Feeling in Prayer Why is a person’s soul hidden, sleeping as if forever? Why can’t it gain strength through a meditative state, an awakening of holiness? It appears to me that this is so because a person’s prayer and spiritual awakening occur as two separate incidents. Many times, even though he prays, he is not ready to awaken spiritually. And when he has a momentary flash of awakening, it is not the time for prayer. As a result, his soul has grown accustomed to a groggy sleep, and he cannot come to a state of pure mindfulness. Instead, he can only use his mind for physical things: what he will eat and what he will drink, and visualizing various physical things.
We must employ all sorts of stratagems so that our prayer will be inspired. On the other hand, we should not lose any bit of inspiration that occurs in the midst of our day, when we are not at prayer. Use such an occurrence as a key to your soul. As was said before, every type of emotion—even if it is triggered by business and other such this-worldly things, whether it is a broken heart or joy, contains something of a revelation of the soul, although covered in the garment of this-worldly needs. Take advantage of this propitious moment. If you feel any sort of broken-heartedness, even for physical concerns, immediately go off to the side and recite a few chapters of Psalms. Ideally, recite a chapter that is relevant to you at this moment. For instance, if you have to deal with enemies, recite Chapter Five: “How many are my enemies, many rise up against me . . . “ If you have some other difficulty, recite, “I have sunken into the muddy swamp” (Psalms 6:1) or “I will lift my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come?” (ibid. 121:1).
Don’t abruptly stop what you are doing and begin reciting words mechanically. First think about what is upsetting you, these problems that are frustrating you and causing you so much suffering. To whom will you go and who will save you, if not the Holy One, blessed be He, the Omnipotent One, the Father of compassion? And now you are approaching the Throne of Glory, and in your mind you imagine God’s glory: that you are standing before Him and pleading, “Hashem, how many are my enemies . . . many say, he will not be saved by God”—that is what they say—“but You, Hashem, are my shield . . . “ (Psalms 3:3).
After you finish reciting this chapter of Psalms, pray in your own words, with words that arise spontaneously within you. As you proceed from phrase to phrase and from word to word, feel that your mind and thought are growing stronger and rising, and that little by little you are leaving the needs of your body behind. And now an outcry bursts forth from the depths of your heart: “Master of the world, bring me before You. Purify me, raise me above all these worries, so that I can be close to You with a pure heart and soul.” And then, when you have finished praying, recite a verse of encouragement, such as, “Hashem is my Shepherd, I shall not lack . . . I will not fear evil, for—Master of the world—You are with me” (Psalms 23). And now rejoice that God is with you, for God truly is with you—particularly now, when you have poured your heart out to Him in a moment of elevation and closeness to Him. Then, for the rest of the day, be aware of a kind of spiritual pleasure, a pleasure of purity, for today your soul was in the Garden of Eden—and what can compare to it and its joy?
Also, when you feel joyful, even if this joy is the result of having been helped out of some this-worldly problem, don’t ignore this propitious moment when the spark of the revelation of your soul has been struck. Stand to the side and recite some chapters of Psalms (just a few, not too many), such as Chapter Eighteen: “Hashem, my might, strengthen me . . . my Rock, I will take refuge in Him; my shield and horn of my salvation, my tower . . . “ When you finish reciting Psalms, say aloud, “Master of the universe, thank You for Your great kindness, for taking care of me, for helping me in Your great compassion, for always guiding me for my own good—and in particular now that You have saved me in this way.” Feel how this physical joy has brought you to an elevated state in which you can rejoice in God.
When you undertake this practice, you won’t ignore even a sigh, because even with a simple, slight sigh about this-worldly matters, a sigh that comes from your heart, the heart of a Jew, you can attain a great revelation of your soul and bring it close to God. Your soul is like a sealed spring that you must search for. You must drill holes and cracks into it. And from every hole, you can bring forth a profusion of water, with which you can water your own fields and those of others as well.
Besides that, reciting these prayers and feeling this breadth of emotion is in itself good. These two things are cleansing baths that purify the Jewish soul from every polluted desire and bring it close to God. Also, they do not allow the soul to slumber lethargically and fall faint. Instead, they accustom your soul to be more and more revealed. Then these two grow stronger: your spiritual passion and your image-less mindfulness. And it grows easier to arouse your soul to attain inspiration and passion at any time.
חוֹשְׁבַנִי שֶׁלָּכֵן כָּל כָּךְ נֶפֶשׁ הָאָדָם טְמוּנָה וִישֵׁנָה שְׁנַת עוֹלָם וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לָהּ לְהִתְחַזֵּק בְּמַחֲשָׁבָה טְהוֹרָה וְהִתְעוֹרְרוּת שֶׁל קְדֻשָּׁה הִיא, מִפְּנֵי שֶׁאֵין תְּפִלָּתוֹ וְהִתְעוֹרְרוּתוֹ בָּאוֹת כְּאַחַת. הַרְבֵּה פְּעָמִים מִתְפַּלֵּל וְאֵינוֹ מֻכְשָׁר לְהִתְעוֹרֵר עַתָּה, וּכְשֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ זְמַן שֶׁל הִתְעוֹרְרוּת אֵינוֹ מִתְפַּלֵּל וְאֵין זְמַן תְּפִלָּה אָז, לָכֵן מֻרְגָּל נַפְשׁוֹ לִישֹׁן וְלָנוּחַ בְּטִמְטוּמָהּ וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לַחְשֹׁב מַחֲשָׁבָה טְהוֹרָה, רַק מַחֲשָׁבָה גּוּפָנִית, מָה יֹאכַל מָה יִשְׁתֶּה וּלְצַיֵּר לוֹ צִיּוּר וְדִמְיוֹן גּוּפָנִי כַּנַ"ל.
Feeling in Prayer
Why is a person’s soul hidden, sleeping as if forever? Why can’t it gain strength through a meditative state, an awakening of holiness? It appears to me that this is so because a person’s prayer and spiritual awakening occur as two separate incidents. Many times, even though he prays, he is not ready to awaken spiritually. And when he has a momentary flash of awakening, it is not the time for prayer. As a result, his soul has grown accustomed to a groggy sleep, and he cannot come to a state of pure mindfulness. Instead, he can only use his mind for physical things: what he will eat and what he will drink, and visualizing various physical things.
לָכֵן אָמַרְנוּ בָּזֶה אֵיךְ יְעוֹרֵר אֶת עַצְמוֹ בִּתְפִלָּה בְּתַחְבּוּלוֹת שׁוֹנוֹת, אֲבָל גַּם אֶת צַד הַשֵּׁנִי לֹא יַעֲזֹב, הַיְנוּ כָּל מִין הִתְעוֹרְרוּת שֶׁעוֹלֶה בְּקִרְבּוֹ בְּכָל הַיּוֹם שֶׁלֹּא בִּשְׁעַת הַתְּפִלָּה וַעֲבוֹדָה לֹא יַעֲזֹב אוֹתָהּ ג"כ, רַק יְשַׁמְּשֶׁנָּה לְמַפְתֵּחַ הַנֶּפֶשׁ, כִּי כַּנַ"ל כָּל מִין הִתְרַגְּשׁוּת אֲפִלּוּ שֶׁל מִסְחָר וּשְׁאָר עִנְיְנֵי הַגּוּף הֵן שֶׁל שְׁבִירַת הַלֵּב הֵן שֶׁל שִׂמְחָה יֵשׁ בּוֹ צַד גִּלּוּי הַנֶּפֶשׁ, רַק שֶׁמְּכֻסֶּה הוּא בִּלְבוּשׁ שֶׁל צָרְכֵי עוה"ז. וְצָרִיךְ הָאִישׁ לְהִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ עִם שְׁעַת הַכֹּשֶׁר הַזּוֹ, וּכְשֶׁמַּרְגִּישׁ אֵיזֶה מִין שֶׁל שְׁבִירַת הַלֵּב אֲפִלּוּ מִצָּרְכֵי גּוּפוֹ יֵלֵךְ תֶּכֶף הַצִּידָה וְיַעֲמִיד עַצְמוֹ אֶל הַכֹּתֶל וְיֹאמַר אֵיזֶה קאפיטלאך תְּהִלּים, וְיוֹתֵר טוֹב לוֹמַר קאפיטיל שֶׁהוּא מֵעִנְיַן הַמְאֹרָע שֶׁלּוֹ וּלְפִי דַּאֲגָתוֹ, לְמָשָׁל, אִם דַּאֲגָתוֹ עַתָּה מִן שׂוֹנְאָיו יִתְפַּלֵּל הקאפיטיל "ה' מָה רַבּוּ צָרָי רַבִּים קָמִים עָלָי וכו'" וְאִם דְּאָגָה אַחֶרֶת יִתְפַּלֵּל "טָבַעְתִּי בִּיוֵן מְצוּלָה" , אוֹ "אֶשָּׂא עֵינַי אֶל הֶהָרִים מֵאַיִן יָבֹא עֶזְרִי".
We must employ all sorts of stratagems so that our prayer will be inspired. On the other hand, we should not lose any bit of inspiration that occurs in the midst of our day, when we are not at prayer. Use such an occurrence as a key to your soul. As was said before, every type of emotion—even if it is triggered by business and other such this-worldly things, whether it is a broken heart or joy, contains something of a revelation of the soul, although covered in the garment of this-worldly needs. Take advantage of this propitious moment. If you feel any sort of broken-heartedness, even for physical concerns, immediately go off to the side and recite a few chapters of Psalms. Ideally, recite a chapter that is relevant to you at this moment. For instance, if you have to deal with enemies, recite Chapter Five: “How many are my enemies, many rise up against me . . . “ If you have some other difficulty, recite, “I have sunken into the muddy swamp” (Psalms 6:1) or “I will lift my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come?” (ibid. 121:1).
וְלֹא שֶׁיָּבֹא פִּתְאוֹם מִן הַשּׁוּק וִידַבֵּר דִּבּוּרִים בְּלֹא לֵב וּבְלֹא מוֹחַ, רַק יִתְבּוֹנֵן קֹדֶם בְּדַאֲגוֹתָיו, דַּאֲגוֹת אֵלּוּ הַמּוֹנְעִים אוֹתוֹ וּמְצַעֲרִים לוֹ כל כך הַרְבֵּה, וְאֶל מִי יֵלֵךְ וּמִי יוֹשִׁיעֵהוּ, אִם לֹא הקב"ה הַכֹּל יָכוֹל אָב הָרַחֲמָן, וְהוּא מִתְקָרֵב עַתָּה לִפְנֵי כִּסֵּא כְּבוֹדוֹ וּבְמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ מְצַיֵּר אֶת כְּבוֹד ד' שֶׁעוֹמֵד הוּא לְפָנָיו ית' וּמִתְחַנֵּן, "ד' מָה רַבּוּ צָרָי וכו' רַבִּים אוֹמְרִים אֵין יְשׁוּעָתָה לּוֹ בֵאלֹקִים סֶלָה", כָּךְ הֵם אוֹמְרִים אֲבָל "וְאַתָּה ד' מָגֵן בַּעֲדִי וכו'".
Don’t abruptly stop what you are doing and begin reciting words mechanically. First think about what is upsetting you, these problems that are frustrating you and causing you so much suffering. To whom will you go and who will save you, if not the Holy One, blessed be He, the Omnipotent One, the Father of compassion? And now you are approaching the Throne of Glory, and in your mind you imagine God’s glory: that you are standing before Him and pleading, “Hashem, how many are my enemies . . . many say, he will not be saved by God”—that is what they say—“but You, Hashem, are my shield . . . “ (Psalms 3:3).
וְאַחַר שֶׁאוֹמֵר אֶת הקאפיטיל תְּהִלִּים יִתְפַּלֵּל בְּפִיו בְּכָל לָשׁוֹן שׁוֹמֵעַ, כְּפִי הָעוֹלָה עַל רוּחָהּ, וּמִן דִּבּוּר לְדִבּוּר וּמִן תֵּבָה לְתֵבָה, יַרְגִּישׁ שֶׁמּוֹחוֹ וּמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ מִתְחַזְּקִים וְעוֹלִים, וּמְעַט מְעַט הוּא עוֹזֵב אֶת צָרְכֵי גּוּפוֹ, וּצְעָקָה מִתְפָּרֶצֶת מֵעֹמֶק לִבּוֹ, רבש"ע קָרְבנִי אֵלֶיךָ, טַהֵר אוֹתִי, הַעֲלֵה אוֹתִי מִכָּל דְּאָגוֹת אֵלּוּ, כְּדֵי שֶׁאוּכַל לִהְיוֹת קָרוֹב אֵלֶיךָ, בְּלֵב וָנֶפֶשׁ טָהוֹר, וּבְסוֹף תְּפִלָּתוֹ טוֹב שֶׁיֹּאמַר חַד פְּסוּקָא שֶׁל הִתְחַזְּקוּת כְּמוֹ "ד' רֹעִי לֹא אֶחְסָר וכו' לֹא אִירָא רָע כִּי", רבש"ע, "אַתָּה עִמָּדִי" , וְעַכְשָׁו יִשְׂמַח עַל כִּי ד' עִמּוֹ, כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת ד' עִמּוֹ. וּבִפְרָט בְּשָׁעָה זוֹ שֶׁשָּׁפַךְ לִבּוֹ לד', שֶׁהִיא שָׁעָה שֶׁל הִתְרוֹמְמוּת וְהִתְקָרְבוּת, וּבְכָל הַיּוֹם יַרְגִּישׁ אַחַר תְּפִלָּה זוֹ מִין עֹנֶג רוּחָנִי, עֹנֶג שֶׁל טָהֳרָה, נַפְשׁוֹ הָיְתָה בְּגַן עֵדֶן הַיּוֹם וּמִי יִדְמֶה לָהּ וּלְשִׂמְחָתָהּ.
After you finish reciting this chapter of Psalms, pray in your own words, with words that arise spontaneously within you. As you proceed from phrase to phrase and from word to word, feel that your mind and thought are growing stronger and rising, and that little by little you are leaving the needs of your body behind. And now an outcry bursts forth from the depths of your heart: “Master of the world, bring me before You. Purify me, raise me above all these worries, so that I can be close to You with a pure heart and soul.” And then, when you have finished praying, recite a verse of encouragement, such as, “Hashem is my Shepherd, I shall not lack . . . I will not fear evil, for—Master of the world—You are with me” (Psalms 23). And now rejoice that God is with you, for God truly is with you—particularly now, when you have poured your heart out to Him in a moment of elevation and closeness to Him. Then, for the rest of the day, be aware of a kind of spiritual pleasure, a pleasure of purity, for today your soul was in the Garden of Eden—and what can compare to it and its joy?
וְכֵן בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁמַּרְגִּישׁ בְּקִרְבּוֹ שִׂמְחָה, אַף אִם הִיא שִׂמְחָה מִן יְשׁוּעָה גּוּפָנִית לֹא יַעֲזֹב אֶת שְׁעַת הַכֹּשֶׁר שֶׁל נִיצוֹץ הִתְגַּלּוּת נַפְשׁוֹ, וְיַעֲמֹד בְּזָוִית וְיֹאמַר אֵיזֶה קאפיטל תְּהִלִּים (טוֹב שֶׁלֹּא לְהַרְבּוֹת עַתָּה בַּתְּהִלִּים) כְּמוֹ קאפיטיל י"ח, "ד' חִזְקִי וגו' צוּרִי אֶחֱסֶה בּוֹ, מָגִנִּי וְקֶרֶן יִשְׁעִי מִשְׂגַּבִּי וכו'" , וּכְשֶׁיִּגְמֹר אֶת הַתְּהִלִּים יְדַבֵּר כַּנַ"ל בְּפִיו, רבש"ע מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְךָ עַל גֹּדֶל חַסְדְּךָ שֶׁאַתָּה מַשְׁגִּיחַ עָלַי וְעוֹזֵר לִי בְּרַחֲמֶיךָ הָרַבִּים, וְתָמִיד אַתָּה מַנְהִיג אוֹתִי לְטוֹבָתִי וּבִפְרָט עַתָּה שֶׁהוֹשַׁעְתַּנִי בִּישׁוּעָה זוֹ, וְשׁוּב יַרְגִּישׁ עלייה כַּנַ"ל מִן שִׂמְחָה גּוּפָנִית, לִשְׂמֹחַ בד'.
Also, when you feel joyful, even if this joy is the result of having been helped out of some this-worldly problem, don’t ignore this propitious moment when the spark of the revelation of your soul has been struck. Stand to the side and recite some chapters of Psalms (just a few, not too many), such as Chapter Eighteen: “Hashem, my might, strengthen me . . . my Rock, I will take refuge in Him; my shield and horn of my salvation, my tower . . . “ When you finish reciting Psalms, say aloud, “Master of the universe, thank You for Your great kindness, for taking care of me, for helping me in Your great compassion, for always guiding me for my own good—and in particular now that You have saved me in this way.” Feel how this physical joy has brought you to an elevated state in which you can rejoice in God.
וּבְדֶרֶךְ הַזֶּה לֹא יַעֲזֹב אֲפִלּוּ אֲנָחָה הַיּוֹצֵאת מִמֶּנּוּ, כִּי אֲפִלּוּ מִן אֲנָחָה פְּשׁוּטָה קְטַנָּה וְקַלָּה גּוּפָנִית שֶׁיּוֹצֵאת מִקֶּרֶב הַלֵּב לֵב יִשְׂרָאֵל, יְכוֹלִים לִפְעֹל הִתְגַּלּוּת גְּדוֹלָה בַּנֶּפֶשׁ וּלְקָרְבָה על ידה אֶל ד', דּוֹמָה הַנֶּפֶשׁ אֶל מְקוֹר מַיִם שֶׁנִּסְתַּם, אֲשֶׁר צְרִיכִים לְחַפֵּשׂ אוֹתוֹ וְלַחְפֹּר חֹרִים וּסְדָקִים אֵלָיו, וּמִכָּל חוֹר אֲשֶׁר נִפְתַּח יְכוֹלִים לְהוֹצִיא מַיִם רַבִּים וּלְהַשְׁקוֹת אֶת כָּל שְׂדוֹתָיו שֶׁלּוֹ, אַף שֶׁל חֲבֵרָיו.
When you undertake this practice, you won’t ignore even a sigh, because even with a simple, slight sigh about this-worldly matters, a sigh that comes from your heart, the heart of a Jew, you can attain a great revelation of your soul and bring it close to God. Your soul is like a sealed spring that you must search for. You must drill holes and cracks into it. And from every hole, you can bring forth a profusion of water, with which you can water your own fields and those of others as well.
וְחוּץ מִזֶּה שֶׁתְּפִלּוֹת וְהִתְרַחֲבוּת הַהִתְרַגְּשׁוּיוֹת הַלָּלוּ בְּעַצְמָן טוֹבוֹת הֵן, וּמִינֵי מִקְוָאוֹת מְטַהֲרוֹת אֶת נֶפֶשׁ הֲיִשְׂרָאֵל מִכָּל תַּאֲוָה זֻהֲמָה הֵן, וּמְקָרְבוֹת אוֹתָהּ לד', מַעֲלָה גַּם זוֹ לָהֶם שֶׁאֵינָן מַנִּיחוֹת אֶת הַנֶּפֶשׁ לִרְדֹּם תַּרְדֶּמֶת עַצְלָה וְלִגְוֹעַ בְּהִתְעַלְּפוּתָהּ, מַרְגִּילוֹת הֵן אֶת הַנֶּפֶשׁ לְהִתְגַּלּוֹת וְלָלֶכֶת וּשְׁתֵּיהֶן מִתְחַזְּקוֹת הַהִתְלַהֲבוּת וְהַמַּחֲשָׁבָה, וְיָקֵל לוֹ לְעוֹרֵר אֶת נַפְשׁוֹ הָעֵרָה וְהַחַמָּה בְּכָל עֵת וּבְכָל שָׁעָה.
Besides that, reciting these prayers and feeling this breadth of emotion is in itself good. These two things are cleansing baths that purify the Jewish soul from every polluted desire and bring it close to God. Also, they do not allow the soul to slumber lethargically and fall faint. Instead, they accustom your soul to be more and more revealed. Then these two grow stronger: your spiritual passion and your image-less mindfulness. And it grows easier to arouse your soul to attain inspiration and passion at any time.