Strengthening Holy Feeling We have many feelings that flow in a weak and shallow manner. If we broaden such a feeling and bring it to full being, it will turn into a great river whose waters and tributaries will never run dry.
For instance, sometimes a person feels an inner discomfort. He doesn’t know whether he needs to eat or sleep or have a drink. Then this feeling dissipates. But really what he felt was his soul stretching forth a limb, desiring to have the joy of experiencing of a pure thought.
Sometimes a person has a feeling of joy or the like. Since this feeling is not contained within a physical container (because it is a limb extended by his pure soul), he doesn’t know what it is and what he is feeling. His soul is knocking softly and fluttering, but he drinks a vodka or does some other this-worldly act. This does not calm the movements of his soul. He has only diverted and aroused his physical feelings to roar and thunder. But he did not hear the voice of his soul.
In the same way, the priests of Moloch, who practiced child sacrifice, would beat on drums so that a father would not hear his son wailing amidst the flames. A person’s physical feelings are so loud that the quaking of his soul passes unnoticed and in vain. It is as though his soul suffered a miscarriage.
Regarding this, our society proclaims to each member: Know how to look. Know how to look at everything that is occurring within you and outside of you. “Looking” does not only refer to seeing some object. It is rather a type of birth. We give birth to and bring forth something that we look at. We bring forth and give birth to its form until it becomes something that we can gaze upon.
Sometimes minor feelings flit through a person and are lost because he is unable to look at them. But more than that, entire mitzvot flash by him, returning to where they came from. He can feel what was within him, but he is incapable of focusing, imaging and knowing what he felt. For instance, he cannot tell how his feelings on the eve of Yom Kipper differ from those of Rosh Hashanah or from those on the eve of Passover, and so forth.
In general, be the kind of person who seeks God everywhere. Perhaps you will find God, Who hides Himself and the holiness of His glory. When you seek Him, you will find Him.
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אֵיפֹה תִּמְצָאֵהוּ? בְּךָ וּבְכָל סְבִיבוֹתֶיךָ.
And where will you find Him? In yourself and in everything around you.
To attain this end, you must abjure haste, for a hasty person cannot come to understanding. On the other hand, be careful that your deliberation does not lead to the opposite: to lethargy and depression.
Let us take an instance of composed mindfulness: Shalosh Seudos, the third Sabbath meal.
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הַאִם אֵין אַתָּה מַרְגִּישׁ מְאוּמָה אָז, הַצַּדִּיקִים אָמְרוּ שֶׁשְּׁעַת שָׁלוֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת הִיא הַשָּׁעָה שֶׁל יָפָה שָׁעָה אַחַת בִּתְשׁוּבָה ומעשים טובים בעולם הזה מִכָּל חַיֵּי עוֹלָם הַבָּא, ומכבוד קדושת חוֹתְנִי הרב הקדוש זצ"ל שָׁמַעְתִּי שֶׁהַמַּגִּיד מִקאזְנִיץ זצ"ל אָמַר בְּשָׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת שֶׁהָיָה בִּבְחִינת צַדִּיקִים יוֹשְׁבִים וְעַטְרוֹתֵיהֶם בְּרָאשֵׁיהֶם וְנֶהֱנִים מִזִּיו הַשְּׁכִינָה, וְאַתָּה הָאינך מַרְגִּישׁ מְאוּמָה, שָׁעָה שֶׁיּוֹתֵר טוֹבָה מִכָּל חַיֵּי העולם הבא עוֹבֶרֶת עָלֶיךָ וְאין אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ וּמַרְגִּישָׁהּ.
You are sitting Shalosh Seudos, on the Sabbath in the company of Hasidim. Don't you feel anything? The tzaddikim say that an hour of Shalosh Seudos is like the hour of which it is said, “Better an hour of teshuvah and goods deeds in this world than the entire life of the world-to-come” (Berachot 48a). My holy father-in-law said in the name of the Maggid of Koznitz that Shalosh Seudos has the quality of “the righteous sitting with crowns on their heads enjoying the radiance of God's Presence” (Pinchas, Zohar 258a. And you don't feel a thing? An experience greater than the world-to-come is passing over you—yet you feel nothing!
No doubt your laziness entices you again, saying, “Stop trying to be what you are not.” But I have already told you that this is the response of the evil inclination within you. The Almighty rules over everything; and if the righteous feel and enjoy His holiness in a developed way (corresponding to the head), you can at least do so in an undeveloped way (corresponding to the heel).
No doubt you also feel something at Shalosh Seudos. Your heart and mind are tossing to and fro from the mighty sound of the wheels: the wheels of the divine chariot that are passing through your soul. But you are not able to comprehend and see, and the sound and roar are lost to you, so that you barely realize that the Almighty accompanied by all His host has come.
Everyone has to learn how to see, on his level. During Shalosh Seudos, it is very simple. The Sabbath has passed, a day of holiness. The heavens have been sanctified and you too have sanctified yourself. You haven't involved yourself in business, nor wasted time in idle chatter. You have sat and meditated on your Creator, and with friends you have learned Torah or conversed in matters of holiness. You have cleansed yourself from the week’s every stain and speck of dust, and you have made an attempt to become attuned to your soul, as you weren't during the week. At every stage you have felt as if you were elevating yourself from one level of holiness to another, until you reached Shalosh Seudos, the pinnacle: the desire of desires.
Now you feel that this is neither the time nor place to eat meat and fish, but to search for God, Who hides in the crevices of glory, and to take pleasure in His radiance. You sit with your friends, who also seek God.
And you sit in darkness. This custom of Israel is Torah, because it is fitting that the body reflect the state of the soul at this moment. There are two types of darkness. There is what we see as darkness because it is beyond our ability to sense. From God's perspective, that true light. And then there is the darkness that comes only from this world.
Neither the world nor its affairs appear any longer. And since for a full twenty-four hours you have distanced yourself from this world and step by step drawn closer to the desire of desires, which is God's will, your mind, soul and the senses of your body force you to physically sit in darkness.
Your heart and eyes no longer see the world or worldly matters. God is hiding in darkness. After searching and examining throughout Shabbos, you have come to the thick cloud where God is. You have sought, and you have found the beloved of your soul. Your soul draws near to Him and melts in His holiness. The whole room is full of the celestial palace, and you force yourself through this holy palace to the Holy of Holies, your soul longing to enter the innermost chamber to come to the place where God is: to hold Him and not let Him go.
And if you were to know that you were to remain in this state constantly, then your soul would be joyful with an eternal joy. But you remember that in a minute the lights will be lit, you will make Havdalah, and again you will fall into the weekdays. Your spirit is bitter: how will you fall from the darkness of heaven, the clouds of purity, to the darkness of Egypt, the darkness of suffering: the suffering of the body and the soul together? You tremble and feel, now you feel them both: the end of days and the end of the week, the heights of the peak of holiness and the nadir of the lowliness of the non-holy. These two shades of darkness now wrestle within you at Shalosh Seudos.
This can be compared to the son of a king who was sent away from his father and thrown into prison. At the last moment before he is separated from his father, he draws himself even closer, he pushes forward and comes close, grasps him and embraces him, takes delight in him and yearns for him. In the midst of its delight and fear, the spirit cries out from the depths, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil, for You are with me” (Psalms). Your hands are practically trembling and searching: “You are with me” (ibid.), “I have grasped him and I will not let him go” (Song of Songs).
In truth, in itself this means of contemplation should be sufficient for you. If you contemplate and look at all the feelings that pass through you, you will gaze at all the angels of the heights, as well as high levels and stages that are passing through the path of your heart and soul. This will suffice for you to rise and to be transformed into a man of the spirit and a person of pure consciousness. Elevated thought will be revealed within you so that you will see only holiness, spirit and the glory of God that fills all the earth.
But a Jew has many other senses and capabilities, and he must develop all of them for the sake of God. He has to embrace God with all the limbs of his spirit. And so we will speak further on (God willing) of the obligations and actions of the members of the Society for Positive Mindfulness.
הַרְבֵּה הַרְגָּשׁוֹת יֶשְׁנָן שֶׁפְּתִיחָתָם בָּנוּ הֵן כְּפוֹטֵר מַיִם, קַלּוֹת וּקְלוּשׁוֹת, וְהָיָה אִם נַרְחִיב אַחַת מֵהֶן וְנוֹצִיאָהּ אֶל הַפּוֹעֵל תֵּעָשֶׂה לְנָהָר גָּדוֹל וּלְפַלְגֵי מַיִם אֲשֶׁר לֹא יְכַזְּבוּ מֵימָיו.
Strengthening Holy Feeling
We have many feelings that flow in a weak and shallow manner. If we broaden such a feeling and bring it to full being, it will turn into a great river whose waters and tributaries will never run dry.
וְאִם אֵין מַרְחִיבִים אוֹתָהּ תֹּאבַד בַּל תִּרְאֶה שָׁמֶשׁ.
If we do not expand these feelings, they will disappear without ever having seen the light of day.
יֵשׁ לִפְעָמִים שֶׁהָאִישׁ מַרְגִּישׁ לְמָשָׁל אִי נְעִימוּת בְּקִרְבּוֹ, וְאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ אִם צָרִיךְ לֶאֱכֹל וְלִישַׁן אוֹ לִשְׁתּוֹת יי"ש וְנֶאֶסְפָה הַרְגָּשָׁה זוֹ כִּלְעֻמַּת שֶׁבָּהּ, וּבֶאֱמֶת זֹאת הָיְתָה מִין הוֹשָׁטַת אֵבֶר מֵאֶבְרֵי הַנְּשָׁמָה הַחוּצָה שֶׁרָצְתָה לְהִתְפַּעֵל וְלַחְשֹׁב מַחֲשָׁבָה טְהוֹרָה.
For instance, sometimes a person feels an inner discomfort. He doesn’t know whether he needs to eat or sleep or have a drink. Then this feeling dissipates. But really what he felt was his soul stretching forth a limb, desiring to have the joy of experiencing of a pure thought.
וְכֵן לִפְעָמִים בְּהַרְגָּשַׁת שִׂמְחָה אוֹ כַּדּוֹמֶה, וְכֵיוָן שֶׁלֹּא נֶאֶחְזָה הַרְגָּשָׁה זוֹ בִּלְבוּשׁ גּוּפָנִי כִּי אֵבֶר שֶׁל הַנְּשָׁמָה טְהוֹרָה הוּשְׁטָה, לָכֵן לֹא יָדַע הָאִישׁ מָה הִיא, וּמַהוּ מַרְגִּישׁ בְּקִרְבּוֹ, מִין קִשְׁקוּשׁ וּפִרְפּוּר הַנֶּפֶשׁ הָיְתָה, וְהוּא שָׁתָה יי"ש, אָכַל אוֹ עָשָׂה דָּבָר אַחֵר מִשְּׁאָר דִּבְרֵי הָעוֹלָם, לֹא שֶׁהִשְׁקִיט בָּזֶה אֶת פִּרְכּוּסֵי הַנֶּפֶשׁ רַק הֵסִית וְשִׁסָּה אֶת הַרְגָּשׁוֹת גּוּפוֹ שֶׁיַּרְעִישׁוּ וְיַרְעִימוּ, וְקוֹל הַנֶּפֶשׁ לֹא יִשְׁמַע.
Sometimes a person has a feeling of joy or the like. Since this feeling is not contained within a physical container (because it is a limb extended by his pure soul), he doesn’t know what it is and what he is feeling. His soul is knocking softly and fluttering, but he drinks a vodka or does some other this-worldly act. This does not calm the movements of his soul. He has only diverted and aroused his physical feelings to roar and thunder. But he did not hear the voice of his soul.
מָשָׁל לְכֻמְרֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ שֶׁהִכּוּ בְּתֻפִּים לְמַעַן לֹא יִשְׁמַע הָאָב הֶמְיַת בְּנוֹ הַמִּתְחַנֵּן מִבֵּין לַהֲבֵי הַמֹּלֶךְ. הָרְגָשׁוֹת גּוּפָנִיּוּתוֹ רוֹעֲשׁוֹת כָּל כָּךְ עַד שֶׁרְעִידַת הַנֶּפֶשׁ עוֹבֶרֶת לְבַטָּלָה, וְהִיא מִין הַפָּלַת נְפָלִים שֶׁל הַנְּשָׁמָה.
In the same way, the priests of Moloch, who practiced child sacrifice, would beat on drums so that a father would not hear his son wailing amidst the flames. A person’s physical feelings are so loud that the quaking of his soul passes unnoticed and in vain. It is as though his soul suffered a miscarriage.
לְזֹאת מַזְהֶרֶת וּמַכְרְזָה חֶבְרָתֵנוּ לְכָל אֶחָד מֵחבריה, הֱוֵי יוֹדֵעַ לְהִסְתַּכֵּל, וּבְכָל דָּבָר אֲשֶׁר מִתְרַחֵשׁ בְּקִרְבְּךָ וּמִחוּצָה לְךָ תֵּדַע אֵיךְ לְהִסְתַּכֵּל, וְאֵין הִסְתַּכְּלוּת רְאָיָה עַל דָּבָר הַנִּמְצָא בִּלְבַד, רַק מִין לֵידָה שֶׁמּוֹלִידִים וּמוֹצִיאִים דָּבָר שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לָנוּ לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בּוֹ.
Regarding this, our society proclaims to each member: Know how to look. Know how to look at everything that is occurring within you and outside of you. “Looking” does not only refer to seeing some object. It is rather a type of birth. We give birth to and bring forth something that we look at. We bring forth and give birth to its form until it becomes something that we can gaze upon.
צוּרַת הַדָּבָר אָנוּ מוֹצִיאִים וּמוֹלִידִים עַד שֶׁתִּהְיֶה צוּרָה שֶׁנִּסְתַּכֵּל בָּהּ.
When you have a feeling, you must look. You must bring forth a form of the feeling, and look at that form.
וּמִי שֶׁמַּרְגִּישׁ אֵיזֶה הַרְגָּשָׁה, צָרִיךְ הוּא לְהִסְתַּכֵּל, כְּלוֹמַר לְהוֹצִיא בָּהּ צוּרָה וּלְהִסְתַּכֵּל בְּצוּרַת הַרְגָּשָׁה. וְלֹא הַרְגָּשׁוֹת קְטַנּוֹת בִּלְבַד עוֹבְרוֹת בּוֹ וְנֶאֱבָדוֹת מִתּוֹךְ חֹסֶר יְכֹלֶת הַהִסְכְּלוּת, רַק גַּם מִצְווֹת, שְׁלֵמוֹת עוֹבְרוֹת בּוֹ כִּלְעֻמַּת שֶׁבָּאוּ, הִרְגִּישׁ מֶה בְּקִרְבּוֹ וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לְהִתְרַכֵּז וּלְצַיֵּר וְלָדַעַת מָה הִרְגִּישׁ וּבַמֶּה שׁוֹנֶה הַרְגָּשָׁתוֹ בְּלֵיל יום הכפורים מֵרֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה וּמִלֵּיל פֶּסַח וְכַדּוֹמֶה.
Sometimes minor feelings flit through a person and are lost because he is unable to look at them. But more than that, entire mitzvot flash by him, returning to where they came from. He can feel what was within him, but he is incapable of focusing, imaging and knowing what he felt. For instance, he cannot tell how his feelings on the eve of Yom Kipper differ from those of Rosh Hashanah or from those on the eve of Passover, and so forth.
לָכֵן אָנוּ מַזְהִירִים לַמֵּד אֶת עַצְמְךָ לְהִסְתַּכֵּל.
Therefore, I advise you: Teach yourself to look.
וּבִכְלָל תִּהְיֶה לְאִישׁ שֶׁמְּחַפֵּשׂ אֶת ד' בְּכָל מָקוֹם אוּלַי יִמְצָא אֶת הָא-ל מִסְתַּתֵּר וְאֶת קְדֻשַּׁת כְּבוֹדוֹ וְכַאֲשֶׁר תְּבַקְּשֵׁהוּ וְתִמְצָאֵהוּ.
In general, be the kind of person who seeks God everywhere. Perhaps you will find God, Who hides Himself and the holiness of His glory. When you seek Him, you will find Him.
אֵיפֹה תִּמְצָאֵהוּ? בְּךָ וּבְכָל סְבִיבוֹתֶיךָ.
And where will you find Him? In yourself and in everything around you.
אֲבָל לְתַכְלִית זוֹ צָרִיךְ אַתָּה לְהִתְרַחֵק מִן הַמְּהִירוּת הַרְחֵק, הַרְחֵק הַרְחֵק, כִּי אֵין הַמָּהִיר מִתְבּוֹנֵן, אֲבָל גַּם הִשָּׁמֶר בְּנַפְשְׁךָ שֶׁלֹּא תַּגִּיעַ בִּמְתִינוּתְךָ עַד קְצֵה גְּבוּלָהּ, וְלֹא תִּגַּע בְּעַצְלוּת וְעַצְבוּת.
To attain this end, you must abjure haste, for a hasty person cannot come to understanding. On the other hand, be careful that your deliberation does not lead to the opposite: to lethargy and depression.
לְמָשָׁל אַתָּה יוֹשֵׁב בַּסְּעוּדָה הַשְּׁלִישִׁית בַּשַּׁבָּת בְּחֶבְרַת חֲסִידִים.
Let us take an instance of composed mindfulness: Shalosh Seudos, the third Sabbath meal.
הַאִם אֵין אַתָּה מַרְגִּישׁ מְאוּמָה אָז, הַצַּדִּיקִים אָמְרוּ שֶׁשְּׁעַת שָׁלוֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת הִיא הַשָּׁעָה שֶׁל יָפָה שָׁעָה אַחַת בִּתְשׁוּבָה ומעשים טובים בעולם הזה מִכָּל חַיֵּי עוֹלָם הַבָּא, ומכבוד קדושת חוֹתְנִי הרב הקדוש זצ"ל שָׁמַעְתִּי שֶׁהַמַּגִּיד מִקאזְנִיץ זצ"ל אָמַר בְּשָׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת שֶׁהָיָה בִּבְחִינת צַדִּיקִים יוֹשְׁבִים וְעַטְרוֹתֵיהֶם בְּרָאשֵׁיהֶם וְנֶהֱנִים מִזִּיו הַשְּׁכִינָה, וְאַתָּה הָאינך מַרְגִּישׁ מְאוּמָה, שָׁעָה שֶׁיּוֹתֵר טוֹבָה מִכָּל חַיֵּי העולם הבא עוֹבֶרֶת עָלֶיךָ וְאין אַתָּה יוֹדֵעַ וּמַרְגִּישָׁהּ.
You are sitting Shalosh Seudos, on the Sabbath in the company of Hasidim. Don't you feel anything? The tzaddikim say that an hour of Shalosh Seudos is like the hour of which it is said, “Better an hour of teshuvah and goods deeds in this world than the entire life of the world-to-come” (Berachot 48a). My holy father-in-law said in the name of the Maggid of Koznitz that Shalosh Seudos has the quality of “the righteous sitting with crowns on their heads enjoying the radiance of God's Presence” (Pinchas, Zohar 258a. And you don't feel a thing? An experience greater than the world-to-come is passing over you—yet you feel nothing!
בֶּטַח עַצְלוּתְךָ מְפַתָּה אוֹתְךָ שׁוּב, וּמִי יִדְמֶה לְהַמַּגִּיד וְלִשְׁאָר הַצַּדִּיקִים זַ"ל, אֲבָל כְּבָר אָמַרְתִּי לְךָ שֶׁתְּשׁוּבָה כָּזֹאת תְּשׁוּבַת היצר הרע שֶׁבְּךָ הִיא. ד' ית' מַלְכוּתוֹ בַּכֹּל מָשָׁלָה, וְאִם הַצַּדִּיקִים זי"ע הִרְגִּישׁוּ וְהִתְעַנְּגוּ מִקְּדֻשָּׁתוֹ ית' בִּבְחִינת רֵישָׁא, אַתָּה על כל פנים אֶת בְּחִינַת עַקֵבַיִים אוֹ עַקֵבַיִים דְּעַקֵבַיִים דִּקְדֻשָּׁה תַּרְגִּישׁ.
No doubt your laziness entices you again, saying, “Stop trying to be what you are not.” But I have already told you that this is the response of the evil inclination within you. The Almighty rules over everything; and if the righteous feel and enjoy His holiness in a developed way (corresponding to the head), you can at least do so in an undeveloped way (corresponding to the heel).
אֲבָל בֶּטַח גַּם אַתָּה מַרְגִּישׁ בְּךָ אֶת הַשָּׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת, גַּם לִבְּךָ וּמוֹחֲךָ מִתְנַעְנְעִים וּמִזְדַּעְזְעִים מִקּוֹל רַעַם הַגַּלְגַּל, גַּלְגַּלֵּי הַמֶּרְכָּבָה שֶׁעוֹבְרִים דֶּרֶךְ נַפְשְׁךָ, רַק שֶׁאֵין אַתָּה יָכוֹל לְהִתְבּוֹנֵן וּלְהִסְתַּכֵּל, וְהָרַעַם וְהָרַעַשׁ אוֹבְדִים וְנִפְסָדִים בְּךָ עַד שֶׁכִּמְעַט לֹא תֵּדַע שד' אֱלֹּקֶיךָ בָּא וְכָל קדושָׁיו עִמּוֹ.
No doubt you also feel something at Shalosh Seudos. Your heart and mind are tossing to and fro from the mighty sound of the wheels: the wheels of the divine chariot that are passing through your soul. But you are not able to comprehend and see, and the sound and roar are lost to you, so that you barely realize that the Almighty accompanied by all His host has come.
כָּל אִישׁ צָרִיךְ לְהִסְתַּכֵּל כְּפִי מַצָּבוֹ, וְהַהִסְתַּכְּלוּת פְּשׁוּטָה בְּשָׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת לַמָּשָׁל הִיא כָּךְ, עָבְרָה עָלֶיךָ הַשַּׁבָּת, יוֹם כֻּלּוֹ שֶׁל קְדֻשָּׁה, מִן הַשָּׁמַיִם קִדְשׁוּ אוֹתְךָ וְגַם אַתָּה קִדַּשְׁתָּ אֶת עַצְמְךָ בְּיוֹם זֶה, לֹא עָסַקְתָּ בְּמִסְחָרְךָ, לֹא טִיַּלְתָּ בַּשְּׁוָקִים וּבָרְחוֹבוֹת, לֹא הֵקַלְתָּ אֶת רֹאשְׁךָ, יָשַׁבְתָּ הִתְבּוֹדַדְתְּ בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין קוֹנְךָ, אוֹ יַחַד עִם חֲבֵרֶיךָ עָסַקְתָּ בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְשִׂיחַ שֶׁל קְדֻשָּׁה וַחֲסִידוּת, כִּבַּסְתָּ אֶת עַצְמְךָ מִכָּל אָבָק וְכֶתֶם שֶׁעָלוּ עָלֶיךָ בְּכָל הַשָּׁבוּעַ וְהִשְׁתַּדַּלְתָּ לָבוֹא עַד נַפְשְׁךָ שֶׁעֲזַבְתָּהּ וְרָחַקְתָּ מִמֶּנָּה בְּכָל יְמוֹת הַחֹל, וּבְכָל שָׁעָה וְשָׁעָה הִרְגַּשְׁתָּ שֶׁאַתָּה עוֹלֶה מִמַּצַּב אֶל מַצַּב, וּמִן מַדְרֵגַת קְדֻשָּׁה אֶל מַדְרֵגָה יוֹתֵר קְדוֹשָׁה עַד שֶׁקָּרַבְתָּ אֶל שָׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת מְרוֹם קִצּוֹ שֶׁל הַשַּׁבָּת, רַעֲוָא דְּרַעֲוִין, סְעוּדָה הִיא מג' סְעוּדוֹת.
Everyone has to learn how to see, on his level. During Shalosh Seudos, it is very simple. The Sabbath has passed, a day of holiness. The heavens have been sanctified and you too have sanctified yourself. You haven't involved yourself in business, nor wasted time in idle chatter. You have sat and meditated on your Creator, and with friends you have learned Torah or conversed in matters of holiness. You have cleansed yourself from the week’s every stain and speck of dust, and you have made an attempt to become attuned to your soul, as you weren't during the week. At every stage you have felt as if you were elevating yourself from one level of holiness to another, until you reached Shalosh Seudos, the pinnacle: the desire of desires.
אֲבָל מַרְגִּישׁ אַתָּה שֶׁכְּבָר אֵין הַמָּקוֹם וְהַמַּצָּב עַתָּה לִשְׂבֹּעַ בְּבָשָׂר וְדָגִים, רַק לְחַפֵּשׂ אֶת הָא-ל מִסְתַּתֵּר בּשַּׁפְרִיר חֶבְיוֹן וְלִשְׂבֹּעַ מִזִּיווֹ, וְיוֹשֵׁב אַתָּה עִם חֲבֵרֶיךָ גם כן מְבַקְשֵׁי פְּנֵי ד'.
Now you feel that this is neither the time nor place to eat meat and fish, but to search for God, Who hides in the crevices of glory, and to take pleasure in His radiance. You sit with your friends, who also seek God.
וּבַחֹשֶׁךְ אַתֶּם יוֹשְׁבִים, מִנְהֲגֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל תּוֹרָה הֵם, כִּי מַתְאִימִים הֵם אֶת פְּעֻלַּת הַגּוּף לְמַצַּב הַנֶּפֶשׁ בְּאוֹתָהּ שָׁעָה, כִּי אִית חֹשֶׁךְ וְאִית חֹשֶׁךְ, אֵצֶל ד' ית' כָּתוּב "יָשֶׁת חֹשֶׁךְ סִתְרוֹ" , אוֹר אֲמִתִּי הוּא, וְחֹשֶׁךְ הוּא מִן הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה.
And you sit in darkness. This custom of Israel is Torah, because it is fitting that the body reflect the state of the soul at this moment. There are two types of darkness. There is what we see as darkness because it is beyond our ability to sense. From God's perspective, that true light. And then there is the darkness that comes only from this world.
לֹא עוֹלָם וְלֹא דִּבְרֵי הָעוֹלָם נִרְאִים כְּבָר, וְכֵיוָן שֶׁזֶּה מֵעֵת לְעֵת שָׁלֵם שֶׁאַתָּה מִתְרַחֵק מִן הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וּמִתְקָרֵב אַתָּה פְּסִיעָה אַחַר פְּסִיעָה אֶל בחינת רַעֲוָא דְּרַעֲוִין, רָצוֹן הָעֶלְיוֹן, בְּמוֹחֲךָ וּבְלִבְּךָ אַף בְּחוּשֵׁי גּוּפְךָ, מֻכְרָח גַּם גּוּפְךָ בְּפֹעַל מַמָּשׁ לָשֶׁבֶת בַּחֹשֶׁךְ.
Neither the world nor its affairs appear any longer. And since for a full twenty-four hours you have distanced yourself from this world and step by step drawn closer to the desire of desires, which is God's will, your mind, soul and the senses of your body force you to physically sit in darkness.
גַּם לִבְּךָ וְגַם עֵינֶיךָ לֹא יִרְאוּ כְּבָר עוֹלָם וְדִבְרֵי הָעוֹלָם לִפְנֵיהֶם, ד' מִסְתַּתֵּר בַּחֹשֶׁךְ, וְאַחַר חִפּוּשׂ וּבְדִיקָה שֶׁבְּכָל הַשַּׁבָּת בָּאתָ אֶל הָעֲרָפֶל אֲשֶׁר שָׁם הָאֱלֹקִים, בִּקַּשְׁתָּ וּמָצָאתָ אֶת שֶׁאָהֲבָה נַפְשְׁךָ, מִתְקָרֶבֶת הִיא אֵלָיו וְנָמֶסֶת בִּקְדֻשָּׁתוֹ, כָּל הַחֶדֶר מָלֵא מִפָּמַלְיָא שֶׁל מַעְלָה, וְאַתָּה דּוֹחֵק אֶת עַצְמְךָ דֶּרֶךְ כָּל הַפָּמַלְיָא הַקְּדוֹשָׁה אֶל קֹדֶשׁ הַקֳּדָשִׁים, מִשְׁתּוֹקֶקֶת נַפְשְׁךָ לְהִכָּנֵס לִפְנַי וְלִפְנִים וְלָבוֹא אֶל הַמָּקוֹם אֲשֶׁר שָׁם אֱלֹקִים. אֲחַזְתִּיו וְלֹא אַרְפֶּנּוּ.
Your heart and eyes no longer see the world or worldly matters. God is hiding in darkness. After searching and examining throughout Shabbos, you have come to the thick cloud where God is. You have sought, and you have found the beloved of your soul. Your soul draws near to Him and melts in His holiness. The whole room is full of the celestial palace, and you force yourself through this holy palace to the Holy of Holies, your soul longing to enter the innermost chamber to come to the place where God is: to hold Him and not let Him go.
וְלוּ יָדַעְתָּ כִּי תִּשָּׁאֵר כֵּן גַּם תָּמִיד כִּי אָז הָיְתָה נַפְשְׁךָ שְׂמֵחָה שִׂמְחַת עוֹלָמִים, אֲבָל נִזְכַּרְתָּ שֶׁבְּעוֹד רֶגַע יַדְלִיקוּ נֵרוֹת, תַּבְדִּיל, וְשׁוּב תִּפֹּל לִימוֹת הַחֹל, וְנַפְשְׁךָ מָרָה לְךָ, אֵיךְ תִּפּוֹל מִן חֹשֶׁךְ שָׁמַיִם עַרְפִלֵּי טֹהַר, לְחֹשֶׁךְ מִצְרַיִם, חֶשְׁכַת הַצֵּרוּף, צָרַת הַגּוּף וְהַנֶּפֶשׁ גַּם יַחַד, תִּרְעַד וְתַרְגִּישׁ, אֶת שְׁתֵּיהֶן אַתָּה מַרְגִּישׁ עַתָּה קֵץ הַיָּמִין וְקֵץ הַיָּמִים מְרוֹם קִצּוֹ שֶׁל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה וְקֵץ נְמִיכוּת שֶׁל הַחֹל, הַתְּרֵי גַּוְנֵי שֶׁל חֲשׁוֹכָא נֶאֱבָקִים עַתָּה בְּךָ בְּשָׁלֹשׁ סְעוּדוֹת.
And if you were to know that you were to remain in this state constantly, then your soul would be joyful with an eternal joy. But you remember that in a minute the lights will be lit, you will make Havdalah, and again you will fall into the weekdays. Your spirit is bitter: how will you fall from the darkness of heaven, the clouds of purity, to the darkness of Egypt, the darkness of suffering: the suffering of the body and the soul together? You tremble and feel, now you feel them both: the end of days and the end of the week, the heights of the peak of holiness and the nadir of the lowliness of the non-holy. These two shades of darkness now wrestle within you at Shalosh Seudos.
מָשָׁל לְבֶן מֶלֶךְ שֶׁנִּגְזַר עָלָיו לְהַרְחִיקוֹ מֵעַל אָבִיו וּלְהַשְׁלִיכוֹ אֶל הַסֹּהַר, אָז בְּרֶגַע הָאַחֲרוֹן קֹדֶם שֶׁנִּפְרַד מֵאָבִיו מְקָרֵב הוּא אֶת עַצְמוֹ יוֹתֵר אֶל אָבִיו, דּוֹחֵק וּמִתְקָרֵב, אוֹחֵז וּמִתְחַבֵּק, מִתְעַנֵּג וּמִתְגַּעְגֵּעַ, וּמִתּוֹךְ תַּעֲנוּגָהּ וּפַחְדָּהּ צוֹעֲקָהּ הַנֶּפֶשׁ מִמַּעֲמַקִּים "גַּם כִּי אֵלֵךְ בְּגֵיא צַלְמָוֶת לֹא אִירָא רָע כִּי אַתָּה עִמָּדִי", הַיָּדַיִם כִּמְעַט רוֹעֲדוֹת וּמְחַפְּשׂוֹת, אַתָּה עִמָּדִי אֲחַזְתִּיו וְלֹא אַרְפֶּנּוּ.
This can be compared to the son of a king who was sent away from his father and thrown into prison. At the last moment before he is separated from his father, he draws himself even closer, he pushes forward and comes close, grasps him and embraces him, takes delight in him and yearns for him. In the midst of its delight and fear, the spirit cries out from the depths, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil, for You are with me” (Psalms). Your hands are practically trembling and searching: “You are with me” (ibid.), “I have grasped him and I will not let him go” (Song of Songs).
הִסְתַּכֵּל וְהִתְבּוֹנֵן, כִּי כָּל זֶה עוֹבֵר בְּנַפְשְׁךָ רַק אַתָּה לֹא הִתְבּוֹנַנְתָּ וְלֹא יָדַעְתָּ.
Look and contemplate. All of this is passing through your spirit—but you have not contemplated it and you do not know it.
וְהָאֵם אֶפְשָׁר שֶׁבְּמַצַּב רוּחַ כָּזֶה לֹא יַשְׁאִיר רְשִׁימָה עַל כָּל הַשָּׁבוּעַ.
Is it possible that such a state of the spirit will not leave its impression on the entire week?
הֵן אֱמֶת שֶׁבָּאֶמְצָעִי זֶה שֶׁל הִתְבּוֹנְנוּת כְּבָר דַּי לְךָ, וְאִם תִּתְבּוֹנֵן וְתִסְתַּכֵּל בְּכָל הַרְגָּשׁוֹתֶיךָ שֶׁעוֹבְרוֹת בְּךָ, זֹאת אוֹמֶרֶת שֶׁתַּבִּיט בִּפְנֵי כָּל מַלְאֲכֵי מַעְלָה מַדְרֵגוֹת וּבְחִינוֹת שֶׁעוֹבְרוֹת דֶּרֶךְ לִבְּךָ וְנַפְשְׁךָ, כְּבָר יִהְיֶה דַּי לְךָ לְהִתְעַלּוֹת וּלְהֵעָשׂוֹת לְאִישׁ הָרוּחַ וּבַעַל מַחֲשָׁבָה טְהוֹרָה, שֶׁיִּתְגַּלֶּה בְּךָ מַחֲשָׁבָה עִלָּאָה לִרְאוֹת רַק קְדֻשָּׁה וְרוּחָנִיּוֹת וּכְבוֹד ד' שֶׁמָּלֵא כָּל הָאָרֶץ.
In truth, in itself this means of contemplation should be sufficient for you. If you contemplate and look at all the feelings that pass through you, you will gaze at all the angels of the heights, as well as high levels and stages that are passing through the path of your heart and soul. This will suffice for you to rise and to be transformed into a man of the spirit and a person of pure consciousness. Elevated thought will be revealed within you so that you will see only holiness, spirit and the glory of God that fills all the earth.
אֲבָל כֵּיוָן שֶׁהַרְבֵּה חוּשִׁים וִיכוֹלוֹת יֶשְׁנָם עוֹד בְּאִישׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאֶת כֻּלָּם צָרִיךְ הוּא לְהוֹצִיא לד', וּבְכָל אֶבְרֵי נַפְשׁוֹ צָרִיךְ הוּא לְחַבֵּק אוֹתוֹ ית', לְכָךְ נִדְבַּר גַּם הָלְאָה אי"ה מֵחוֹבוֹת וְאֶמְצָעֵי בְּנֵי מַחֲשָׁבָה טְהוֹרָה.
But a Jew has many other senses and capabilities, and he must develop all of them for the sake of God. He has to embrace God with all the limbs of his spirit. And so we will speak further on (God willing) of the obligations and actions of the members of the Society for Positive Mindfulness.