Seizing Periods of Time to Learn Torah / Touring the Torah A person should seize periods of time to learn Torah, particularly at night. He should allow nothing, whether earning a living or fulfilling other bodily needs, to distract him. If any external thoughts come to his mind, he should flee immediately into thoughts of Torah, which can nullify every type of mad and foolish spirit that clings to him as a result of his evil deeds. He should strive to tour the Torah from room to room, mansion to mansion, palace to palace, house to attic, and attic to attic, and connect all of these together. He should focus his heart on the Torah and serving God, until God opens his heart and mind’s eye, and he creates original Torah insights that will please God. Doing so is a great rectification for his soul — particularly for his bad thoughts. Even when he is sleeping, he should have original Torah thoughts in his dreams. However, he must never deceive himself that he has reached the essence of the Torah. Finding Torah Insights “Uncover my eyes and I will gaze at the wonders of Your Torah.” “Blessed are You, HaShem. Teach me Your laws.” “I told of my ways, and You answered me. Teach me Your laws.” “Remove the way of falsehood from me, and favor me with Your Torah.” “Teach me the best of reason and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments.”
“You are good and do good. Teach me Your laws.” “Deal with Your servant in accordance with Your kindness, and teach me Your laws. I am Your servant. Give me understanding, and I will know Your testimonies.” “Shine Your face upon Your servant, and teach me Your laws.”
Master of the world, You grant man knowledge. You teach Torah to Your nation, the Jewish people. You commanded us through Your true Tzaddikim to study the Torah and create original Torah thoughts.
In Your great mercy, You have had mercy on me so that I might understand a little of Your holy Torah, until I have the power to toil and find new Torah insights, as our sages stated, “[If a person says], ‘I have not found,’ do not believe [him].”
A sincere individual is obligated to strive to create original Torah thoughts. He should not be a sterile tree, Heaven forbid, but he should yield fruits of Torah. This is a great rectification for his soul.
Struggling to Learn the Torah And now, my Master, my King and my God, my Father in Heaven, what shall I say? How shall I speak? Because of my serious sins, I have grown so far from You that I do not even feel capable of seeking this.
Even in simply learning Torah, I am very careless — at times because of the pressure of earning a living, and because of many other factors. But principally, I myself am responsible for not learning Torah on many occasions when I could have seized the opportunity to learn many words of Torah.
To the extent that I fail to learn Torah, many factors come to interfere. As our sages stated, “If you have neglected Torah, many distracting factors will arise against you.”
Now, how can I merit to strive to seek You, to rectify all this, until I learn Torah, studying day and night, and not have recourse to false excuses, and not deceive myself?
In the end, what will become of me? What will I reply on the day of judgment when I am asked, “Did you engage in learning wisdom? Did you look toward the Divine Chariot?” With what sort of appearance will I rise before the King?
In particular, I know that I have damaged a great deal with my evil deeds, my lowly thoughts and my evil traits. And I have still not repented of my errors.
The depths of the sea wash over me constantly. I am immersed in the deep mire with no way of standing, to the point that I have no idea where I am in the world, and I turn back and forth, confused and torn.
My soul and heart cry out within me in a bitter and strong voice: “How long, foolish people, will you love foolishness?” How much longer, lazy one, will you lie down? When will you arise from your sleep? How much longer?
A Strong Resolve Therefore, I have resolved that as long as my soul is within me, I will yearn, cry out, cast myself down and plead before Your great compassion and kindness. Perhaps now I will be able to speak some words of truth before You.
May I direct Your true compassion toward me, so that You will treat me in accordance with Your kindness and help me, save me, guide me and teach me ways and true counsel every day and every moment on how to truly return to Your Torah.
May I dedicate myself to Your holy Torah and study it day and night. May no distractions and business, whether earning a living or fulfilling other bodily needs, distract me.
In Your compassion, help me learn a great deal every day. May I focus my entire heart on the Torah and on serving You, until in Your compassion You will open my heart to Your Torah, and my mind’s eye will be opened to perceive holiness and purity. Then I will create original Torah insights, true insights that will please You and give You what You desire, which I will set before Your throne of glory.
May such insights provide great rectification for my soul, rectifying everything that I damaged with my many sins from the beginning of my existence until this day.
From now on, at every moment, may my mind and my thoughts be attached to the Torah day and night — when I am at home and when I am traveling, when I lie down and when I arise, when I am asleep and when I am awake, when I am with people and when I am alone.
In Your compassion, help me so that my thoughts will always be attached to Your Torah with a firm and strong connection, to the point that even when I am with people, my inner thoughts will be attached to Your holy Torah, and I will never forget it even for a single instant.
May my thoughts cling so strongly to the holy Torah that even while I am sleeping, I will have true, original Torah thoughts in my dreams. As a result, I will expel and nullify all evil thoughts, ideas and musings, as well as every type of mad and foolish spirit that has clung to my heart and mind as a result of my evil deeds from my birth to this day.
I will achieve all this by having thoughts of Torah, and I will connect myself to the Torah with a constant, firm and strong bond, without any weakness.
From the dark depths of the sea and the deep mire, I will flee to the light of life, to thoughts and musings on the holy Torah, which are our life and the length of our days, until in Your vast compassion You will open the pathways of my intellect and I will enter into the chambers of the holy Torah.
In All the Rooms of the Torah May I enter and tour Your holy Torah from room to room, from mansion to mansion, from palace to palace, from house to attic, and from attic to attic, and connect, combine and blend all of the rooms and palaces firmly. As a result, may I recognize and know the truth of Your Godliness.
In Your kindness, give me as a complete gift all the words of Your holy Torah, with all of its rooms and palaces, so that it will literally be called my Torah. May the verse be realized in me, “In the Torah of HaShem is [a person’s] desire, and [then] he studies day and night his [own] Torah.”
You Who are filled with compassion, have compassion on me and accept my plea, for I have come before You not [daring to seek Your] kindness, nor [claiming the merit of] my own good deeds, because I do not have any excuse to seek the slightest good, and certainly not such great things.
But it is revealed and known to You Who know secrets that I must say all these words, because, as I have heard from our holy rabbis, Your kindness “has not ceased, for Your compassion has not been exhausted.”
One Never Reaches the Essence of the Torah Therefore, have compassion on me, You Who are filled with compassion, so that even when I create true, original thoughts in Your holy Torah, I will not deceive myself that I have reached its essence and entered into its inner being.
May I always understand and know how far I am from the truth of its inner being. “One higher than the high, watches.” There is level within level. As the verse states, “Of every finite being have I seen an end, [but] Your commandment is very broad.” Just as Your greatness has no end, so too, there is no end to the understanding of the Torah, which is Your Oneness.
Even when I attain true Torah insights, give me the strength to strive, seek, toil and search ever more, to analyze, infer and study Your holy Torah with a true eye, with all my heart and soul, with true dedication.
At every moment, please open its gates and inner rooms for me more and more, so that I will understand and attain the truth of the inner aspect of the Torah, which is in truth the level of the man of holiness. As the verse states, “This is the Torah — a man.”
May the image of God be drawn upon me completely. May I be absorbed into the supernal man completely, until I truly recognize and comprehend You, in accordance with Your good will and with the will of Your true Tzaddikim, because it is for this that I was created.
Have compassion on me, You Who are filled with compassion. Bring me back to You quickly in complete repentance, and give me my portion in Your Torah. I plead before You not because I am righteous, but because I rely on Your vast compassion.
In the power and merit of the great, true Tzaddikim, our holy rabbis, whose power suffices for even someone like me, as I am, liberate me and purify me of all my contamination very soon. You who are filled with compassion, help me attain all that I seek from You in this lifetime.
[עַל־פִּי תּוֹרָה רמ"ה - דַּע שֶׁיֵּשׁ חַדְרֵי תּוֹרָה]
גַּל עֵינַי וְאַבִּיטָה נִפְלָאוֹת מִתּוֹרָתֶךָ. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְהֹוָה לַמְּדֵנִי חֻקֶּיךָ. דְּרָכַי סִפַּרְתִּי וַתַּעֲנֵנִי לַמְּדֵנִי חֻקֶּיךָ. דֶּרֶךְ שֶׁקֶר הָסֵר מִמֶּנִּי וְתוֹרָתְךָ חָנֵּנִי. טוּב טַעַם וָדַעַת לַמְּדֵנִי כִּי בְמִצְוֹתֶיךָ הֶאֱמָנְתִּי.
Seizing Periods of Time to Learn Torah / Touring the Torah
A person should seize periods of time to learn Torah, particularly at night. He should allow nothing, whether earning a living or fulfilling other bodily needs, to distract him.
If any external thoughts come to his mind, he should flee immediately into thoughts of Torah, which can nullify every type of mad and foolish spirit that clings to him as a result of his evil deeds.
He should strive to tour the Torah from room to room, mansion to mansion, palace to palace, house to attic, and attic to attic, and connect all of these together.
He should focus his heart on the Torah and serving God, until God opens his heart and mind’s eye, and he creates original Torah insights that will please God. Doing so is a great rectification for his soul — particularly for his bad thoughts. Even when he is sleeping, he should have original Torah thoughts in his dreams.
However, he must never deceive himself that he has reached the essence of the Torah.
Finding Torah Insights
“Uncover my eyes and I will gaze at the wonders of Your Torah.” “Blessed are You, HaShem. Teach me Your laws.” “I told of my ways, and You answered me. Teach me Your laws.” “Remove the way of falsehood from me, and favor me with Your Torah.” “Teach me the best of reason and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments.”
טוֹב אַתָּה וּמֵטִיב לַמְּדֵנִי חֻקֶּיךָ. עֲשֵׂה עִם עַבְדְּךָ כְחַסְדֶּךָ וְחֻקֶּיךָ לַמְּדֵנִי. עַבְדְּךָ אָנִי הֲבִינֵנִי וְאֵדְעָה עֵדֹתֶיךָ. פָּנֶיךָ הָאֵר בְּעַבְדֶּךָ וְלַמְּדֵנִי אֶת חֻקֶּיךָ.
“You are good and do good. Teach me Your laws.” “Deal with Your servant in accordance with Your kindness, and teach me Your laws. I am Your servant. Give me understanding, and I will know Your testimonies.” “Shine Your face upon Your servant, and teach me Your laws.”
רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, חוֹנֵן לָאָדָם דַּעַת, הַמְלַמֵּד תּוֹרָה לְעַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל, אַתָּה צִוִּיתָנוּ עַל־יְדֵי צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים לְעַיֵּן בַּתּוֹרָה וּלְחַדֵּשׁ בָּהּ,
Master of the world, You grant man knowledge. You teach Torah to Your nation, the Jewish people. You commanded us through Your true Tzaddikim to study the Torah and create original Torah thoughts.
וּבְחֶמְלָתְךָ הַגְּדוֹלָה חָמַלְתָּ עָלַי לְהָבִין מְעַט בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, עַד אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ בְּכֹחִי לְהִתְיַגֵּעַ, עַד שֶׁאֶמְצָא חִדּוּשֵׁי תוֹרָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, יָגַעְתִּי וְלֹא מָצָאתִי אַל תַּאֲמִין.
In Your great mercy, You have had mercy on me so that I might understand a little of Your holy Torah, until I have the power to toil and find new Torah insights, as our sages stated, “[If a person says], ‘I have not found,’ do not believe [him].”
וְכַאֲשֶׁר שָׁמַעְתִּי וְרָאִיתִי כְּבָר כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה אֲנָשִׁים כְּעֶרְכִּי, שֶׁזָכוּ עַל־יְדֵי יְגִיעָתָם, לְחִדּוּשֵׁי תוֹרָה הַרְבֵּה,
I have heard of and seen a number of people on my level, who as a result of their toil have created many original Torah insights.
כִּי הוּא חוֹבָה עַל בֶּן תּוֹרָה לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל וּלְהִתְיַגֵּעַ בָּזֶה, עַד שֶׁיִּמְצָא חִדּוּשֵׁי תוֹרָה, וְלֹא יִהְיֶה עֵץ יָבֵשׁ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, רַק יַעֲשֶׂה פֵּרוֹת בַּתּוֹרָה שֶׁהוּא תִקּוּן גָּדוֹל לְנַפְשׁוֹ,
A sincere individual is obligated to strive to create original Torah thoughts. He should not be a sterile tree, Heaven forbid, but he should yield fruits of Torah. This is a great rectification for his soul.
וְעַתָּה אֲדוֹנִי, מַלְכִּי וֵאלֹהָי, אָבִי שֶׁבַּשָּׁמַיִם, מָה אוֹמַר וּמָה אֲדַבֵּר, אַחַר שֶׁבַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָעֲצוּמִים נִתְרַחַקְתִּי מִמְּךָ כָּל־כָּךְ, עַד שֶׁאֲנִי רָחוֹק בְעֵינַי אֲפִלּוּ מִלְּבַקֵּשׁ עַל זֶה,
Struggling to Learn the Torah
And now, my Master, my King and my God, my Father in Heaven, what shall I say? How shall I speak? Because of my serious sins, I have grown so far from You that I do not even feel capable of seeking this.
וְגַם אֲנִי מִתְרַשֵּׁל הַרְבֵּה אֲפִלּוּ בְּעֵסֶק הַתּוֹרָה בִּפְשִׁיטוּת לִפְעָמִים מֵחֲמַת אֹנֶס מִטִּרְדַּת הַפַּרְנָסָה וּמֵרִבּוּי הַבִּטּוּלִים הַמְבַטְּלִין, וְעַל־פִּי־רֹב אֲנִי חַיָּב בְּעַצְמִי, מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מִתְבַּטֵּל מִדִּבְרֵי תוֹרָה בְּעִתִּים הַרְבֵּה שֶׁאֲנִי יָכוֹל לַחֲטֹף בָּהֶם דִּבְרֵי־תוֹרָה הַרְבֵּה.
Even in simply learning Torah, I am very careless — at times because of the pressure of earning a living, and because of many other factors. But principally, I myself am responsible for not learning Torah on many occasions when I could have seized the opportunity to learn many words of Torah.
וְכָל מַה שֶּׁאֲנִי מִתְבַּטֵּל מֵהַתּוֹרָה נִמְצָאִים כְּנֶגְדִּי בִּטּוּלִים הַרְבֵּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, אִם בִּטַּלְתָּ מִן הַתּוֹרָה יֵשׁ לְךָ בְּטֵלִים הַרְבֵּה כְּנֶגְדָּךְ.
To the extent that I fail to learn Torah, many factors come to interfere. As our sages stated, “If you have neglected Torah, many distracting factors will arise against you.”
עַתָּה אֵיךְ זוֹכִין לַחְתֹּר חֲתִירָה לְבַקֵּשׁ אוֹתְךָ לְתַקֵּן כָּל זֶה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לַעֲסֹק בַּתּוֹרָה בֶּאֱמֶת וְלַהֲגוֹת בָּהּ יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה, וְלֹא אֶפְטֹר אֶת עַצְמִי בְּתֵרוּצִים שֶׁל שֶׁקֶר, וְלֹא אַטְעֶה אֶת עַצְמִי,
Now, how can I merit to strive to seek You, to rectify all this, until I learn Torah, studying day and night, and not have recourse to false excuses, and not deceive myself?
כִּי סוֹף כָּל סוֹף מַה יִּהְיֶה מִמֶּנִּי, וּמָה אָשִׁיב בְּיוֹם הַדִּין כְּשֶׁיִּשְׁאֲלוּ אוֹתִי, פִּלְפַּלְתָּ בַּחָכְמָה, צָפִיתָ בַּמֶּרְכָּבָה, בְּהָאֵיךְ אַנְפִּין אֵיעוּל קָדָם מַלְכָּא,
In the end, what will become of me? What will I reply on the day of judgment when I am asked, “Did you engage in learning wisdom? Did you look toward the Divine Chariot?” With what sort of appearance will I rise before the King?
בִּפְרָט שֶׁאֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ בְּנַפְשִׁי, אֲשֶׁר קִלְקַלְתִּי הַרְבֵּה הַרְבֵּה עַל־יְדֵי מַעֲשַׂי הָרָעִים וּמַחְשְׁבוֹתַי הַמְגֻנּוֹת וּמִדּוֹתַי הָרָעוֹת, וַעֲדַיִן לֹא שַׁבְתִּי מִטָּעוּתִי,
In particular, I know that I have damaged a great deal with my evil deeds, my lowly thoughts and my evil traits. And I have still not repented of my errors.
וְהַמְּצוּלוֹת יָם שׁוֹטְפִים עָלַי בְּכָל עֵת, וַאֲנִי מֻטְבָּע בִּיוֵן מְצוּלָה וְאֵין מָעֳמָד, עַד אֲשֶׁר אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ כְּלָל הֵיכָן אֲנִי בָּעוֹלָם, וַאֲנִי הוֹלֵךְ נָע וָנָד מְבֻלְבָּל וּמְטֹרָף מְאֹד.
The depths of the sea wash over me constantly. I am immersed in the deep mire with no way of standing, to the point that I have no idea where I am in the world, and I turn back and forth, confused and torn.
וְאַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן נַפְשִׁי וְלִבִּי צוֹעֲקִים בְּקִרְבִּי בְּקוֹל מַר וְחָזָק, עַד מָתַי פְּתָיִם תְּאֵהֲבוּ פֶתִי. עַד מָתַי עָצֵל תִּשְׁכָּב מָתַי תָּקוּם מִשְּׁנָתֶךָ, עַד מָתַי, עַד מָתָי.
My soul and heart cry out within me in a bitter and strong voice: “How long, foolish people, will you love foolishness?” How much longer, lazy one, will you lie down? When will you arise from your sleep? How much longer?
עַל־כֵּן אָמַרְתִּי כָּל עוֹד נִשְׁמָתִי בִּי, אֶעֱרֹג וְאֶזְעַק וְאֶתְנַפֵּל וְאֶתְחַנֵּן מוּל רַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים וַחֲסָדֶיךָ הָעֲצוּמִים, אוּלַי אֶזְכֶּה עַתָּה לְדַבֵּר דִּבְרֵי אֱמֶת לְפָנֶיךָ,
A Strong Resolve
Therefore, I have resolved that as long as my soul is within me, I will yearn, cry out, cast myself down and plead before Your great compassion and kindness. Perhaps now I will be able to speak some words of truth before You.
עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְעוֹרֵר רַחֲמֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים עָלַי, עַד שֶׁתַּעֲשֶׂה עִמִּי כַּחֲסָדֶיךָ, וְתַעַזְרֵנִי וְתוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְתוֹרֵנִי וּתְלַמְּדֵנִי דְרָכִים וְעֵצוֹת אֲמִתִּיּוֹת בְּכָל יוֹם וּבְכָל עֵת וּבְכָל שָׁעָה, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאָשׁוּב לְתוֹרָתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת,
May I direct Your true compassion toward me, so that You will treat me in accordance with Your kindness and help me, save me, guide me and teach me ways and true counsel every day and every moment on how to truly return to Your Torah.
שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַתְמִיד בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וְלַהֲגוֹת בָּהּ יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה, וְאַל יַטְרִידֵנִי שׁוּם טִרְדָּא וְעֵסֶק, הֵן עִסְקֵי הַפַּרְנָסָה, הֵן שְׁאָר צָרְכֵי הַגּוּף,
May I dedicate myself to Your holy Torah and study it day and night. May no distractions and business, whether earning a living or fulfilling other bodily needs, distract me.
רַק אֶשְׁתַּדֵּל בְּכָל עֹז לַחֲטֹף עִתִּים וּזְמַנִּים מִתּוֹךְ כָּל הַטִּרְדּוֹת וְהָעֲסָקִים, וּבִפְרָט בַּלַּיְלָה.
May I strive with all my might to seize periods of time from all my distractions and affairs — particularly at night.
וְאַתָּה תַעַזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ, בְּאֹפֶן שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לִלְמֹד הַרְבֵּה בְּכָל יוֹם, וְאֶזְכֶּה לָשׂוּם כָּל לִבִּי עַל הַתּוֹרָה וְעַל הָעֲבוֹדָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ, שֶׁתִּפְתַּח לִבִּי בְּתוֹרָתֶךָ וְיֻפְקְחוּ עֵינֵי שִׂכְלִי בִּקְדֻשָּׁה וּבְטָהֳרָה, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְחַדֵּשׁ בְּתוֹרָתְךָ חִדּוּשִׁים אֲמִתִּיִּים בְּכָל עֵת שֶׁיִּהְיוּ לְנַחַת וּלְרָצוֹן לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ,
In Your compassion, help me learn a great deal every day. May I focus my entire heart on the Torah and on serving You, until in Your compassion You will open my heart to Your Torah, and my mind’s eye will be opened to perceive holiness and purity. Then I will create original Torah insights, true insights that will please You and give You what You desire, which I will set before Your throne of glory.
וְיִהְיוּ תִקּוּן גָּדוֹל לְנַפְשִׁי וְרוּחִי וְנִשְׁמָתִי, שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן עַל־יָדָם כָּל מַה שֶּׁפָּגַמְתִּי בַּעֲוֹנוֹתַי הָרַבִּים מֵעוֹדִי וְעַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה,
May such insights provide great rectification for my soul, rectifying everything that I damaged with my many sins from the beginning of my existence until this day.
וּבִפְרָט פְּגָם הַמַּחֲשָׁבוֹת וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים שֶׁפָּגַמְתִּי בָּהֶם הַרְבֵּה, אֶזְכֶּה לְתַקֵּן עַל־יְדֵי הִרְהוּרֵי תוֹרָה,
In particular, with my thoughts of Torah, may I rectify the flaw of bad thoughts, with which I caused many blemishes.
שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה מֵעַתָּה שֶׁיִּהְיֶה כָּל הַיּוֹם דַּעְתִּי וּמַחֲשַׁבְתִּי דְבוּקִים בְּהִרְהוּרֵי תוֹרָה בְּכָל־עֵת בַּיּוֹם וּבַלַּיְלָה, בְּשִׁבְתִּי בְּבֵיתִי וּבְלֶכְתִּי בַדֶּרֶךְ, בְּשָׁכְבִי וּבְקוּמִי, בִּשְׁנָתִי וּבְהָקִיצִי, בְּעִסְקִי עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם וּבִישִׁיבָתִי לְבַדִּי:
From now on, at every moment, may my mind and my thoughts be attached to the Torah day and night — when I am at home and when I am traveling, when I lie down and when I arise, when I am asleep and when I am awake, when I am with people and when I am alone.
וְעָזְרֵנִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ, שֶׁתְּהֵא דְבוּקָה מַחֲשַׁבְתִּי בְּתוֹרָתְךָ תָמִיד בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק, עַד שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ בְּעֵת שֶׁאֶתְחַבֵּר עִם בְּנֵי אָדָם תִּהְיֶה מַחֲשַׁבְתִּי בִּפְנִימִיּוּתָהּ דְּבוּקָה בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, וְלֹא אֶשְׁכַּח אוֹתָהּ לְעוֹלָם אֲפִלּוּ לְפִי שָׁעָה קַלָּה.
In Your compassion, help me so that my thoughts will always be attached to Your Torah with a firm and strong connection, to the point that even when I am with people, my inner thoughts will be attached to Your holy Torah, and I will never forget it even for a single instant.
וְתִהְיֶה מַחֲשַׁבְתִּי דְבוּקָה כָּל־כָּךְ בְּהַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, עַד שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ בִּשְׁעַת שֵׁנָה יִהְיוּ עוֹבְרִים עָלַי בַּחֲלוֹם, מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל חִדּוּשֵׁי תוֹרָה אֲמִתִּיִּים, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה לְגָרֵשׁ וּלְבַטֵּל מִמֶּנִּי כָּל הַמַּחֲשָׁבוֹת רָעוֹת וְכָל הָרַעְיוֹנִים וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים, וְכָל מִינֵי שִׁגָּעוֹן וְרוּחַ שְׁטוּת, שֶׁנִּדְבְּקוּ בְּלִבִּי וְדַעְתִּי עַל־יְדֵי מַעֲשַׂי הָרָעִים מֵעוֹדִי וְעַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה,
May my thoughts cling so strongly to the holy Torah that even while I am sleeping, I will have true, original Torah thoughts in my dreams. As a result, I will expel and nullify all evil thoughts, ideas and musings, as well as every type of mad and foolish spirit that has clung to my heart and mind as a result of my evil deeds from my birth to this day.
הַכֹּל אֶזְכֶּה לְבַטֵּל עַל־יְדֵי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל תּוֹרָה שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְקַשֵּׁר עַצְמִי בָּהּ בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק תָּמִיד בְּלִי שׁוּם רִפְיוֹן.
I will achieve all this by having thoughts of Torah, and I will connect myself to the Torah with a constant, firm and strong bond, without any weakness.
וְתֵכֶף שֶׁיָּבוֹא עַל דַּעְתִּי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם אֵיזֶה מַחֲשָׁבָה חִיצוֹנָה, מִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן אֵיזֶה הִרְהוּר רַע חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֶבְרַח מִיָּד מִמֶּנּוּ, וְאָנוּס לְתוֹךְ מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל תּוֹרָה,
As soon as any external thought comes to my mind — and certainly any evil musing, Heaven forbid — may I immediately flee into thoughts of Torah.
וּמֵעֹמֶק חֶשְׁכַּת מְצוּלוֹת־יָם וְטִיט הַיָּוֵן אֶבְרַח לְאוֹר הַחַיִּים, לְמַחֲשָׁבוֹת וְהִרְהוּרֵי תוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה, אֲשֶׁר הֵם חַיֵּינוּ וְאֹרֶךְ יָמֵינוּ, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, שֶׁתִּפְתַּח לִי שְׁבִילֵי הַשֵּׂכֶל, עַד שֶׁאֶכָּנֵס בְּחַדְרֵי הַתּוֹרָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה,
From the dark depths of the sea and the deep mire, I will flee to the light of life, to thoughts and musings on the holy Torah, which are our life and the length of our days, until in Your vast compassion You will open the pathways of my intellect and I will enter into the chambers of the holy Torah.
וְאֶזְכֶּה לִכְנֹס וּלְטַיֵּל בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה מֵחֶדֶר לְחֶדֶר וּמִפַּלָטִין לְפַלָטִין וּמֵהֵיכָל לְהֵיכָל וּמִבַּיִת לַעֲלִיָּה וּמֵעֲלִיָּה לַעֲלִיָּה, וּלְקַשֵּׁר וּלְחַבֵּר וּלְיַחֵד וְלִכְלֹל כָּל הַחֲדָרִים וְהֵיכָלוֹת יַחַד בְּקֶשֶׁר אַמִּיץ וְחָזָק, וּלְהַכִּיר וּלְהַשִּׂיג יְדִיעַת אֲמִתַּת אֱלָהוּתְךָ עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה,
In All the Rooms of the Torah
May I enter and tour Your holy Torah from room to room, from mansion to mansion, from palace to palace, from house to attic, and from attic to attic, and connect, combine and blend all of the rooms and palaces firmly. As a result, may I recognize and know the truth of Your Godliness.
עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה שֶׁתִּתֶּן לִי בַּחֲסָדֶיךָ בְּמַתָּנָה גְמוּרָה, אֶת כָּל דִּבְרֵי תוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה עִם כָּל חֲדָרֶיהָ וְהֵיכָלֶיהָ, שֶׁתִּהְיֶה נִקְרֵאת תּוֹרָתִי מַמָּשׁ. וִיקֻיַּם בִּי מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב, כִּי אִם בְּתוֹרַת יְהֹוָה חֶפְצוֹ וּבְתוֹרָתוֹ יֶהְגֶּה יוֹמָם וָלָיְלָה:
In Your kindness, give me as a complete gift all the words of Your holy Torah, with all of its rooms and palaces, so that it will literally be called my Torah. May the verse be realized in me, “In the Torah of HaShem is [a person’s] desire, and [then] he studies day and night his [own] Torah.”
מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, רַחֵם עָלַי וְקַבֵּל תַּחֲנוּנָי, כִּי לֹא בְּחֶסֶד וְלֹא בְמַעֲשִׂים בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ, כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת אֵין לִי עַתָּה שׁוּם פִּתְחוֹן פֶּה לְבַקֵּשׁ עַל דָּבָר קַל שֶׁבַּקַּלִּים, מִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן עַל גְּדוֹלוֹת כָּאֵלֶּה.
You Who are filled with compassion, have compassion on me and accept my plea, for I have come before You not [daring to seek Your] kindness, nor [claiming the merit of] my own good deeds, because I do not have any excuse to seek the slightest good, and certainly not such great things.
אַךְ גָּלוּי וְיָדוּעַ לְפָנֶיךָ יוֹדֵעַ תַּעֲלוּמוֹת, שֶׁאֲנִי מְחֻיָּב וּמֻכְרָח לְדַבֵּר כָּל זֶה עַל פִּי כָּל מַה שֶּׁשָּׁמַעְתִּי מֵרַבּוֹתֵינוּ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, כִּי חֲסָדֶיךָ לֹא תָמְנוּ וְרַחֲמֶיךָ לֹא כָלִים לְעוֹלָם.
But it is revealed and known to You Who know secrets that I must say all these words, because, as I have heard from our holy rabbis, Your kindness “has not ceased, for Your compassion has not been exhausted.”
וּבְכֵן תְּרַחֵם עָלַי מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ בְּעֵת שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ לְחַדֵּשׁ חִדּוּשִׁים אֲמִתִּיִּים בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה. שֶׁלֹּא אֶטְעֶה בְּנַפְשִׁי לוֹמַר שֶׁכְּבָר בָּאתִי עַד תְּכוּנָתָהּ וּכְבָר נִכְנַסְתִּי לִפְנִימִיוּתֶיהָ,
One Never Reaches the Essence of the Torah
Therefore, have compassion on me, You Who are filled with compassion, so that even when I create true, original thoughts in Your holy Torah, I will not deceive myself that I have reached its essence and entered into its inner being.
רַק אֶזְכֶּה לְהָבִין וְלֵידַע תָּמִיד כַּמָּה אֲנִי רָחוֹק מֵאֲמִתַּת פְּנִימִיוּתֶיהָ, כִּי גָבוֹהַּ מֵעַל גָּבוֹהַּ שׁוֹמֵר וְכוּ', וְיֵשׁ פָּנִים לַפָּנִים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, לְכָל תִּכְלָה רָאִיתִי קֵץ רְחָבָה מִצְוָתְךָ מְאֹד. וְכַאֲשֶׁר לִגְדֻלָּתְךָ אֵין חֵקֶר, כָּךְ אֵין חֵקֶר לִתְבוּנוֹת הַתּוֹרָה שֶׁהוּא אַחְדּוּתֶךָ,
May I always understand and know how far I am from the truth of its inner being. “One higher than the high, watches.” There is level within level. As the verse states, “Of every finite being have I seen an end, [but] Your commandment is very broad.” Just as Your greatness has no end, so too, there is no end to the understanding of the Torah, which is Your Oneness.
וַאֲפִלּוּ כְּשֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַשִּׂיג הַשָּׂגוֹת שֶׁל אֱמֶת, תְּחַזְּקֵנִי לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל וְלַחְתֹּר וּלְהִתְיַגֵּעַ וּלְחַפֵּשׂ וּלְבַקֵּשׁ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר לְסַלְסֵל וּלְפַלְפֵּל, וּלְעַיֵּן בְּעַיִן אֲמִתִּי בְּתוֹרָתְךָ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה בְּכָל לֵב וָנֶפֶשׁ בִּמְסִירוּת נַפְשִׁי בֶּאֱמֶת,
Even when I attain true Torah insights, give me the strength to strive, seek, toil and search ever more, to analyze, infer and study Your holy Torah with a true eye, with all my heart and soul, with true dedication.
עַד שֶׁתִּפְתַּח לִי בְּכָל עֵת שְׁעָרֶיהָ וּפְנִימִיּוּת חֲדָרֶיהָ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר, לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל וּלְהַשִּׂיג אֲמִתַּת פְּנִימִיּוּת הַתּוֹרָה שֶׁהוּא בְּחִינַת אָדָם דִּקְדֻשָּׁה בֶּאֱמֶת, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב, זֹאת הַתּוֹרָה אָדָם,
At every moment, please open its gates and inner rooms for me more and more, so that I will understand and attain the truth of the inner aspect of the Torah, which is in truth the level of the man of holiness. As the verse states, “This is the Torah — a man.”
עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נִמְשָׁךְ עָלַי הַצֶּלֶם אֱלֹהִים בִּשְׁלֵמוּת, וְאֶהְיֶה נִכְלָל בָּאָדָם הָעֶלְיוֹן בְּתַכְלִית הַשְּׁלֵמוּת בֶּאֱמֶת, עַד שֶׁאֶזְכֶּה לְהַכִּיר וּלְהַשִּׂיג אוֹתְךָ בֶּאֱמֶת כִּרְצוֹנְךָ הַטּוֹב וְכִרְצוֹן צַדִּיקֶיךָ הָאֲמִתִּיִּים, כִּי לְכָךְ נוֹצָרְתִּי.
May the image of God be drawn upon me completely. May I be absorbed into the supernal man completely, until I truly recognize and comprehend You, in accordance with Your good will and with the will of Your true Tzaddikim, because it is for this that I was created.
רַחֵם עָלַי מָלֵא רַחֲמִים, וְהַחֲזִירֵנִי בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶיךָ מְהֵרָה, וְתֵן חֶלְקִי בְּתוֹרָתֶךָ, כִּי לֹא עַל צִדְקוֹתַי אֲנִי מַפִּיל תְּחִנָּתִי לְפָנֶיךָ כִּי עַל רַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים,
Have compassion on me, You Who are filled with compassion. Bring me back to You quickly in complete repentance, and give me my portion in Your Torah. I plead before You not because I am righteous, but because I rely on Your vast compassion.
בְּכֹחַ וּזְכוּת גְּדוֹלֵי הַצַּדִּיקִים הָאֲמִתִּיִּים רַבּוֹתֵינוּ הַקְּדוֹשִׁים, זְכוּתָם יָגֵן עָלֵינוּ, אֲשֶׁר כֹּחָם יַסְפִּיק גַּם עָלַי כְּמוֹ שֶׁאֲנִי, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאֲנִי, לְהוֹצִיאֵנִי וּלְטַהֲרֵנִי מִכָּל טֻמְאוֹתַי מְהֵרָה מְהֵרָה, וּלְזַכּוֹתֵנִי בְּחַיַּי לְכָל מַה שֶּׁבִּקַּשְׁתִּי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים.
In the power and merit of the great, true Tzaddikim, our holy rabbis, whose power suffices for even someone like me, as I am, liberate me and purify me of all my contamination very soon. You who are filled with compassion, help me attain all that I seek from You in this lifetime.
וַאֲנִי תָּמִיד אֲיַחֵל וְהוֹסַפְתִּי עַל כָּל תְּהִלָּתֶךָ. תַּבַּעְנָה שְׂפָתַי תְּהִלָּה כִּי תְלַמְּדֵנִי חֻקֶּיךָ.
“I will constantly hope and add to all Your praise.” “My lips will express praise when You will teach me Your rules.”
יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי־פִי וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי לְפָנֶיךָ יְהֹוָה צוּרִי וְגוֹאֲלִי. אָמֵן:
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You, HaShem, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Amen.