְתִּי לִרְאוֹת בְּתִפְאֶרֶת עֻזֶּךָ,
Master of the world, HaShem, God, You know everything I’ve gone through from my youth until today. How I long to see Your power and splendor!
וּבְכָל פַּעַם שֶׁאֲנִי מִתְעוֹרֵר וְרוֹצֶה לַחְתֹּר וְלַעֲלוֹת וּלְהַעְתִּיק מִמְּקוֹמִי אֵיזֶה הַעְתָּקָה בְעַלְמָא, לַעֲלוֹת מִמַּדְרֵגָתִי הַשְּׁפֵלָה לְמַדְרֵגוֹת שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה כְּחוּט הַשַּׂעֲרָה, אֲזַי תֵכֶף הַדִּמְיוֹנוֹת וְהַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַמְּנִיעוֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים, מִתְגַּבְּרִים עָלַי בְּכָל פַּעַם יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר מִבַּתְּחִלָּה, בְּהִתְגַּבְּרוּת גָּדוֹל וּבְהִתְפַּשְּׁטוּת עָצוּם מְאֹד, כַּאֲשֶׁר אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ, עַד שֶׁלֹּא הִנִּיחוּ אוֹתִי לַעֲלוֹת לְמָקוֹם שֶׁהָיִיתִי צָרִיךְ לַעֲלוֹת עַד הֵנָּה. וְלֹא דַי שֶׁלֹּא הִנִּיחוּ אוֹתִי לַעֲלוֹת לְמַדְרֵגָה הַגָּבוֹהַּ יוֹתֵר, אַף גַּם מִגֹּדֶל הַהִתְגַּבְּרוּת וְהַהִתְפַּשְּׁטוּת שֶׁהִתְפַּשְּׁטוּ עָלַי בְּכָל פַּעַם, כַּאֲשֶׁר אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה הִפִּילוּ אוֹתִי בְּכָל פַּעַם יוֹתֵר.
But each time I feel inspired to make some effort to move even slightly from where I am — to climb up from my low level and attain some degree of holiness — the fantasies, urges, distracting thoughts and inner obstacles attack immediately. Each time the attacks are worse than before, as You know. I have found it impossible to reach the level I need to attain. It’s not enough that I have been unable to make progress, but the attacks have been so bad, as You know, that I’ve been thrown down further and further each time.
וְכֵן הָיָה כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים בְּלִי שִׁעוּר וָעֵרֶךְ וּמִסְפָּר, שֶׁבְּכָל פַּעַם שֶׁאָנוּ חוֹתְרִים וְרוֹצִים לָצֵאת וְלַעֲלוֹת מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא בְּעֶרְכֵּנוּ, הֵם מִתְגַּבְּרִים וּמִתְגָּרִים בָּנוּ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר, עַד אֲשֶׁר כָּלוּ בְיָגוֹן חַיַּי וּשְׁנוֹתַי בַּאֲנָחָה, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת,
This has happened again and again, innumerable times. Whenever I try to make some progress, these urges and distracting thoughts rear up and attack with ever greater strength. “My life has been spent in grief and my years in groaning.” I simply don’t know what to do.
וּבֶאֱמֶת אֲנִי מוֹדֶה וּמִתְוַדֶּה לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהַי וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, כִּי אֲנִי בְעַצְמִי הַחַיָּב, כִּי בְּוַדַּאי הָיָה לִי כֹּחַ לְהִתְגַּבֵּר עֲלֵיהֶם בְּכָל פַּעַם לְנַצְּחָם וּלְשַׁבְּרָם וּלְבַטְּלָם, כִּי אֵין אַתָּה בָא בִּטְרוּנְיָא וּבַעֲלִילָה עַל בְּרִיּוֹתֶיךָ.
I fully acknowledge and confess, HaShem my God and God of my fathers, that I myself am to blame. No doubt I had the power to fight back each time and overcome all the obstacles — because You are not a tyrant seeking to thwart Your creatures.
וּכְשֵׁם שֶׁנָּתַתָּ בָּהֶם כֹּחַ לִמְנֹעַ וּלְבַלְבֵּל אוֹתִי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, כֵּן נָתַתָּ לִי כֹּחַ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר לְהִתְגַּבֵּר עֲלֵיהֶם לְשַׁבְּרָם וּלְבַטְּלָם לְגַמְרֵי, אַךְ בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים לֹא חַסְתִּי עַל נַפְשִׁי, וְלֹא נִתְגַּבַּרְתִּי בְּכֹחֲךָ לְשַׁבְּרָם וּלְבַטְּלָם, וְלֹא קִיַּמְתִּי עֵצוֹתֶיךָ הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת.
Just as You gave these forces the power to stand in my way and frustrate my efforts, so too, You have given me an even greater power to fight back and totally overcome them. But because of my many sins, I have failed to take care of my soul, and I have not used the strength You gave me to break and remove these obstacles. I have not followed Your holy guidance.
וְאַתָּה חַנּוּן וּמַרְבֵּה לְהֵטִיב, חוּס וְחָנֵּנִי וְרַחֵם עָלַי,
But You are kind and overflowing with generosity. Have pity on me! Be kind to me!
חֲמֹל עָלַי בְּחֶסֶד חִנָּם וְנִדְבַת חֶסֶד, וְעָזְרֵנִי וְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי בְּכָל פַּעַם לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַעֵר וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַקְּלִפּוֹת וְכָל הַדִּמְיוֹנוֹת וְכָל הַתַּאֲווֹת וְכָל הַמְּנִיעוֹת וְהָעִכּוּבִים וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים שֶׁבְּכָל מַדְרֵגָה וּמַדְרֵגָה,
Show me compassion! Even if I don’t deserve it, shower me with kindness. Help me each time to break, destroy and remove all the “husks,” all the fantasies and urges, and all the obstacles and distractions on every level.
בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲלוֹת חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה מִמַּדְרֵגָה לְמַדְרֵגָה בְּכָל עֵת וּבְכָל שָׁעָה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מְהֵרָה לְמַדְרֵגָה עֶלְיוֹנָה לְרוּם הַמַּעֲלוֹת כְּנָאֶה לָאִישׁ הַיִּשְׂרְאֵלִי:
Let me advance quickly, swiftly and speedily from level to level, and advance constantly, in great holiness and purity, until I attain the highest, most exalted of levels, as befits a Jew.
וְזַכֵּנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, לִתֵּן צְדָקָה הַרְבֵּה לַעֲנִיִּים מְהֻגָּנִים, וְתַחְמֹל עָלַי בְּחֶמְלָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה, וְתַזְמִין לִי תָמִיד עֲנִיִּים מְהֻגָּנִים צַדִּיקִים וּכְשֵׁרִים בֶּאֱמֶת לִזְכּוֹת בָּהֶם. וְתַשְׁפִּיעַ לִי שֶׁפַע טוֹבָה וּבְרָכָה, וְתַעֲזֹר לִי וְתַזְמִין לִי מָמוֹן הַרְבֵּה לִצְדָקָה, וְאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲזֹר וּלְהוֹשִׁיעַ וּלְהַחֲזִיק יְדֵי לוֹמְדֵי־תוֹרָה וְעוֹבְדֵי יְהֹוָה בֶּאֱמֶת. וְתַצִּילֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ וְתִשְׁמְרֵנִי, שֶׁלֹּא אֶכָּשֵׁל לְעוֹלָם בַּעֲנִיִּים שֶׁאֵינָם מְהֻגָּנִים חַס וְשָׁלוֹם. כִּי אַתָּה יָדַעְתָּ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ, כִּי בָשָׂר וָדָם אֲנָחְנוּ, וְהָאָדָם יִרְאֶה לָעֵינַיִם, וְאֵינִי זוֹכֶה לֵידַע וּלְהַבְחִין בֵּין הַהֲגוּנִים לִשְׁאֵינָם הֲגוּנִים. עַל כֵּן שִׁטַּחְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ כַּפָּי, שֶׁתְּרַחֵם בְּטוּבְךָ וְתַזְמִין לִי תָמִיד עֲנִיִּים הֲגוּנִים וּכְשֵרִים בֶּאֱמֶת לִזְכּוֹת בָּהֶם.
Charity
In Your vast compassion, help me give plenty of charity to genuinely deserving people. In Your great mercy, always send me people who are truly deserving, righteous and honest, so that I can fulfill this mitzvah through them. Bless me with abundance and provide me with plenty of money to give to charity. Give me the merit of helping and supporting Torah scholars and true servants of HaShem. In Your compassion, rescue me and protect me from falling into the trap of giving to people who are not genuinely deserving. For You know, HaShem, that we are only flesh and blood, and we can only go by outward appearances. I find it impossible to distinguish between those who are deserving and those who are not. Therefore, I plead with You: Always send me truly deserving and honest people, so that I can fulfill this mitzvah through them.
וְתַעַזְרֵנִי שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַחֲזִיקָם בְּכָל עֹז לִתֵּן לָהֶם צְדָקָה הַרְבֵּה בְּשִׂמְחָה וּבְטוּב לֵבָב בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּתְעוֹרֵר עַל־יְדֵי הַצְּדָקָה שֶׁלִּי, כָּל הַגַּוְנִין עִלָּאִין הַמְּלֻבָּשִׁין בְּמָמוֹן שֶׁל יִשְׂרָאֵל, גַּוְנִין עֶלְיוֹנִים שֶׁאַתָּה מִתְפָּאֵר בָּהֶם, וְיֻכְלְלוּ הַגַּוְנִין הַקְּדוֹשִׁים זֶה בָּזֶה, וְיָאִירוּ בְּאוֹר גָּדוֹל, עַד שֶׁיִּתְגַּלֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה גְדֻלַּת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְתִתְפָּאֵר וְתִתְנַשֵּׂא וְתִתְגַּדֵּל וְתִתְרוֹמֵם עַל־יְדֵי הִתְגַּלּוּת הַגַּוְנִין הַקְּדוֹשִׁים, שֶׁיִּתְגַּלּוּ וְיֻכְלְלוּ וְיָאִירוּ עַל־יְדֵי הַצְּדָקָה שֶׁלָּנוּ. וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּהְיוּ נַעֲשִׂים עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה בִגְדֵי יֶשַׁע מְעִיל צְדָקָה.
Help me support them to the best of my ability and give them plenty of charity. Let me do so happily, with an open heart and with a smile. Through my charity, let the Supernal Colors that are clothed in the money of a Jew shine forth. Let these holy colors, which are Your pride and glory, merge with one another and radiate, so as to reveal the greatness of the Blessed Creator. Be glorified, exalted and magnified through the revelation of the holy colors that will be revealed, merged and radiate through my charity, and make “garments of salvation, a coat of righteousness.”
וְתַעַזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ לָגִיל וְלָשׂוּשׂ בַּיהֹוָה, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְשָׂשׂוֹן וּלְשִׂמְחָה דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וְאֶהְיֶה בְּשִׂמְחָה תָּמִיד עַל אֲשֶׁר זִכִּיתָנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים לִהְיוֹת בִּכְלָל זֶרַע יִשְׂרָאֵל עֲבָדֶיךָ, וּלְהִתְקָרֵב לַעֲבוֹדָתֶךָ, וּלְהִתְחַבֵּר לִירֵאֶיךָ וּתְמִימֶיךָ וּלְצַדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים,
Compassionate God, help me attain holy joy, and rejoice and delight in HaShem. Let me always be happy over the fact that You have made me a Jew and drawn me close to Your service, and helped me join with pure and Godfearing people and attach myself to the true tzaddikim.
וִיקֻיַּם בִּי מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, שׂוֹשׂ אָשִׂישׂ בַּיהֹוָה תָּגֵל נַפְשִׁי בֵּאלֹהַי כִּי הִלְבִּישַׁנִי בִּגְדֵי יֶשַׁע מְעִיל צְדָקָה יְעָטָנִי. וְתַעַזְרֵנִי עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל כָּל הַקְּלִפּוֹת וְהַדִּמְיוֹנוֹת וְהַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים וְהַמְּנִיעוֹת שֶׁבְּכָל דַּרְגָּא וְדַרְגָּא, וּלְקַדֵּשׁ וּלְטַהֵר כָּל הַמַּדְרֵגוֹת מִן הַקְּלִפּוֹת, וְאֶזְכֶּה לְקַדֵּשׁ וּלְטַהֵר עַצְמִי תָמִיד וְלַעֲלוֹת בְּכָל פַּעַם חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה מִמַּדְרֵגָה לְמַדְרֵגָה עֶלְיוֹנָה הֵימֶנָּה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה גְּדוֹלָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְמַדְרֵגָה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה לְמַדְרֵגַת צַדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים:
May the verse be fulfilled in me, “I will rejoice in HaShem, my soul will delight in my God; for He has clothed me in garments of salvation, He has garbed me in a coat of righteousness.” Through this, help me break and destroy all the “husks,” fantasies, impulses, distractions and obstacles on every level. Let me purify and sanctify each new level from the “husks.” Help me sanctify and purify myself at all times, so that I will be able to rise quickly, swiftly and speedily from one level to the next in great holiness and purity, until I reach the supreme level of the true tzaddikim.
וְעָזְרֵנִי וְאַמְּצֵנִי וְחַזְּקֵנִי וְסַיְּעֵנִי, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְטַהֵר וּלְקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמִי גַם בַּמֻּתָּר לִי, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲבֹד אוֹתְךָ גַּם בְּדִבְרֵי הָרְשׁוּת, שֶׁהֵם אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה וְכַיּוֹצֵא.
Help me and give me the strength to conduct myself with purity and holiness in the realm of the permissible. Let me serve You with my eating, drinking and the like.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת שָׁלֵם בִּשְׁלֵמוּת גָּדוֹל בִּשְׁתֵּי הָעֲבוֹדוֹת, בַּעֲבוֹדָה פְּנִימִיּת שֶׁהוּא תוֹרָה וּמִצְוֹת וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, וּבַעֲבוֹדָה חִיצוֹנִיּת שֶׁהוּא אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה וּשְׁאָר צָרְכֵי הַגּוּף. וְאֶזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת קָדוֹשׁ וְטָהוֹר בִּשְׁתֵּי עֲבוֹדוֹת הָאֵלּוּ בִּשְׁלֵמוּת, וּשְׁתֵּי הָעֲבוֹדוֹת הָאֵלּוּ יִתְבָּרְרוּ וְיִזְדַּכְּכוּ בְּכָל פַּעַם בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גָּבוֹהַ בְּיוֹתֵר, עַד שֶׁיִּהְיוּ נַעֲשִׂין בְּכָל פַּעַם מֵהַחִיצוֹנִיּוּת פְּנִימִיּוּת,
May I perfect myself both in the “inner” service of Torah, mitzvot and good deeds, and in the “outer” service of eating, drinking, and satisfying my other physical needs. Let me conduct myself with perfect holiness and purity in both these forms of service. Help me reach ever higher levels of refinement and sanctity, so that the outer service will become an inner service.
עַד שֶׁתִּהְיֶה אֲכִילָתִי וּשְׁתִיָּתִי וּשְׁאָר צָרְכֵי הַגּוּף בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה בִּקְדֻשַּׁת תּוֹרָה וּמִצְוֹת. וּקְדֻשַּׁת הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְוֹת שֶׁלִּי יִזְדַּכְּכוּ בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גָּבוֹהַּ וּבִשְׁלֵמוּת גָּדוֹל בְּיוֹתֵר. וְאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲלוֹת בְּכָל פַּעַם מִדַּרְגָּא לְדַרְגָּא, וּבְכָל פַּעַם יִהְיוּ נַעֲשִׂין מֵהַחִיצוֹנִיּוּת פְּנִימִיּוּת, וְהַפְּנִימִיּוּת יַעֲלֶה לְמַעְלָה יוֹתֵר.
Then my eating, drinking and other physical activities will have the holiness of Torah and mitzvot, while my Torah and mitzvot will become even more refined, holy and complete. Let me constantly rise from level to level. Each time let my outer service become an inner service, while my inner service will become even more elevated.
וְנִזְכֶּה שֶׁכָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל יֻכְלְלוּ זֶה בָּזֶה בְּאַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה וְרֵעוּת וּבְשָׁלוֹם גָּדוֹל, עַד שֶׁכָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל יַגְבִּיהוּ וְיָרִימוּ זֶה אֶת זֶה מִמַּדְרֵגָה לְמַדְרֵגָה וּמִמַּעֲלָה לְמַעֲלָה בִּקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה,
May the entire Jewish people be merged together in great love, brotherhood, friendship and peace. May we all lift each other up and elevate each other, step by step, from level to level, in great holiness.
עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לַעֲלוֹת לְרוּם הַמַּעֲלָה הָעֶלְיוֹנָה שֶׁל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה, עַד שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לְהִכָּלֵל בְּךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, לְעוֹלְמֵי עַד וּלְנֵצַח נְצָחִים.
Then we will attain the highest summit of holiness and become merged in You, HaShem our God and God of our fathers, forever and ever.
וּתְרַחֵם עָלֵינוּ וְתִהְיֶה בְּעֶזְרֵנוּ, שֶׁנִּזְכֶּה לוֹמַר וּלְסַדֵּר לְפָנֶיךָ תּוֹרַת כָּל הַקָּרְבָּנוֹת כֻּלָּם וּקְטֹרֶת וּמְנָחוֹת בְּכַוָּנָה עֲצוּמָה וּבִקְדֻשָּׁה גְּדוֹלָה וְנוֹרָאָה,
Compassionate God, help me recite all the sacrificial portions and the passages dealing with the incense-offering with intense concentration and awesome holiness.
עַד שֶׁתַּעֲלֶה אֲמִירָתֵנוּ לְפָנֶיךָ כְּאִלּוּ הִקְרַבְנוּ כָּל הַקָּרְבָּנוֹת כֻּלָּם בְּמוֹעֲדָם וּבִזְמַנָּם וּבִמְקוֹמָם כְּהִלְכָתָן, וּנְשַׁלְּמָה פָּרִים שְׂפָתֵינוּ כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, זֹאת הַתּוֹרָה לָעוֹלָה לַמִּנְחָה וְלַחַטָּאת וְלָאָשָׁם וְלַמִּלּוּאִים וּלְזֶבַח הַשְּׁלָמִים.
Let my words rise up to You as if I had actually offered all the sacrifices in their proper time and season, in their proper place, and in full accordance with all their laws. We will pay for the bull-offerings with the words of our lips, as it is written, “This is the law of the burntoffering, the flour-offering, the sin-offering, the guilt-offering, the priests’ offering and the peace-offering.”
וְנִזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לְהַכְנִיעַ וּלְשַׁבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּל כֹּחַ הַמְדַמֶּה, לְגָרְשׁוֹ וּלְסַלְּקוֹ וּלְבַטְּלוֹ לְגַמְרֵי מֵעָלֵינוּ וּמֵעַל גְּבוּלֵנוּ. וּתְמַהֵר וְתָחִישׁ לְגָאֳלֵנוּ וְתִבְנֶה בֵּית מִקְדָּשֵׁנוּ וְתִפְאַרְתֵּנוּ, וְשָׁם נַקְרִיב לְפָנֶיךָ כָּל הַקָּרְבָּנוֹת שֶׁיְּכַפְּרוּ בַעֲדֵנוּ,
Through my recital of the sacrificial portions, let me subdue, break and destroy the force in my heart that makes me fall prey to fantasies and illusions, removing it from myself entirely. Hurry and redeem us! Rebuild our holy and glorious Temple so that we can offer all the sacrifices there as an atonement.
וְיֻחְזְרוּ לָנוּ שְׁלֹשָׁה דְבָרִים שֶׁנִּתְבַּטְּלוּ מִשֶּׁחָרַב בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ, שֶׁהֵם הַשָּׁמִיר, וְנֹפֶת צוּפִים, וַאֲמָנָה.
The three things that disappeared when the Holy Temple was destroyed will then be returned: the shamir worm that cut through stone, the dripping honey of tzufim, and amanah, enduring faith.
וְנִזְכֶּה (לַעֲלוֹת) אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה לְמַעְיָן הַחָכְמָה הַיּוֹצֵא מִבֵּית יְהֹוָה כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, וּמַעְיָן מִבֵּית יְהֹוָה יֵצֵא.
Let us be ruled by the holy intellect, and merit the fountain of wisdom that will come forth from the House of HaShem, as it is written, “A fountain will come forth from the House of HaShem.”
וְנִזְכֶּה לַעֲבֹד אוֹתְךָ תָּמִיד בְּחָכְמָה וּבִינָה וָדַעַת דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, וּבֶאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת כָּל יָמֵינוּ לְעוֹלָם, אָמֵן וְאָמֵן:
Let us serve You at all times with wisdom, understanding, holy knowledge and perfect faith — all our days and forever. Amen. Amen.