There is a great difference in the sin a person commits, God forbid, whether he is stirred immediately to repentance, in which case it is easy for him to return to his place, since he has not yet moved far from the good road. The reason is that when someone commits a sin, God forbid, he then turns from the straight road to another path, which is crooked. That road leads into a number of other paths and roads that are particularly misleading and tortuous, such that when people start to go on that evil road, God forbid, they stray and get so confused on these [other] roads that it is difficult to return and get out from there.
But God’s way is to call to the person immediately when He sees him straying from the way of the intellect. He calls to him to turn back. And [God] calls to each person according to his aspect. To one He calls with a hint, and to another with an actual call. There is also one whom He tramples down and punishes, and that is his call. For the Torah calls to them, “Fools, how long will you love being misled?” (Proverbs 1:22). And the Torah is God Himself, Who calls to them and seeks them, that they should return to Him.
Therefore, if one has not yet strayed far from the straight road it is easier for him to return, since he still recognizes the voice and is familiar with it; for it was not so long ago that he was with God and heard His voice, the voice of the Torah. He has not yet forgotten the voice or strayed far along these other misleading and confusing roads. Therefore, he can easily repent.
This is analogous to a shepherd who, when one sheep strays from the road, he immediately calls to it. If the sheep has as yet not strayed far from the road, it will recognize the voice and immediately follow it. However, if it has already strayed far from the road, then it will have already forgotten the voice and no longer recognize it. Furthermore, the shepherd will despair looking for [the sheep], since it has been so long that it has strayed from him. Similarly, when one has been wicked for a long time, God forbid, and turned and strayed greatly from the straight path to these other tortuous, misleading, confusing and befuddling roads, then it is difficult for him to repent, as explained above.
Know, too, that when a person strays greatly on these tortuous and misleading roads, God forbid, it is occasionally possible that he will stray so far and go on these confusing roads [for so long], that precisely because he has strayed so greatly, he will turn around and go back, until he is close to his starting point; there will be only a short distance separating him from his starting point. And then, easily, by means of an easy test, he can again return to his place. Yet when the Holy One calls him and arranges the test for him, he does not recognize the voice and gives no heed to returning to his place.
This is the difference between a younger and an older person. For someone who is still young, who has as yet not grown old in his sins, is more likely to repent than an older person, because he is still close and has not forgotten the voice that calls.
And this is the explanation of [the opening verse]: {“I have strayed like a lost sheep; bakesh (seek out) Your servant for I have not forgotten Your commandments.”}I strayed like a lost sheep—That is, I strayed from the straight road, like a lost sheep that has gone off the road, as explained above. Therefore, I ask of You:
bakesh Your servant, for I have not forgotten Your commandments—That is, hurry and seek me while I still remember the voice that calls, of the Torah and mitzvot.
This is: “Bakesh Your servant, for I have not forgotten Your mitzvot”—hurry, seek me immediately, for I have as yet not forgotten Your mitzvot and I still recognize the voice that calls, of the mitzvot, which are the Torah. Therefore, my BaKaShah (request) is that You have pity on me to BaKeSh me quickly, immediately, while I still have not forgotten Your mitzvot—i.e., I still recognize the voice of the Torah and mitzvot that calls.
For if, God forbid, a person grows old in sin, it is very hard to seek him. This is because he has already forgotten the voice of the Torah and mitzvot, and does not recognize the voice that calls. Therefore, a person must request of the Holy One that He hurry and seek him, to bring him back to Him while he has as yet not completely forgotten the voice of the Torah and the mitzvot, as explained above.
תָּעִיתִי כְּשֶׂה אֹבֵד בַּקֵּשׁ עַבְדֶּךָ וְכוּ' (תהילים קי״ט:קע״ו):
“Taiti K’seh Ovaid (I have strayed like a lost sheep); seek out Your servant [for I have not forgotten Your commandments].” (Psalms 119:176)
כִּי יֵשׁ חִלּוּק גָּדוֹל בַּעֲבֵרָה שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה הָאָדָם, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בֵּין אִם נִתְעוֹרֵר תֵּכֶף וּמִיָּד וְשָׁב בִּתְשׁוּבָה, אֲזַי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ בְּקַל לַחֲזֹר לִמְקוֹמוֹ, כִּי עֲדַיִן לֹא נִתְרַחֵק הַרְבֵּה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ הַטּוֹב. כִּי כְּשֶׁעוֹשֶׂה עֲבֵרָה, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֲזַי הוֹלֵךְ וְנוֹטֶה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ הַיָּשָׁר אֶל דֶּרֶךְ אַחֵר מְקֻלְקָל, וְשָׁם יוֹצְאִים מֵאוֹתוֹ הַדֶּרֶךְ כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה נְתִיבוֹת וּדְרָכִים תּוֹעִים וּמְקֻלְקָלִים מְאֹד, שֶׁכְּשֶׁמַּתְחִילִין לֵילֵךְ, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בְּאוֹתוֹ הַדֶּרֶךְ הָרָע, אֲזַי תּוֹעִים וּנְבוֹכִים בְּאֵלּוּ הַדְּרָכִים עַד שֶׁקָּשֶׁה לָשׁוּב וְלָצֵאת מִשָּׁם,
There is a great difference in the sin a person commits, God forbid, whether he is stirred immediately to repentance, in which case it is easy for him to return to his place, since he has not yet moved far from the good road. The reason is that when someone commits a sin, God forbid, he then turns from the straight road to another path, which is crooked. That road leads into a number of other paths and roads that are particularly misleading and tortuous, such that when people start to go on that evil road, God forbid, they stray and get so confused on these [other] roads that it is difficult to return and get out from there.
אֲבָל הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ דַּרְכּוֹ לִקְרוֹת אֶת הָאָדָם תֵּכֶף כְּשֶׁרוֹאֶה שֶׁהוּא תּוֹעֶה מִדֶּרֶךְ הַשֵּׂכֶל, וְקוֹרְאוֹ שֶׁיָּשׁוּב לַאֲחוֹרָיו, וּלְכָל אֶחָד קוֹרֵא לְפִי בְּחִינָתוֹ: יֵשׁ שֶׁקּוֹרְאוֹ בִּרְמִיזָה, וְיֵשׁ בִּקְרִיאָה מַמָּשׁ, וְיֵשׁ שֶׁבּוֹעֵט בּוֹ וּמַכֵּהוּ, וְזֶהוּ הַקְּרִיאָה שֶׁלּוֹ, כִּי אוֹרַיְתָא מַכְרֶזֶת קַמַּיְהוּ: עַד מָתַי פְּתָיִים תְּאֵהֲבוּ פֶּתִי, וְהַתּוֹרָה הוּא הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּעַצְמוֹ, שֶׁהוּא קוֹרֵא אוֹתָם וּמְבַקְּשָׁם שֶׁיַּחְזְרוּ אֵלָיו.
But God’s way is to call to the person immediately when He sees him straying from the way of the intellect. He calls to him to turn back. And [God] calls to each person according to his aspect. To one He calls with a hint, and to another with an actual call. There is also one whom He tramples down and punishes, and that is his call. For the Torah calls to them, “Fools, how long will you love being misled?” (Proverbs 1:22). And the Torah is God Himself, Who calls to them and seeks them, that they should return to Him.
וְעַל־כֵּן כְּשֶׁעֲדַיִן לֹא נָטָה הַרְבֵּה מִדֶּרֶךְ הַיָּשָׁר, אֲזַי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ בְּקַל לָשׁוּב, מֵחֲמַת שֶׁהוּא מַכִּיר עֲדַיִן אֶת הַקּוֹל וְרָגִיל בּוֹ, כִּי זֶה סָמוּךְ הָיָה אֵצֶל הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְהָיָה שׁוֹמֵעַ קוֹלוֹ קוֹל הַתּוֹרָה, וַעֲדַיִן לֹא שָׁכַח אֶת הַקּוֹל, וַעֲדַיִן לֹא תָּעָה הַרְבֵּה בְּאֵלּוּ הַדְּרָכִים הָאֲחֵרִים הַתּוֹעִים וְהַנְּבוֹכִים, וְעַל כֵּן בְּקַל אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לָשׁוּב,
Therefore, if one has not yet strayed far from the straight road it is easier for him to return, since he still recognizes the voice and is familiar with it; for it was not so long ago that he was with God and heard His voice, the voice of the Torah. He has not yet forgotten the voice or strayed far along these other misleading and confusing roads. Therefore, he can easily repent.
וְהוּא כִּמְשַׁל הָרוֹעֶה, שֶׁכַּאֲשֶׁר שֶׂה אֶחָד תּוֹעֶה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ אֲזַי תֵּכֶף הוּא קוֹרֵא אוֹתוֹ, וּכְשֶׁהַשֶּׂה עֲדַיִן לֹא תָּעָה הַרְבֵּה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ, אֲזַי הוּא מַכִּיר הַקּוֹל וְהוֹלֵךְ אַחֲרָיו תֵּכֶף. אֲבָל כְּשֶׁכְּבָר נָטָה הַרְבֵּה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ, אֲזַי כְּבָר שָׁכַח אֶת הַקּוֹל וְאֵינוֹ מַכִּיר בּוֹ. וְגַם הָרוֹעֶה מְיָאֵשׁ עוֹד מִלְּבַקְּשׁוֹ, מֵחֲמַת שֶׁזֶּה זְמַן רַב שֶׁהָלַךְ וְתָעָה מֵאִתּוֹ, כֵּן כְּשֶׁכְּבָר הֶאֱרִיךְ זְמַן, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בְּרִשְׁעוֹ, וְנָטָה וְתָעָה הַרְבֵּה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ הַיָּשָׁר לְאֵלּוּ הַדְּרָכִים הַמְקֻלְקָלִים וְהַתּוֹעִים וְהַנְּבוֹכִים וְהַמְבֻלְבָּלִים, אֲזַי קָשֶׁה לוֹ לָשׁוּב כַּנַּ"ל:
This is analogous to a shepherd who, when one sheep strays from the road, he immediately calls to it. If the sheep has as yet not strayed far from the road, it will recognize the voice and immediately follow it. However, if it has already strayed far from the road, then it will have already forgotten the voice and no longer recognize it. Furthermore, the shepherd will despair looking for [the sheep], since it has been so long that it has strayed from him. Similarly, when one has been wicked for a long time, God forbid, and turned and strayed greatly from the straight path to these other tortuous, misleading, confusing and befuddling roads, then it is difficult for him to repent, as explained above.
וְדַע, שֶׁאֵלּוּ הַדְּרָכִים הַמְקֻלְקָלִים וְהַתּוֹעִים, כְּשֶׁאָדָם תּוֹעֶה בָּהֶם, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד, אֶפְשָׁר לִפְעָמִים שֶׁיִּתְעֶה מְאֹד וְיֵלֵךְ בְּאֵלּוּ הַדְּרָכִים הַנְּבוֹכִים, וַאֲזַי דַּיְקָא מֵרֹב תְּעוֹתוֹ בָּהֶם, יִתְהַפֵּךְ וְיָשׁוּב עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה סָמוּךְ מְאֹד לִמְקוֹמוֹ הָרִאשׁוֹן, וְלֹא יִהְיֶה רַק הֶרְחֵק מְעַט בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין מְקוֹמוֹ הָרִאשׁוֹן, וּבְקַל עַל יְדֵי נִסָּיוֹן קַל יָשׁוּב עוֹד לִמְקוֹמוֹ, אֲבָל כְּשֶׁהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ קוֹרְאוֹ וּמַזְמִין לוֹ הַנִּסָּיוֹן, אֵינוֹ מַכִּיר בַּקּוֹל, וְאֵינוֹ חוֹשֵׁשׁ לָשׁוּב לִמְקוֹמוֹ.
Know, too, that when a person strays greatly on these tortuous and misleading roads, God forbid, it is occasionally possible that he will stray so far and go on these confusing roads [for so long], that precisely because he has strayed so greatly, he will turn around and go back, until he is close to his starting point; there will be only a short distance separating him from his starting point. And then, easily, by means of an easy test, he can again return to his place. Yet when the Holy One calls him and arranges the test for him, he does not recognize the voice and gives no heed to returning to his place.
וְזֶה הוּא הַחִלּוּק שֶׁבֵּין עוּל יָמִים לְזָקֵן, כִּי מִי שֶׁעֲדַיִן בְּבַחֲרוּתוֹ וַעֲדַיִן לֹא הִזְקִין בַּחֲטָאָיו, אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ יוֹתֵר לָשׁוּב מֵהַזָּקֵן, מֵחֲמַת שֶׁעֲדַיִן הוּא סָמוּךְ וְלֹא שָׁכַח אֶת הַקּוֹל הַקְּרִיאָה.
This is the difference between a younger and an older person. For someone who is still young, who has as yet not grown old in his sins, is more likely to repent than an older person, because he is still close and has not forgotten the voice that calls.
וְזֶה: תָּעִיתִי כְּשֶׂה אֹבֵד – הַיְנוּ שֶׁתָּעִיתִי מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ הַיָּשָׁר כְּשֶׂה אוֹבֵד הַנּוֹטֶה מֵהַדֶּרֶךְ כַּנַּ"ל, עַל כֵּן אֲנִי שׁוֹאֵל מִלְּפָנֶיךָ:
And this is the explanation of [the opening verse]: {“I have strayed like a lost sheep; bakesh (seek out) Your servant for I have not forgotten Your commandments.”} I strayed like a lost sheep—That is, I strayed from the straight road, like a lost sheep that has gone off the road, as explained above. Therefore, I ask of You:
בַּקֵּשׁ עַבְדֶּךָ, כִּי מִצְוֹתֶיךָ לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי – הַיְנוּ שֶׁתְּמַהֵר לְבַקְּשֵׁנִי, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁאֲנִי זוֹכֵר עֲדַיִן אֶת הַקּוֹל הַקְּרִיאָה שֶׁל הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת,
bakesh Your servant, for I have not forgotten Your commandments—That is, hurry and seek me while I still remember the voice that calls, of the Torah and mitzvot.
וְזֶהוּ: בַּקֵּשׁ עַבְדֶּךָ, כִּי מִצְוֹתֶיךָ לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי – שֶׁתְּמַהֵר לְבַקְּשֵׁנִי תֵּכֶף, כִּי מִצְוֹתֶיךָ לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי עֲדַיִן, וַעֲדַיִן אֲנִי מַכִּיר אֶת קוֹל הַקְּרִיאָה שֶׁל הַמִּצְווֹת, שֶׁהֵם הַתּוֹרָה, עַל־כֵּן בַּקָּשָׁתִי – שֶׁתְּרַחֵם עָלַי לְבַקְּשֵׁנִי מְהֵרָה מִיָּד, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁעֲדַיִן לֹא שָׁכַחְתִּי אֶת מִצְווֹתֶיךָ, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁעֲדַיִן אֲנִי מַכִּיר אֶת קוֹל הַקְּרִיאָה שֶׁל הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת,
This is: “Bakesh Your servant, for I have not forgotten Your mitzvot”—hurry, seek me immediately, for I have as yet not forgotten Your mitzvot and I still recognize the voice that calls, of the mitzvot, which are the Torah. Therefore, my BaKaShah (request) is that You have pity on me to BaKeSh me quickly, immediately, while I still have not forgotten Your mitzvot—i.e., I still recognize the voice of the Torah and mitzvot that calls.
כִּי כְּשֶׁחַס וְשָׁלוֹם, הָאָדָם נִזְקָן בַּחֲטָאִים קָשֶׁה מְאֹד לְבַקְּשׁוֹ, כִּי כְּבָר שָׁכַח אֶת קוֹל הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת, וְאֵינוֹ מַכִּיר בְּקוֹל הַקְּרִיאָה, עַל־כֵּן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לְבַקֵּשׁ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, שֶׁיְּמַהֵר הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ לְבַקְּשׁוֹ לְהַחֲזִירוֹ אֵלָיו, כָּל זְמַן שֶׁלֹּא שָׁכַח עֲדַיִן לְגַמְרֵי אֶת קוֹל הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת כַּנַּ"ל,
For if, God forbid, a person grows old in sin, it is very hard to seek him. This is because he has already forgotten the voice of the Torah and mitzvot, and does not recognize the voice that calls. Therefore, a person must request of the Holy One that He hurry and seek him, to bring him back to Him while he has as yet not completely forgotten the voice of the Torah and the mitzvot, as explained above.
וְזֶהוּ מַה שֶּׁבִּקֵּשׁ דָּוִד הַמֶּלֶךְ, עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם: בַּקֵּשׁ עַבְדֶּךָ, כִּי מִצְוֹתֶיךָ לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי, כַּנַּ"ל:
This is what King David, of blessed memory, requested: “Seek out Your servant, for I have not forgotten Your commandments.”